Tokyo Damage Report

Mr. Aida’s “Autobiography of a Gigolo”

II ONNA NO HOUSOKU is a book by MR. AIDA. It's the autobiography of a famous Japanese gigolo. I'm gonna try to translate the whole thing, but for now here's the first thrid. It was published in 2002, so it is not 100% current, but pretty close.

I like it for four reasons:

1) unlike a lot of Japanese authors, his writing style is not full of pompous abstraction. He gets down to the nitty-gritty.

2) As you might imagine, he's pretty shameless. He says a lot of shocking things to be provocative. But what excites me the most is, when he says something shocking that he doesn't even realize is shocking. Like when his mask of smoothness slips a little. Like when he declares that he has illigitemate children by 10 women becuase "family is important to me!". Or when he says that rich women "glitter with intelligence." The book is full of these unintentional ironies.

3) Japan is famous for its porn, organized crime, and consumer electronics. But you can find porn and crooks in almost any country, but guys who charge you $300 to talk to them and eat $50 fruits is pretty much only in Japan.

4) he looks like this:

you can find more pictures of him, his clubs, staff, and thangs here:

http://www.aidakanko.com/

Anyway, I've resisted the temptation to add my own grim little asides, and tried to translate as best I could. here goes:


RULES OF BEING A BETTER LADY


 

FOREWORD

 

Out of the vast number of occupations, what is the one that gives you the most chance to meet the ladies? It is, make no mistake: the gigolo. Every day, countless ladies come to visit my club (called LOVE, in Shinjuku). Some of them want to drink and have fun, some are trying to forget their burdens in life, some don’t have a boyfriend, some are married, some have outlived their husbands, some are corporate businesswomen, some are in showbiz, some are prostitutes. In the same way, there are many types of gigolos: boys come from the deep countryside trying to make it in the big city, former bikers that turned down the Yakuza in favor of gigolo:ism, boys from prestigious universities who are trying to save money for law school, and men in their late 30’s who are still continuing the lifestyle.

 

A host club is one of the only places that you can find men and women from such different lifestyles having social relations! And the stories of those relationships are just as diverse as you would imagine, all unfolding before your eyes at the club: the host falling in love with a customer, sometimes they even get married! Or, a woman leaving a host for another host. As for me, I have been in the gigolo business for 33 years, so I have seen many of these stories firsthand. I decided I wanted to tell them to everyone, thus this book. I wanted to paint a picture of how gorgeous women can become, and how far they can fall.

 

My other goal is, to illustrate the rules for being a better lady. I’m the manager of a host club, I talk to the hosts every day and we share our knowledge of the trade. And not just conversation either: in the bathrooms and changing rooms, the gigolos post sheets of paper, detailing which customers are good, bad, and why! Tips and techniques for luring the ladies, good manners, all sorts of male expertise. The secret walls are absolutely covered with these papers. When the hosts have some free time, they can go to the changing room and receive some hints!

 

Think of this book as a ladies’ version of those papers.

 

I wanted to transmit to you, the reader, all the secrets and messages that hosts are always talking about in private. If you read this you will see through the eyes of a professional gigolo ? what kinds of women they find mysterious and luscious, what kinds of women they think are just nasty. And of course, in these pages, you’ll find lots of hints and advice on just how to be the great lady. Pay close attention, please! A woman’s beauty depends on how much effort she puts into the training.


 

INTRODUCTION: THE GIGOLO AS A “BETTER LADY PRODUCER”


THE UNEASY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GIGOLO AND CUSTOMER

 

When I say “host club,” what kind of place do you imagine? A tremendously expensive place? A suspicious place that upright citizens don’t enter? Like with extortion and so on? Recently host clubs have been on tv, and they’re not thought of so badly as in the past. But even so, most people who haven’t been even once probably imagine it to be a really bad place. But, for people who have a little curiosity about it, let me recommend that you come to my club one time! Beneath the gleaming classy chandelier, our hosts will drink sake with you and entertain you with witty conversations. They look dapper in their suits, like models who have settled down a bit. Here you can escape your everyday life and enter a new world. Our charming boys will welcome you at the entrance and you can have a very normal chat with them, but most women don’t want just that. The host club is a place where women can forget their cares and worries, and spread their wings, relaxing in this sumptuous atmosphere.

 

Our customers are tired of the usual awkward haggling between men and women on dates. Everybody thinks that gigolos are all about the money, but after all we are still men! And the truth is, sometimes we desire to cross the line between business and real love! Like any man, a gigolo is happy if a beautiful lady comes to the club. But, unlike most men, even if he does fall for a customer he will never show it. It is his job to make the customer love him, not vice versa! This is what makes the gigolo a real pro.

 

For instance, while looking into his partner’s eyes, he says, “this is just between us, but we have a lot of terrible customers in here. I wish they could all be more like you!”

Or, “I will only tell this to you,” or “please don’t tell anyone this, but…” and so on. The ladies have a weakness for things like this. But, the customer never knows if this is the host’s real feeling or just “business talk.” It is important to keep them in suspense about this! If a customer really likes a gigolo, she wants to believe his every word is heartfelt. Therefore, she’ll try to get him to expose his true feelings: “Hey, you probably say that to all your customers!” Of course, the host has to deny it: “What are you talking about?!?” he replies. “No really, I mean it. I’m a man, so of course if I’m with a beautiful lady my work is much more fun.” But, that’s as far as it will go this time. Now, he’s been called by another customer: “Ok, see you next time!” he says as he goes to her table. Now the first customer has been caught in his trap, hasn’t she?

