Tokyo Damage Report

MEN’S FASHION.

So, low-rise jeans. This is a thing that people do. Still. But now it’s gotten to the point where if you talk about a lady’s cleavage, I assume you mean her pelvis cleavage, where you can see the start of her legs above her pants-line. As this ASCII art demonstrates:
…\ ……………………/
…|………………….. |
…| __________|
../ ………..*………. \
/………………………. \
| ____\_____/___| <—
|… ;… ; …|P… ;…. ;. |
\ ………._|…………_ /
|……… |… |………… |
| ………| …| …………|
What the hell. That’s not even sexy. At that point, it just looks like a mistake. Like, “Oh, I forgot to have pants, ever. Guess I’ll borrow a pair from my Barbie.” And of course the women wear these things with this fake nonchalance- they’re all, like, “What? It’s the style.”
So, imagine for a second what would happen if GUYS tried doing something like that.
I am talking about, what if dudes EVERYWHERE started just walking around with our flies unzipped. Just totally down, all day.
And if a lady went, “dude, your zipper is down.” We’d be like, “What? It’s the style. This is NOT undignified! This does NOT look like a total mistake! This is HIGH FASHION damn it! I’M LOOKING FABULOUS THIS WAY!”
Or we could go the indignant route: “My zipper? What? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN THERE FOR ANYWAY?? !? Um, HELLO, I’m UP HERE. Up HERE. Geez, what is the problem with you women today??”
Or we could go with the old, “well if you don’t like it, don’t look. It’s not about you. I’M DOING THIS FOR MEEE!! What’s the big deal anyway? I’m just walking around in public with my fly down, duh! ”
I dunno. I just think it would be awesome.

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