Tokyo Damage Report

‘system hardcore’ s/m dance party.

Tonight I went to SYSTEM HARDCORE. I’ve been to a lot of messed up events in Tokyo but this was really too much. It wasn’t the dominatrix putting out her cigarette in this guys mouth,

and it wasn’t the human-ass candleholder. . .

it wasn’t even the forced piercing or the relentless ass kicking. . .

What made this messed up was : IT WAS AN S AND M RAVE.

While I’m all in favor of hurting ravers, the concepts of ‘s/m’ and ‘rave’ do NOT possess a kind of ‘you got your peanut butter in my chocolate’ synergy. They are just WRONG together.

This woman was pretty much the epitome of the whole event:

This would make a good BEFORE and AFTER campaign for some kind of anger medication. . . . . BEFORE: "wow, groovy man, let’s take some ecstacy and feel the love!"

AFTER: "crawl, you worm!! Feel the pain!!!!!!!! AieeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

also notice how the guy is flashing the ‘peace sign’ at the rest of the ravers. this is exactly what’s wrong with this crossover.

In theory this was a ‘haloween party,’ but since most of these characters dress this way ALL THE TIME, the point was largely moot.

I, however, came in my Hello Kitty Battle Jammies, accompanied by the little Camoflauge Military Kitty, and introduced myself as ‘Kitty-chan no gunjin’ (kitty’s soldier).

The first event was a band named BAZOOKA. Sort of glam nu-metal. Anime Mohawks and vinyl pants and 5 string basses and THE SCARIEST GUITAR OF ALL TIME.

The guy’s name is Sato-san (mr. Sugar) and not only did he make the guitar, he made his own fangs (and kept them on the whole night!). this takes chutzpah in a country famously devoid of dental insurance.

The second event was Pierce Guy, taking volunteers from the audience.

The third event was S/M Afro Nurse Vs. Squealy Anorexic Who Acted Like A Little Girl The Whole Time Which Was Not Arousing Or Even Remotely Cool.

ok, here is a new kink for you: forcing a tranny who is queer as a 3000yen bill to lick booby. i like how it makes a masochist out of everyone involved. including YOU for even thinking about it.

I had to cover my hello kitty doll’s eyes when we got to this part. I was yelling , "minai!" (don’t look!)

After that it was just a lot of dancing.

Finally the fourth event: Mr. Pure, Ms. Inga, and a bunch of other dragqueens got on stage and molested anyone they could get their hands on. This was kind of amusing but they had nothing planned, they hadn’t put any effort into practicing a song or s/m routine. They just said, ‘put us on the bill, we’re dressed really cool.’ ‘oh, ok.’ Just being decadent for the sake of being decadent is not really that amazing.

After that, it was Dom Lady. First she sat on a human chair, then she made him stand in the corner like Little Jack Horner while she got mideval on his girlfriend.

The (yawn!) usual candle burning, flogging, and – for some reason –

forced vibrator-ing. I don’t know why placing a buzzing plastic egg in someone’s underpants is sadistic, but it’s almost required in any Japanese s/m performance. I guess the idea is if you pop the vibrator in the underpants at the start, your victim ‘has’ to enjoy all the subsequent pain, even if they can’t help themselves. Whatever, if you were a REAL masochist you wouldn’t need a damn vibrating egg. You can quote me on that.

In any context.

The s/m wasn’t that amazing or technical. It was sort of like, they were just kinky tourists: ‘hee hee, we’re so naughty and cutting edge, aren’t we? Decadent club kids always looking for new thrills since we’re so jaded. We’ve already done sex parties and costume parties, what will we do next? Oh, s/m, why not.’

I mean it was a fun party, and people were pretty nice, but still. . . not nearly enough ravers got hurt to be a proper s/m rave.


Which raises the important question : WHY DO I HATE RAVERS MORE THAN GOTHS??

I mean, both subcultures have awful music, ridiculous clothes, no sense of humor, and a total commitment to avoiding politics. So why not hate them both equally?


1—Is it just that there were Goths at my high school, but no ravers, and therefore I’m simply too old to ‘get’ rave? Well, no. I’m too old to get Powderpuff Girls. Rave, however, is just a disco ripoff, – the mirrored balls, the metronome beats, the decadence-for-the-sake-of-decadence, etc . And therefore I’m too YOUNG to get rave.

