Tokyo Damage Report

oh God she’s back

and this time she is dating cannibal corpse??

. . . talk about your gluttons for punishment.
is cannibal corpse really in love? let’s find out!
(reading from left to right)
“cannibal corpse ringtones” NOT SURE
“stalking your every move?” MAYBE
“her crotch is bleeding?” YES!
I can’t even figure out what is the weirdest thing about this.
plus, how likely is someone who is listening to “fucked with a knife” going to be to donate to disaster relief charity? I like to think 100%, but the actual figure could be as low as 90%.
and this is NOT EVEN THE WEIRDEST THING.
the weirdest thing is below:

Someone wrote a computer program, using the latest technology, which automatically tells me Cannibal Corpse Lyrics fans may be interested in Aqua.
Lynyrd Skynyrd? Bush???????
OK, that part is pretty obvious.
but Aqua? are you, like me, imagining a Death Metal cover version of I’M A BARBIE GIRL???
“I’m a barbie girl / in a barbie world/ no escape from your fate / you can comb my hair / undress me everywhere/ my knife deep inside / life is fantastic”
So, CC fans like aqua but, according to that same site’s Aqua page, Aqua fans do NOT like Cannibal Corpse. Don’t blame me, man, i am just the messenger.

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