Tokyo Damage Report



Against all logic and reason, I checked out my enemy’s homepage and to my delight it’s much stupider than before. She’s discovered politics,and is on some anti-sexist-guy diatribes.

I’ve read some really good anti-sexist-guy diatribes in my time. But this particular blogger is no Valerie Solanas or Mary Daly. Heck, she’s not even BBCM. In fact, her diatribes sound suspiciously like the Asian Woman version of the Straight Guy who thinks all the homos and queers are checking out his package and coming on to him. And you just want to tell Straight Guy, "dude, those queers are NOT checking you out. You’re ugly, and besides aren’t you just a little too preoccupied with them for someone who’s not into that scene?"

And that’s exactly what I’d tell her to her face if I were still in California, which thank god I’m not.

In fact, I think it’s time we made a word to describe asian-american women who yell ‘pervert!’ for fake reasons. Certain women are so goofy-looking or have such neurotic, unappealing personalities that their Azn Brothers prefer to keep the relationships strictly at a brother level. If you know what i’m talking about. Non-asian guys who can objectively compare them to other women also run screaming. So the only guys who will ever ask out these girls . . . are guys who are just 100% like, "hey, my little lotus blossom, wanna come back to my place and do origami.. .WITH MY PANTS??’.

Since these women only get the most extreme of the fetish guys, they get a totally distorted view of the male species: they think ALL guys are like that.

. What they SAY is, ‘ew, asian-lovers are so gross!’ but what they MEAN is, ‘dude!! Why won’t anyone remotely cool or cute ever ask me out????’

that’s the true root of their anger but rather than look in the mirror for the answer, they lash out at the only guys who might possibly like them.

So we need a word for this foolishness. Honestly it doesn’t matter what the word even is, just so long as you can hurl it at them as a cool exit line, leaving them to fume. So, I vote for calling them ‘crom-diddlers’. As in,

WOMAN: ‘the next guy who asks me if I will ‘love him long time’ is going to get a boot up his stupid ass!’

MAN OR MAYBE COOL OTHER WOMAN OR SOMETHING: ‘tell the truth-no guy has ever asked you that, because he’s busy hitting on every other girl in the room but you. Also, you are a crom diddler and smell.’

Ok, so that’s not the best name but you get the idea.

Anyone with more better name-ideas can just post them to the forum, and it will turn into this huge waste of time I mean fabulous contest.


postscript: my friend asked me "Why don’t you post her URL?" i said,

naw. she’s kind of sad, plus she’s not political anymore. but my point still stands. crom-diddlers are wack.

but still check this out: i’m sitting at this bar. she walks up, interrupting my deep thoughts, accuses me of stalking her to the bar even though she arrived AFTER me, demands to know why i’m at an asian event, and then i say, ‘hold on, it takes me a while to get into conversation mode’ to which she says, ‘oh i have no intention of having a conversation with you. i just wanted to say hi. because i’m a good person. I’M A GOOD PERSON!!(yelling)’ and runs off. total elapsed time : 20 seconds.

what the hell??

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