 

That way, she will return perhaps three days later, and scrutinize the gigolo’s reaction, to see if he remembers her. Of course the gigolo says, “Oh! I have been waiting to meet you again! I thought you’d never come back.” With a face full of smiles he’ll escort her to her table. “Huh, I guess he does really like me after all!” she’ll think. Whether you are a man or a lady, no one falls in love with a person who doesn’t like them even a little bit. At first, they say, “That person looks like he might be a little interested in me.” But, little by little, it turns into, “I really am interested in him!” And before long they are coming to my club all the time! Making this happen is what we call the “host’s pride”, and it is essential to a professional gigolo. The ability to make a woman love you, without falling in love yourself. If you do fall in love, you are really selling yourself cheaply! Just make them love you, to the bitter end; it’s the iron rule of gigolos. The club is a place where such thrilling chases take place. This risky give:and:take between men and women give it an exquisite flavor! What’s more, the thrill of the chase is what makes the ladies polish themselves and emerge more beautiful women.


MY THRITY THREE YEARS IN THE GIGOLO BUSINESS

 

I first became a host thirty:three years ago. Back in those days women didn’t have so much freedom, so there were very few clubs. The very first host club was called TOKYO NIGHT, and when it opened naturally it caused quite a stir. Many housewives went our of curiosity. Six years after TOYKO NIGHT opened, I started working at a club in Shinjuku Kabukicho called LOYAL, so I was in this business from the beginning! I was living the gigolo lifestyle in the center of things, and within three years I started managing a club. After that, I really devoted my life to it! Nowadays, I manage five clubs, if you count my ONABE bar as a host bar. (incidentally, we call drag:kings ONABE here: it means a woman who performs the role of a man. These ladies, or should I say guys, I will introduce to you later).

 

Back when I was an active host, I was working at LOYAL and also at a club in Shibuya called NIGHT PALACE, plus on the side at TOKYO NIGHT, near Tokyo Station. I was running back and forth between all of them, but no matter where I was, I was the top ranked gigolo there! Maybe I shouldn’t talk about myself this way, but I was really popular with the ladies! In the gigolo business, we refer to a lady who spends a lot as a “fat customer.” At my peak I had about thirty fat customers (on my jammy). A host receives GYARA (guarantee, or base salary), but he mostly gets paid from commissions based on how much his customers spend. But if he dates a customer, she’ll give him a steady allowance too. I remember these experiences so fondly!

 

But even so, I wasn’t tall or particularly good:looking, so how could I pull all these customers? It’s too simple to just say I tried really hard. I also had very meticulous training, which was useful. I was born in Niigata deep in the countryside. My grandmother managed an enterprise in the red:light district. I would often go to visit her, and even though I was a child, in my heart I knew what kinds of thing were going on there. I was a fast learner! In my teens, I decided to try that business for myself: nowadays the kids call it nanpa (“girl hunting”). I was the sixth of nine brothers. At that time, so deep in the countryside, with so many children, it was too much for my family. They decided to give me up for adoption. I encouraged it. I was sent to the house of a local bigwig, but we didn’t get along at all, no matter what we tried. So, I ran away at 19 to the big city. In the beginning I was working at a Ginza club called Matsumura.

I was the BOOI (boy waiter), but I had the mizu shobai (literally, water trade; figuratively money for flesh business) under my skin, so I enjoyed it. But the lady I was dating at the time was really a square ? she was a bus tour guide of all things. She was against my working at the host club, so I changed jobs: I started selling beds.


THE “MARRIED WOMAN’S PARTNER” BED BUSINESS

 

Back then, beds were sold door:to:door, so I’d have to go to the customer’s house unexpectedly! This experience would come in very handy later on when I returned to hosting, although I certainly wasn’t thinking about that at the time, was I ? Sales were done during the day, when nobody but the housewife was home; you could say that I was the “married woman’s business partner.” I would appear at her door suddenly: “Ma’am, to begin with, why don’t you just try and lie down in it? If you get it, your husband will be glad. I think you know what I mean!”

“Is that so?”

“As for me, I have a new product! The latest in double beds. It sold like crazy the very first day it came out!”

“Really?”

And so on! That’s how the conversation would usually unfold. While talking I would steadfastly gaze into her eyes, and this would make her gradually soften. We’d develop an unspoken understanding. I would present the merchandise to her, and just like that, often just by jumping in the bed. “Honestly, it’s a great product. Won’t you try it just a little?” and after I sold the bed, we would often continue our acquaintance.

 

All told, France Bed had about 250 chapters nationwide, but I was the top salesman in the nation! They say that to triumph in business, first you have to open the heart of the customer. You could say that I learned this lesson well, am I right?? Often I would open their bodies as well! But seriously, if one doesn’t give an all:out effort, one can’t hope to succeed. Because often, one would get repulsed right there at the doorway. If that happens, just go back the next day. And the day after that! This will demonstrate your sincerity and good faith.

 

Perhaps the best place to sell door:to:door was the apartment complex. There were a lot of households full of cult members. I would immediately pretend to be a believer of whichever cult they were in, and usually close the sale right away. Eventually I got put in charge of five branch offices of France Bed. And all this was due to my uncompromising work ethic.

 

Incidentally, I had to use my heart, my head, and my body to win the goodwill of the ladies. This is undoubtedly true of the host business as well! Even now, I tell my boys, “If you don’t try your best, your customers will find another gigolo and I’ll send you away!” And this philosophy even applies to normal guys, too. If you don’t try your hardest, you’ll never get total control over the ladies’ hearts. There is not a man alive who gets popular by accident!!

 

 

WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS SUPPORTED ME

 

It was really hard to get my first business off the ground. Once I decided to try, I was already over 30, and I didn’t have any capital. If I didn’t get started in a hurry, I wouldn’t ever be able to open even one club. So SUPPOTA (supporters) were necessary. At that time, I had fifty regular customers. There was no way to avoid using them for capital. So I turned to my “fat customers” (women who ran their own businesses, or who were married to a CEO , or whose CEO husband had passed away, and so on): I told them, “The time has come for me to start my own club, I think. But I don’t have quite enough money yet. Miss XXX, you’re the only one I can turn to. Won’t you make a man out of me?”

