Tokyo Damage Report

return of return of internet dating pranks!

following is an ad from the Actual Internet:
I’m finally ready to start dating again.
I’m totally human.
I’m totally content with all the other areas of my life, but would like to share some of my happiness with someone worthy.
I’m cute, more than pretty. But most guys then to say I’m pretty.
I’m Asian, petite, easily turned off my men who ONLY date Asian women, or have an Asian fetish. I don’t buy that “I prefer Asian women, I don’t have a fetish for them.” – whatever.
I work at a dot.com but I also have side career in the entertainment industry (no, not porn).
It’s hard to describe exactly what I’m looking for in a guy. I usually don’t know until it smacks me upside the head.
I do know that I like guys who take care of themselves, aren’t lazy, have a career, have ambition, have some creativity, and aren’t assholes.
I tend to like guys who are confident and are intelligent. I’m not talking MENSA intelligent, but you know…you can hold your own and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to take you out in public.
Anyway, like I said I’m petite so I also like guys who are tall. (Something about feeling protected…you know?) – So at least 5′10 – 6′1 seems to work best for me. – But I’ve dated shorter guys and taller guys too…depends on how hot I think you are I guess.
I may sound kind of abrasive but I know exactly what I DON’T want, and if you’re that then I won’t waste your time or mine. I can promise you that much.
Have a nice day.
Ciao.

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Hi! I am writing because you are asian and petitie! and, since i am also 5′2″, i think we would be a good match.
>I work at a dot.com but I also have side career in the entertainment industry (no, not porn).
That is wonderful – i have not dated an Asian porn actor in months. Also, once we are married maybe you can get me a job with your company. Not a job where i have to show up every day, or have skills. Maybe i could work from home. My parents’ home. Or you could just, you know, give me the money. Anyway, we can discuss that in a few weeks.
>It’s hard to describe exactly what I’m looking for in a guy. I usually don’t know until it smacks me upside the head.
See, it must be fate bringing us together. for years, my hobby has been smacking people upside the head, and now I finally find someone who likes that. when you feel it, you will know i am exactly what you are looking for. I can’t wait to sit around on my couch all day watching tv with you, since I don’t do anything else with my life. but you’ll have to act fast, because they will repossess my tv next week. if only i had a career or ambition, maybe i would pay for a new tv, but between smacking people and having an asian fetish I really have no time for that sort of thing.
>I tend to like guys who are confident and are intelligent. I’m not talking MENSA intelligent, but you know…you can hold your own and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to take you out in public.
you don’t have to be embarrassed me in public, because we can stay in my parents’ house and order take-out. problem solved! i solve your problems because i believe in pleasing the lady’s. Plus I am a member of MESA.
Anyway, send me your picture. Not one of your naked ones, because my Dad uses this computer and might see it. If you really are Asian, i will tell you my address and you can come over.
p.s. let’s do this.
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