cali damage

so, there is a story behind the banner image up there.

It was a slightly drunken evening in Tokyo, in December 2005.  Weaving home from the Izakaya on my bicycle, I realized I was hungry.  Now another person might have just stopped at the konbini (convinience store) and gotten some rice-balls, but I was feeling ambitious. I didn’t want a meal. I wanted an EXPERIMENT. I knew it could be dangerous, but with sake as my guide, I felt prepared to go where no (sober) man had gone before. 

This is one of those ideas that seem funny when you’re drunk, but in the cold sober light of day just seem fucking HILARIOUS.

step one:  cornflakes.

step two:  soy milk. 

(Yes, that is a Hello Kitty Decapitated Head Table)

Step three:  to increase the probability of an interesting chemical reaction, a catalyst is added.

The experimental batch turns brown! 

It’s almost sick enough for me to eat, but not quite.

I need something else. Something more wrong.  some seasoning, if you will.

 step four:

Q:mix the Jager, porn, soymilk, and cornflakes together and what happens?

A: SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, here I am, demonstrating the success of the experiment.

Didn’t finish the whole thing. Didn’t have to — I had enough data to work with.

My scientific conclusion, based on qualitative analysis of organic and inorganic compounds from all spectroscopic frequencies, is, it tasted bad.

See, any jerk can guess how bad it tastes, but only a serious Drunkentist like me or Issac Newton can actually KNOW it. 

What?? Newton was totally hammered.  Who else passes out under a tree and doesn’t wake up until an apple bonks ‘em on the head, innit?  He was like “cor blimey mate, i discovered Gravity!  I’m so pissed I can’t walk 3 steps without fallin’ down! Look, mate, I’m going to discover gravity again — woot” “Oi blimey, there it is again! and again!” “Cor, mate, now me VOMIT is going down, not up! That is what we call solid confirming evidence of me hypothesys, innit? BLEEEARGGH.”

See, this is why science is so fucking awesome.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 22nd, 2006 at 11:23 am and is filed under Uncategorized, things I did. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

so, there is a story behind the banner image up there.

It was a slightly drunken evening in Tokyo, in December 2005.  Weaving home from the Izakaya on my bicycle, I realized I was hungry.  Now another person might have just stopped at the konbini (convinience store) and gotten some rice-balls, but I was feeling ambitious. I didn’t want a meal. I wanted an EXPERIMENT. I knew it could be dangerous, but with sake as my guide, I felt prepared to go where no (sober) man had gone before. 

This is one of those ideas that seem funny when you’re drunk, but in the cold sober light of day just seem fucking HILARIOUS.

step one:  cornflakes.

step two:  soy milk. 

(Yes, that is a Hello Kitty Decapitated Head Table)

Step three:  to increase the probability of an interesting chemical reaction, a catalyst is added.

The experimental batch turns brown! 

It’s almost sick enough for me to eat, but not quite.

I need something else. Something more wrong.  some seasoning, if you will.

 step four:

Q:mix the Jager, porn, soymilk, and cornflakes together and what happens?

A: SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, here I am, demonstrating the success of the experiment.

Didn’t finish the whole thing. Didn’t have to — I had enough data to work with.

My scientific conclusion, based on qualitative analysis of organic and inorganic compounds from all spectroscopic frequencies, is, it tasted bad.

See, any jerk can guess how bad it tastes, but only a serious Drunkentist like me or Issac Newton can actually KNOW it. 

What?? Newton was totally hammered.  Who else passes out under a tree and doesn’t wake up until an apple bonks ‘em on the head, innit?  He was like “cor blimey mate, i discovered Gravity!  I’m so pissed I can’t walk 3 steps without fallin’ down! Look, mate, I’m going to discover gravity again — woot” “Oi blimey, there it is again! and again!” “Cor, mate, now me VOMIT is going down, not up! That is what we call solid confirming evidence of me hypothesys, innit? BLEEEARGGH.”

See, this is why science is so fucking awesome.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 22nd, 2006 at 11:23 am and is filed under Uncategorized, things I did. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.