II ONNA NO HOUSOKU is a book by MR. AIDA. It's the autobiography of a famous Japanese gigolo. I'm gonna try to translate the whole thing, but for now here's the first thrid. It was published in 2002, so it is not 100% current, but pretty close.

I like it for four reasons:

1) unlike a lot of Japanese authors, his writing style is not full of pompous abstraction. He gets down to the nitty-gritty.

2) As you might imagine, he's pretty shameless. He says a lot of shocking things to be provocative. But what excites me the most is, when he says something shocking that he doesn't even realize is shocking. Like when his mask of smoothness slips a little. Like when he declares that he has illigitemate children by 10 women becuase "family is important to me!". Or when he says that rich women "glitter with intelligence." The book is full of these unintentional ironies.

3) Japan is famous for its porn, organized crime, and consumer electronics. But you can find porn and crooks in almost any country, but guys who charge you $300 to talk to them and eat $50 fruits is pretty much only in Japan.

4) he looks like this:

you can find more pictures of him, his clubs, staff, and thangs here:

http://www.aidakanko.com/

Anyway, I've resisted the temptation to add my own grim little asides, and tried to translate as best I could. here goes:

RULES OF BEING A BETTER LADY

FOREWORD

Out of the vast number of occupations, what is the one that gives you the most chance to meet the ladies? It is, make no mistake: the gigolo. Every day, countless ladies come to visit my club (called LOVE, in Shinjuku). Some of them want to drink and have fun, some are trying to forget their burdens in life, some don’t have a boyfriend, some are married, some have outlived their husbands, some are corporate businesswomen, some are in showbiz, some are prostitutes. In the same way, there are many types of gigolos: boys come from the deep countryside trying to make it in the big city, former bikers that turned down the Yakuza in favor of gigolo:ism, boys from prestigious universities who are trying to save money for law school, and men in their late 30’s who are still continuing the lifestyle.

A host club is one of the only places that you can find men and women from such different lifestyles having social relations! And the stories of those relationships are just as diverse as you would imagine, all unfolding before your eyes at the club: the host falling in love with a customer, sometimes they even get married! Or, a woman leaving a host for another host. As for me, I have been in the gigolo business for 33 years, so I have seen many of these stories firsthand. I decided I wanted to tell them to everyone, thus this book. I wanted to paint a picture of how gorgeous women can become, and how far they can fall.

My other goal is, to illustrate the rules for being a better lady. I’m the manager of a host club, I talk to the hosts every day and we share our knowledge of the trade. And not just conversation either: in the bathrooms and changing rooms, the gigolos post sheets of paper, detailing which customers are good, bad, and why! Tips and techniques for luring the ladies, good manners, all sorts of male expertise. The secret walls are absolutely covered with these papers. When the hosts have some free time, they can go to the changing room and receive some hints!

Think of this book as a ladies’ version of those papers.

I wanted to transmit to you, the reader, all the secrets and messages that hosts are always talking about in private. If you read this you will see through the eyes of a professional gigolo ? what kinds of women they find mysterious and luscious, what kinds of women they think are just nasty. And of course, in these pages, you’ll find lots of hints and advice on just how to be the great lady. Pay close attention, please! A woman’s beauty depends on how much effort she puts into the training.

INTRODUCTION: THE GIGOLO AS A “BETTER LADY PRODUCER”

THE UNEASY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GIGOLO AND CUSTOMER

When I say “host club,” what kind of place do you imagine? A tremendously expensive place? A suspicious place that upright citizens don’t enter? Like with extortion and so on? Recently host clubs have been on tv, and they’re not thought of so badly as in the past. But even so, most people who haven’t been even once probably imagine it to be a really bad place. But, for people who have a little curiosity about it, let me recommend that you come to my club one time! Beneath the gleaming classy chandelier, our hosts will drink sake with you and entertain you with witty conversations. They look dapper in their suits, like models who have settled down a bit. Here you can escape your everyday life and enter a new world. Our charming boys will welcome you at the entrance and you can have a very normal chat with them, but most women don’t want just that. The host club is a place where women can forget their cares and worries, and spread their wings, relaxing in this sumptuous atmosphere.

Our customers are tired of the usual awkward haggling between men and women on dates. Everybody thinks that gigolos are all about the money, but after all we are still men! And the truth is, sometimes we desire to cross the line between business and real love! Like any man, a gigolo is happy if a beautiful lady comes to the club. But, unlike most men, even if he does fall for a customer he will never show it. It is his job to make the customer love him, not vice versa! This is what makes the gigolo a real pro.

For instance, while looking into his partner’s eyes, he says, “this is just between us, but we have a lot of terrible customers in here. I wish they could all be more like you!”

Or, “I will only tell this to you,” or “please don’t tell anyone this, but…” and so on. The ladies have a weakness for things like this. But, the customer never knows if this is the host’s real feeling or just “business talk.” It is important to keep them in suspense about this! If a customer really likes a gigolo, she wants to believe his every word is heartfelt. Therefore, she’ll try to get him to expose his true feelings: “Hey, you probably say that to all your customers!” Of course, the host has to deny it: “What are you talking about?!?” he replies. “No really, I mean it. I’m a man, so of course if I’m with a beautiful lady my work is much more fun.” But, that’s as far as it will go this time. Now, he’s been called by another customer: “Ok, see you next time!” he says as he goes to her table. Now the first customer has been caught in his trap, hasn’t she?

