WARNING* the following blog entry contains drunken spelling and grammattical errrors. It also has lots of profanity and general hatred of the human race. Also, fuck your mother. I am done with giving any kind of a shit about anything.

For example, today I went to the worst live show ever. $25 bucks. I paid hella money because my friend said there was live hip-hop. Now, I went to maybe 4 japanese hip-hop shows and they all sucked (sucked what? you ask. . . . . read on for the answer. . . . . . . . . . . . ) dicks, but like a bad boyfriend that you keep taking back no matter how many times he fucks around on you, the magical phrase “hip hop” made me come back one more time. I could not resist it. And I got served, motherfucker!!! i got everything i deserved for even SLIGHTLY beliving that hip-hop was still alive in '05. i actually bailed on a totally awesome dyke-bar to go here. that is why i am so fucking bitter. bulldaggers were all wanting to steal my white-man semen to insemanted their lesbian babies but i was like, OH NO, I HAVE TO GO SEE THE HIP-HOP SHOW, I KEEP IT REAL MOTHERFUCKER. oops. serves me right for being such a naiive bitch. Ok ? first, there was literally 2 hours of down-time between bands. Not 15 minutes, or 30 minutes, but 2 fuckng hours. All this for a fucking rap band that had nothing but a DAT tape to hook up. And not only that, but during these 2 hours, the dj played horrible, undanceable reggae. DO I EVEN NEED TO ARTICULATE THAT REGGAE IS PURE DOO-DOO??!"????

After what seemed an eternity in purgatory, he finally put on some beats. But all the fucking japanese kids were too shy to dance. they just stood there for 2 hours. The women were even worse thant he guys, because you KNOW they spend tlike 2 hours getting their makeup and outfits JUST PERFECT< and then they go to the show and not only don’t talk to any guys but they are scared to even dance PATHETIC HOSEBAGS. And they PAYED GOOD MONEY FOR THE OPPORTUNITY. These fucking japanese scaredy-cat motherfuckers!!!!! If they really knew even one percent about real hip-hop, they would have had hella gats and shot the DJ in the head. Or If they knew even five perce nt about hip-hop they would have danced their ass off without embarrassment. And if they even knew ten percent about real hip-hop they would have done freestyle rhyming cyphers over the beats the DJ was playing for 2 fucking hours, but in fact not even one minute did they rhyme. Fuck japanese fake-ass hip-hop posers!!! In the ass!!!!!

The ASS WHERE POO COMES OUT!!!!!!

I drank enough vodka to dance, and got hella funky in spite of everone being a tight-ass poser, but it made no difference. And finally finally the “band” started playing and they were the worst piece of shit ever. They did not acknowledge the audience in any way, or act like they were at all gratefull to have this opportuinty to get on stage. They did not smile or say hi or act happy that they got this gig instead of the 100 other bands that wanted this gig. Plus they rhymed over mega-slow beats like stoned-out hippies who were so pathetic they co8uld not even manage eye-contact with the people who paid like $25 to see them. Oh, I remembered the name of this band. THINK TANK. Now, picture dicks, like casterated disembodied dicks, lined up in a row from here to the moon. This is how many dicks they sucked. Seriously, they sucked that many dicks.

AND THAT IS NOT A SMALL AMOUNT OF DICKS!!!

The club should have paid ME money to go there, because I was a better dancer than all the self-conscious, too-cool, fraidy-cat, non-funky motherfuckers, and I was the best MC there too. Fuck!!! Why should I have to pay my money?? Fuck that. I could have spent less money and gone to a gay club right next to the dyke bar, where all the homos were dancing their ass off and everyone got some chinko!!

The kids here are totally weak and have no fucking clue about real hip-hop, and yet, come next week, they will all be bragging to their lame-ass friends, “yeah, I went to this totally Underground Hip-Hop show, I am so cool, don’t you wish you were me??!?” status-concious pretentious assholes!!

I straight-up told one of those non-dancing, sexy-outfit-wearing bitches, “yo, I don’t even want a blowjob off of any of y’all, let alone sex. Yall can’t dance and can’t emcee, and what the fuck are you even doing here??” she was all tucking her ear into her shoulder like, “I CAN’T HEARRRR YOU.” Like I was trying to hit on her but she was denying me. “EXCUSE ME BITCH, IN YOUR DREAMS. Sorry, but you have nothing that I want. You are insecure, scared to talk to guys, and haven't even shot the show promoters in the head ONCE. In short, you are typical Japanese bitches and I would rather beat off for the rest of my life than come near your hoo-hoo with a ten foot pole.” Honestly I didn’t actually say any of that last one, because . . . how the fuck do you say HOO - HOO in japanese?? this is question for the ages. but it is 5:46 in the AM and i am hungover as fuck, so i can not answer this now. what the fuck, even Plato and Aristolee and Descartes could not translate HOO HOO into japanese, who am I to even try??? i am not so proud, motherfucker.

Speaking of hoo-hoos, i have been here 2 years and never ONCE gone to Roppongi bars to get some. Clapped-out Navy groupies might be the only scam in this whole town that i have NOT fallen for. but i am done being a sucker. I am officially through with even trying to have fun in this city. from here on out, my blog will have nothing but the most negative, most playa hating , most bitter bile , spleen-venting hatred of any site yall ever seen. Plus drunken mis-spellings. Fuck it. I fucking hate tokyo and if my website can persuade you to NOT take a vacation to tokkyo I consider it a victory.

yee-haw, i am straight-up BURZUM from now. no-mosh, no-trend, no-core, no-friends . if you even know what the fuck i am talking about, you are a total nerd. Furthermore . . .

OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Japanese language page

Tokyo Damage Report current page. Weird Japanese subcultures.

Tokyo Damage Report archive: underground, punk, cosplay, hentai show reviews

Tokyo live show schedule: Japan punk, rockabilly, gothic, visual, and noise

Tokyo Underground travel guide. punk, hentai, otaku, Shibuya, Kouenji, Shinjuku, and Akihabara.

Hello Damage - the main site. mp3s, photos, travel reports, rants, satire, humor, Japan...