TOKYO DAMAGE REPORT: japan, punk, hentai, engrish, goth, robot, kogal, otaku, shibuya, harajuku, schultz, fetchi, etc.

SATURDAY 17 -- MIYAKO

Shit was crazyeeee boyee. Got up early, did one bike-lap around the lake, . then train to um morioka. When I transfer I totally left my phone on the train. Luckily I realize it and run back onto the train and find it at the last possible second --totally wedged between two chairs under the seat coushions, totally hiding as much as possible. Picture me barging on totally sweat-faced and pawing at the buttocks of the grandpa sitting in my former seat, yelling “forgotten thing excuse me forgotten thing excuse me!”

Next I want to go to the town of Miyako. Like a smart guy, I phone ahead and get 2 hotels that say “sorry full” and straight hang up on a hobbit! THEN I phone the tourist beaurau which does not even answer. Stupidly I persevere, and after riding for 2 hours on THE LOUDEST, STINKIEST, SLOWEST TRAIN I HAVE EVER FUCKING RIDDEN, a total greyhound bus of a mess, I finally get to miyako, only to find out from the tourist booth lady that it is the middle of a 3 day weekend plus um oh yeah, fall festival, so all the hotels are sold out . well IF YOU ONLY WOULDA TOLD ME THAT WHEN I PHONED YOU 2 HOURS AGO IT WOULD HAVE SAVED ME THE FUCKING TRIP WOULD IT NOT HAVE?? anyway the beleagured tourist-help-desk ladies find me a youth hostel, and presently I also locate some red-hot burn-your-ass-off ramen which is just boss.

The festival (the Miyako Fall Hand-Dance Festival to be precise) is kind of lame because the dancers are all the most un-motivated, no-rehearsal-attending slagbags ever. But the drummers more than make up for it by beating out taiko rhythms like b00-yAA. Lots of floats in the shape of boats. I ask a old lady why the theme is boats, and she says, “well, we are a harbor city.” Which really does not explain anything, because for crying out loud they have boats in the spring summer and winter too, don’t they? But in the end it is fun because this is my first exposure to Japanese hick culture. There was even hick gothic lolitas for no reason. Seems like everyone here is either in high school or in their 60s. I guess most of the school-grads escape to big cities, which makes me feel kind of sorry for the parents being stuck in a dying town.