 

But to tell the truth, the customers back in those days were much more likely to be wealthy. “Only because it’s you, Takeshi:chan!. I’ll loan you some.” They’d reply. “In return, you’ll give me free gigolos at your new club, won’t you?” they’d always goddamn add. And as they said it, they’d whip out a fat knot of cash, in thousand:dollar bills, and hand it to me. Now, when a host asks for a loan, it is understood that the loan will not be repaid, and the ladies knew this. But, in return for the money, I would give them a very special discount service, if you know what I mean. Hosts know the intricate subtlties of our customers’ tastes, so we can do this sort of thing. But I can’t exactly say our relationship was as relaxed as before money changed hands.

 

Anyway, I was able to open my first club, called LOVE. As a number:one host, you have to decide which has more value: money or friends who can save you if you’re in trouble. As a matter of fact, most of the people who have saved me are females. Whenever things become too much, I can always turn to my customers to bail me out.

However, persuading customers to save one really wears down one’s body ? although I’ll leave you to imagine how!


HOW I MET MY (CURRENT) WIFE

 

I met my current wife during my second year working at NIGHT PALACE. The first time, she came with two friends, but I looked only at her. “What an unbelievably high:class lady!” I thought, and I still can remember it. I was raised in the countryside, and learned to talk in the red:light district, so I feel very weak around such high:class ladies. That isn’t just me, though; most hosts feel this way. Or maybe, all men! To men, the lady who can look naturally classy, even without a lot of makeup or bling, she is an eternal treasure.

 

I could boast about her for over sixty years without embarrassment, but for now let’s just say that she’s really really really high class. When she talks, she takes time to choose her words. When she laughs, she covers her mouth with her hand. She doesn’t talk too much. She wears the most stylish Western clothes. I fell in love at first sight, and I was not about to lose her to another gigolo. So, I offered her “service time” with me. The second time, she came to the club alone. We talked about many different things. She said that she was married, what’s more, her husband graduated from Tokyo University (high:class!), and worked at a famous bank. I was in trouble, wasn’t I? I listened more: her father was a famous architect, and he’d built many famous buildings. “OK, OK,” you say, “I get it. She’s a classy lady.” Her and me were as separate as the highest moon and the lowest swamp turtle. I knew it was not appropriate to aim at her! But even so, she’d come to visit now and then just as if she didn’t have a family at home. I could tell I had a chance, make no mistake!

 

We gradually became more familiar with each other, and she told me more about herself: her husband seemed to be messing around; spending more and more nights “at the office.” She seemed lonely. Thanks to that, she became even more attractive. Without even thinking, I blurted, “Why don’t you divorce him and move in with me?” Of course I was also married at that time! And I had children too! But I didn’t care; all I wanted was to be with her. But if she married me, her relatives would disown her. She’d be cast out of her posh world.

 

But, in the end, she also fell in love with me, didn’t she? I can’t say why directly, but maybe it’s what people mean when they speak of the “call of the wild.” Or when they say, “You should make the all:out effort.” Men and women look for a partner who has what they don’t have, and that applies to us as well. Naturally, a sex:trade worker with the street life such as myself goes with a cultured, refined, top:class smooth lady such as her.

 

But, our marriage started out really roughly. She wasn’t familliar with the mizu shoubai lifestyle, and didn’t understand that I needed to get very very close to my customers. She wouldn’t forgive me meeting them outside the club. So her intention was for us to live separately for a while. In the end, we continued this for seven years. After all, I was still in my thirties, and just getting warmed up as a host. I was working furiously in the clubs. This might sound selfish, but I needed to seduce all of the customers that I had so far become good friends with ? after all the time I put into them, to not seduce them would be wasteful! Therefore, it was appropriate for me and my wife to live separately. Incidentally, when I was right in front of her, I would be very devoted. For her part, she would not investigate too deeply.

 

If I think about it now, those seven years living apart was what allowed us to make the relationship work and last. If we had done the normal thing and lived together, it would have been so much fighting! So I think she made the right decision. And let me add something else right here: she helped me set up my new club, loaning money and effort. But, after many years together, we have adapted to each other: now we are just a typical old squabbling couple.


 

MANAGING A CLUB WITH MY FAMILY EN MASSE

In my life I’ve dated a lot of women, and been married a lot too! Back in the day, I made some children. A lot of children. When I was a bartender, a lady named Satoko and I had a boy. When I worked for France Bed, I had another boy with a hostess. When I first started my own host club, I had a baby boy with a lady that ran the cash register at the local massage parlor. When she left me, she started working at a soapland (hoe house) and then wound up committing suicide at the age of 23. It was pretty pathetic. But after that, I was able to have one baby girl and three boys with the Mamasan of another club. My current wife has a step:daughter, so if you count children without blood ties, my offspring are an even bigger number! Legally speaking, I only have four children but, the truth is I would like to live together as a family with all my children. But getting custody of them is another matter! It’s a shame.

 

Family is very important to me. In the end, family is the only thing you can really count on. I had a huge family growing up but in the end I had to break off ties with them. Therefore, now I want to have an even bigger family of my own! The relationship between me and my hosts is also like a family. Once a year I take them on our customary vacation. I run my business like a family: my host club (“new love”) is like a stepchild, my manager is like a second stepchild, and “New Marilyn” (my drag:king host club)’s mama san is like a third stepchild. My wife helps me run the club too!

 

To the average person, my family might seem complicated, but I love all my children the same, regardless of if they have my blood or not. Love and loyalty are more important than mere blood. I should also mention that at my home office, we have more than 24 pets! Dogs and cats and a small:scale panther. We used to have a donkey in addition but, as you would expect, once he got big we left it in a farmer friend’s safekeeping. In this way I am always surrounded by a huge family of my own making ? pets, children, gigolos, drag kings. My clients also enjoy such a family atmosphere of intimacy and close rapport. That’s why I named my club Love!


