Tokyo Damage Report

new KANJI DAMAGE in full effect.

February 02nd, 2010 | Category: kanjidamage

For about 5 years I’ve been working on a revolutionary new approach to studying kanji; the "TEACH YOURSELF KANJI VIA YO MAMA JOKES" method, aka KANJIDAMAGE.

Then about a year ago I put a rough draft online, but the entire dictionary was one giant .html page and basically crashed everyone’s computer.

So I hired a great programming company called Mobalean to turn my kanji dictionary into a ‘real’ website. After 6 months, we have a beta version ready to go. It’s not super graphic-designy but all the data and features are there.

This shit has been my main shit that  I work on, since I gave up doing music. Parts of it are funny or rude but I’m dead serious – this should be the main thing that is taught in the classroom.　

  It is motivated by my general hatred for all the normal teaching materials  that are written by foreigners but somehow copy all the mistakes that native Japanese make when teaching. . . .and my contempt for cheapo  "learn japanese fast" apps that all use the same fucking public-domain-ass data-set. 

Anyone who is studying Japanese, please check it out.

If you’re NOT studying, tell friends of yours that ARE studying! For god’s sake!　I have no idea for how to promote this damn thing!!!

OK!

Link to the NEW website; kanjidamage.com.

That’s right: kanjidamage.com.

Link to my kanjidamage ‘textbook’ which explains how to use the website, the Forbidden Secrets of Kanji, problems with how kanji is taught, and a picture of a nutsac getting kicked. If you read it a year ago, it’s hella different!!! Shorter, better, less spelling mistakes. Very professional and academic.

Go HERE to give us some feedback: I’m talking about stuff like

factual errors,

site navigation problems,

graphic design issues,

features you’d like to see,

questions about the method,

and especially : ideas for how to promote the site to nihongo students around the world,

and so on. 

 

Also, here is a video of my friend’s band.

10 comments

January random photos

January 27th, 2010 | Category: engrish, random pictures

 Below, a booth at the 2009 PREMIUM INCENTIVE EXPO:

 Below: a festival in Asagaya:

 

 Below: picture this guy singing, THE SUN WILL COME OUT, TOMORROWWWW….

Who needs a shower, when you can bathe IN FUZZY SUNBEAMS?

 

below: shredder. Note how there is a reverse button. What does that do? Un-shred? 

Talk about your least-profitable-applications-for-dude-who-discovered-how-to-reverse-entropy.

 Also, a close-up yields even more evidence of the genius behind the MS handy-shredder (check the icons)

 Don’t put your baby in here. I wonder what genius was responsible for the incident that led to THAT warning?

 

 Below, possibly the most Japanese thing ever:

 A vending machine that sells gauze-masks.

And look at how many different styles!

 

 Below: the ANTI-BLACK POWER poster, as I like to think of it.

 This was at a HOSPITAL.

Below, Kabukicho at its finest:

 Below: Tokyo’s most stingy bar – at Shimo-kitazawa.

 Below:  the beard style my  "pirates of the carribean"-loving friend calls "the Kraken."

 Below: my tour was a failure.

Finally, the setlist of psyche-punk-noise band ABRAHAM CROSS:

I love this because the song titles THEMSELVES read like a kind of haiku:

bad end cat fuck, I need!!

 

Don’t we all need, Abraham Cross, don’t we all?

11 comments

J-punk vs. Western: is it just fashion, or what???

January 23rd, 2010 | Category: Japanthropology, music theory

I’m not a huge fan of ‘political punk’ or the ‘good ol days’ of MRR, back when MDC got called out on the front cover of the magazine for (gasp!) taking a plane instead of a bus to one show. "Sell-outs!" That shit was never my deal.

 

But I think Western punks take it for granted that “fight the fuckin’ system, maaan” is kind of the foundation of hard-core.

I don’t think that is the case with Japanese punk, however. I think most of these Japanese guys never had any fundamental beliefs like SxE, vegan, anti-war, anti-corporation, etc.

 
First thing is you have to understand about  Japan and "punks-vs-society is" 転向 (tenkou). Tenkou literally means an abrupt 180-degree turn; an about-face. In contemporary society it means when you turn 22 or 23 you stop being a subculture person and turn into a housewife or full-time working man. This is true whether you are blue-collar or white-collar. In other words, society tolerates oddly-dressed young people with the implicit understanding that they’ll stop that nonsense when they turn 23. This tenkou system is breaking down a bit since the life-time employment system is ALSO  breaking down, but tenkou is still a real thing.

