Tokyo Damage Report


for some reason, the Japanese Rap magazines (WOOFIN’, etc.) aren’t really funny. to get the REAL flavor of hip-hop culture in japan, you have to read the LOWRIDER magazines. They are TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL. Japanese b-boy fashion is quickly becoming as over the top as ko-gal fashion was 5 years ago. Just peep the fly pics yo:

I know plenty of Asian dudes who can look macho and masculine. The construction workers here look macho, even while wearing their Hammer Pants. . .and Yakuza guys are scary too. but WHY does THIS kind of macho posing look so totally hilarious and unconvincing? it’s not just because they’re imitating some foreign style. because japanese punk guys can swipe English punk fashion and look pretty burly. And i’m not clowning these guys because i hate rap, because i DON’T hate rap. (just check out my daily soundtracks!). . . .so again, WHY is this so hilarious??

someone, anyone, help me out. .. . email me please?


here’s another example of "if you’re really a thugged out dude, people are too scared to tell you the truth about your haircut."

fry girls.


but the best, most appealing, wonderfully absurd part of the magazines isn’t the fake black people, it’s the FAKE MEXICAN AMERICANS. i mean, you somehow knew Japan was full of fake black people, right? but i bet you weren’t ready for this Ese. . .

. . . or these vatos. . . .

. . . or for Breakdancing Ultraman. (i guess he’s the mascot of one of the lowrider shows, they have more tiny-ass pictures of him busting moves by some cars)

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