CHAPTER THREE:

LADIES WHO ARE CRAZY WITH JEALOUSY, AND LADIES WHO CAN ENDURE IT

EIGHT LADIES ASSEMBLED IN ONE ROOM.

A host club can be a soothing place for the ladies, but also it can lead to their destruction, can’t it? To me, obviously it’s ultimately a healing place for women if they know what they’re doing; the problem is, most customers have no idea how to date a host! They make mistake after mistake, always looking for love in the wrong way. The ladies who have it in the back of their mind that they’ll find true love are especially in trouble! Hosts are, incidentally, very popular. And yet every customer wants to monopolize a host, and have a private, secret relationship with him:

“I’ll only meet you like this!” is what the host is expected to say, so that’s what he says. At least that’s the way I did it! But, don’t you believe it: not just hosts, but all men say such lies.

Only a woman who has been cheated on can really understand what a man means when he says, “Baby, you know I love only you, really!” He keeps goddamn saying it even though he has a wife and kids at home. That’s just men’s sex drive; there’s nothing anyone can do about it. So, women should really think about my words before dating a guy!

Meet Mr. Kazushi, the number one host at my club NEW LOVE, He’s only twenty:six years old but he is a stone pro! He can make a customer fall for him in one evening. And when you do that to every customer in the club, you’re in trouble! To hosts, there’s a line between “meeting in the club” and “dating.” And offering to cross that line is the most potent weapon in our arsenal, so most hosts use it as a last resort. But, Mr. Kazushi deploys it at the beginning! And that’s what keeps his customers coming to the club. The man undeniably has a passion for business! I’ll leave it at that.

One time, Mr. Kazushi he caught a cold and went home to lay down. The cold didn’t go away, so he stayed home from work. The customer who had requested him got very worried and called him at home ? she thought that was appropriate because she was his special girlfriend. But in fact, every customer of his ? in the club and out of it -- , thought the same exact thing. It takes a Number One host to pull off a feat of that magnitude ? he must have felt really proud.

Like an idiot, she figured, “If I don’t go wish him well, he’ll die!” so she drove to his house to check. What’s more, eight women did the same exact thing, which is even more scary than it sounds. At first, they came one by one, and each withdrew thinking, “I’ll check back again tomorrow.” He was lucky; not one of them met any of the others.

But another day, a customer coming to wish him well ran into another lady doing the same: “Mr. Kazushi, are you doing ok? Wait, who is that?” “It’s not what it looks like! She’s just here to wish me a speedy recovery.” “Um. Well. How do you do?” While this conversation was unfolding, yet another woman walked in. And another. And another!

Mr. Kazushi broke out in a cold sweat. Now he had to be the mediator ? it was no time to be sick! By the time the fifth woman arrived, he was soaked in sweat from head to toe, while all the while trying to entertain his guests with bad jokes. But the atmosphere grew more and more ominous.

The doorbell rang yet again ? finally the eighth woman had come. “He’s been waiting for me to save him,” she must have been thinking! At last, all the women were arrayed before him in full force. Here is where it starts to get really interesting! At first the women kept each other in check. But as you’d expect, it was not long before they realized they were all in the same boat, and they began to console each other. From there it was a short step to colluding with each other, and then on to accusing Kazushi!

“Oh my goodness, what you’ve been through! For the sake of seeing me, he must have neglected you terribly!” “Quite the reverse, you’re the one suffering here! You must have endured so much from him!” “Yes, he is the one who is bad!” and so on, in the fashion of an eight-man ambush. It no longer bore the slightest resemblance to a get-well visit!! What’s more, Mr. Kazushi had to stay in bed all week!

According to Mr. Kazushi, each woman had her respective weak points. The first time he dated them, he would search for that point, and confirm its existence. Thereafter, he would attack it, and that’s how he was able to ensnare so many ladies. So, to give you a better idea of the gigolo’s business mind, let’s line up the ladies’ weak points:

She was never scolded by her parents as a child, so I’ll give her a scolding

She hates her job. I’ll let her complain all she wants.

She hates her job, plus she begs to be alone with me. I’ll give her that, too.

She despises her customers, and how disgusting her job is. I’ll let her complain all she wants.

She misses having “regular sex.” I’ll give her only the most mediocre sex possible.

She hates her job and boss. It sounds as bad as the soapland lady! I’ll just listen and say, “Oh no he di’int!” until she’s done.

She has no taste! I’ll let her go shopping with me.

8. insurance saleswoman

She likes to consult with me about her work, and likes it when I say, “How did you close that account?” or, “That’s not the proper way! If it were me, I’d. . . .” She’s easy to satisfy.

Do you get it? You also have a weak point like that, don’t you? It’s a simple technique to use - by flattering their respective weak points, he got eight ladies in his room at the same time. (mr. Aida seems to have completely forgotten that this was a bad thing) If you want to charm YOUR man, it’s an easy knack for you to acquire as well.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER ONE: Gently and classily tell the man your special weak points ? what he can do to please you, and what he should never do.