I can’t speak for scenes in Nagoya, Osaka, Sapporo, etc. but in Tokyo basically the difference between a real and fake punk occurs when they get to that age. if they keep being a freak after 23 then they basically are saying, "OK, I’ll work construction for the rest of my life."

 
and that sacrifice = being a real punk.
 
The sacrifice to one’s career prospects, being forever barred from mainstream society takes the place of the ideas and philosophies (i.e. straight edge, anti-globalization, anarchy, etc) that are the foundation of  western punk.  Which necessarily leads to a kohai / senpai system (seniors over juniors): the only way you can have credibility is by refusing to tenkou, getting kicked out of society, and that takes time.
 
This ‘tattoos instead of ideas’ system is really,really good for weeding out those twin bogeymen of the scene: posers and sell-outs. (because society won’t LET you be anything else than a ditch-digging scumbag if you burned your bridges by refusing to tenkou.).
 
But it’s not good for booking the best bands at a show, antagonizing the squares,  producing new styles of music, or – more important – attracting the energy , impertenance, and balls-out chimpanzee anarchy OF THE KIDZZZ. Serious , Try finding teens at shows here. Everyone is 30 or up. AT ALL AGES SHOWS.
I say this without anger : the scene is totally irrelevant to anything. 
 
The punks here sequester themselves in their own little corner and basically scede from society rather than challenging it. . There are no politics in the western sense.  Your politics is basically "Fuck society, I’d rather push a shovel forever than submit to your rules."  This sort of passive-aggression is – well – very typically, traditionally Japanese.
So, that’s why you got these expensive limited edition records (because only them and their friends was SUPPOSED to have the records) , no photos allowed (because only their friends are SUPPOSED to take pictures) , and shutting out most newer bands instead of supporting them, because “They aren’t real.”
 
I’m not saying that those western beliefs (sXe, anti-corporation, vegan, anti-homophobia, anti-rock-star etc.) are all cool, or even interesting. I’m just saying that in a scene where older bands have goals of changing society, the older bands will be more inclusive towards newer, younger bands, and try to include new people in ‘the scene’, if only to try to spread the word about the beliefs. And that never happened over here.  No incentive! Back in the day, if a punk band guy didn’t mingle with fans, he would (rightly or wrongly) be called a rock star. But Tokyo’s scene is more like rap than punk: As Ice Cube said, If you don’t know me, “get off my dick and tell your bitch to come here.”
At best shows are an expression of brotherhood, like "I love you, man! You guys are the reason my decision was worth it." At worst, it’s a bunch of angry grand-dads who literally are not allowed to go anywhere else on a Saturday, silently slogging through another long boring  crossed-arms evening.

So, in short, don’t think about it like "fashion" versus "real politics."  Only a Westerner would make that the particular line in the sand.

 
 
Making the choice to drop out, live a life of poverty, get tattoos and be exiled from most places is a real serious decision with real consequences. But – get this -  to get inked up and say "fuck tenkou!" is seen as deeply deeply personal, and so the idea of music changing other peoples’ points of view is considered totally irrelevant! 
 
I have never seen punks at marches or union events.  People don’t do the ole’ “This is a song about. . . .” intros,  nor do they hand out flyers for protests or call out politicians by name. They are still really fucking angry, though! But the battle is mostly internal – the fight to stay strong! to myself! for freedom! Fight everyday! Never give up! (as if a 30 year old dry-waller had Establishment types beating down his door trying to tempt him with offers of BMWs and cushy legal jobs –  But whatever)
On one hand, I kind of get it: if Mr. So-and-So grew up in a poor family and was raised on The Streetz, running with gangs and shit, it makes sense he’d try to find the hardest ,heaviest music that he could, and go crazy at shows. But on the other hand, if there’s no revolutionary beliefs or goals behind the music, then how is Mr. So-and-So different from his dad, who also grew up in the ‘hood? And if he’s basically his dad, what’s he doing playing this crazy punk rock music? Why not play dad music? That is why I never liked Boston Hardcore, but that’s another story.
 
I guess that’s it: I’m not mad because I can’t become this big-shot scene guy, I’m just mad because I’ll never know how everyone is different from his dad.

 

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