Tokyo Damage Report

text-only Engrish (couldn’t get the camera in time)

"engrish" t-shirts I have seen::::

 

‘thesis + antithesis = shitthesis’

 

picture of ghetto-blaster and text reading: THE MOST SOULED-OUT, BREAK-BEATEST PARTY!!

when it started raining I went and got my FRUITY UMBRELLA.

‘DUMBO PIRATE’ tshirt.

 

‘GOD AT WORK.’

 

t-shirt reading ,

"I’M WITH CELEBRITY—>"

 

‘einstein magic death!’

 

‘ATHLETIC EQUIPMENT: MY LASER MODE’,

 

‘mars: her personal attitude"

 

‘autonomous and popular (broken and twisted)’


‘the NOMADIC FIGHTING SOCIETY support team’

 

"STILL LOOKING FOR ANOTHER WING" in cursive.

 

a sports jersy (#49)… apparently the person plays for a team called ‘TIME AND INFINITY’

 

‘A TRIUMPHANT RETURN IN THE ATTIC’

 

"KLEENEX MOLECULE. . . 100 percent pure"


the new trendy shirts for women have a logo that’s a combination of the ‘playboy bunny’ and the ‘chanel number 5′ perfume symbol. which sums up Shinjuku fashion in a nutshell, doesn’t it?

t-shirt with the PIZZA HUT logo on it, but instead it says ‘POLY HAT’

‘SOUND OF ILIN: COMEON EVERY BEAT BOX!’ . . .

 

t-shirt with the ‘Delmonte’ logo, but it reads ‘DEVIL MAN’

‘DON’T BE A PHOTOCHEMICAL LEFTOVER’

in big, gory letters

 

 

rather large matronly lady wearing an ample t-shirt reading

‘NICE CATCH! VISUAL WONDERLAND, FUTURESTYLE. . . . WITH BEAUTY MODE!’

 

‘BIGGER MARCHER FOLLOWER.’

t-shirt with can of spam on the front, except the letters have been changed to read ‘NASP’. The back just has the word ‘GLUTTONY’ in cursive.

guy with sunglasses indoors. . .which wouldn’t be dumb enough to be noteworthy. . . except they were pink ray-bans!! And his baseball cap said ‘SKULLSHIT’

 

guy outside train station handing out free promotional Kleenex, wearing shirt that reads ‘EXPENSIVE SHIT’, and the lettering is the same lettering from the movie SHAFT.

 

a t-shirt looking like the RUN-DMC shirt, except it reads ‘RUD-DER’.

Also a pink and yellow tye-dyed t-shirt that reads ‘punk’s not de@d!’ actually that’s not engrish. It is pretty messed up though.

 

‘DO YOU EVER WONDER WHAT YOUR FAVORITE STARS WERE CHILDREN?’

 

 

Plus another shirt asking the eternal question, ‘ARE YOU JERK?’

 

a tshirt reading ‘PRIMAL FASHION SCHOOL’ complete with a nice drawing of a Campanile!

‘EVERYONE HAS HUNDLES. . . in life he must jump"

t-shirt reading ‘hippies are for assholes’

did i make that up? maybe.

 


‘FLOOR TERROR’

:LEATHER JACKET reading ‘fuck america’, but it’s in English!!

ha ha, you are still on our jock.

 

"RNA L.A.M.E. foundation"

 

‘THURSDAY THEME
"THE GLOVE"
absolute quality goods
"island"’

 


 

more band names . .

‘the shithead sisters 666′

Lucy Via Cloudy

Guilty Crow

 

BAND NAME OF THE DAY: ‘ok homeless’

 

BREAKDANCING CREW OF THE DAY: N-TRANCE FISH


 

ENGRISH OF THE DAY: Japanese woman with t-shirt in huge bold letters reading simply YELLOW. Also her jeans had the word ‘BOOTY’ embroidered on, well, the booty. IN SEQUINS.

 

 

The wastebasket in my room reads:

ARBEST WARE. . . WITTY TRASH CAN… the eco green dustbox is bound to make your room the most WOUDERFUL!

 

jazz band’s kick drum head reads. . . not cannabis or even ‘can of piss’ but CANOPUS.

 

 


 

 

sweatpants with ‘MY FAVORITE TIARA’ silkscreened on the fanny


Regular-looking Japanese guy wearing t-shirt reading BLACK POWER.

 

 

 

all the bouncers at the club wear shirts proclaiming ‘MAD STALIN’

 

ENGRISH OF THE DAY: a breakdancing crew is called HYPNOTIC ZOMBIE HEADS

 

tshirt reading "dischord sell out ass, over tearless seas!" with big ‘no’ symbol over it

 

toy magazine advertising MISFITS ROCK DOLLS! GROW IN THE DARK!


ENGRISH OF THE DAY: would you believe, a ‘panty fetish’ magazine called

PANTSTOPIA?


 

 

EXPLOSION SACK!

. . . FALSIES ON HEAT. . . .

. . . elf gravity . ..

(yes, these are all band names. .)


t-shirt reading"URINE TO EARTH – I’M BACK!"
(Actually that’s not a real engrish t shirt, but I bet I had you fooled. ..)

 

 


 

 

Here’s a slightly alarming list of arcade games you might not have played before:

ALPINE SURFER
POWER SHOVEL DX
ARMADILLO RACING
DIRT DASH
GUITAR FREAKS
SILENT SCORP II
SOUL CALIBUR
DOPING PANDA
REAL PUNCHER
GET BASS
UFO PUSHER (twin)
DREAM KITCHEN
LUCKY HOLDER
EXCITING BOAT RACE
SOLOR ASSOULT
UNSCANDAL
VURTUAL ON 2

Actually, two of those are band names. Guess which ones.


 

from S-CAWAII magazine. ..a t-shirt reading ’LEAK SECRET’

Another lady wearing playboy bikini, carrying a purse with large pop art letters which read

"PUNTER MAGNETIC (intoxicating charm)

though not for this reason!!!"

and some model wearing high-fashion boots and designer pants with . . .a shirt with osama, Hussein, and bush inside a giant heart??

 

and finally, an American ‘gas station attendant’ shirt, with a name-patch that simpmly reads ‘Gay’.


please visit the COMPLETE TOKYO DAMAGE REPORT ENGRISH ARCHIVE!

 

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