That way, she will return perhaps three days later, and scrutinize the gigolo’s reaction, to see if he remembers her. Of course the gigolo says, “Oh! I have been waiting to meet you again! I thought you’d never come back.” With a face full of smiles he’ll escort her to her table. “Huh, I guess he does really like me after all!” she’ll think. Whether you are a man or a lady, no one falls in love with a person who doesn’t like them even a little bit. At first, they say, “That person looks like he might be a little interested in me.” But, little by little, it turns into, “I really am interested in him!” And before long they are coming to my club all the time! Making this happen is what we call the “host’s pride”, and it is essential to a professional gigolo. The ability to make a woman love you, without falling in love yourself. If you do fall in love, you are really selling yourself cheaply! Just make them love you, to the bitter end; it’s the iron rule of gigolos. The club is a place where such thrilling chases take place. This risky give:and:take between men and women give it an exquisite flavor! What’s more, the thrill of the chase is what makes the ladies polish themselves and emerge more beautiful women.

MY THRITY THREE YEARS IN THE GIGOLO BUSINESS

I first became a host thirty:three years ago. Back in those days women didn’t have so much freedom, so there were very few clubs. The very first host club was called TOKYO NIGHT, and when it opened naturally it caused quite a stir. Many housewives went our of curiosity. Six years after TOYKO NIGHT opened, I started working at a club in Shinjuku Kabukicho called LOYAL, so I was in this business from the beginning! I was living the gigolo lifestyle in the center of things, and within three years I started managing a club. After that, I really devoted my life to it! Nowadays, I manage five clubs, if you count my ONABE bar as a host bar. (incidentally, we call drag:kings ONABE here: it means a woman who performs the role of a man. These ladies, or should I say guys, I will introduce to you later).

Back when I was an active host, I was working at LOYAL and also at a club in Shibuya called NIGHT PALACE, plus on the side at TOKYO NIGHT, near Tokyo Station. I was running back and forth between all of them, but no matter where I was, I was the top ranked gigolo there! Maybe I shouldn’t talk about myself this way, but I was really popular with the ladies! In the gigolo business, we refer to a lady who spends a lot as a “fat customer.” At my peak I had about thirty fat customers (on my jammy). A host receives GYARA (guarantee, or base salary), but he mostly gets paid from commissions based on how much his customers spend. But if he dates a customer, she’ll give him a steady allowance too. I remember these experiences so fondly!

But even so, I wasn’t tall or particularly good:looking, so how could I pull all these customers? It’s too simple to just say I tried really hard. I also had very meticulous training, which was useful. I was born in Niigata deep in the countryside. My grandmother managed an enterprise in the red:light district. I would often go to visit her, and even though I was a child, in my heart I knew what kinds of thing were going on there. I was a fast learner! In my teens, I decided to try that business for myself: nowadays the kids call it nanpa (“girl hunting”). I was the sixth of nine brothers. At that time, so deep in the countryside, with so many children, it was too much for my family. They decided to give me up for adoption. I encouraged it. I was sent to the house of a local bigwig, but we didn’t get along at all, no matter what we tried. So, I ran away at 19 to the big city. In the beginning I was working at a Ginza club called Matsumura.

I was the BOOI (boy waiter), but I had the mizu shobai (literally, water trade; figuratively money for flesh business) under my skin, so I enjoyed it. But the lady I was dating at the time was really a square ? she was a bus tour guide of all things. She was against my working at the host club, so I changed jobs: I started selling beds.

THE “MARRIED WOMAN’S PARTNER” BED BUSINESS

Back then, beds were sold door:to:door, so I’d have to go to the customer’s house unexpectedly! This experience would come in very handy later on when I returned to hosting, although I certainly wasn’t thinking about that at the time, was I ? Sales were done during the day, when nobody but the housewife was home; you could say that I was the “married woman’s business partner.” I would appear at her door suddenly: “Ma’am, to begin with, why don’t you just try and lie down in it? If you get it, your husband will be glad. I think you know what I mean!”

“Is that so?”

“As for me, I have a new product! The latest in double beds. It sold like crazy the very first day it came out!”

“Really?”

And so on! That’s how the conversation would usually unfold. While talking I would steadfastly gaze into her eyes, and this would make her gradually soften. We’d develop an unspoken understanding. I would present the merchandise to her, and just like that, often just by jumping in the bed. “Honestly, it’s a great product. Won’t you try it just a little?” and after I sold the bed, we would often continue our acquaintance.

All told, France Bed had about 250 chapters nationwide, but I was the top salesman in the nation! They say that to triumph in business, first you have to open the heart of the customer. You could say that I learned this lesson well, am I right?? Often I would open their bodies as well! But seriously, if one doesn’t give an all:out effort, one can’t hope to succeed. Because often, one would get repulsed right there at the doorway. If that happens, just go back the next day. And the day after that! This will demonstrate your sincerity and good faith.

Perhaps the best place to sell door:to:door was the apartment complex. There were a lot of households full of cult members. I would immediately pretend to be a believer of whichever cult they were in, and usually close the sale right away. Eventually I got put in charge of five branch offices of France Bed. And all this was due to my uncompromising work ethic.

Incidentally, I had to use my heart, my head, and my body to win the goodwill of the ladies. This is undoubtedly true of the host business as well! Even now, I tell my boys, “If you don’t try your best, your customers will find another gigolo and I’ll send you away!” And this philosophy even applies to normal guys, too. If you don’t try your hardest, you’ll never get total control over the ladies’ hearts. There is not a man alive who gets popular by accident!!

WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS SUPPORTED ME

It was really hard to get my first business off the ground. Once I decided to try, I was already over 30, and I didn’t have any capital. If I didn’t get started in a hurry, I wouldn’t ever be able to open even one club. So SUPPOTA (supporters) were necessary. At that time, I had fifty regular customers. There was no way to avoid using them for capital. So I turned to my “fat customers” (women who ran their own businesses, or who were married to a CEO , or whose CEO husband had passed away, and so on): I told them, “The time has come for me to start my own club, I think. But I don’t have quite enough money yet. Miss XXX, you’re the only one I can turn to. Won’t you make a man out of me?”