A JEALOUS FRENZY ERUPTS INTO ATTEMPTED MURDER

“Silent and constant endurance” used to be considered important for women’s aesthetics. But nowadays, those women are few and far between, am I right? However, there was one customer who behaved that way. She was a hostess around twenty years old. Let’s call her Hitomi. After her work, she’d come to NEW LOVE, and quickly fell for Mr. Kazushi, who was our number-one at the time. He was one of those guys who would only date ladies with really pretty faces, but even he was charmed by Hitomi, and soon they moved in together.

At first, she was really glad. After all, she’d had to outwit many rivals in order to obtain a Number One host! She still came to our club, but soon found that she couldn’t endure seeing Kazushi with other ladies. But after all, he was at work! So naturally he couldn’t help drinking and talking to whoever wanted him. Not only did she quit coming to our club, but soon she ceased going out altogether. She’d come home from her club and silently wait for Kazushi to return home. But, after work it is normal for hosts to go drinking with customers who are giving them an allowance. Even on his days off, he had respons i bilites to top-paying customers. Often he didn’t come home at all ? it’s tough being Number One, isn’t it?

At those times, Hitomi would just sit at home, waiting and thinking. Most women who are dating or married to a gigolo beg them to quit, but in Hitomi’s case, she just waited quietly, because she loved him so much. She didn’t even complain. But gradually her mental state grew strange. Kazushi noticed it, of course ? she couldn’t speak articulately, and even her apologies for this were inconsistent and incoherent! She was on the dope really bad. Japan is a pretty strict country, but there are still places where you can get drugs. From comparatively weak dope like Marijuana to things with more extreme effects like LSD, speed, heroin, and cocaine, there is a lot available to a young lady. Whether it was the influence of drugs, or simply to get his attention, she had also started cutting her arms.

It seems that Hitomi started with sleeping pills, and then moved on to illegal dope. I don’t know if she was just lonely, or if she was confused by her lover, but in any case her heart gradually became more and more unbalanced. Whether you’re a man or woman, it can be bad living alone. You find yourself thinking the same thoughts over and over again. You want to quit but you can’t stop thinking them. And in Hitomi’s case, the man she loved was out, playing around with other women, so she developed a jealous heart.

One day, an incident finally occurred. Kazushi came home one morning after work, and started to change out of his work clothes. Suddenly, Hitomi collided with him from the back. In that instant, he felt as if his back were burning with intense heat, he said. She was gripping a knife in her hand, and when she pulled it out of him, blood spilled everywhere. At that point, she sunk weakly to the floor, crying, with an utterly exhausted expression on her face. Luckily, he got to the hospital and was patched up without any complications. Still, it took more than ten sti t ches to close the wound! He didn’t lose his life, though. It seems as if she wasn’t really trying to kill him, am I right? Incidentally, when people are driven into a corner, they will eventually lash out, and hurt themselves or their partner. But this is only done to demonstrate the extent of their love.

W as Hitomi driven to such extreme violence because she tried to endure silently, like a good, traditional Japanese daughter. . . . or was it just because she loved him so much? E ither way, she shouldn’t have been so patient with him ? she was bound to snap sooner or later! If your boyfriend is a gigolo, there is simply no way to monopolize him. If you can’t endure that, then it is better to break up with him. If you carry the “silent endurance” routine too far, both people will get hurt in the end. But then again, that’s fundamentally what love is about!

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER TWO: it’s important to grin and bear your partner’s faults, but don’t take it too far. Eventually someone is going to snap, and then there will be injuries.

PRODUCING A SOCCER TEAM OF ABORTED FETUSES???

At NEW LOVE, there’s a host named Aoyama Ryou. He’s a great guy and really popular, so he’s been Number One more times than I can remember. Understandably, there’s been an uncountable number of cases where he’s gotten a customer pregnant. One time, I said to him, “Ryou, you’re trying too hard! You already made enough babies to start a baseball team!” - - to which he replied without missing a beat, “Boss, if they were all born, I could’ve started a soccer team.” I think it would’ve been good if he kept all the babies he made, but he chose to go the route of abortion. “If that’s the case, he should never have gotten anyone pregnant to begin with,” the reader with a kind heart might say. But if a man and a lady have some love meetings, I have to admit, eventually there will be a baby!

Ryou wasn’t just playing around with his ladies; he really liked them, so that’s why they got pregnant so often, he used to say. And when they got pregnant they showed their most essential deep nature, for better or worse. Some would say, “I’ll have it but only because it’s yours!” Others would take the first opportunity to declare, “I’ll raise it myself so you should give me the support money.” When he’d ask them to get an abortion, some would go into a frenzy, saying, “It’s no joke! Take care of your responsibility!”

