Tokyo Damage Report

california culture shock . . . .

all these waaay-too-california moments happened right when i got back from Japan . .. and reminded me why i am so ashamed to be from here.
I was in the health food store. The cashier was eyeing my tofu and soymilk with distaste, saying that it was kind of a sellout health food, and the real health food was ? no kidding ? hemp oil. “There have been studies, man.” At that point, the guy in line before me came back, saying, “Yeah, that’s amazing. Right on. Hey, wait ? you charged me for the completely wrong stuff.” Cut to commercial.
Driving down Lombard street in San Francisco. Even though it is a green light, the guy next to me screeches his brakes. I stop too, to see what the fuss is about. Some blonde pony tail woman is so into her cellphone conversation that she walked into a 4 lane road when her light was red. And here is the amazing part ? her face shows the fear and shock appropriate to someone who just came within a foot of death, but somehow SHE IS STILL TALKING ON HER CELLPHONE. Like, perhaps she is. .. NARRARATING the whole thing to Ashley or Tiffany or whomever??
me and my pal go out to dinner. A few minutes later, a white-guy-asian-lady couple sits down next to us. A few minutes after THAT, another white-guy-asian-lady couple sits down on the other side of us. The first guy had his fucking blackberry PDA out on the table all blinking so everyone could see how important he was. The other jive turkey was dating a fine buisnesswoman in dignified black pant-suit, but he was some dungeon-master-looking clown with flip flops. At least asian women from Thailand or the philipines have third-world-poverty as an excuse for sleeping with utter tools. What the hell is going on here??
Posted in Uncategorized, things I did, i hate it so much. . .! | 2 Comments ≫

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