But to tell the truth, the customers back in those days were much more likely to be wealthy. “Only because it’s you, Takeshi:chan!. I’ll loan you some.” They’d reply. “In return, you’ll give me free gigolos at your new club, won’t you?” they’d always goddamn add. And as they said it, they’d whip out a fat knot of cash, in thousand:dollar bills, and hand it to me. Now, when a host asks for a loan, it is understood that the loan will not be repaid, and the ladies knew this. But, in return for the money, I would give them a very special discount service, if you know what I mean. Hosts know the intricate subtlties of our customers’ tastes, so we can do this sort of thing. But I can’t exactly say our relationship was as relaxed as before money changed hands.

Anyway, I was able to open my first club, called LOVE. As a number:one host, you have to decide which has more value: money or friends who can save you if you’re in trouble. As a matter of fact, most of the people who have saved me are females. Whenever things become too much, I can always turn to my customers to bail me out.

However, persuading customers to save one really wears down one’s body ? although I’ll leave you to imagine how!

HOW I MET MY (CURRENT) WIFE

I met my current wife during my second year working at NIGHT PALACE. The first time, she came with two friends, but I looked only at her. “What an unbelievably high:class lady!” I thought, and I still can remember it. I was raised in the countryside, and learned to talk in the red:light district, so I feel very weak around such high:class ladies. That isn’t just me, though; most hosts feel this way. Or maybe, all men! To men, the lady who can look naturally classy, even without a lot of makeup or bling, she is an eternal treasure.

I could boast about her for over sixty years without embarrassment, but for now let’s just say that she’s really really really high class. When she talks, she takes time to choose her words. When she laughs, she covers her mouth with her hand. She doesn’t talk too much. She wears the most stylish Western clothes. I fell in love at first sight, and I was not about to lose her to another gigolo. So, I offered her “service time” with me. The second time, she came to the club alone. We talked about many different things. She said that she was married, what’s more, her husband graduated from Tokyo University (high:class!), and worked at a famous bank. I was in trouble, wasn’t I? I listened more: her father was a famous architect, and he’d built many famous buildings. “OK, OK,” you say, “I get it. She’s a classy lady.” Her and me were as separate as the highest moon and the lowest swamp turtle. I knew it was not appropriate to aim at her! But even so, she’d come to visit now and then just as if she didn’t have a family at home. I could tell I had a chance, make no mistake!

We gradually became more familiar with each other, and she told me more about herself: her husband seemed to be messing around; spending more and more nights “at the office.” She seemed lonely. Thanks to that, she became even more attractive. Without even thinking, I blurted, “Why don’t you divorce him and move in with me?” Of course I was also married at that time! And I had children too! But I didn’t care; all I wanted was to be with her. But if she married me, her relatives would disown her. She’d be cast out of her posh world.

But, in the end, she also fell in love with me, didn’t she? I can’t say why directly, but maybe it’s what people mean when they speak of the “call of the wild.” Or when they say, “You should make the all:out effort.” Men and women look for a partner who has what they don’t have, and that applies to us as well. Naturally, a sex:trade worker with the street life such as myself goes with a cultured, refined, top:class smooth lady such as her.

But, our marriage started out really roughly. She wasn’t familliar with the mizu shoubai lifestyle, and didn’t understand that I needed to get very very close to my customers. She wouldn’t forgive me meeting them outside the club. So her intention was for us to live separately for a while. In the end, we continued this for seven years. After all, I was still in my thirties, and just getting warmed up as a host. I was working furiously in the clubs. This might sound selfish, but I needed to seduce all of the customers that I had so far become good friends with ? after all the time I put into them, to not seduce them would be wasteful! Therefore, it was appropriate for me and my wife to live separately. Incidentally, when I was right in front of her, I would be very devoted. For her part, she would not investigate too deeply.

If I think about it now, those seven years living apart was what allowed us to make the relationship work and last. If we had done the normal thing and lived together, it would have been so much fighting! So I think she made the right decision. And let me add something else right here: she helped me set up my new club, loaning money and effort. But, after many years together, we have adapted to each other: now we are just a typical old squabbling couple.

MANAGING A CLUB WITH MY FAMILY EN MASSE

In my life I’ve dated a lot of women, and been married a lot too! Back in the day, I made some children. A lot of children. When I was a bartender, a lady named Satoko and I had a boy. When I worked for France Bed, I had another boy with a hostess. When I first started my own host club, I had a baby boy with a lady that ran the cash register at the local massage parlor. When she left me, she started working at a soapland (hoe house) and then wound up committing suicide at the age of 23. It was pretty pathetic. But after that, I was able to have one baby girl and three boys with the Mamasan of another club. My current wife has a step:daughter, so if you count children without blood ties, my offspring are an even bigger number! Legally speaking, I only have four children but, the truth is I would like to live together as a family with all my children. But getting custody of them is another matter! It’s a shame.

Family is very important to me. In the end, family is the only thing you can really count on. I had a huge family growing up but in the end I had to break off ties with them. Therefore, now I want to have an even bigger family of my own! The relationship between me and my hosts is also like a family. Once a year I take them on our customary vacation. I run my business like a family: my host club (“new love”) is like a stepchild, my manager is like a second stepchild, and “New Marilyn” (my drag:king host club)’s mama san is like a third stepchild. My wife helps me run the club too!

To the average person, my family might seem complicated, but I love all my children the same, regardless of if they have my blood or not. Love and loyalty are more important than mere blood. I should also mention that at my home office, we have more than 24 pets! Dogs and cats and a small:scale panther. We used to have a donkey in addition but, as you would expect, once he got big we left it in a farmer friend’s safekeeping. In this way I am always surrounded by a huge family of my own making ? pets, children, gigolos, drag kings. My clients also enjoy such a family atmosphere of intimacy and close rapport. That’s why I named my club Love!

CUSTOMERS TRAIN THE HOST, AND HOSTS TRAIN THE CUSTOMER

In my life I’ve been saved by women so many times! When I was a beginner host, I got so much advice from the customers. And when I had my own business, so many women patronized my clubs. It’s no exaggeration to say that I was mainly raised by women. You could say that I was lucky, but it was also a matter of technique.

