Tokyo Damage Report

Japan trip 4: biei


Go to Biei. Rent a bike and just burn ass all over the place. Damned if it did not look exactly like northern california’s rolling hills and little farms. Also the weather was just crazy. The much-talked-about taiphoon never made it this far north. . . but instead we get fast-alternating huge pitch dark clouds and stark blue skies all day.

also, i did some panorama photos that are too big for this page.

click here to see the beautiful biei panorama!

and another one!!

but even here the out-of-control-construction continues. consider this tiny-ass stream in the middle of nowhere, that apparently had to be COMPLETELY ENCASED IN CONCRETE. Not only are the sides walled in, but the bottom is nothing but bags of concrete laid in a staircase-formation. that is why the river looks like a staircase. as sculpture it is amazing, but as "erosion control". . . umm. . ..

awesome huge machine!! that i assume turns into some kind of robot which fights evil. or causes evil. or something.

and what would Hokkaido be without scicne apparattuses just erupting out of a field??


Keep biking for over 5 hours . . . Then go to the other side of town to check out the Celebrity Trees.

This is a whole phenomenon that I am happy to bring to your attention. On the tourist map there are all these tree icons in the hills with names like “tree of parents and child” or “tree of seven stars.” I asked the tourist-booth lady what is up? And she said, “oh those trees are famous because they are the backdrop in commercials.” I thought, “see, everytime I forget why the hell I bothered to come here, something lke this happens nad makes me go, oh yeah, this is the best country ever.” Fucking celebrity trees. Of course I had to go see them one and all. The truly hilarious/depressing thing was, I was not the only one. Like , 2 pm on a foggy weekday afternoon and I pull up and there are like 4 people already there just checking out the celebrity tree. Plus they have their own street signs.

does tom cruise have his own street sign?? I didn’t think so. Jesus, man. Celebrity trees. Even the pop group Puffy has their own damn trees!! The most popular tree was seven stars. That damn fool had his own gift shop and just hella fools snapping away.

ok, here is the CELEBRITY TREE QUIZ. just to help you foreign devils understand this phenomenon.







ANSWER — C. tree number C is still waiting tables.

TREE A — parents and child

TREE B — the tree of philosophy (so called because it seems to be leaning at a Rodin’s Thinker angle) (they say)

TREE D – the Seven Stars Tree.

TREE E – the Puffy Amy Yumi tree.

check this out. . .seven stars tree is the bomb. here is the gift shop (in the corner) while all these married couples are going to take their picture with it.

tour bus comes!

more people coming to the parents and child tree at god damn 2 pm on a cloudy weekday.

then i went and got this insane salad.


Came back and went to the pension. Most pension-owners keep a rigid line between their family life and their work life, but not here. This shit was like “wacky sitcom family.” The mom was showing me my room, while loud videogame music played, a wiener dog barked and rattled its chain nonstop, and the adult son was disassembling old pachinko machines in the living room.

oh, plus… huge giantific moth which could not fly but just flopped around in circles on the ground. in daylight, which is also weird for moths. i figure — brain-eating parasite!


japan page 1 — touya

japan page 2 —shikotsuko

japan page 3 — shirogane

japan page 4 – biei

japan page 5 – asahidake

japan page 6- tazawa lake and nyuto onsen

japan page 7 – miyako festival

japan page 7 and a half – miyako beach

japan page 8 – kinkasan

japan page 9 – osaka

japan page 10 – texture photos, can you guess what they are of?

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