I noticed that JAPANESE PUNKS HAVE THE MOST FESTOONED BUTTS OF ANYONE EVER. Like a middle-aged man. . . as the hair has gotten smaller, the butts have gotten bigger.
Consider how many little doodads dangle from the cellphone of a stereotypical schoolgirl. Then multiply that by ten, and turn the cellphone into a denim-and-leather butt, and you have a punk. Today’s punks have not just wallet chains and cigarettes in their behinds, but so much booty fashion I had to make a whole glossary (how did I conduct this research? I’ll leave the actual process of asking people about their butts to your imagination.)
OCTOBER 5 @ WALL
TOKYO PUNK BUTT GLOSSARY:
Shiriate shiji (bum-flap)- the sort of barbarian-looking loincloth that hangs from the butt. It’s not just for crusties in Japan. . .
Waisutu baggu ("waist bag") a much hipper name for the fanny pack. Not only is this considered hip by punks, but even trendy high fashion people wear them here. as if they weren’t the sweat-pants of the bag kingdom.
Pochi belto ("pocket belt") apparently this is only made by the Swedish army. But only worn by Japanese punkers who have already filled all the pockets of their leather jackets with cigarettes.
i forgot to ask what ‘ripped jeans’ IS in japanese. . ..
saturday september 6 2003
plus: there was only one PUNK BUTT tonight. but it was easily the punkest butt ever so even if you’re a new reader and don’t know about the PUNK BUTT collection, just never mind. don’t even go trying to find it, because this guy’s butt is the maximum punk that a butt can even get, before it just splits off into an entire separate punk.
i mean,2 spikey belts, low-rider alligator skin bumflap, leather man-purse, giant spikey tools, and a wallet chain where ‘CHAIN LINK= TINY SILVER SKULL’??? over leather pants of course. what’s the whistle for? i guess to call his aides and courtiers if his belt becomes to heavy to walk with. then they’ll carry the belt’s doodads like the bridesmaid carrys the bride’s wedding train. fucking ROCK.