“How can I get popular with customers that want to make a man out of me?”

A mature, fully:qualified host must be able to answer that question. A beginner can’t hope to get more than a beginning customer. That’s why I always say to the gigolos at my club, “How are you going to find a woman to make a real man out of you? You have to consider it!”

Nowadays, I’m managing three host clubs: ORIGINAL LOVE, NEW LOVE, and BIBUROSU LOVE ? over 300 individual gigolos are in my care. But the number one gigolo is very different from them! He doesn’t just take care of his body and clothes, he is also very careful about the details: he has many witty topics of conversation, and a knowledge of how to bargain with women. It’s quite common for the number one to earn 10,000 dollars a month; the record in Japan is 100,000 dollars a month. But fundamentally, hosts work on a commission so they have to show initiative in recruiting customers. Hosts that just sit there waiting for customers wind up getting fired sooner or later, but hosts that try very hard can make some rich clients. And they are in essence groomed and polished by those clients to become even better hosts! I have seen that happen so many times.

But, an even more important matter is, how can the host train the customer! So many women come in for the first time, not knowing how to drink properly, how to spend their money properly, or even how to carry on a proper conversation. In their short time at the club, the host has to find a way to say, “Whoa, whoa there!” and make them a proper dignified lady. One of the biggest pleasures of the job is to watch one’s customer grow in this way. Although in the end, if she can’t learn how to be SUMAATO (smart), she’ll wind up wasting all her money and ruining herself.

The ability to get good customers to come regularly is what makes a good host, as is the ability to turn bad customers into good customers! You could say we are “Good lady producers.” The host club is a place where women can expose their physical bodies but at the same time, it is a place where women’s inner nature is utterly revealed.

CHAPTER ONE:

HOST: THE BUSINESS OF SELLING MALES.

THE BILLING SYSTEM AT THE CLUB

There’s so many ladies that are always goddamn thinking, “Your club sounds like fun, but isn’t it too expensive?” Of course if you like spending money, you can spend as much as you want! But if you are low on cash, it is still possible for you to enjoy the club.

First, let me introduce the billing system of my club:

The base price is $85. That includes table charge, show charge and so on. The club’s show includes both karaoke and performance by a band of beteranbandoman (“veteran band man”) which I have been fortunate to hire. Besides that, there’s a charge for choosing a particular gigolo. This “selection fee” ranges from $10 to $40, depending on how popular the host is, and the customer’s relationship to him: “XXsan, my payday is tomorrow, so I will let you choose me for merely $10 this time!”, and so on. What we call “case:by:case” pricing. On top of that, we have a food charge.

Fruits cost $50 but a deluxe plate can cost $500. Customers with something special to celebrate, who don’t care about the expense, order the deluxe plate. The cheapest liquor is Korean Jinro whisky, which is $70 per bottle. (ed. Note: around $10 in stores). The most commonly ordered is Hennesy brandy, at $180 per bottle. We have over fifty different ranks in our alcohol pricing system, but the most expensive is KIMYO ROYAL, at $10,000. The next rank down is Hennesy Royal, at $8,000.

In any case, when we add up the base price, table charge, show charge, selection fee, food charge, and liquor, we like to add a “service charge” of 20 to 30 percent of the total. Oh, and a ten percent tax! Anyway, that is the billing system. Usually a customer who comes in alone can expect to spend on average 300 ? 500 dollars in a night. It’s not such a high figure, is it? But also, for first:time customers, we have an “all you can drink” tickets ($50 for two hours, or $100 for all:night). This way, first:timers can experience the host lifestyle cheaply.

THE MEN WHO WIN OR LOSE BASED ON THEIR FACE, BODY, AND TECHNIQUE

At the host club, the gigolos rent out their respective tables and manage themselves, so it’s more like a collection of individual entrapaneurs than a regular corporation. Success depends on their “strength of management,” so they have to be active in recruiting customers. Some earn tens of thousands of dollars a month, others might be lucky to earn one thousand. Their only capital is their face, body, and conversation technique. They have to make maximum use of these in order to win steady customers. In a word, we are man:selling! They rise and fall based on these attributes.

Nevertheless, compared to the past, my club is pretty lenient with hosts. Back in the day, it was normal for gigolos to have to pay the club a “table rental fee.” So even if they didn’t meet any customers that night, they’d have to pay the full amount to the club! But when I started my own club, I made sure to not do it that way : it’s hard to recruit and keep top:quality hosts with such a strict system. In our world, it’s normal for the bosses to go “head:hunting!” If you’re a careless boss, you might find your highest:earning gigolos snatched from under your nose. So at my club, I pay a small daily wage, regardless of their performance. It’s a lot different than the past, eh?

And another thing, when hosts begin work at a club, we give them a “BANSU.” (advance money). Of course, the money isn’t a gift! We take it out of their first few paychecks. If you loan someone 10,000 dollars, he can’t very well quit working at your club, can he? And not everyone has to pay all the money back. If you hire a top:level host, losing part of your advance money is worthwhile. In the past, club would use BOOIs (boy waiters), but I changed all that. The boys would pass out hot towels and serve drinks. Hosts should do all that! Instead of spending money on the boys’ wages, I used it to decorate my clubs.

The club colors are primarily green, sliver and gold. I designed all the decoration myself! We got green leather sofas, lots of mirrors, and a golden chandelier. Mirrors are important so that the gigolos can check to make sure their suit and hair look perfect. Also the customers can admire themselves. No one is happier than a pretty lady with a mirror! It cost 800,000 dollars to decorate ORIGINAL LOVE. By using top:level design, hosts are able to give top:level service, and also customers are able to feel top:level gorgeous! Also, as a manager, using such a luxurious environment encourages the gigolos to work their hardest.

TROLLS AND SHRIMPS CAN BE NUMBER ONE!