 

CUSTOMERS TRAIN THE HOST, AND HOSTS TRAIN THE CUSTOMER

 

In my life I’ve been saved by women so many times! When I was a beginner host, I got so much advice from the customers. And when I had my own business, so many women patronized my clubs. It’s no exaggeration to say that I was mainly raised by women. You could say that I was lucky, but it was also a matter of technique.

 

“How can I get popular with customers that want to make a man out of me?”

 

A mature, fully:qualified host must be able to answer that question. A beginner can’t hope to get more than a beginning customer. That’s why I always say to the gigolos at my club, “How are you going to find a woman to make a real man out of you? You have to consider it!”

 

Nowadays, I’m managing three host clubs: ORIGINAL LOVE, NEW LOVE, and BIBUROSU LOVE ? over 300 individual gigolos are in my care. But the number one gigolo is very different from them! He doesn’t just take care of his body and clothes, he is also very careful about the details: he has many witty topics of conversation, and a knowledge of how to bargain with women. It’s quite common for the number one to earn 10,000 dollars a month; the record in Japan is 100,000 dollars a month. But fundamentally, hosts work on a commission so they have to show initiative in recruiting customers. Hosts that just sit there waiting for customers wind up getting fired sooner or later, but hosts that try very hard can make some rich clients. And they are in essence groomed and polished by those clients to become even better hosts! I have seen that happen so many times.

 

But, an even more important matter is, how can the host train the customer! So many women come in for the first time, not knowing how to drink properly, how to spend their money properly, or even how to carry on a proper conversation. In their short time at the club, the host has to find a way to say, “Whoa, whoa there!” and make them a proper dignified lady. One of the biggest pleasures of the job is to watch one’s customer grow in this way. Although in the end, if she can’t learn how to be SUMAATO (smart), she’ll wind up wasting all her money and ruining herself.

 

The ability to get good customers to come regularly is what makes a good host, as is the ability to turn bad customers into good customers! You could say we are “Good lady producers.” The host club is a place where women can expose their physical bodies but at the same time, it is a place where women’s inner nature is utterly revealed.


 

CHAPTER ONE:

HOST: THE BUSINESS OF SELLING MALES.


 

THE BILLING SYSTEM AT THE CLUB

 

There’s so many ladies that are always goddamn thinking, “Your club sounds like fun, but isn’t it too expensive?” Of course if you like spending money, you can spend as much as you want! But if you are low on cash, it is still possible for you to enjoy the club.

First, let me introduce the billing system of my club:

The base price is $85. That includes table charge, show charge and so on. The club’s show includes both karaoke and performance by a band of beteranbandoman (“veteran band man”) which I have been fortunate to hire. Besides that, there’s a charge for choosing a particular gigolo. This “selection fee” ranges from $10 to $40, depending on how popular the host is, and the customer’s relationship to him: “XXsan, my payday is tomorrow, so I will let you choose me for merely $10 this time!”, and so on. What we call “case:by:case” pricing. On top of that, we have a food charge.

 

Fruits cost $50 but a deluxe plate can cost $500. Customers with something special to celebrate, who don’t care about the expense, order the deluxe plate. The cheapest liquor is Korean Jinro whisky, which is $70 per bottle. (ed. Note: around $10 in stores). The most commonly ordered is Hennesy brandy, at $180 per bottle. We have over fifty different ranks in our alcohol pricing system, but the most expensive is KIMYO ROYAL, at $10,000. The next rank down is Hennesy Royal, at $8,000.

 

In any case, when we add up the base price, table charge, show charge, selection fee, food charge, and liquor, we like to add a “service charge” of 20 to 30 percent of the total. Oh, and a ten percent tax! Anyway, that is the billing system. Usually a customer who comes in alone can expect to spend on average 300 ? 500 dollars in a night. It’s not such a high figure, is it? But also, for first:time customers, we have an “all you can drink” tickets ($50 for two hours, or $100 for all:night). This way, first:timers can experience the host lifestyle cheaply.


 

THE MEN WHO WIN OR LOSE BASED ON THEIR FACE, BODY, AND TECHNIQUE

 

At the host club, the gigolos rent out their respective tables and manage themselves, so it’s more like a collection of individual entrapaneurs than a regular corporation. Success depends on their “strength of management,” so they have to be active in recruiting customers. Some earn tens of thousands of dollars a month, others might be lucky to earn one thousand. Their only capital is their face, body, and conversation technique. They have to make maximum use of these in order to win steady customers. In a word, we are man:selling! They rise and fall based on these attributes.

 

Nevertheless, compared to the past, my club is pretty lenient with hosts. Back in the day, it was normal for gigolos to have to pay the club a “table rental fee.” So even if they didn’t meet any customers that night, they’d have to pay the full amount to the club! But when I started my own club, I made sure to not do it that way : it’s hard to recruit and keep top:quality hosts with such a strict system. In our world, it’s normal for the bosses to go “head:hunting!” If you’re a careless boss, you might find your highest:earning gigolos snatched from under your nose. So at my club, I pay a small daily wage, regardless of their performance. It’s a lot different than the past, eh?

 

And another thing, when hosts begin work at a club, we give them a “BANSU.” (advance money). Of course, the money isn’t a gift! We take it out of their first few paychecks. If you loan someone 10,000 dollars, he can’t very well quit working at your club, can he? And not everyone has to pay all the money back. If you hire a top:level host, losing part of your advance money is worthwhile. In the past, club would use BOOIs (boy waiters), but I changed all that. The boys would pass out hot towels and serve drinks. Hosts should do all that! Instead of spending money on the boys’ wages, I used it to decorate my clubs.

 

The club colors are primarily green, sliver and gold. I designed all the decoration myself! We got green leather sofas, lots of mirrors, and a golden chandelier. Mirrors are important so that the gigolos can check to make sure their suit and hair look perfect. Also the customers can admire themselves. No one is happier than a pretty lady with a mirror! It cost 800,000 dollars to decorate ORIGINAL LOVE. By using top:level design, hosts are able to give top:level service, and also customers are able to feel top:level gorgeous! Also, as a manager, using such a luxurious environment encourages the gigolos to work their hardest.


