DATABASE of Hello Kitty conspiracy links!!

 

and now, i'm pleased to present, the results of an exhaustive and dangerous and worldwide and stuff investigation..... many operatives were lost in the field, good men and true DIED to bring you this information....

 

this isn't like your everyday 'HA HA, WOUDLN'T IT BE FUNNY IF SHE WAS, LIKE EIVIL? LOL!!! :)" In fact, most of these people seem pretty serious about their conspiracies. which is what makes it amazing.

Religious conspiracy. Very serious (if not very scholarly) rant by catholic outraged by kitty. Pretty sure not joking.

hello kitty as anti-muslim and anti-communist propaganda used to prop up unstable regiemes in southeast asia

rant about kitty and cultural hegemony. It's clear he's not joking in a normal sense: He's not like'ha ha, wouldn't it be like totally hilarious if she were evil?LOL!!'. but it's NOT clear if he's actually insane, or serious, or sane-and-making-fun-of-academic-theory-people. the whole rant is written in this totally dense academic theory-speak, so it's IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL if he's wrong or just completely insane.

Fierce Kitty Near-Future Orwellian Dystopia rant by a guy with excellent taste in music:

excellent 'mathematical proof that hello kitty is evil'

one of several "what happened to her mouth?" conspiracy pages. both conspiratorial and philosophical about Miss Kitty... you have to sort of hunt for the rest of the pages.

massive and totally harrowing rant about Kitty and genocide:

sort of dopey office humor

archive of some of the best posts from some old usenet forum called - get this - ALT.SEX.HELL0-KITTY

and another archive of same.... ok, these people ARE just joking and ROTFL and junk. . . .but just the fact that there WAS a 'alt.sex.hello-kitty' is pretty amazing in itself.

not only is the following link off-topic, but I LIFTED IT DIRECTLY FROM ANOTHER WEBSITE.
"Characters from Hello Kitty walk visitors through questions like "Which mushroom is poisonous?" to reveal how stressed you are and how you handle it at the Hello Kitty Psychological Test. What possessed the folks at Sanrio to branch off into psychology is a mystery, but maybe those little girls carrying pink plastic umbrellas and lime green toothbrush holders are showing signs of anxiety."

i'm putting it in with the consnpiracy theories simply because, um. . .IT'S REAL! and, Christ, it could provide ample evidence for most of the theories!!

let's not forget Hello stalin

and finally, the COUP DE GRACE: just go here:

anyway, i hope you enjoyed it.

AND if you know any other conspiracy theories, about any sanrio character except Batz Maru, please email me so i can keep my database up to date!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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