When I talk about a gigolo, you imagine someone like a model or movie star, right? A collection of gentlemen with handsome bodies is what you are thinking about! Naturally a lot of ladies love just this sort of gigolo, but there’s more to this business than pretty faces. I myself don’t have superior looks, and I’m not even especially tall. And yet the ladies have called me cutie:pie so many times! It is because of my attention to detail, the way that I wait on them, and my consideration that I am able to win so many hearts: this constant attention to the little things is what we hosts call “mame” (in English, something like “busy as a beaver!”) and it is one of the most important techniques of the gigolos. Charming the ladies is all in the details: “Your outfit this time is even more beautiful than last.” Or, “You changed your hairstyle, didn’t you? It gives me a good feeling!” or, “I see you got a new piercing. It looks very gorgeous, doesn’t it!” and so on.

If the customer smokes, you should look deeply into her eyes while pulling out her chair for her, and at the same time, discreetly place an ashtray on the table. When she pulls out a cigarette, you should have your lighter ready. If she looks thirsty, you should already be ordering her favorite liquor. If she looks like she has something on her mind, let her talk as long as she wants to. In short, anticipate all her needs. Always be waiting for the right time to do something, and when the time arrives, act!

“I think that we should call it a night. If you drink too much, it’s bad for your health.” Is something to point out to a drunk customer. Conversely, if she looks like she is spending money she doesn’t have, it is appropriate to scold her a little: “You don’t have to spend so much. Let’s do that next time!” If she asks for something you didn’t anticipate, do it without hesitation. Anything in the club is hers! That’s a professional attitude. The man who can do all this can succeed in this business even if he is a troll or a shrimp. Of course, good looks are an important factor too, but the tall, gorgeous guy who has no understanding of “Mame” can’t succeed as a gigolo. There’s always some customer who won’t hesitate to tell him, “No matter how hot you think you are, there is always a better man around!”

Even if you are ugly or short, if you can reach out to the customer’s needs, she’ll be appreciative. The fact is, most normal men have no idea how to do this, and women are left feeling like no one understands their true feelings. . . that’s why ladies go to the host club in the first place!

POPULAR GIGOLOS FALL INTO CATEGORIES

Occasionally, a tv show will have a scene set in a host club, or a comedy skit where a host comes in. In those cases, the host is young, handsome and stylish, looking like a popstar from the “Johnny’s” label. Naturally there ARE lots of hosts like that, but not all of them. At my club, hosts can be divided into four types.

1: THE IDOL TYPE

The most common is the idol type. With beautiful face like someone on TV, or like a model. There are even hosts that could have entered showbiz if they wanted to. This type ranges in age from 20s to early thirties, but they’re popular with women from all ages. Older women seem to like being waited on by a man so different in age as to be their grandson, and that’s great!

2: THE BAD BOY

In a word, he’s a Yankee (biker or greaser), isn’t he? He seems kind of rough, quick to start a fight. This kind of host is also popular. In practice, this kind of host really does come from a bosozoku (biker) background. He’s pretty popular with the older ladies. It’s risky but women’s maternal instinct stimulates these customers to try to correct the bad boy. If they take him out on a date, they always have to pay for every single thing ? the bad boy is a real hard:liner when it comes to gigolo:ism.

3: THE SPORTSMAN

Very manly, with a thickset build, he looks like he goes to the gym a lot. At first glance he might not look like a host at all, but he’s pretty popular. There’s a certain kind of customer who likes a tough guy with a stocky build. This type of host also has an exotic, almost foreign face. In the end, women assume such a man would be deeply compassionate so they are attracted to him, aren’t they?

4: THE ROMANTIC MOVIE GUY

This type is an older handsome man. At my club, hosts range from 20s to the sixties, don’t they? This type looks like he could have been in a period drama or old Yakuza movie, with his manly good looks. In the past, this type was more prevalent, but even nowadays, the older customers request him. Another type of customer is always goddamn saying, “I want someone to talk about the movies with! Tee hee I’m nervous!” . . . As if they’re meeting a real movie star.

YOU CAN BE A GIGOLO EVEN PAST SIXTY YEARS OLD!

Hosting is not limited to the young as you’d think. I have a host named Mr. Chiba who has been in movies any number of times. He started gigoloing when he was 23 years old and is now a veteran at 34. To tell the truth, our customers have an amazing variety of needs. Of course there’s older women who enjoy a gigolo their son’s age, but there’s also younger women who prefer a veteran who is their father’s age! Also, some of the older ladies want a man their own age, someone who in life has known both sweetness and bitterness, who can better understand the customer’s own troubles and triumphs in life. In the end, young hosts simply can’t offer the depth of service that a veteran can.

I have one host named Mr. Kaji, who is a superb dancer. He used to be a host when he was young, and then quit the business for ten years. What did he do during that time? Nothing! He just aimlessly drifted around. How was he able to manage this? He found a very “fat customer” at my club to be his patron, didn’t he! A widow so much older than he! She financed so many of the gigolos. She was very wealthy from insurance money from her husband’s death. For ten years, she gave out over a million dollars, so therefore it was a huge sum! To this day, he is actively collecting these older customers, or as he puts it, “ladies in the full prime of womanhood.”

But, not everyone likes this kind of older host. After all, as humans age, they become a little feeble (and I mean that in many ways!). Young gigolos are selling their good looks and power, and many times they have to quit when they get old. Like Mr. Chiba: he was often ranked Number One when he was young, but as he got older, he felt that he’d reached his limit as a host, and eventually became very neurotic and obsessed about it. Now he is at the mental hospital, convalescing.

Another host, one Mr. Castle, also met a pathetic fate. After he passed fifty years, suddenly all his customers left him! He slowly lapsed into a depression, and anyone looking in his eyes would know it. He was a very hardworking gigolo so I wanted nothing more than to help him, but he had no customers, so what could I do? One day he simply did not show up at the club. I called him at home but there was no reply. Twelve days passed with no news from him. As you can imagine, I was very worried! I went to his apartment and yelled, but no reply came. I pounded on his door, but no reply. I’d run out of options, so I had to call the apartment manager. He opened the door with his key.