TROLLS AND SHRIMPS CAN BE NUMBER ONE!

 

When I talk about a gigolo, you imagine someone like a model or movie star, right? A collection of gentlemen with handsome bodies is what you are thinking about! Naturally a lot of ladies love just this sort of gigolo, but there’s more to this business than pretty faces. I myself don’t have superior looks, and I’m not even especially tall. And yet the ladies have called me cutie:pie so many times! It is because of my attention to detail, the way that I wait on them, and my consideration that I am able to win so many hearts: this constant attention to the little things is what we hosts call “mame” (in English, something like “busy as a beaver!”) and it is one of the most important techniques of the gigolos. Charming the ladies is all in the details: “Your outfit this time is even more beautiful than last.” Or, “You changed your hairstyle, didn’t you? It gives me a good feeling!” or, “I see you got a new piercing. It looks very gorgeous, doesn’t it!” and so on.

 

If the customer smokes, you should look deeply into her eyes while pulling out her chair for her, and at the same time, discreetly place an ashtray on the table. When she pulls out a cigarette, you should have your lighter ready. If she looks thirsty, you should already be ordering her favorite liquor. If she looks like she has something on her mind, let her talk as long as she wants to. In short, anticipate all her needs. Always be waiting for the right time to do something, and when the time arrives, act!

 

“I think that we should call it a night. If you drink too much, it’s bad for your health.” Is something to point out to a drunk customer. Conversely, if she looks like she is spending money she doesn’t have, it is appropriate to scold her a little: “You don’t have to spend so much. Let’s do that next time!” If she asks for something you didn’t anticipate, do it without hesitation. Anything in the club is hers! That’s a professional attitude. The man who can do all this can succeed in this business even if he is a troll or a shrimp. Of course, good looks are an important factor too, but the tall, gorgeous guy who has no understanding of “Mame” can’t succeed as a gigolo. There’s always some customer who won’t hesitate to tell him, “No matter how hot you think you are, there is always a better man around!”

 

Even if you are ugly or short, if you can reach out to the customer’s needs, she’ll be appreciative. The fact is, most normal men have no idea how to do this, and women are left feeling like no one understands their true feelings. . . that’s why ladies go to the host club in the first place!


 

POPULAR GIGOLOS FALL INTO CATEGORIES

 

Occasionally, a tv show will have a scene set in a host club, or a comedy skit where a host comes in. In those cases, the host is young, handsome and stylish, looking like a popstar from the “Johnny’s” label. Naturally there ARE lots of hosts like that, but not all of them. At my club, hosts can be divided into four types.

 

1: THE IDOL TYPE

The most common is the idol type. With beautiful face like someone on TV, or like a model. There are even hosts that could have entered showbiz if they wanted to. This type ranges in age from 20s to early thirties, but they’re popular with women from all ages. Older women seem to like being waited on by a man so different in age as to be their grandson, and that’s great!

 

2: THE BAD BOY

In a word, he’s a Yankee (biker or greaser), isn’t he? He seems kind of rough, quick to start a fight. This kind of host is also popular. In practice, this kind of host really does come from a bosozoku (biker) background. He’s pretty popular with the older ladies. It’s risky but women’s maternal instinct stimulates these customers to try to correct the bad boy. If they take him out on a date, they always have to pay for every single thing ? the bad boy is a real hard:liner when it comes to gigolo:ism.

 

3: THE SPORTSMAN

 

Very manly, with a thickset build, he looks like he goes to the gym a lot. At first glance he might not look like a host at all, but he’s pretty popular. There’s a certain kind of customer who likes a tough guy with a stocky build. This type of host also has an exotic, almost foreign face. In the end, women assume such a man would be deeply compassionate so they are attracted to him, aren’t they?

 

4: THE ROMANTIC MOVIE GUY

This type is an older handsome man. At my club, hosts range from 20s to the sixties, don’t they? This type looks like he could have been in a period drama or old Yakuza movie, with his manly good looks. In the past, this type was more prevalent, but even nowadays, the older customers request him. Another type of customer is always goddamn saying, “I want someone to talk about the movies with! Tee hee I’m nervous!” . . . As if they’re meeting a real movie star.


 

YOU CAN BE A GIGOLO EVEN PAST SIXTY YEARS OLD!

 

Hosting is not limited to the young as you’d think. I have a host named Mr. Chiba who has been in movies any number of times. He started gigoloing when he was 23 years old and is now a veteran at 34. To tell the truth, our customers have an amazing variety of needs. Of course there’s older women who enjoy a gigolo their son’s age, but there’s also younger women who prefer a veteran who is their father’s age! Also, some of the older ladies want a man their own age, someone who in life has known both sweetness and bitterness, who can better understand the customer’s own troubles and triumphs in life. In the end, young hosts simply can’t offer the depth of service that a veteran can.

 

I have one host named Mr. Kaji, who is a superb dancer. He used to be a host when he was young, and then quit the business for ten years. What did he do during that time? Nothing! He just aimlessly drifted around. How was he able to manage this? He found a very “fat customer” at my club to be his patron, didn’t he! A widow so much older than he! She financed so many of the gigolos. She was very wealthy from insurance money from her husband’s death. For ten years, she gave out over a million dollars, so therefore it was a huge sum! To this day, he is actively collecting these older customers, or as he puts it, “ladies in the full prime of womanhood.”

 

But, not everyone likes this kind of older host. After all, as humans age, they become a little feeble (and I mean that in many ways!). Young gigolos are selling their good looks and power, and many times they have to quit when they get old. Like Mr. Chiba: he was often ranked Number One when he was young, but as he got older, he felt that he’d reached his limit as a host, and eventually became very neurotic and obsessed about it. Now he is at the mental hospital, convalescing.

