Aboutttt
Steven Schultz. Middle-aged punk. Scottish-Italian. Berkeley CA. Serious trust issues. tenth-level hater. Long walks on the beach. With Vodka and Gatorade. Email me if you have ideas for future rants or raps.
here is a outline of my personality, in the form of a political platform.
pro-dancing like a pirate, anti-bouncer
pro-david foster wallace, anti- dudes-who-think-he-is-too-whacked-out-i-mean-come-on-he-is-obviously-doing-that-on-purpose-dude
pro-freestyle, anti-rapping because you want to sell shoes
anti-burning-man, pro-burning-hippies
pro-opeth, nomeansno, burzum, hello kitty, jalapenos, katatonia, and missy elliot, anti-people-who-are-not-them-or-in-the-case-of-jalapenos-do-not-eat-them
anti-girls-who-front-like-they-don’t-belch-or-fart. pro girls-who-can-do-math
anti-sunglasses, tattoos, or anything that suggests you are ‘edgy’ and ‘have an attitude’
anti-2live-crew, pro-2live Jews
anti-having-a-sense-of-entitlement, pro-worrying
pro-fessor Griff
Anti-christ. Pro The Jesus. You got a date Wednesday, baby!
anti-thong, pro-hygiene
anti-yelling WHOOOOOOOOooo-to-indicate-one’s-enjoyment. Pro-screaming-incoherently
anti-having-a-baby, pro-you-being-anti-having-a-baby-too. those things are loud and smell.
anti-trance,dance,house, anything that is supposedly dance but has no synchopation.
actually, anti-DJ’s-being-allowed-to-live
anti-religion, meter-maids, authority, the cop who told me i had to put my shoes on in the library AND HE FELT LIKE HE HAD TO BRING A BACKUP. what the hell? that is just sad.
pro love and rockets-the-comic !!!VIVA LA HOPEY!!!- anti love-and-rockets-the-band
anti-french-philosophy. pro-ice cube’s philosophy: “fuck a punk cause i ain’t him.”
pro-hater, anti-bling
anti-asian-american-guys-can’t-get-a-fucking-book-deal-in-this-damn-country-even-though-AA women-can. what is up?
pro-being-anti
pro-burritos, chana masala, dahl makhni, injira, mom’s pesto, honey-roasted-peanuts, anti-seafood-mayonaise-burgers, that-shit-smells-nasty.
pro-feeling-persecuted-and-just-fuming-all-the-fucking-time
pro-vodka-sake-whiskey, anti-opaque-drinks-in-general-and-fancy-ones-in-particular
pro-donny, anti-walter
Pro-Frink, anti- Sideshow Bob
anti-category, pro-ecclectic.
anti-spelling-ecclectic correctly.
anti-graphic-designers-architechts-and-’content producers’-or-any-other-boxy-glasses-and-goatee-nerd-who-thinks-he-is-avant-garde-even-though-he-is-just-a-advertising-prostitute. pro-hack.
anti-free-will, pro-sociobiology
pro-gauze, quill, DSB, sweef, Su19B, boob$hit, 4spikes, anti-your-band-you-lazy-american
pro-Hello, anti-Charmy
Actually, anti-any-sanrio-after-2003.
Pro-those-crazy-chinese-motherfuckers-who-not-only-climbed-everest-but-sawed-the-fucking-top-off-and-brought-it-back. anti-dudes-who-only-have-3-or-fewer-testicles.
pro-keeping-promises-keeping-secrets-showing-up-on-time, anti-anti-motherfuckers-who-act-all-like-their-life-is-a-movie-and-you-are-just-a-supporting-actor
pro-super-repressed-24-hours-a-day-practising-teenage-professional-golf-girls-with-exploitive-overbearing-fathers. god DAMN that gets me really hot.
pro-connie-anti-maury
ESPECIALLY anti-her-adopting-a-baby-who-is-not-me
anti-hipster. pro-people-who-stand-for-something
anti-The-Man, pro-the-mango-lassi
anti-that-last-entry-which-in-retrospect-was-not-very-you-know-good
anti-having-a-band-or-webpage, pro-having-your-article-published-in-a-science journal
anti-myspace, AIM, or any other place where capital letters occur randomly. anti-political-blogs-that-only-reprint-other-blogs’-rants. pro-The Jesus.
anti-linking-to-motherfuckers-just-to-be-popular. pro-linking-to-people-i-respect-even-if-they-will-never-know-my-name.
pro-getting-off-my-ass-and-hiking