One of them was very stoic about it. When he told her, “I’m very sorry, but I’m not ready to be a father right now,” she just silently nodded. He made an appointment for them to go to the clinic together, but she went earlier, to get an abortion on her own, without telling him. The next time they met, he said, “You went by yourself?” She smiled and nodded. “Please forgive me,” he said, and bowed his head. At that instant, a huge flood of tears erupted from her eyes, and she collapsed into his chest. She’d been stretched to the limit, and his words had snapped her like a string. I’m afraid that she really did love him. She decided to go on her own to spare him the burden of watching her abortion. When a woman acts with such silent strength, we men are always at a loss for what to do. Mr. Ryou, too, couldn’t help but cry and hold her close. To men, a woman who is strong and quiet in equal measure is such a precious thing.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER THREE: men have a weakness for a woman’s silent affection. If you can love quietly, you will become a stronger woman.

( Jesus, this fucking guy. )

THE CRYING PROSTITUTE WHO SAYS, “PLEASE DON’T GO TO THE BROTHEL!”

( “soapland” or “soap” refers to a kind of brothel where naked ladies give you a bath and then some sexing)

(fuzoku refers to the Japanese sex industry, as opposed to the nominally sex-free host/hostess business)

You’d never expect it, but the truth is that most hosts have never been to a fuzoku place! Every day at work they’re surrounded by females so they wouldn’t think about going out of their way to pay money to be with yet another woman! But, there are some gigolos who by some chance, wind up going to a fuzoku and get hooked on it.

“OMG! She did this and that to me! I was so surprised!” young Mr. Chiba once said, af t er his first time.

What in the world did he expect her to do at such a place, I wonder?!? To gigolos, women are subjects for him to service. So for him to be serviced by a woman can be leave quite a strange impression! Some hosts totally lose their cool when the fuzoku lady starts to service them. They frantically try to give her pleasure, then leave in quite a hurry! I t ’s a consequence of our lifestyle. “I paid the money and serviced her! Why did I bother going at all?” H e ’ll say to himself afterwords, while cocking his head in thought.

This happens even to very seasoned, professional hosts. Their only relationships with women are on a business level, so even if they go to a fuzoku, they’ll shrewdly try to win her heart just out of habit. Sometimes they even get her to follow them home! If that happens, the next development is that she’ll start coming to my club, or perhaps become their steady girl -- Of course the best PATAAN (pattern) is that she’ll become a regular customer, right?

It’s often said that prostitutes are the most kindhearted, lonely girls. The fuzoku industry runs the gamut, from “light” jobs like hostess, to more “heavy” jobs such as pink salons, image clubs, fashion health, and soapland. But in any case, the harder the work, the more kindhearted the lady, is what they say.

In my experience, too, the soapland girls are the most kind. They work so hard at their jobs, and when they leave their store, they ask only to be treated with the same respect as anyone else. There’s actually a lot of gigolos living together with soapland girls. The Yoshiwara neighborhood is famous for soaplands, as is Kabukicho. But I have to admit, Kabukicho’s quality is no match for Yoshiwara’s. Once they start dating, she’ll generally say something like, “Whatever you do, please don’t go to soapland!” Even though she’s touching so many unknown men daily, she’s jealous of her boyfriend going there! It appears to be a mutual antagonism between soap ladies.

I’m afraid that women who have emotionless sex on a daily basis will demand real affection from their partners, much more than regular girls. “I’m giving you all my love, so you can love only me in return!” is their true feeling. Therefore, if they’re living with a guy, they don’t really demand physical love from him so much. They just want to be together with him. So, compared to everyday girls, soapland girls will work much harder to win his heart. But sometimes, their kindness goes too far, and becomes obsession.

Mr. Ryou, too, had a customer who worked at soapland. They wound up moving in together, but she was very old-fashioned. She would meekly do everything to please her man. She was very popular at her job, too, and made quite a good living. But she was also quite a lonely, clingy girl. First, she would not forgive Ryou for staying out after work. “Come straight home, ok?” she’d request, with a pleading face.

If he told her about a friend of his that went to soapland, she’d start crying and wail, “Please don’t ever go there yourself!” H e decided to bear with the stressful relationship , but. . . j ust like a salariman, a gigolo wants to let his hair down and relax a bit after work. Especially with a stressful job like ours, where we deal with people all day long!

One day, without telling his girl in advance, Ryou stayed out all night. He’d drunk quite a bit of alcohol , so he forgot to call her too! Now, Ryou was a huge baseball fan, and had his own team. On his days off, he’d always be enjoying a good game. But when he came home after his night of drinking, he found that his favorite glove and spikes were in the trash bin! As you expect, he snapped! He broke up with her right there . Being kindhearted is a great thing, but you don’t want to bind up your partner! Even if your man is not a professional gigolo, it’ll lead to a breakdown.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER FOUR: you shouldn’t bind your man with too many restrictions. If you mistake clinginess for affection, he’ll soon find he can’t even breathe, and he’ll escape!