 

Another host, one Mr. Castle, also met a pathetic fate. After he passed fifty years, suddenly all his customers left him! He slowly lapsed into a depression, and anyone looking in his eyes would know it. He was a very hardworking gigolo so I wanted nothing more than to help him, but he had no customers, so what could I do? One day he simply did not show up at the club. I called him at home but there was no reply. Twelve days passed with no news from him. As you can imagine, I was very worried! I went to his apartment and yelled, but no reply came. I pounded on his door, but no reply. I’d run out of options, so I had to call the apartment manager. He opened the door with his key.

 

We went in the room, and found Mr. Castle limply draped across his bed, looking like he just died. On top of his stove was an empty whiskey bottle, with a mostly empty glass next to it. red pills were scattered around the floor. Sleeping pills and antidepressants and who knows what! Although we might never know the exact cause of death, clearly it was suicide: he could not tolerate the thought of being unable to sell himself. He was one of those gigolos who makes a living off of his body, rather than his wit, so when he got old, customers stopped coming, and he stopped believing in himself. He couldn’t persevere in the face of rejection. Being a gigolo may look glamorous, but it can be a grim business sometimes.


 

IT IS ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE TO HAVE SEX WITH A CUSTOMER

 

To the ladies, sex is a weapon of last resort, isn’t it? Similarly, gigolos won’t lay down with a customer so easily! Most of the men know that sex is the customer’s final motive, sex is what keeps her coming back to the club time and again. Of course, if he grants her wish so straightforwardly, she’ll soon stop coming! And this is a point of contention between the club and the gigolo, who, after all, wants to be kind to the customer in all ways, right? Moreover, hosts in general want to run their own business as much as they are able. The path he takes depends on the individual gigolo, of course. To aquire a stable of rich customers, some use their body, some use their communication skills, but in any case there’s a lot of hosts trying to do business behind the back of the club.

 

In our business, a host who has sex too easily is called a MAKURA HOSUTO (“pillow host”). We men can’t claim that being begged for sex is terrible, but keeping the ladies on the brink of success is also fun, we can’t deny that either. They’re both important! I myself, when I was younger, was able to get friendly with the ladies, and I mean that in various ways! When it came to the aged customers, it was common for them to, after sex, bluntly whip out $5,000, or buy me a car, or something like that. (obviously I would have to satisfy them fully first) (it could get pretty gruesome, if I may speak frankly).

 

Mr. Chiba, my veteran host is still popular despite his age, but when he was young ? he was really mobbed by the ladies. He’d been in the movies, so when he’d come to the club, the young customers would scream KYAAAAA!! It was pretty hectic. His lifestyle at that time was really demanding. Nowadays, we’re bound by strict management laws, but back then, we could stay open until around five in the morning. Mr. Chiba would take the ladies who were still around, and go to a nearby bar to get some more alcohol, then go to a hotel! From the seven:AM check:in, he would go at it nonstop until 3PM. Mind you, I was no slouch in the time:management department myself, back in the day!

 

As you would expect, after working so hard his head became quite dizzy. As he exits the hotel, the sky is already darkening. And the area below the navel is throbbing and his knees are shaking. After that, he’d send the lady home in a taxi before going home himself. He’d sleep a little and then go back to the club, and he’d do this every day! You have to admit, one can’t keep up that lifestyle unless one is TAFU (tough)!

 

On the other hand, Mr. Mizuhara Yutaka was a gigolo of mine that was rated Number One time and time again. He always said, “Gigolos who use sex as a weapon really don’t have anything else to sell,” that guy!!! Most hosts deliberately tease, flashing a bit of sex appeal now and then to make the customers more attracted and impatient, but he was different. “I’ll only do a lady if I really have come to like her,” he said. He was the leader of a biker gang in Chiba, someone who by rights should have gone on to become a Yakuza, but his heart was as stubborn as it was pure. And this absolutely fascinated the customers.

 

As far as hosts seeing customers outside the club, I can’t really object, but gigolos who willy:nilly sleep with customers, without any policy or profit, are generally very immature.


THE CUSTOMERS WHICH THE HOSTS ARE INCLINED TO LOVE

 

Naturally the customers fall in love with gigolos, but gigolos fall for customers more often than you’d think! Of course, they don’t fall for just any lady. They are surrounded by average women all day, so they acquire a very discriminating eye. What follows is a description of the type of lady that hosts are inclined to love.

 

THE LADY WITH POISE TO SPARE

This kind of lady always stays composed and graceful, even if the customer in the next booth is very loud and annoying. At all times, she seems to project an image of refinement, as if she had everything to spare: money, class, charm. Nothing ruffles her feathers.

 

THE OLDER ELEGANT LADY

Hosts have a weakness for this kind of customer! Regardless of age, they glitter with an intellectual brilliance. Theirs is a very refined and elegant sexiness. Japanese style clothes suit them. If you ask the average gigolo what kind of lady he prefers, he’ll usually answer, “the elegant lady!”

 

THE EARNEST LADY

No matter how many times they come to the club, an irresponsible customer will always be terrible. We get so tired of women that always talk about themselves and never listen. But if a customer takes the time to get to know the gigolo a little bit, and asks his opinions on the important matters, he’ll be happy to consider her problems and answer seriously. Hosts are also very interested in this kind of lady.

 

THE RESTRAINED LADY

Hosts tend to be very aggressively self:confident or even pushy, so it’s natural they can’t get along with women who are the same way! If anything, they tend to fall for ladies that are restrained. The kind of lady who isn’t arrogant, and doesn’t need to be the center of attention all the time : hosts often fall for her.

 

THE SHY LADY

Men demand chastity from women, and hosts are no exception. Some customers get too drunk, start feeling on the gigolos and taking off their own clothes, but really that’s a shame, isn’t it? On the other hand, the shy lady has a huge burning passion which she strives to keep barely hidden. This kind of modesty is much more sexy. Having a burning passionate heart, is totally compatible with a strong sense of chastity, at least that’s my theory!

