Tokyo Damage Report

Kitty Goods Collection magazine

During a fugue state back in 2003, I collected about a dozen issues, searching for the fabled hello kitty step-exercise machine and the pon pon purin hazmat suit. I found neither, but here are some of the highlights.

One of the suprising things about kitty is her resourcefulness. For instance, just when you thought you are completely jaded she turns around busts out with some shit to make you go dayymn. Consider the picture below. Of COURSE kitty is going to have tvs, mds, microwaves, fans, brooms, and a blender. . . .

but an air cleaner? dammmn. diecast, you say? with twin-fan power?

following is the translation of the book:


DIECAST AIR CLEANER
A twin-fan manufactured device. By means of deodorizing filter, tobacco, pet, and living garbage smells are made equal.

The discomfort of the room odors are eliminated.

 

and again, the x-29 vacuum cleaner is precisely the kind of thing one would expect, but. . .

 

the x-32 hello kitty christmas humidifier???

i’ve been collecting sanrio for longer than you have been alive and even i was like, what the hell?


COMPACT ADDITIONAL HUMIDITY DEVICE

By means of the boiling ceremony, MINUS ION is also coming out unfortunately!
The stylish girl whose beauty is very sensitive to damage, is more than merely tickled by this.

By means of its Compact size, this unit can suddenly halt the minus ion of the one-person-lifestyle apartment.

 

you kind of have to look close to see the kitties on these dresses, but i assure you they are real.

 

WITH KITTY’S UEDINGUDORESU, YOU CAN SEE THE DREAM OF THE MAXIMUM HAPPINESS MOMENT!

From now on, you and the man whom you love will be walking down the same road. So therefore make him witness number-one most beautiful image of yourself since you were born! This kind of stylish girl is far from being easily satisfied, so arrange her with the Kitty uedingudoresu! No matter which kind of female wants to show her gorgeousness, a design exists for her. Of course she is with the beloved kitty together inserted in the dress, so a natural and happy smiling face should be overcome with emotion.

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LET:S DO A HAPPY KIND OF ORIGINAL WEDDING BY MEANS OF COLLABORATING WITH KITTY!

That, at the sanrio puroland which everyone loves, a perfect wedding plan exists, is an expression which is said, are you aware?

This plan includes a wedding ceremony and the following reception, as well as happy wishes to the new couple which you can choose.

The costumed characters assist your luxurious celebrations, and guests dine on specially made tableware by which they enjoy the delicious food.

A wedding which is so unique, the kitty fan absolutely must hanker for!

and, i’m sure you already have the infamous HK Vibrator. all smug, you are! but do you have the massager?

ior the rubik’s cube?

 

 

TOILET SCENE SERIES THREE!!
Next is the big remodeling of the toilet!

Moreso than merely private space, toilet is a place where relaxing is possible, so therefore one must be careful to coordinate the decorations.

Don’t worry about the visitor who might knock momentarily, compose yourself and let out a smile.

To everyone, toilet has a big reputation!

and no issue of KITTY GOODS COLLECTION would be complete without an interview with an obsessive collector!

One

One would expect that this would be enough weirdness for one report, but no. They get a Feng Shui Master to analyze the kitty room.


The strongest kitty-room on the face of the earth!

Let:s look with Feng Shui!

Mrs. Takaya, who loved pink always even before she loved Kitty.

Doing the "Clothing and accessories such as cellphones, everything surrounding her body must be pink colored" kind of lifestyle lady, who, once she became conscious of Kitty, can’t turn down anything related to Kitty.

This time, let’s all crave Mrs. Takaya’s kitty room!

"everything surrounding me is usually pink, so naturally pink kitty plays the leading part in my room."

It is the house of Takaya, who has been doing a kitty-colored room for so many years.
At the present time she makes a tasteful first impresson!

If given the opportunity to move, she would make her new house also Kitty environment certainly.

Therefore, with the arrangement policy of which she is doing, kitty is the only essential thing.

The Feng Shui master gave her the "entire room diagnosis", in its capacity as a Kittyroom, it is very proficient and has "good-coordination."

Let’s introduce you to this room and the same time , receive the advice of Teacher Momoka, the Feng Shui master!

FENG SHUI MASTER MOMOKA ON THE ROOM AS A WHOLE–
Speaking of the room as a whole, we must make sure the Kitty balance is good.
In the case of her room, the north-facing energy is absolutely suitable for the pink kitty!

North is the direction of trustworthiness, calmness, and compassion, and other such good energies.

So, the interior color of pale pink brings the room together in a cheerful atmosphere and connects it to a "cheer up" feeling, yo.

FENG SHUI MASTER MOMOKA ON THE BED

The area surrounding the bed is responsible for building good energy, so it is a very important point.

Bedcovering, sheets, curtains, and so forth. . . all are affected by the yin/yang balance.

If they are plain, it is . yang energy, and if they have a pattern it is yin.

But in this case, all the patterns are the same Kitty, it is all Yin, so we should try to correct the balance.

FENG SHUI MASTER MOMOKA ON THE TABLE

Using your desk as a chest-of-drawers (as Ms. Takaya does) is not bad, but having such a low desk is a matter of some importance.

Because, whether studying or working, the desk is the symbol of knowledge.

So, if one has to look down at the desk, one’s knowledge limit is low. Whereas, a tall desk means the angle of looking is higher, thus one’s knowledge is also potentially higher.

So, let’s try to use a higher desk!

,

 

but not every Sanrio product can be as successful as Kitty. What of the failures? the castaways, the morbid byproducts of capitalism?

the characters that you never heard off, huddling in their discount warehouses? what of them?

of course I’m talking about. . . .

 

Delicious friends are, at the burger shop, having a big gathering!
WELCOME TO DOKIDOKIYUMMYCHUMS

Very fancy new characters are cheerfully making an entrance!

With pop-art colors and unique characters, naturally anyone who is holding them will display the smiling face without a mishap!


What is dokidoki yummychums?
Cute and interesting new chums are unfurling before your eyes.

Welcome to the unique world of them! Hamburgers and fries are the motif!

When you collect enough of them, you can open your own burger shop.

With mirth and enthusiasm you can distribute the food to your customers.

I have a hunch that these are the `food characters` who will soon become popular.

 

Dokidoki shakes

He is one of four cheerful brothers.

He is very kind to young girls but gets so excited by them that is contents spill out unfortunately through his straw.

What is going on here? Interesting.

 

Dokidoki burger

Always with a beaming smile, the famous burger is the king who owns a passionate heart.

Therefore a cold area is his weak point. He is decorated with so many different flavors you won’t be able to get sick of him!!

 

Dokidoki fries

Everone’s idol , the little girl with the cute big eyes.

She is so enthusiastic she calls out to everyone she sees.

She has a loveable surface also.

 

 

Dokidoki chicken chums

He is a great friend of all the babies who are recently born.

At all times jumping and rotating with great delight.

Somehow it looks like he is already beginning to sprout the teeth, isn’t it?

and who is to say, which is more awkward — fast food stuffed animals, or this:

The daughter of Hiruton Hotel also loves the kitty which is cute!
From the small times a huge fan, for instance, the Hiruton family’s daughter Parisu also came to the show.

It is a kitty choker which Tarina Tarantino has designed.

The person who is alive in the neighboring area is heavy metal world’s charismatic ojii ozuboun son jack.

He who is doing America:s mtv ‘s very famous comedy program, also came on stage.

Together they are making it cool by means of wearing the kitty!

 

1 comment

1 Comment so far

  1. Rebecca March 7th, 2016 8:56 pm

    So how can I get this magazine? Thanks

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