THE GIRL THAT SPENT $100,000 AND THEN FLEW AWAY

Pick up a newspaper and you’ll find many stories of people ruined by money troubles. At my club, too, there are a lot of customers who lost all their money!

This one housewife, she married a company president, and he put her in charge of the family finances, didn’t he? Every day she spent around $2000 of that budget at my club! In her handbag she had a fat roll of bills, and when she’d get drunk, she’d flash it at the host to impress him. Every now and again, she’d ask for a certain host and, just like that, give him an allowance of $10,000. And not just a host she was really hot for ? any gigolo nearby might receive the money she scattered around! One day, she stopped to consult with me: “Boss, can I ask you something?” she said. “It’s terrible, but my husband seems to have caught on that our savings are dwindling.” Well, what did she think would happen, spending money like that! “What shall I ever do?” I had no answer. I never meant to let her spend such dirty money gotten through deception.

“Well, we’re in trouble now, aren’t we?” I replied. I made a very sympathetic face, but inside I thought, “Great! We’re going to lose one of our biggest customers.” It’s all too common : women with no sense of economics don’t last too long at a host club! They mistake their husband’s hard-earned money for their own, use it recklessly, and then get caught. How many cases of this have I seen where this was grounds for divorce? Really rich people know when to call it quits, because they are knowledgable about finances!

At our club, we have an “accounts receivable” system. If you are a fat customer, you can pay all your bills at the end of the month ? often this is around $100,000, isn’t it? Of course, the luxurious customer who arrives every time in a Mercedes Benz will wind up spending even more! On the other hand, some customers suddenly stop showing their face around the club come the end of the month. One time, I had a bad feeling about this, so I made her usual host call her. “Bad news, Boss. She flew away!” When we say “fly,” we mean someone with outstanding debts who goes into hiding . We tried telephoning her but it the number was no longer in service. Quickly I made him go to her house to collect the money. If a host can’t collect an outstanding debt, it comes out of his pay, so he has to furiously collect them! But in this case, he was already too late ? the customer had moved. In such an unlucky case, he has to give up. Hosts can also get ruined over money!

Now, a few weeks after she moved, the host ran up to me, calling, “Boss! Boss! Have you seen the newspaper?” Sure enough, there was a report of a woman who escaped with $100,000 in unpaid bills. “They arrested her for fraud!” he said. But it wasn’t only fraud: she had no less than seven prior convictions for shoplifting and luggage theft! As you would expect, I was furious that I had not been able to see through her cute facade back when she was a regular! Recently, a lady who was indiscriminately generous to the gigolos was in the TV news: she got arrested for embezzling $1,000,000 in cash. Women who play with dirty money are bound for trouble!

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER FIVE: no one likes a lady who’s using ill-gotten money! You should learn to distinguish right from wrong, and how to use money intelligently.

THE CUSTOMER WHOSE DAUGHTER BECAME A PROSTITUTE

When a woman doesn’t pay her debts, I have to directly confront her with a severe attitude. But, we aren’t Yakuza, so we can’t “Pluck the chicken” (force a person or business into bankruptcy and take all their assets by intimidation) buuuut. . . we sometimes can introduce them to the manager of a soapland, so they can make a living that way. To put it in a vulgar way, that kind of lady is said to be “sinking in the bath!” I can’t say anything bad about women who voluntarily choose that life, but I would never force a woman to work there. But there was this one case. . .

Mama was a regular customer of ours. She came in so often that she couldn’t pay her “accounts receivable.” We went to her house to collect, but she said, “I am unable to pay, so it’s a problem. Honestly, a s soon as I get money, I’ll give it to you,” she said with her head bowed. There was no way to collect. “I’m really very sorry, please wait a while. I’m begging you!” she said, and left. Two weeks later, we phoned her : “I’ll have the money in a bit. I made my daughter go work at the soapland!” was her casual reply . The family was only the mother and daughter, so how in the world could I know what they were thinking? She was selling her daughter’s body to pay back money that she herself pissed away ? I couldn’ t believe it!

In feudal times, sometimes poor farmers would, in desperation, sell their children’s bodies. Even in my childhood in the countryside, people often told stories of this. But, it seems it is still going on! And some of these people are customers of ours. Really, it makes your heart ache.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER SIX: don’t be under the thumb of your parents. If your family makes an unreasonable request, clearly turn them down.

THE HOST WHO WAS FORCIBLY MARRIED TO THE LOVER OF THE BIG-SHOT.

Our story begins with a customer, a young lady who became the “kept woman” of a wealthy married man, and many years passed in luxury.