 

THE LADY WITH ECONOMIC IDEAS

We hosts are not particularly thinking about siphoning money off of customers. If we can get paid in proportion to how much the lady enjoys herself, that is sufficient. But some young ladies who throw money around with no sense of its value need to be rebuked! It’s easy to see who really has money and who is just trying to show off and impress you with money they don’t really have! That kind of lady is just disgraceful.

 

THE LADY WHO WILL SUPPORT HIM

Hosts always ask women for financial support, as well as spiritual support. The lady who will, from the bottom of heart, assist and cooperate with her gigolo is very welcome!

 

THE LADY WHO MAKES HIM FEEL AT EASE.

There’s a lot of women constantly whining and demanding things of men like so many spoiled children. So hosts have a weakness for ladies who pamper them and make them feel at ease. Gigoloing can be a very tough, grim business, so if we meet a sweet lady we like her immediately.


 

SEX MEANS SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO MEN AND WOMEN . . .

 

. . . at least that’s what they say! Of course we are now living in the age of “compensated dating” (schoolgirls selling themselves via cellphone), but ordinarily men and women are very different! Men will have sex casually, while the ladies only do it with someone they really love, they say. From my experience also, that’s generally true. Guys will get the sexual strength from alcohol, and just fall down with some girl. When the deed is done, he will quickly grow cold and look at the woman next to him and say, “Why on earth did I do it with such an unlikable woman, I wonder?”

 

But just as females don’t have sex for no reason, men don’t have sex for no reason either. When we’re young we have a physical motivation ? in other words, we want to be known as “the samurai who cut 100 people” or “the samurai who cut 1000 people.” Lots of young men have this bad habit. If they see a girl, they can’t help but try to persuade her!

 

Most hosts don’t have this mentality, but still they might ask a customer, “After the club closes, would you like to get a drink?” This is done merely to create a certain atmosphere! But, once a host becomes fully proficient at his work, sex becomes just one of the tools he uses for communication with a customer. For instance, if they have drank well, eaten well, and had a good conversation, the evening is already complete, the customer is satisfied, and so he doesn’t need to have sex to satisfy his own interests.

But as for me, I still have a sex drive even though I’m over 60! If I didn’t, I couldn’t work in this business, could I?

 

“If you don’t like her, how could you have sex with her?” is a question that women often ask men. But to men, the upper half of the body and the lower half are separate! This is a universal rule, regardless of ethnic group.


 

CUSTOMERS WHO WANT IT VS. CUSTOMERS WHO DON’T

 

I previously mentioned the “pillow hosts” who are quick to lie down with the customers. Some do it for fun; for others it is just business. But even the notorious pillow host meets customers that don’t want sex at all! Sex is something that happens between bodies, but as you are no doubt aware, mood, atmosphere, and loving-feelings are crucial components as well. To men, the upper body and lower body are separate things, but in the end if the atmosphere is bad, or he can’t get into the mood, or he really can’t stand the lady, it becomes really difficult to do the sex after all.

 

I forget exactly when, but we used to have a pretty big customer. That person fell in love with one of the hosts. Everyone who saw her would think, “Not only fat, but over 50 too!” She was really generous, though, wasn’t she? So we had to give her a lot of special treatment. One day, when the club closed, she left to go drinking with one of the gigolos. “This is it, they’re going all the way this time,” I thought. The next day, I asked him, “How did it go?”

“Boss, even in the dark, an undoable woman is still and undoable woman.”

 

Apparently they had gone to a hotel, but it wouldn’t stand up. “What’s the matter, XXXchan?” she had said. “What do YOU think?!?” he had wanted to reply! Instead he said, “Very sorry, work has been quite tiring recently, so I’m in bad shape. Let’s quit for tonight.” And then she goddamn said, “So? That’s too bad! You’ll have to try harder next time.” And she only paid him his regular allowance!!!! He kept continuously apologizing from the bottom of his heart, but she still wouldn’t give him any more money! He was doing penance for his thing not standing up! In the end, sometimes being loved by a customer is very tiring indeed.


 

GIGOLOS WHO HAVE GOTTEN MURDERED OVER WOMEN

 

My club is in Shinjuku’s Kabukicho district. To the average person, it’s got a pretty dangerous, scary image. But, if a host works there regularly, the customers will come regularly. There’s a lot of Yakuza (or what we call “the Groups”) coming and going around here, always fighting over territory, but of course I’m not allowed to talk about that, am I? But I’ve been working in Kabukicho for over thirty-three years and seen a lot in that time. As a manager, I’ve tried to have a very resolute stance against gang interference. Better to be friends with the police, I say! But still in the beginning of my career, I was involved in many dangerous situations. Like one of my hosts got in a quarrel with a yakuza, so of course I had to go out in the street to deal with it. He yelled at us to come out of the building, and then abruptly threw an ashtray at my head.

 

My wife really can’t stand Yakuza. One time they barged in our club, and she ran ahead of me to confront them: “What is your business? If you aren’t a customer, perhaps you should go home!” She really doesn’t know how the world works! I could only wait nervously at her side for their response. Of course, they said, “The fuck is up with this broad??” and so on. There were way too many close calls such as that.

 

Like one time, a Yakuza got angry and stood on a table, throwing anything he could get his hands on ? glasses, dishes, plates! One of the thrown things smacked my wife square on the forehead, which was covered in red. The hosts ran around like headless chickens, “We have to call an ambulance! Mama’s got a scar!” The ambulance soon came, and we got in. My wife didn’t lose consciousness. In fact, she was daubing at the red on her forehead quite nonchalantly, as if this happened everyday. In the end, it turned out that the plate which hit her was covered in ketchup! “Well, I thought it didn’t hurt as much as it should, with that much red,” she said, climbing out of the ambulance. How the lady got such nerves of steel I don’t know.