We went in the room, and found Mr. Castle limply draped across his bed, looking like he just died. On top of his stove was an empty whiskey bottle, with a mostly empty glass next to it. red pills were scattered around the floor. Sleeping pills and antidepressants and who knows what! Although we might never know the exact cause of death, clearly it was suicide: he could not tolerate the thought of being unable to sell himself. He was one of those gigolos who makes a living off of his body, rather than his wit, so when he got old, customers stopped coming, and he stopped believing in himself. He couldn’t persevere in the face of rejection. Being a gigolo may look glamorous, but it can be a grim business sometimes.

IT IS ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE TO HAVE SEX WITH A CUSTOMER

To the ladies, sex is a weapon of last resort, isn’t it? Similarly, gigolos won’t lay down with a customer so easily! Most of the men know that sex is the customer’s final motive, sex is what keeps her coming back to the club time and again. Of course, if he grants her wish so straightforwardly, she’ll soon stop coming! And this is a point of contention between the club and the gigolo, who, after all, wants to be kind to the customer in all ways, right? Moreover, hosts in general want to run their own business as much as they are able. The path he takes depends on the individual gigolo, of course. To aquire a stable of rich customers, some use their body, some use their communication skills, but in any case there’s a lot of hosts trying to do business behind the back of the club.

In our business, a host who has sex too easily is called a MAKURA HOSUTO (“pillow host”). We men can’t claim that being begged for sex is terrible, but keeping the ladies on the brink of success is also fun, we can’t deny that either. They’re both important! I myself, when I was younger, was able to get friendly with the ladies, and I mean that in various ways! When it came to the aged customers, it was common for them to, after sex, bluntly whip out $5,000, or buy me a car, or something like that. (obviously I would have to satisfy them fully first) (it could get pretty gruesome, if I may speak frankly).

Mr. Chiba, my veteran host is still popular despite his age, but when he was young ? he was really mobbed by the ladies. He’d been in the movies, so when he’d come to the club, the young customers would scream KYAAAAA!! It was pretty hectic. His lifestyle at that time was really demanding. Nowadays, we’re bound by strict management laws, but back then, we could stay open until around five in the morning. Mr. Chiba would take the ladies who were still around, and go to a nearby bar to get some more alcohol, then go to a hotel! From the seven:AM check:in, he would go at it nonstop until 3PM. Mind you, I was no slouch in the time:management department myself, back in the day!

As you would expect, after working so hard his head became quite dizzy. As he exits the hotel, the sky is already darkening. And the area below the navel is throbbing and his knees are shaking. After that, he’d send the lady home in a taxi before going home himself. He’d sleep a little and then go back to the club, and he’d do this every day! You have to admit, one can’t keep up that lifestyle unless one is TAFU (tough)!

On the other hand, Mr. Mizuhara Yutaka was a gigolo of mine that was rated Number One time and time again. He always said, “Gigolos who use sex as a weapon really don’t have anything else to sell,” that guy!!! Most hosts deliberately tease, flashing a bit of sex appeal now and then to make the customers more attracted and impatient, but he was different. “I’ll only do a lady if I really have come to like her,” he said. He was the leader of a biker gang in Chiba, someone who by rights should have gone on to become a Yakuza, but his heart was as stubborn as it was pure. And this absolutely fascinated the customers.

As far as hosts seeing customers outside the club, I can’t really object, but gigolos who willy:nilly sleep with customers, without any policy or profit, are generally very immature.

THE CUSTOMERS WHICH THE HOSTS ARE INCLINED TO LOVE

Naturally the customers fall in love with gigolos, but gigolos fall for customers more often than you’d think! Of course, they don’t fall for just any lady. They are surrounded by average women all day, so they acquire a very discriminating eye. What follows is a description of the type of lady that hosts are inclined to love.

THE LADY WITH POISE TO SPARE

This kind of lady always stays composed and graceful, even if the customer in the next booth is very loud and annoying. At all times, she seems to project an image of refinement, as if she had everything to spare: money, class, charm. Nothing ruffles her feathers.

THE OLDER ELEGANT LADY

Hosts have a weakness for this kind of customer! Regardless of age, they glitter with an intellectual brilliance. Theirs is a very refined and elegant sexiness. Japanese style clothes suit them. If you ask the average gigolo what kind of lady he prefers, he’ll usually answer, “the elegant lady!”

THE EARNEST LADY

No matter how many times they come to the club, an irresponsible customer will always be terrible. We get so tired of women that always talk about themselves and never listen. But if a customer takes the time to get to know the gigolo a little bit, and asks his opinions on the important matters, he’ll be happy to consider her problems and answer seriously. Hosts are also very interested in this kind of lady.

THE RESTRAINED LADY

Hosts tend to be very aggressively self:confident or even pushy, so it’s natural they can’t get along with women who are the same way! If anything, they tend to fall for ladies that are restrained. The kind of lady who isn’t arrogant, and doesn’t need to be the center of attention all the time : hosts often fall for her.

THE SHY LADY

Men demand chastity from women, and hosts are no exception. Some customers get too drunk, start feeling on the gigolos and taking off their own clothes, but really that’s a shame, isn’t it? On the other hand, the shy lady has a huge burning passion which she strives to keep barely hidden. This kind of modesty is much more sexy. Having a burning passionate heart, is totally compatible with a strong sense of chastity, at least that’s my theory!

THE LADY WITH ECONOMIC IDEAS

We hosts are not particularly thinking about siphoning money off of customers. If we can get paid in proportion to how much the lady enjoys herself, that is sufficient. But some young ladies who throw money around with no sense of its value need to be rebuked! It’s easy to see who really has money and who is just trying to show off and impress you with money they don’t really have! That kind of lady is just disgraceful.