Back in the old days, it was normal for a nobleman to have a concubine. After the war, it was still common for a rich man to have “Number one wife” and “number two wife.” And I’ve heard of cases where a man, his wife, and his lover live together. But nowadays this kind of high-quality man doesn’ t exist anymore, and besides, there are very few women left who aspire to be kept in this way. Today, such lovers are compelled to hide their shady existence at all times. There are people who receive money from their lover, and never have to work, but in the end it’s a lonely feeling, isn’t it? We have many customers in just this situation. Getting money from a rich man doesn’t satisfy them, so they come to the club in search of something that will!

(deeeyamm)

There’s a gigolo named Kazama. He, too, was a concubine for a while! As for the rich lady who chose him, well, let’s just call her “The lover of Japan’s national treasure.” ? he’s too much of a bigshot to use his real name. I’ll leave it to you to guess who I’m talking about! She’d been his mistress for 20 years, and he was getting really ancient. “He still won’t leave his wife for me! He won’t have kids and make a normal family with me!” she thought to herself. I guess that’s why she started dating Kazama. She was really crazy about him, wasn’t she? She’d come in every day, and give him such an allowance! Eventually she started feeling real love for him.

One day she came to the club and, without warning, suddenly said, “Kazama-chan! I made us be legally married! I wrote your name in my family register down at the courthouse!” Kazama stared at her dumbfounded with his mouth open. He’d broken out in a cold sweat, and eventually managed a nervous laugh.

“You’re joking?”

“What are you saying??? Of course I’m serious! It’s fine, darling, I did it all for you!”

“But, I never signed the documents with my official seal!”

“But that time I visited your house, I kind of borrowed your official seal. So that’s how I made our marriage officially legal. Thanks for that!” she goddamn said, placing his official seal on the table gently. If nothing else, you have to admire the woman’s guts!

Her obsession with Kazama revealed an insane part of her that she’d kept hidden until now. But it was only because she wanted a normal family so badly that she became obsessed. After that, this story gets even longer and more painful. Let’s just say he suffered a 10,000,000 annoyances at her hands. She was sturdy enough to pick up the pieces of her life after the inevitable breakup, I think. In the end, women have to be very sturdy to just survive!

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER SEVEN: Women have to have a robust, sturdy will to live. So, it’s important to get a partner who shares your pace of life.

AT MY CLUB, A HOUSEWIFE TURNS INTO THE PERSONIFICATION OF “WOMANHOOD”

Recently the gigolo-club-management law has changed, so we can no longer stay open all night. Therefore, we split the club into two parts. Part One is open from evening until 1 AM. Part two is open from five AM until around 10. Naturally, the main customers of Part Two are hostesses and prostitutes, who work all through the night and want to relax afterwards. But there’s some housewives there, too! They get up early to see their husband off, and then take their child to school, and then gallop off to the gigolos!

Housewives are always playing the role of the wife and mother, so naturally they demand a place where they can be a lady to their heart’s content. T o them, the host club is a pretty cool place, isn’t it? When they first come, they are very tentative and reserved, but as they get used to the club, they often suddenly explode with pent-up energy! In the end, performing the roles of wife and mother every single day must be a lot of stress.

At ORIGINAL LOVE, there’s a host named Junpei. This guy, he’s so popular with the housewives. One customer in particular picks him every time ? she’s thirty-one years old, has kids, and is married to the president of a design office, so she has plenty of money, doesn’t she? At one point, she was coming in almost every day. He asked her about it, and apparently her husband seldom came home anymore ? he’d stay out all night at some Ginza club.

“Well, h e’s the president of the company, so he probably has to entertain a lot of clients.”Junpei suggested. “Fuuu....” She muttered, while puffing on a cigarette and making a bitter face. “He’s found a good girl, I bet.” She had conclusive evidence of an affair, and in any case she wanted to confront him. As you can imagine, Junpei tried to stop her. Nevertheless, she fairly spat her reply, “He brought it on himself!”

She was really trying to win Junpei’s affection by lavishing money on him, and even started meeting him outside of the club. It appeared she was trying to get revenge on her husband. One time in a frenzy, she tried to take Junpei back to her own home! If they weren’t careful, her husband would catch them. But, that was kind of crazy. She really thought to pay her husband back by showing him her affair with a young and virile gigolo! Put another way, she wanted to hold a mirror up to his own behavior.

From Junpei’s point of view, it was easy to see how the housewife was using him. Naturally, he became quite cold to her - He was trying to do business, not get in a fight over a lover. Not long after, she came back to the club all full of bluster: “I divorced him!” B ut then after that, she stopped coming. Since she had already avenged herself, she had no reason to come to the club, it seems.

This is a case of someone using a host club incorrectly! The customer who has a family, should use the host club to lubricate the stress of family management, then return happily home to that family, and live happily ever after. She should come in, have some laughs as if she was a young lady again, play around for an appropriate time, then return home and take her children to kindergarten. Of course, she should exist harmoniously with her husband, too! We feel really good about serving this kind of customer.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 8: the more that you take care of your family, the more you’ll be able to enjoy the host club. Family life and your own playtime can be compatible and consistent!

