what if people’s vanity licence plates told the truth?
5OLAMME
N0FRNDZ
AFRRA1D
RLYS0RY
MYFAULT
WACKEMC
ALLR0NG
UGLY5AD
NOH0PER
GAVEUPP
5MALPN5
KANTSPL
STLVRGN
SMELFAT
TTLPOSR
W8N4DTH
UNLOVED
OHGODNO
PROBLEM
PITYMEE
PLZHELP
WYMOMWY
HELAHIV
BATHOS
WOE15ME
BADLIFE
BOTTOM
NOMAMA
BADL1FE
CRASHME
RICKETS
SPRCHNG
DYSFNCN
NORSPCT
GODH8ME
WIPEYOU
ORPHAN
PNKBTCH
WLTSMRZ
DADSLUT
BRN2MOR
TRKKKIE
following is an ad from the Actual Internet:
I’m finally ready to start dating again.
I’m totally human.
I’m totally content with all the other areas of my life, but would like to share some of my happiness with someone worthy.
I’m cute, more than pretty. But most guys then to say I’m pretty.
I’m Asian, petite, easily turned off my men who ONLY date Asian women, or have an Asian fetish. I don’t buy that “I prefer Asian women, I don’t have a fetish for them.” - whatever.
I work at a dot.com but I also have side career in the entertainment industry (no, not porn).
It’s hard to describe exactly what I’m looking for in a guy. I usually don’t know until it smacks me upside the head.
I do know that I like guys who take care of themselves, aren’t lazy, have a career, have ambition, have some creativity, and aren’t assholes.
I tend to like guys who are confident and are intelligent. I’m not talking MENSA intelligent, but you know…you can hold your own and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to take you out in public.
Anyway, like I said I’m petite so I also like guys who are tall. (Something about feeling protected…you know?) - So at least 5′10 - 6′1 seems to work best for me. - But I’ve dated shorter guys and taller guys too…depends on how hot I think you are I guess.
I may sound kind of abrasive but I know exactly what I DON’T want, and if you’re that then I won’t waste your time or mine. I can promise you that much.
Have a nice day.
Ciao.
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Hi! I am writing because you are asian and petitie! and, since i am also 5′2″, i think we would be a good match.
>I work at a dot.com but I also have side career in the entertainment industry (no, not porn).
That is wonderful - i have not dated an Asian porn actor in months. Also, once we are married maybe you can get me a job with your company. Not a job where i have to show up every day, or have skills. Maybe i could work from home. My parents’ home. Or you could just, you know, give me the money. Anyway, we can discuss that in a few weeks.
>It’s hard to describe exactly what I’m looking for in a guy. I usually don’t know until it smacks me upside the head.
See, it must be fate bringing us together. for years, my hobby has been smacking people upside the head, and now I finally find someone who likes that. when you feel it, you will know i am exactly what you are looking for. I can’t wait to sit around on my couch all day watching tv with you, since I don’t do anything else with my life. but you’ll have to act fast, because they will repossess my tv next week. if only i had a career or ambition, maybe i would pay for a new tv, but between smacking people and having an asian fetish I really have no time for that sort of thing.
>I tend to like guys who are confident and are intelligent. I’m not talking MENSA intelligent, but you know…you can hold your own and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to take you out in public.
you don’t have to be embarrassed me in public, because we can stay in my parents’ house and order take-out. problem solved! i solve your problems because i believe in pleasing the lady’s. Plus I am a member of MESA.
Anyway, send me your picture. Not one of your naked ones, because my Dad uses this computer and might see it. If you really are Asian, i will tell you my address and you can come over.
p.s. let’s do this.
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ok — now it’s your turn. what do you think was her response?
go head and put it on your car and drive around. everyone wins!
Asian female looking for her her sugar daddy-29(palo alto)I’m looking for a fun guy who is financially stable, and knows how to treat a girl right. I’m cute, sexy and fun.
Lets have fun and live life in the fast lane together…
Send a pic.
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Dear “Asian female looking for her sugar daddy - 29 (palo alto)”
What? Ain’t no 29 year old getting a sugar daddy. I mean, maybe if she is Russian, dating some Japanese businessman who doesn’t know any better. But is that the case here? Nyet.
You said you are Asian. . . I bet you are from one of those Communist-kind-of-Asian countries that does not really understand the concept of free markets and junk like that, because Google blocks your pro-democracy websites. Eat a dick, Google. Anyway, in capitalist western countries, rich men pay not just for sex, but for youth.
For instance, If I want to get all crazy and buy some girl a BMW, I will date a 18 year old Mexican gangster girl, and wind up in the hospital.
You, on the other hand, are 29, so you can get your choice of :
1) any 2 Slayer CDs
2) free ticket into a gay disco with me, or
3) 3 dates where I pay for a burrito each time. Salsa is on you.
However, if you have the tendency to . . .
a) get dumb tattoos on your lower back
b) talk about your ’stylist’ or your ‘acting coach’
c) ask me a lot about where I get my piles and piles of money
. . . then maybe I will only buy you a Snickers or a beat-up old collection of Garfield comics that some homeless guy was selling by Safeway. It’s up to you.
In return, I expect you to have some unusual hobbies or surprising stories about family and friends.
Good stories, dancing, trying new shit, that kind of thing.
>>Lets have fun and live life in the fast lane together…
>>Send a pic.
Send a pic?? Again, you are maybe a little unclear on the concept.
If I was rich AND fine, why would I need to pay money for ladies to hang around me? You are the one asking for free stuff, so YOU send a picture. Maybe if I like it, I will send a picture of the huge, Vesuvius-sized piles of cash money that just spontaneously shoot out of ATMs every time I walk by.
Ok? OK. Glad that I could clear that up for you.
S.
p.s. . . . Shit, you should give me a free date just for helping you with your game.