Tokyo Damage Report

Archive for February, 2004

Hero-show @ Tokyo Dome

engrish of the day ; today: hero show at tokyo dome!! In the center of tokyo there is the tokyo dome amusement park. being japan, this park is only 100 feet on a side, but they hired MC ESCHER to be the architect so they could cram like 3 rollercoasters and a funhouse into that […]

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Gandalf-vs.-Balrog MSpaint rap battle

Whether you read the book or just watch the movie, you only see the start of the battle in the mines of moria– you never see just how Gandalf beats theBalrog. Given Tolkien’s legendary love of chronic and bitches, We figure it went something like this: Spread the venom Hide Sites

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  I’ll get the plot summary out of the way, because if you are currently alive, you’ve already seen this movie. Main guy is stuck in a subway station with some South Asian robots. Meanwhile, armies of high-tech black invaders are on their way to attack the low-tech but plucky rebel forces at their hideout. […]

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I mean, both subcultures have awful music, ridiculous clothes, no sense of humor, and a total commitment to avoiding politics. So why not hate them both equally?   1—Is it just that there were Goths at my high school, but no ravers, and therefore I'm simply too old to 'get' rave? Well, no. I'm too […]


review: MelGibson’s Jesus Movie

I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET…. .. But that’s not going to stop me from having an opinion of it. Basically I think it’s fucking rad. The principle of the thing. The movie itself…I don’t know. The movie isn’t even important at this point!! Who cares about the movie???This movie is just a sort of spiritual […]

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Iron Chef Rap

I don’t think that getting a major label deal should be based on if you were REALLY in jail, the number of times you have been shot, or how many tattoos you have. Nor how good you look in a video, whether you knew 2pac, or who makes your fucking beats. All that should matter […]

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  MD: So Fifty Cent, thanks for meeting with us. I know you’re real busy recording your new album. 50: no problem. I’m just excited about the whole scenario right now. I’m positive this is the best shit I ever did. MD: well, that’s what everyone’s been asking about. What’s Fifty going to drop next? […]

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baaad place: DAIKAN PLAZA

engrish of the day: GARGLE GUM (from korea)   So, after all the self-indulgent ranting of the past week, i feel that some pandering to my audience is in order. and what better way to pander than YET MORE PERVERSIONS??   OK, first of all are two video companies: LOVE AND BOOTS, and FOOT-CRUSH.COM. aside […]

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BAROK store in Kouenji

  Today, Motion Girl takes me to this ‘underground’ hipster store named BAROK. I feel like I’m right back in America-they’ve got all the cliche books: Research and Amok Dispatch, all the piercing and tattooing and serial killer paintings, and what really trips me out, authenticity-wise is: they even got the retro ‘tiki lounge’ music […]

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weird shit I have seen: 2003-2008

9/25 the Shinto shrine next to my house had a traditional festival last week. that’s right. traditional shinto hula. plus, here they call it ‘FOO-la’ august 7 speaking of ill things there’s no excuse for. . . all the designer brands here are EUROPEAN. Prada, Gucci, Louis Voutton, etc. aside from the hip hop guys, […]

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I hate my Japanese school.

  EXAMPLE SENTANCES   let’s talk about ‘renbun’ ("example sentences") for a moment. imagine you are a japanese person. you are learning english. your book will teach you about superlatives. such as good/better/best or big/bigger/biggest. the way the book teaches superlatives is, they will have ‘example sentences’ such as ‘this is the worst dinner.’ or […]

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  In a new twist to the ‘porn or not?’ phenomenon, this magazine is half-COSMOPOLITAIN, half-HUSTLER. They have interviews with successful hostesses, and layouts with whores, as if they are the latest fashion models!!! Also it’s got all the same information that you’d find in a ‘men’s magazine’ but with a totally different slant to […]

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