THE GANGSTER’S WIFE THAT CHOSE THE YOUNG HOST

Kabukicho is Japan’s most infamous Yakuza neighborhood, so naturally there are a fair number of gangsters’ wives around, too. We call them Nee-san. I know I already wrote about this, but you really have to be careful of them! I tell the hosts this many times a day. But it’s difficult because they’re usually really gorgeous. I myself, time and time again, before I even knew it, I found myself on the brink of going somewhere with them! Especially the high-ranking gangster’s wives, they have a certain atmosphere about them. They look like Iwashita Shima, an actress who is famous for her gangster roles.

This one Neesan was a regular customer of NEW LOVE. She’d arrive with a full entourage of two black cars with tinted windows, accompanied by five or six young thugs! She would look really magnificent in her Japanese-style fashion; even more striking because she was surrounded by all these really stern guys! Deeeyammn! It was like a procession. Guys have a weakness for this kind of dangerous, yet dignified woman.

She’d always request our Number One, and then we’d show them to their secluded table in the back of the club and leave them alone. The young thugs would sit at a different table, drinking sake. When it was time, they’d pick her up and leave the same way they arrived. One time, she gave her host a present: a new BMW. Naturally, he knew this was going to be trouble. “Take it back!” he said. She didn’t especially want to have an affair with him, she explained. He was cute and he always took such good care of her, so she wanted to give him a little reward. But still, it would look bad, wouldn’t it, to receive this kind of present from this kind of lady. What was she thinking? You have to be careful not to cross the line. But on the other hand, for him to return her gift could be interpreted as disrespect, too! I could only stand on the sidelines and watch in suspense to see how she’d react.

Some younger hosts who can’t tell right from wrong wind up getting along far too well with their Yakuza-wife customers, and as for the person who has to deal with the consequences, I feel sorry for him! Because often that person is me! I have had on occasion to go to the gang’s headquarters to apologize. I’v e had my ass kicked too, BOKO BOKO style.

But, it’s easy to understand why a guy would fall for them, in the end.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER NINE: Men have a weakness for 毅然 women. (women who have a dauntless, resolute attitude). There are always men collected around the periphery of a lady who has this kind of captivating atmosphere.

THE LADY WHO HAD A LOT OF TRAUMAS.

I’m grateful to all the customers that bring the money to t he club, but there is a difference between real rich people, and those who are temporarily rich, but still lowbrows at heart. Just because they have money that week, they think they can come in and be a big-shot, but it’s easy to spot the pretenders.

We had this one customer Ms. M, right? The first time, she came in with two helpers, and only spent $100. All in all, a very ordinary customer. But next time, she came in alone, wearing such garish Western clothes. Armandi, Fendi, things like that , which she wanted to show off. Her spending was also much more luxurious! She’d fling around two ? or three-hundred dollar tips . And not just the host she chose , either , but other hosts that helped him entertain her. I was worried about her spending so much, so I asked her about it. “My husband is the president of a prominent real-estate concern,” she responded. “And he lets me use our savings however I want!” she goddamn continued, just as if a hundred women hadn’t wrecked their marriages in exactly this way.

As time went on, her spending got more and more wild and uncontrollable: $8,000 or even $10,000 bottles of Kamyo Crystal. Of course, as a businessman I was glad to have this business, but I knew it wouldn’t last. One day, as she was ordering another bottle, she said, “Hey, can you loan me some money?” Since she’d always paid her debts, I said, ok, sure. That was that time. The next time, she didn’t pay for anything!

I don’t like turning people down flat, so I let her continue one-sidedly borrowing money. But it was quickly turning into a large sum! I called her house, and her husband answered!!! When I explained the situation, his only reaction was, “Is that so? I understand.” After a few days, I met him at the Shinjuku Hilton. “I’m very sorry, but this is all the money I can pay you this time. I give you my word that I will repay all of it soon, though,” he said, politely handing over an envelope stuffed with cash. He looked very athletic, and later told me he used to be a rugby player. “She’s got a problem, doesn’t she?” he blurted out.

Her father is in the Yakuza, and her mother ran away when she was very young. Her father put her in the orphanage! Then,when she was four years old, she was sent to live with Kineya Ichimon, who was famous for performing traditional shamisen songs. She was lucky insofar as Kineya’s family was high-class, and respected in the community. She should have been happy, but it was not to be. From an early age, her stepfather would molest her. Her mother had flown the coop, and her real father, who was pretty angry at the mother , didn’t want anything to do with the child of his ex. So she had nowhere to turn when her stepfather would drag her into the bath-house behind the family mansion.

