more physics and sex!
guys who hit on women. You know, pigs. If someone mentions ‘guys who hit on women’ you immediately think of someone from the ’70s with the open-collared shirt with chest hair and a medallion and a greasy smile asking an appalled girl what her sign is. And often that IS the case.
But consider this: for every guy who is at a club, breathing alcohol fumes into some blonde’s face, there is a woman who is staying at home, watching sex in the city with her terriers, who has given up on ever being touched. So who is the bigger loser?
How do I know that these women exist?
I don’t, but I can easily INFER their existence using the same foolproof (or in my case, misanthropic-drunkard-proof) methodology as Nobel Prize-winning Scientists who are studying dark matter. For years, cosmologists and astrophysicists were puzzled by the erratic behavior of galaxies and the expansion rate of the universe. It would take X megatons of matter to make the galaxies move in the way they were moving, and Y megatons of matter to make the universe expand at its current rate. .. and yet they could only find 10% of X! They decided that the extra 90% of X was invisible, unmeasurable particles called Dark Matter. How much is out there? We don’t know. What the hell does it want? No clue. Because, like dwarf stars, this Dark Matter can only be ‘seen’ by its effect on the stars around it: making them wobble erratically.
It does not take a genius to see the analogy to human relationships here.
These women, I will call the Give-Up Girls. I’m not talking about super-hardcore Cat Lady here. I’m talking about your co-worker or boss; your neighbor; the cashier at the supermarket. Normal women that for whatever reason just said, fuck it. Or, don’t fuck it. Whichever. That’s the scary part: they are everywhere but invisible! Who knows how many of them there are? Like Dark Matter, their existence can only be measured by the amount of erratically wobbling men.
But here’s the thing: everybody from professional comedians and sitcom writers to your ‘funny friend’ always makes fun of guys trying to pick women up: “dood check it out, he’s all ‘hey baby’ what a retard!” is basically guaranteed to get you a laugh even if you lost a ‘your-momma’ contest to Al Gore.
Which is fine, I guess. I don’t like those guys. But what I hate even worse is fucking double standards: The Give-Up Girls don’t get made fun of at all. Even though they are worse than the guys!
Why worse? Think about it – if a guy comes up with a cheesy line that appalls a lady, there’s a GUY who is not getting laid. But if a girl gives up on sex altogether, that is a GUY AND ALSO A GIRL who is not getting laid. Therefore, worse.
Sleazy guys: at least they are TRYING. Despite a 90% chance of humiliation.
Give-up girls: take the easy way out, even if it hurts themselves.
Therefore, worse.
OK, now here’s the thing: From the overuse of the pronoun ‘he’, to the lack of ‘women’s voices’ in discussions of WWII, ‘female invisibility’ is a rallying cry of feminists. So, feminists have a DUTY to oppose female invisibility in the dating scene. By exposing Give-Up Girls, and making fun of them just as much as sleazy guys get made fun of. Equal rights!
These women are fueled by a perverse combination of patriarchy and feminism: Both ideologies give women an excuse to give up.
Feminism says: ‘you don’t need a man.’
Patriarchy says: ‘good girls are pure and innocent and never get horny.’
As far as I can tell, the feminist slogan is just putting a girl-power spin on a very traditional and hurtful stereotype! It is pernicious! Both ideologies are teaming up to screw both genders. Why is this not a thing??!??
There is a second perverted mixture at work here.
I’m talking about the weird, eerie mixture of egotism and crappy self-esteem.
You can tell yourself, “No, I have GOOD self-respect. Because I don’t go out with jerks. Or anyone.” Uh-huh? In other words, you are telling your body, “Shut up, vagina. Sex is NOT important. There are absolutely no good guys left ever so stop complaining, you little meat wall.” When I put it like that, it sounds a little self-hatey doesn’t it? Combine that with egotism: ‘I deserve prince charming, and I won’t settle for anything less. I would rather die an old cat lady than surrender my precious booty to a regular guy.’ How give-up girl can juggle both ideas at the same time is beyond me.
Disclaimer 1: I’m talking about women in their late 20’s and older here. Naturally if you are in your teens and early 20s, maybe you honestly haven’t met the right guy or girl for you. Because you are young! So it’s not clear if you are a give-up girl yet.
Disclaimer 2: I’m not saying women’s purpose on earth is to have sex with dudes: I’m against Give-up Lesbians too. Change whatever pronouns you want, and my rant still works, because I am saying that women are equal to men: we’re all allowed to eat and fart and hump.
Anyway, does anyone know a Give-Up Girl?
What does she do instead of relationships?
Is she kind of like, ‘fuck it. They’re all assholes.’ ?
Or totally put all her sex-drive into some hobby? Such as?
Or is she totally devoid of horniness?
June 10th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
yeah, their are alot of wobbly guys therefore alot of give-up girls.
i used to live with two types of give-up girls. one didnt have sex till recently b/c she has no man getting skills and wants to save her self for a polo model (seriously) but ended up having sex with a jackass-friend then a random drunk guy from a college bar. both times she ended up hurt and now hates guys even more b/c we are ‘pigs’.
the other on has no self esteem or confidence in her ability to meet guys. she has had sex but never with guys she meets at clubs/bars only with guys she new somehow then was attracted to. all she does now is complain about how she doesnt have a boyfriend and when she goes out just sulks about her lame life.
June 11th, 2006 at 9:27 am
I don’t know any.
But then again, all the girls I know are dating.
