Tokyo Damage Report

Shibuya scouts

DATE: Friday june 27


SOUNDTRACK: "go to sleep, little baby" – O Brother Soundtrack


Then – having nowhere else to go – I decided to go to Shibuya, figuring it would be pretty ridiculous on a Friday night. (Shibuya is sort of like a giant shopping mall for spoiled youngsters, if you can imagine a shopping mall with lots of prostitutes and live crabs)

Shibuya is a weird study in excess, greed, materialism and poverty, all shoved side by side because of the insane overcrowding. . .

For instance, there’s this homeless guy with a designer Italian shopping bag . . . full of recyclables.

And on the giant outdoor TV screens, an ad raising awareness of Third World child sexual exploitation comes on between ads for charlies’ angels and animated penguins.

The best guy – he’s got blonde mullet extensions. He couldn’t WAIT to get that mullet. PLUS he’s got what appears to be a GUCCI FANNY PACK. Yes. Yes. This I like.

There’s the ‘scramble’ of course – the intersection the size of a football field, where a green light unleashes a TIDAL WAVE of people, 200 feet wide, all crossing the street at the same time. It’s amazing to watch!

And there’s the SCOUT-O BOYS : These black-suited, bleached-mullet-having, tanned-leathery-skin-wearing pimps who troll the subway stations looking for women to recruit for various naked endeavors. Apparently they get paid a commission for each woman who winds up hopelessly corrupted! Despite the crowds, the Shibuya scout-o boys don’t seem to be doing much tonight. I guess this must be a tough area for them : "Excuse me miss, . . what? You’re already a hooker? And she’s already a hooker. Her too. What about. . . no, she’s a hoe. And her. And her. . . shit, we’re never going to make any money tonight!!"


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