In any case, she was still a child and didn’t even know what was going on at first. Of course, her step-mother must have known about it, but in such an old-fashioned traditional family the wife would never directly confront the husband. And from that point, he abused her terribly. Besides rape, he also burned her arms with cigarettes. When she was in her second year of middle school, she was already pregnant by him and had to get an abortion. She couldn’t take it anymore , and ran away to Tokyo to begin working at a soapland. Of course that is very difficult job, but she couldn’t even consider returning home. She continued working there until her first marriage, to the illegitimate child of a famous movie star. But she never adapted to a housewife’s lifestyle, and she reverted back to working at soaplands.

I t was there that she met her current husband. From a normal person’s point of view, he did her a huge favor by marrying her. And again, at first their marriage was satisfactory. But by this point, she really was so damaged that she didn’t know how to lead a normal lifestyle. Cooking and cleaning were foreign concepts, to say nothing of washing clothes! The house was a mess ; she was spending money like crazy, buying rings and fur coats. Naturally, her husband was very concerned.

She would start crying like a baby, while apologizing, “I’m so sorry, so sorry!”. And yet, ten minutes later sh e was acting very nonchalant again. You could say she was an emotional roller coaster, being angry over nothing sometimes, and other times crying for no reason. It was like dealing with a child at those times. Her husband couldn’t stand idly by any longer, so he took her to a psychiatrist. But the psychiatrist had her popping ten kinds of pills every day! And she would vomit them all up when her husband wasn’t looking.

But out of all her bad habits, the most troubling to the husband was sex. She loved sex. Now, a woman who likes to fuck is not an especially bad thing, but she couldn’t go outside without picking up some strange men. Always walking up to them on the sidewalk, captivating them with her voice. It’s even possible that she had been searching for a partner at my club !

Her husband, having explained this far, let out a huge sigh. “Boss, I’m asking you, what should I do?” He turned to me with a bewildered expression, earnestly begging for my advice. What could I say? “To begin with, give me the rest of the money next time!” I said, and left.

But there’s lots more women with trauma, and life is very difficult for the men in their lives. My gigolos often come to me for a confidential talk when they get in trouble with such a lady. Sometimes a psychologist can fix the wounds of her heart, but mostly they revert back to their old ways. As for me, naturally I think the host club is the best place for such women to be healed!

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER TEN: anyone at all can suffer a wound to their heart. No one chooses to get their heart scarred, but a lady can still choose what kind of life to lead.

THE LADY WHO KEPT BUGGING HIM FOR FELLATIO

I have had ample time to see how women have transformed over the past thirty-three years. When I first started gigolo-ing, the undisputed rulers of the club were the Unfaithful Housewifes, which we called “YOROMEKIMADAMU” (the tottering madams). This lifestyle was quite fashionable once. Since I opened my own club, though, the yoromekimadamu have been decreasing, and instead the mizu shobai customers have been steadily increasing. Recently, at last, very normal office ladies and college girls have finally started coming in! Host clubs are finally seen as legitimate.

But over the years, more than the customers’ jobs have changed. It’s often said that the traditional Japanese lady is very formal and shy. Back in the day, even if a customer wanted to sex a host, she would restrain herself from asking for it. She’d patiently wait for the man to invite her to the sexing ? it was considered very ladylike. Even today, most good girls don’t try to hit on men. They know what behavior is required to perform their role. They hint; they flirt, and then they wait! That’s the problem facing PURAITO (polite) girls, they still have to wait for the guy to make the first move. So it’s not so different from traditional Japan.

But gradually, our young customers are becoming bolder . Perhaps “bold” is a bit of a euphemism, if I were being more direct I’d call it “cheap.” For example, getting drunk and taking off their pantyhose under the table. If it was just the pantyhose it would be fine, but some customers are going all-nude. NO matter how drunk you are, that is not right! “Knowing how to drink gracefully” is a requirement for the good girl. And then there are other customers who are recklessly stroking the gigolos. It’s fine if it’s just a pat on the chest. And I understand that sometimes alcohol is necessary for free communication. But if it results in willy-nilly groping of the cro t ch area, I think there’s a rule about that, isn’t there? It’s a host-club, not a groping-club.

One time, there was a customer that always requested the same host, who was pretty popular at that time. She whispered in his ear, “Hey, If I pay, will you make me to do the fellatio? In the toilet? Because you’ll get three hundred dollars?”

Naturally he politely declined, but he was a little worried that she misunderstood the nature of the club. She was like a dirty old man going to a legitimate massage parlor and demanding sex from the masseuse! When a customer is this desperate, the hosts tend to think she must be very unpopular. She can’t get a date on the outside, so she comes here and we make her feel glamorous. But when she starts thinking she is so glamorous that it is really our privilege to sleep with her, she’s mistaken!

Whether you’re a man or woman, when you get drunk you can expose your true nature. I should hope that the people who get drunk at my club all have a fascinating true nature to share!