And I don’t really know many girls.
Because when you’re a girl, meeting girls is dangerous, because they try and trap you with drama.
June 11th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
I think you should pen a song “Give-Up Girl.” It could be to the tune of “Hollaback Girl” or something.
You would make millions of dollars and be known as a witty humorist…and your message would reach millions of people around the world.
Trust me.
June 12th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
well if your having lady problems just do what i do. make your fingers into a v and thrust your tongue into them. melts their panties right off hahaha/why do i have to laught at my own jokes?
June 16th, 2006 at 7:19 am
I just encountered an illustritive example of the give-up girl.
I was helping a female aquaintance move. She’s been single for a long time, and not a lesbian to my knowlege, but she was pretty fat by conventional standards, which I’m guessing made dating harder.
She’d actually hired movers, so she and I just hung out, watching them pack, and threw a few delicate things into my car. She indicated one young man among the movers, a 20ish guy from Ecuador. Young, good looking, in good shape from moving.
“He was hitting on me.” she said.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Before you got here, he asked me if I had a boyfriend.”
“What did you say?”
“Well I told him it wouldn’t be him.”
“Why not?” I asked, a little alarmed.
“Because, he’s not my type.”
Wow.
I’d understand if she’d said, “He doesn’t speak much English, it’d be awkward.” or “I think he’s the creepy kind of chubby chaser.” or even “I thought he was kidding.”
But “He’s not my type?” I was agast.
Apparently, he’d followed up with suggestions that they take a shower together, and perhaps she’d have his babies.
That’s classic Give-up. Maybe she was convinced that it wouldn’t work out, which is plausible, but it’s not like she couldn’t have herself a time. She’s convinced that she doesn’t deserve even one night of hot jungle love from this guy, who’s obviously into her plushness. Lame.
June 17th, 2006 at 8:49 am
Given-upest Girl of Give-Up Girls right here. Yeah its inexplicable and I, being blessed with the ability to step away and examine myself in minute detail, don’t even understand how I can simultaneously hold out for Mr./Ms. Right so hardcore that I will at this trajectory die as said old hagey cat lady. A lot of the time, its just because my life is full and satisfying, at times even complacent, and I don’t have the will, desire or X megatons of energy to find and sustain involvement on a level equal to the intensity of the rest of my existence. And of course, to find something less intense would just be boring and unsatisfying (Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now).
THe strangest phenomenon I’ve experienced, is as soon as I made the conscious decision to stop looking, trying or even considering dating/romance/casual sex and started paying for porn, all these suitors showed up. A hot bike messenger (which i would have really been into), a Ninja (not kidding. not even a little. I passed up an effing NINJA), and several others. So what’s up with that huh? The girl that has passed the point of desperation and thrown in the towel is the hottest commodity in Chicago right now. And yes, I do have good self image, and don’t want prince/ss charming per se, just somebody worthy (whatever that means) who wants to stick around for a while. And screw like bunnies.
June 17th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
“he’s not my type” are the worst 4.5 words to ever exist in conjunction with eachother.
I’d also like to denounce all those chicks who hang out at bars and/or clubs ALL THE TIME, yet turn down ALL THE GUYS. ALL THE TIME.
They’re usually fat.
They usually also try to stop their attractive female friends from getting laid.
June 17th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Well, I love to go out. I don’t mind when guys hit on me, either- IF they are intelligent about it. The problem is, 99.9% DO act like the lame guy in the open collared shirt. Why they think that approach will work is beyond me. Maybe that should be the next question asked, eh?
July 2nd, 2006 at 7:48 pm
i am a give-up girl. i mostly mope about not meeting guys. i can’t talk to strangers when i go to bars and liking guys i already know is problematic. having low self esteem and getting cat called at on the street by men twice my age is really confusing.
August 5th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
look, girls are not like guys, ok, shit! you should know this. if you are trying to get a girl, apparantly a give up girl(that’s why you are so angry at them) just make a public access tv show where you are a mime but you allow yourself to talk. and then talk about the give up girl while making people call in for free apples. that should make them come crawling out of their caves.
August 30th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
there seems to be some confusion among the readers about the difference between having given up on relationships/casual sex and not liking getting hit on in unwanted ways and innapropriate situations. If someone approaches you at a bar or club at least be nice to them even if you’re not interested because just by being in such a situation you’re saying “I’m probably here to meet people so walking in the door was an agreement to maybe be approached.” Not saying take shit from every drunk guy, but you understand bars are an acceptable situation. When it’s just a woman alone with a house full of movers, even if you find the guy attractive, that is NOT an acceptable time to approach a woman. It’s akward and creepy, and if guys don’t see that you haven’t really tried understanding what being a woman in the world is like.
Also, if you gotta be in some kind of “serious relationship” to fuck, it’s mad easy to become a give-up girl and let’s face it feminism hasn’t done its work that well, many women are still hung up on that.
November 16th, 2006 at 8:12 am
The Give up Girls were Dark matted for me until now, and as per your statistics 90% of them ! A serious thought need to be given. I think I should start with spreadin the message like you… Hopefully the may come down.
Larisa
Don Lapre is da Man
larisa@larisajoyreilly.com
www.larisajoyreilly.com
August 4th, 2008 at 12:58 am
hmmm… i go out only with one thing on my mind, yet… guys are so shy or only reciprocate when drunk.
maybe cos this is asia,
maybe cos i’m not as skinny as their ex-gfs.
:P
-26/girl/singapore