Tokyo Damage Report

2005 Henrio

  クリスマスに際して、自分の会社を創設しました! ヘンりお という キャラクタグッズ 会社をつくりました。 プレゼンド にとして、 パロディ を 11匹 ご紹介します。 変リオ の 世界 に 行きましょうか?

あなたは本物キャラクタを知らなっかたら、 絵をクリックしてください。 このページの絵が全部其々本物キャラクタのページにリンクしている。  

.so i figured that christmas, the height of the consumer season, would be the perfect time to launch my new series of toys! As a sort of fucked up present to readers. I’m sure you are all familiar with Sanrio, makers of hello kitty and friends (if not also familiar with my unhealthy obsession with it).

So, after due consultation with my copyright specialists (i.e. a bottle of Baileys and the site www.lawsuitsrabitch.biz) . . . .ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the company called HENRIO.

As it sucks to explain jokes, I’m gonna set this page up so if you click on the picture, it’ll link to the original character’s homepage.

Henrio started like 2 years ago with this guy —

looking suspiciously similar to sanrio’s frog "kero kero kerroppi", but if you recall, his name was gero gero gerroppi (gero being Japanese slang for something or other. perhaps the picture provides a clue!)

 

 

 

AYANKEY was a horrible idea to begin with — they let a one-hit wonder Idol-singer called AYA AYA design a character as a promotional tie-in. the result was a half-popstar, half-monkey cartoon that was so overly cute it became disgusting.

 

 

in Japan, my melody is commonly known simply as MYMERO.

this little cutie, however is MY TERO.

a relative, perhaps, of MONKI CHI.

Seeing as how he is the only Sanrio character licenced to sell CONDOMS, it is not a stretch to imagine a monkey called MONKI CHIN. What might "chin" mean? Well, one might reasonably infer that it is NOT the body part connected to the mouth and neck.

PAN PAN PURIN. pan-pans were the patriotic postwar prostitutes recruited by Hirohito’s guys and the Yakuza in order to service american G.I.s. Apparently the cutesy name derives from their "patched panties". . . i guess it was cute becuase it was starvation-level poverty? those wacky 1940s people and their sense of humor. naturally, I figured, "What better tribute to their patriotic self-sacrifice than an imitation fat cartoon golden retriever?"

(more information here)

a popular san-x character called RELAKUMA (relax + bear)

this guy, on the other hand, is RELAKUMO. what could "kumo" mean, I wonder?

SHINDAMAROU . . . cinamaroll, after he’s dead of old age.

shinda = dead, plus "ROU" which means "aged"

and, of course, u*sa*ga*wa. . .

(sagawa issei is japan’s most famous cannibal)

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