Tokyo Damage Report

411 magazine

i’ve written about japanese hip-hop dancing and fashion before.

but 411 is waaaaaay more um.

waaay more er, uh, back away slowly.


yes, it’s real.

why the fuck are these guys wearing Big Pun sized clothes?

i think they tried to look up ‘phat’ in their cell-phone dictionaries and wound up with a bad definition.

like, "not only are we fake black people– now we’re fake 500 pound black people."

for their next act these foolios are going to inject themselves with The Gout. "just keepin it real yo."

and why is the guy on the left all acting like he’s going to fight me? he’s all,

"watch out punk, i’ll kick your ass with my huge imaginary fat rolls."

plus, denver.

you know, the hard-ass hood of denver. with all its hard-ass rainbows. all you denver-ass niggas represent, yo!

plus, that shit is so big it’s not even a basketball jersey anymore. it’s like an APRON. he’s all like MC KISS THE COOK.


some kind of Scarlett O’Hara hoop-skirt thing going on?

i mean, originally the baggy clothes were so you could conceal guns and shit.

but if your shit is THAT baggy, you’d better have more than just guns.

If you’re wearing a tent like that, you’d better be coming with . . what?

like some 4 foot Kill Bill katanas or something.

better yet, like AN ENTIRE HERD OF NINJAS under there.

that would be awesome. just during the live show, all the ninjas just fuckin’ pour out of jersey.

sort of a clowns-in-a-little-car effect.

what’s even better is, these guys ARE TRYING TO BE THE FIRST GUYS.

yes these Vato Locos are all Japanese. from Nagoya, to be precise.

for some reason the fake La Eme bullshit is scary as fuck, but the equally fake Tupac guys look as macho as, well, Eminem.

BALANCE’s website is here.

to order their catalog of clothes go here:



what else do we have?

i can’t even tell if they’re joking anymore.

are they selling this in america too?

seriously, are they?

Pimpy Joe here runs a line of . . .Zoot Suits. he has one of the best rap-themed pages on the Japanese internet.

and again here.


other japan hip-hop related links:

female hiphop clothes:


lowrider bikes, Japanese style:


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