THE LADY WHO WILL SUPPORT HIM

Hosts always ask women for financial support, as well as spiritual support. The lady who will, from the bottom of heart, assist and cooperate with her gigolo is very welcome!

THE LADY WHO MAKES HIM FEEL AT EASE.

There’s a lot of women constantly whining and demanding things of men like so many spoiled children. So hosts have a weakness for ladies who pamper them and make them feel at ease. Gigoloing can be a very tough, grim business, so if we meet a sweet lady we like her immediately.

SEX MEANS SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO MEN AND WOMEN . . .

. . . at least that’s what they say! Of course we are now living in the age of “compensated dating” (schoolgirls selling themselves via cellphone), but ordinarily men and women are very different! Men will have sex casually, while the ladies only do it with someone they really love, they say. From my experience also, that’s generally true. Guys will get the sexual strength from alcohol, and just fall down with some girl. When the deed is done, he will quickly grow cold and look at the woman next to him and say, “Why on earth did I do it with such an unlikable woman, I wonder?”

But just as females don’t have sex for no reason, men don’t have sex for no reason either. When we’re young we have a physical motivation ? in other words, we want to be known as “the samurai who cut 100 people” or “the samurai who cut 1000 people.” Lots of young men have this bad habit. If they see a girl, they can’t help but try to persuade her!

Most hosts don’t have this mentality, but still they might ask a customer, “After the club closes, would you like to get a drink?” This is done merely to create a certain atmosphere! But, once a host becomes fully proficient at his work, sex becomes just one of the tools he uses for communication with a customer. For instance, if they have drank well, eaten well, and had a good conversation, the evening is already complete, the customer is satisfied, and so he doesn’t need to have sex to satisfy his own interests.

But as for me, I still have a sex drive even though I’m over 60! If I didn’t, I couldn’t work in this business, could I?

“If you don’t like her, how could you have sex with her?” is a question that women often ask men. But to men, the upper half of the body and the lower half are separate! This is a universal rule, regardless of ethnic group.

CUSTOMERS WHO WANT IT VS. CUSTOMERS WHO DON’T

I previously mentioned the “pillow hosts” who are quick to lie down with the customers. Some do it for fun; for others it is just business. But even the notorious pillow host meets customers that don’t want sex at all! Sex is something that happens between bodies, but as you are no doubt aware, mood, atmosphere, and loving-feelings are crucial components as well. To men, the upper body and lower body are separate things, but in the end if the atmosphere is bad, or he can’t get into the mood, or he really can’t stand the lady, it becomes really difficult to do the sex after all.

I forget exactly when, but we used to have a pretty big customer. That person fell in love with one of the hosts. Everyone who saw her would think, “Not only fat, but over 50 too!” She was really generous, though, wasn’t she? So we had to give her a lot of special treatment. One day, when the club closed, she left to go drinking with one of the gigolos. “This is it, they’re going all the way this time,” I thought. The next day, I asked him, “How did it go?”

“Boss, even in the dark, an undoable woman is still and undoable woman.”

Apparently they had gone to a hotel, but it wouldn’t stand up. “What’s the matter, XXXchan?” she had said. “What do YOU think?!?” he had wanted to reply! Instead he said, “Very sorry, work has been quite tiring recently, so I’m in bad shape. Let’s quit for tonight.” And then she goddamn said, “So? That’s too bad! You’ll have to try harder next time.” And she only paid him his regular allowance!!!! He kept continuously apologizing from the bottom of his heart, but she still wouldn’t give him any more money! He was doing penance for his thing not standing up! In the end, sometimes being loved by a customer is very tiring indeed.

GIGOLOS WHO HAVE GOTTEN MURDERED OVER WOMEN

My club is in Shinjuku’s Kabukicho district. To the average person, it’s got a pretty dangerous, scary image. But, if a host works there regularly, the customers will come regularly. There’s a lot of Yakuza (or what we call “the Groups”) coming and going around here, always fighting over territory, but of course I’m not allowed to talk about that, am I? But I’ve been working in Kabukicho for over thirty-three years and seen a lot in that time. As a manager, I’ve tried to have a very resolute stance against gang interference. Better to be friends with the police, I say! But still in the beginning of my career, I was involved in many dangerous situations. Like one of my hosts got in a quarrel with a yakuza, so of course I had to go out in the street to deal with it. He yelled at us to come out of the building, and then abruptly threw an ashtray at my head.

My wife really can’t stand Yakuza. One time they barged in our club, and she ran ahead of me to confront them: “What is your business? If you aren’t a customer, perhaps you should go home!” She really doesn’t know how the world works! I could only wait nervously at her side for their response. Of course, they said, “The fuck is up with this broad??” and so on. There were way too many close calls such as that.

Like one time, a Yakuza got angry and stood on a table, throwing anything he could get his hands on ? glasses, dishes, plates! One of the thrown things smacked my wife square on the forehead, which was covered in red. The hosts ran around like headless chickens, “We have to call an ambulance! Mama’s got a scar!” The ambulance soon came, and we got in. My wife didn’t lose consciousness. In fact, she was daubing at the red on her forehead quite nonchalantly, as if this happened everyday. In the end, it turned out that the plate which hit her was covered in ketchup! “Well, I thought it didn’t hurt as much as it should, with that much red,” she said, climbing out of the ambulance. How the lady got such nerves of steel I don’t know.

I have one more story about my wife and the mob. I was driving home after work and encountered the usual traffic jams. No matter how long I waited, it gave no indication of moving! There was no sign of road construction. “Is it an accident?” I wondered. I got out of my car, looking at the other cars, motionless like a line of chained prisoners. I walked towards the front of the jam. As I did so, I heard a lady yelling: “I don’t care about your excuses! Even if you ARE Yakuza, you guys have to follow the rules about traffic jams!” and so on. Wait, I knew that voice. The traffic jam was started by my wife arguing with the mob!