2—Plus, what’s up with people who are imitating the music of the ’70s all acting like they are from the future?? Plus this whole ‘THIS SUBCULTURE STARTED OVER 15 YEARS AGO YET WE STILL ACT LIKE WE’RE FUTURISTIC PEOPLE WHO ARE ALL ON SOME NEW SHIT’ attitude. Gotta hate that.

3—Or is it that Goth, for all its "no one understands me, I am a creature of the night" hoo-ha, at least shows SOME capacity for introspecton and alienation, whereas ravers are so one-dimensional and they’re all like, ‘fun is good! Wheeee. Let’s all dance and not think about anything ever.’

4—Plus, goth people have actual bands. Ravers seem to be convinced that a DJ is a band. DJs are all pumping their fists in the air, like "DUDE, CHECK IT OUT!! I TOTALLY PLAYED THAT RECORD!!! AWRIIIGHT!!! ALL BY MYSELF EVEN!!!" while ‘turntablist’ djs, despite their pretentious name, can be quite cool, the ‘DJ’ type of DJ is the worst kind of middleman- "I’ve installed myself here on the stage, the only way you can hear the music is by kissing my ass! You certainly can’t make your own! Give me drugs and girls now." I could go on in this vein for hours, but fortunately, a very good rant on this subject is here

5-while we’re on the subject , the drugs. Sure, Goths have an idiotic tendency to idolize heroin (it goes in your BLOOD!! Like a VAMPIRE!!), ravers are worse: "yeah man, you just take these pills and you can dance all night. You just become one with the music. Cmon, it’s really good stuff." When even the music’s defenders insist that you need to be bombed to tolerate it, it’s safe to say that the music has serious problems.

6—The sort of ‘nothing matters except me’ decadent sex-drugs-and-posing posturing seems really hollow, lowest common denominator stuff. Like they got together and said, ‘ok, we’re starting a new youth movment. How can we make sure it’s popular? Oh, sex. And, fun. Everyone likes sex and fun, right?’ Like, exactly what is so SUBCULTURAL about that? You’re just taking the 3 things that everyone wants, and all acting like you invented it. "oh, I can’t believe that yuppie jerk is all acting like a raver, he doesn’t know what it’s really about!! He’s not hip to the underground!". Translation: "that yuppie jerk likes dancing and feeling good and trying to score? Shocking!!"

7–the only original ("underground") things the rave overlords added to the sex and drugs and narccissm recipie was a bunch of little doodads ( plastic shoes FROM THE FUTURE!! Plastic pants FROM THE FUTURE!! Glow sticks!!) that you could spend your money on. Oh, plus a moronic "we are the vanguard!! We can bring about a new age of peace and love with enough drugs and glowsticks" philosophy.

8–Plus, at least you don’t hear Christian Death or Sisters of Mercy selling sneakers on TV. I swear to god, man, it took the Madison Avenue weasels like 30 years to co-opt rock music. . . . 30 years before you started hearing the Beatles’ songs on commercials. Whereas with rave, I was hearing techno music on commercials BEFORE rave took off in the U.S.

9–Plus, the guy who singlehandledly ‘invented’ u.s. raves, Michael Caruso, is a notorious drug dealer / murderer / police informant . I hear they’ve made a movie about this. There’s also several ‘true crime’ books about the 90s NYC dance scene that dig up the dirt on this wanna-be Mafioso. DISCO BLOODBATH being the one with the coolest name.

10 — I can count to 10 because I haven’t eroded massive portions of my brain with MDMA. How many ravers visit their friends in the hospital after they OD / get all dehydrated and go into shock / become retarded off drugs? Hey man, hospitals are sad. They really kill the vibe. Let’s go to a rave instead, it’s so much more fun!

It should also be noted that I have no idea if ravers actually say ‘man’ or not. I can’t be bothered to find out.

please, please don’t think I’m trying to defend goth here.

Like everyone else, I tend to see goth people as preposterous, self-obsessed, pretentious fanshion victims. Once glimpse of a surburban wanna-be Dracula waiting at the bus stop will tell you everything you need to know about the absurdity of this whole subculture.

it’s precisely because of the lameness of goth that it makes a good yardstick – if something is even worse than goth, it’s GOT TO be near the bottom of the cultural dustbin.

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