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER ELEVEN: The good girl never parties so hard that she acts the goat. When she gets drunk, people find her notions fascinating rather than embarrassing.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE REQUIREMENTS FOR BEING LOVED BY A GIGOLO

MEN REQUEST THE HIGH-QUALITY LADIES

Out of all the customers of our club, who is the most popular with hosts, do you think? The beautiful girl? The good conversationalist? The kind lady? Consider this for a moment: which is it? Well, after all, it’s actually what we call “the hi -klass lady.” Ask anyone and he’ll tell you he likes class. Me too, I love a clasy lady. I guess it’s the fault of this mizushobai business, but we are attracted to ladies with a lot of class. Elegance, refinement, huge wads of cash money, call it what you will.

It’s difficult to describe a high-quality lady in terms of appearance. It’s more of an attitude that they learn from their parents. Her choice of words, her posture, her general demeanor, her whole manner is hi-class. It is especially easy to see in her drinking habits and table manners: they say you can tell someone’s sexual performance based on how they eat ? like an animal or like a human. It doesn’t mater how beautiful she is, if she eats like a slob, we’re can’t get excited about her. Similarly, even if she’s a very plain woman, if her table manners are elegant, men will come her way.

Sometimes women will get drunk and start laughing like GA- HA ?HA- HA ; like a dirty old man. Or sitting on the sofa with their knees apart. These kinds of women are AUTO (out!). You have to be prudent at all times, pay attention to your posture, and clothes, keep everything in place, or you’ll do something low-class. Class is not something you can turn off ? in fact, true class is only manifested if a lady keeps her composure even when things get rough. A classy lady will only express her real opinions or show her true face very rarely, which makes it that much more precious to us men. It is burning with sexiness! And of course this is not just hosts; average men feel the same way.

And as much as we dislike the vulgar women, I have to say that a vulgar woman pretending to be classy is the worst! The search for classiness is an eternal theme of womankind.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER TWELVE: be hi-class!

GORGEOUS MR. MATSUNO ’S ADVICE

Mr. Matsuno, the ex-husband of movie star Sawada Ayako, came to work at my club. As you are well aware, after his divorce he was struggling to support himself. When they first married, Ayako already had a child. She always played very glamorous, hip roles but off-screen she was a harried single mother. She had to work very hard to support her child. Matsuno was her manager at the time, and he was moved by her struggle, and wanted to help her, so he married her! But, after she married him, her life continued to center around her child and career. He still felt like an employee, rather than a partner. She was the star and he only had a supporting role. On top of that, she was a full Chinese zodiac calendar older than him. So they separated, didn’t they? It seems like there was no longer any love or trust between them. (ed. Note: Aida omits the part where he beat up his wife and caught a d.v. charge)

Matsuno naturally lost his manager’s job, and moreover was exiled from showbiz altogether. I was acquainted with him, and knew of his struggle, and so I could not stand idly by! He was really in dire financial straits, grasping at straws, you could say. That’s when I approached him with my job offer.

But there was a condition: he had to get plastic surgery.

Actually, I recommend that to all my hosts! If you want to be really successful in this field, looks are important. The baby boy born without any flaws is not going to have a problem, but most guys should get a little surgery. I can understand the objections, but in the end that’s the professional thing to do. If you’re not prepared to make sacrifices, you’ll never get anywhere in life. Matsuno heard my advice and decided to get the surgery. I booked him into Ootsuka clinic, which was very fashionable in those days, very hi-class, lots of advertisements. Considering how broke and outcast he was, Matsuno actually felt relieved to have the surgery ? it was like becoming a new man, wasn’t it? Even now, he’ll ask the customers, “Should I have had it done?” and they always say, “Absolutely!”

He likes to say, “The transformation was seventy percent mental!” That is to say, if you change your outward appearance, your way of thinking will also transform. He could go to work each day with a cheerful attitude. He wasn’t upset by little things anymore. At least that’s his experience, and it’s a persuasive one, isn’t it?

After that, he was able to get back in showbiz too, albeit in the role of “the butt of the jokes”. Originally he was a very serious man, but he was able to accept these undignified roles because he had more self-confidence now. Nowadays, in addition to being a host, he’s a singer, a pro wrestler, adult video actor ; he is a man of a thousand faces, you could say. His wrestling name is “gorgeous!”

He’ll even ask producers, “Do you have any work for me?” knowing that they’ll give him something undignified. That’s how dedicated he is to work. He’s a man who has seen the bottom of life, and resolved to never go there again. As for me, I never meant for his career to go so far! I had no motivation. But still, if the surgery helped him do things besides hosting, it was not a waste.

In any case, looks are not just important for hosts, you know! The person who still sticks to the opinion of, “Beauty is only skin deep,” can’t be very happy about their own appearance! If you young ladies are wondering if you should get surgery or not, come by my club and talk to Gorgeous!

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