the CRIMINALLY INSANE PROJECT

Ever wondered what it would be like to be Slayer, or a member or Slayer? So have we. That's why we have, after years of research, developed an experimental Device that allows YOU to hear your favorite pop songs the way that Slayer hears them!! This technique we call ADVANCED SLAYER-PHONICS.

Like dogs or bats, Slayer does not hear the same frequencies that normal humans do! This is one of the very scientific reasons that they can write such heavy and ruthless music.An additional benefit of ADVANCED SLAYER-PHONICS: you can also temporairly unlock a more enjoyable, homicidal aspect of "normal" or "boring" music,which was previously only accessable to Hanneman, King, et al.

Hopefully, this breakthrough will usher in a whole new era of improved human-Slayer relations.

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Here are fourteen Slayer-phonically modified pop songs, in alphabetical order.

(MOZILLA FIREFOX users - click and play)

(IE users - right-click and choose 'save', then open on your desktop and play)

1. AEROSMITH -- criminally insane
2. BEYONCE-- criminally insane in love
3. BILLY JOEL-- you may be right
4. CAT STEVENS -- criminally insane
5. FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS- she drives me criminally insane
6. FRANK SINATRA -- oh, you criminally insane moon
7. MADONNA -- criminally insane 4 U
8. PATSY CLINE -- criminally insane
9. PAUL SIMON --still criminally insane after all these years
10. PINK FLOYD -- shine on, you criminally insane diamond
11. QUEEN -- criminally insane little thing called love
12. RICKY MARTIN-- livin' La Vida criminally insane
13. ROD STEWART -- criminally insane, she calls me
14. USHER -- criminally insane

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and you know the best thing about this? IT NEVER GETS OLD!!! it JUST KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER AND MORE INSANE!!! But,for those of you in a hurry, we have condensed the highlights of all 14 songs into the . . .

15. CRIMINALLY INSANE 12-MINUTE MEGA-MIX

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and as a special bonus "secret track", there is also

16. JUICE NEWTON -- just call me angel OF DEATH of the morning

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If you wish to join the Project, here is our email. but, please do not ask us to do a version of crazy train. doing a heavy metal parody of a heavy metal song is not funny.

however, if someone wants to assume responsibility for doing the inevitable 99 CRIMINALLY INSANE BALOONS remix (or whatever), we will share the terrifying, numinous secrets of SLAYERPHONICS with you, so you can build your own Device. Basically it is 3 samples.

here they are (in order of length and/or diction):

17. "CurrurSANE!"

18. "Criminally inSAAANEEE!!!!"

19. "CRIM-inally - IN - sane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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thanks to the NINJA, who successfully performed the following hazardous experiment in ADVANCED SLAYERPHONICS: "IT'S RAINING BLOOD/MEN"

If you do your own song, we'll post it here!