But even if I keep my distance from Yakuza, I can’t stop mob-connected guys’ wives from coming into my gigolo club. Sometimes it’s even the wife of a kanbu (mid-level gang leader, something like a capo) that’s coming in! That lady is always bringing some young thugs with her, so she’s pretty easy to recognize. We always have to be careful around Neh-san, as we call her. But a customer is a customer so we have to pretend everything is normal and wait on her. Women in her class are pretty glamorous creatures. With the latest western clothes, and a sexy look in their eyes. But they’re also kind of scary because they have been through the slaughterhouse of life, and barely escaped. It gives them a fearful dignity, like some wildness is just barely hidden beneath their poised surface. So she’d sometimes come in, and eventually made good friends with one of the younger hosts. Too good of friends.

The host was named Mr. Sakura. Nee-san lived separately from and her capo husband. She eventually asked Mr. Sakura to move in with her and her child. They tried to keep it a secret, but that kind of situation is hard to hide!

“That Sakura, he’s working here, ain’t he?” ? it was a phone call from one of the young mob associates. “This is gonna get worse before it gets better,” I thought. I soon told Mr. Sakura to take off work early and get out of Dodge. Just then, the Yakuza barged in the front door of the club. “Mr. Sakura never came in to work today, I don’t know where he is,” I said. I kept feigning ignorance for as long as I could, hoping to give him time to escape. I prayed desperately from my heart that he would be able to reach safety. But in the end, he was unable to complete his escape ? turns out that he took a wrong turn on the way out of Kabukicho and got caught. His body turned up in a cave in a mountain in Gunma prefecture. I can’t bear to think about what happened to him!

CHEATING DEATH THROUGH QUICK THINKING

Mr. Igarashi was a gigolo who lost his life in a conflict with Yakuza. There was no good reason; it was a case of mistaken identity. The crime took place right outside the front door of my club! After work, Igrashi had no sooner left the building than he was surrounded by a number of big guys. They said, “What’s up?” and shook his hand. In the next instant, they’d shot him in the gut one time. He fell over, lying face up on the ground, with his chest open. Of course I was shivering. He hadn’t even done any thing wrong. It was such a pathetic incident! I myself had a dangerous experience, didn’t I? It was really honestly fucked. I’d made friends with a hostess at an Ikebukuro club I often went to. We went to a hotel. We kept the lights out until we’d finished our business, so it was only afterwards that I saw the gang tattoo on her back. “That is so very not good,” I thought. When asked, she said that yes, her husband (!) was in prison (!!) and was getting out soon (!!!).

Naturally I left and didn’t see her again. But soon I got a phone call from her: “come over here now!” She sounded really desperate so I went to her apartment. It was obvious she’d been beaten up really recently. Her face was red and swollen and there was blood coming out of her nose onto the floor. Honestly it made me tremble to even look at it: “Next time it’ll be me!” I thought. I looked at her and saw the accusation in her eyes. I soon realized why when she said, “I didn’t tell him anything about you, so no problem!” We parted with goodwill. To the bitter end, I insisted to her husband that I had had nothing to do with her, over and over. I shudder to think what would have happened if either of us had told the truth. I lecture my young gigolos time and time again, “Don’t make a blunder with gang-affiliated customers!”

THE END OF MONEY IS THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP

Business is a very ruthless environment. Many things pass between the gigolo and the customer, but always the first thing to pass is money. Therefore, whatever private relationship they have is quite rightly dissolved when the money runs out. This is especially true of a lady over 50 who is giving him a weekly allowance in exchange for enjoying his pseudo-love. Rather than risk the humiliation of rejection, many of them voluntarily withdraw from such a relationship when they run out of money.

There’s four kinds of women that have a lot of money:

Female CEOs, wives of CEOs, widows with insurance cash, and high-end hookers. Especially older widows ? if they wait too long they can’t get a second marriage and have to live out the remainder of their lives alone until they die. To them, it is only right and proper to use the host club as a sort of oasis. Using nothing but money, they can spend every day surrounded by gorgeous gigolos! It is also possible to sex the young men. Other women may have looks, and that’s fine, but for those without looks, money is the only way to get this oasis.

There was one widow in her forties. Her husband had been the president of a famous mid-level company, She’d gotten married to him at 20, and spent the next 20 years living only for him. She was a shut-in housewife. She even didn’t have children because he didn’t like the idea. Suddenly he dropped dead, and so she had a considerable inheritance as well as insurance money. But no matter how much money they have, a woman alone in her forties with no family is going to be lonely. If she had worked at a white collar job, she would have many chances to meet co-workers or business partners, and maybe eventually receive an offer of “second-marriage” from them. But unluckily for her, she didn’t know anything outside of her own family. So it turned out that she had to go to our club! She was, I am afraid to say, the kind of customer that gigolos don’t like: older, overweight, and always making the same “I’m tired” face. But she spent the money, so she could get waited on by a small harem of somewhat popular hosts, which she seemed to enjoy.

She’d been coming for about two months, when she started seeing her favorite gigolo outside the club. Every date, she would give him an allowance of $1000, and they’d go to a hotel. They had a physical relationship too, didn’t they? There was no way for the host to fall in love with her: he simply regarded her as a SUPONSAA(sponsor). But after a time, her inheritance gradually ran out. She had no wages from a job, and couldn’t very well take money out of her old-age pension either. Her gigolo’s allowance slowly went down, to $500, then $300! And her appearances at the club became more rare. She was a proud woman, who could still remember being young , beautiful, and having men give HER an allowance to stay in her favor. She couldn’t stand being a beggar, so in the end, she cut off contact with the hosts. Once in a while, he would call her and invite her to the club, but she only said, “I don’t want to see you anymore!” and hung up. She is still out there somewhere, living alone, isn’t she? But I like to think that for a brief time, we helped her live out a woman’s dream.

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