Tokyo Damage Report

2004 Spring fashion predictions

ok, it’s a new year. . . this was SUPPOSED to be the time i made TDR bilingual, but since choosing ‘Japanese character set’ from the ‘page modify menu’ results in total gibberish. . . i can’t do it. what’s even more irritating: when i see a page on the internet that displays japanese text correctly. . and i check the source code, they’re using the SAME ‘japanese language’ page properties as i am!! advice please.

so instead, here are my TOKYO 2004 FASHION PREDICTIONS.

As you may have noticed if you are a regular reader, there was some amazing (=fucked) styles here last year. 2003 brought us mullet extensions, Gucci fanny packs, afro goths and Tiny Pants For Each Leg. also, 2003 brought us a homeless man with a Winnie the Pooh bag. and the bag said, "just be yourself!"

therefore, the bar is set VERY HIGH for this coming year. But i have consulted some very highly – placed sources in the fashion community, and i will bet my moustache that the following things happen in 04.

 

PREDICTION #1:

first cell phones had beepers installed.

then they had email.

then internet.

now, flagrantly pandering to the ladies, they offer "integrated cameras, video recorders, Eye-catching design, sensual ‘Xpress-on’ textile covers, up to 65,536-color TFT display, coordinated covers, soft pouch and wrist strap with matching wallpapers and screensavers"

… and it’s clear that female consumers (with their desire for nurturing and community and matching wrist straps and such), that have been driving all these technological advances.

in 2004, not content with "sensual textile covers", Nokia will finally go ‘all the way,’ :


 

PREDICTION #2 : Ayumi Hamasaki("Ayu" to her fans) has been Japan’s premier pop idol for around 8 years, in a field where most pop idols only last one album. How has she done it? by changing her ‘persona’ like an anime Madonna Ciccone. However, lately her sales have been slipping and she has been running out of personas. Leaving her with little choice but to become. . .

 

my powers of prediction are not what they used to be. i can’t tell exactly how she’ll wind up. maybe it will be more like this:

tomorrow: more predictions….


 

PREDICTION #3:

2003: Skirts way above the knee.

2004: Skirts way above the HEAD.

At that point, new ‘armwarmers’ will become all the rage.

 



PREDICTION #4: For male hookers, mullet extensions will be OUT.

what will be IN:

THE PLAYBOY YARMUKLE.

the latest random Western fashion to get ‘big in Japan’


 

PREDICTION #5:

2003- lots of dirty movies. lobster crushing, testicle kicking, and semen diets. Or, er, so i heard.

2004- porn giant Soft On Demand releases THE DIRTIEST MOVIE EVER MADE.

finally a movie so filthy every single frame is entirely pixilated. Totally unwatchable, so therefore it must be REALLY SEXY. Over 8,000,000,000 copies will be sold in spite of the fact that nobody has any idea what is happening.


 

 

PREDICTION#6:

for Shibuya b-boys :

OUT: tanning salons, cornrows, and Tupac tattoos.

IN:

ARMPIT AFROS.

 


PREDICTION #7:

for nasty schoolgirls in 2004…

OUT; dark tans, white lipstick, glued-on baggy socks .

IN: glued-on designer varicose veins, tooth filing.

 


 

PREDICTION# 8:

OUT: elegant gothic lolita.

IN:

 

once again, i’m not sure if my prediction is 100% on the money. maybe it won’t be gang guys turning all Lolita. maybe it will be more like Lolis turning gangster:

 

questions , comments? predictions of your own? feel free to post to the PREDICTION FORUM. Also a good place to read OTHER people’s predictions.

 

ok, that’s it for now. i’m going to korea on vacation.

see you guys on the 14th of january.

if anyone tries to email me and doesn’t get a response, this is why.

1 comment Tags: ,

1 Comment so far

  1. sundress April 4th, 2012 6:52 am

    Elegant Gothic Yakuza. I died.

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