 

I have one more story about my wife and the mob. I was driving home after work and encountered the usual traffic jams. No matter how long I waited, it gave no indication of moving! There was no sign of road construction. “Is it an accident?” I wondered. I got out of my car, looking at the other cars, motionless like a line of chained prisoners. I walked towards the front of the jam. As I did so, I heard a lady yelling: “I don’t care about your excuses! Even if you ARE Yakuza, you guys have to follow the rules about traffic jams!” and so on. Wait, I knew that voice. The traffic jam was started by my wife arguing with the mob!

 

But even if I keep my distance from Yakuza, I can’t stop mob-connected guys’ wives from coming into my gigolo club. Sometimes it’s even the wife of a kanbu (mid-level gang leader, something like a capo) that’s coming in! That lady is always bringing some young thugs with her, so she’s pretty easy to recognize. We always have to be careful around Neh-san, as we call her. But a customer is a customer so we have to pretend everything is normal and wait on her. Women in her class are pretty glamorous creatures. With the latest western clothes, and a sexy look in their eyes. But they’re also kind of scary because they have been through the slaughterhouse of life, and barely escaped. It gives them a fearful dignity, like some wildness is just barely hidden beneath their poised surface. So she’d sometimes come in, and eventually made good friends with one of the younger hosts. Too good of friends.

 

The host was named Mr. Sakura. Nee-san lived separately from and her capo husband. She eventually asked Mr. Sakura to move in with her and her child. They tried to keep it a secret, but that kind of situation is hard to hide!

 

“That Sakura, he’s working here, ain’t he?” ? it was a phone call from one of the young mob associates. “This is gonna get worse before it gets better,” I thought. I soon told Mr. Sakura to take off work early and get out of Dodge. Just then, the Yakuza barged in the front door of the club. “Mr. Sakura never came in to work today, I don’t know where he is,” I said. I kept feigning ignorance for as long as I could, hoping to give him time to escape. I prayed desperately from my heart that he would be able to reach safety. But in the end, he was unable to complete his escape ? turns out that he took a wrong turn on the way out of Kabukicho and got caught. His body turned up in a cave in a mountain in Gunma prefecture. I can’t bear to think about what happened to him!

 


 

CHEATING DEATH THROUGH QUICK THINKING

 

Mr. Igarashi was a gigolo who lost his life in a conflict with Yakuza. There was no good reason; it was a case of mistaken identity. The crime took place right outside the front door of my club! After work, Igrashi had no sooner left the building than he was surrounded by a number of big guys. They said, “What’s up?” and shook his hand. In the next instant, they’d shot him in the gut one time. He fell over, lying face up on the ground, with his chest open. Of course I was shivering. He hadn’t even done any thing wrong. It was such a pathetic incident! I myself had a dangerous experience, didn’t I? It was really honestly fucked. I’d made friends with a hostess at an Ikebukuro club I often went to. We went to a hotel. We kept the lights out until we’d finished our business, so it was only afterwards that I saw the gang tattoo on her back. “That is so very not good,” I thought. When asked, she said that yes, her husband (!) was in prison (!!) and was getting out soon (!!!).

 

Naturally I left and didn’t see her again. But soon I got a phone call from her: “come over here now!” She sounded really desperate so I went to her apartment. It was obvious she’d been beaten up really recently. Her face was red and swollen and there was blood coming out of her nose onto the floor. Honestly it made me tremble to even look at it: “Next time it’ll be me!” I thought. I looked at her and saw the accusation in her eyes. I soon realized why when she said, “I didn’t tell him anything about you, so no problem!” We parted with goodwill. To the bitter end, I insisted to her husband that I had had nothing to do with her, over and over. I shudder to think what would have happened if either of us had told the truth. I lecture my young gigolos time and time again, “Don’t make a blunder with gang-affiliated customers!”

 


 

THE END OF MONEY IS THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP

 

Business is a very ruthless environment. Many things pass between the gigolo and the customer, but always the first thing to pass is money. Therefore, whatever private relationship they have is quite rightly dissolved when the money runs out. This is especially true of a lady over 50 who is giving him a weekly allowance in exchange for enjoying his pseudo-love. Rather than risk the humiliation of rejection, many of them voluntarily withdraw from such a relationship when they run out of money.

 

There’s four kinds of women that have a lot of money:

Female CEOs, wives of CEOs, widows with insurance cash, and high-end hookers. Especially older widows ? if they wait too long they can’t get a second marriage and have to live out the remainder of their lives alone until they die. To them, it is only right and proper to use the host club as a sort of oasis. Using nothing but money, they can spend every day surrounded by gorgeous gigolos! It is also possible to sex the young men. Other women may have looks, and that’s fine, but for those without looks, money is the only way to get this oasis.

 

There was one widow in her forties. Her husband had been the president of a famous mid-level company, She’d gotten married to him at 20, and spent the next 20 years living only for him. She was a shut-in housewife. She even didn’t have children because he didn’t like the idea. Suddenly he dropped dead, and so she had a considerable inheritance as well as insurance money. But no matter how much money they have, a woman alone in her forties with no family is going to be lonely. If she had worked at a white collar job, she would have many chances to meet co-workers or business partners, and maybe eventually receive an offer of “second-marriage” from them. But unluckily for her, she didn’t know anything outside of her own family. So it turned out that she had to go to our club! She was, I am afraid to say, the kind of customer that gigolos don’t like: older, overweight, and always making the same “I’m tired” face. But she spent the money, so she could get waited on by a small harem of somewhat popular hosts, which she seemed to enjoy.

 

She’d been coming for about two months, when she started seeing her favorite gigolo outside the club. Every date, she would give him an allowance of $1000, and they’d go to a hotel. They had a physical relationship too, didn’t they? There was no way for the host to fall in love with her: he simply regarded her as a SUPONSAA(sponsor). But after a time, her inheritance gradually ran out. She had no wages from a job, and couldn’t very well take money out of her old-age pension either. Her gigolo’s allowance slowly went down, to $500, then $300! And her appearances at the club became more rare. She was a proud woman, who could still remember being young , beautiful, and having men give HER an allowance to stay in her favor. She couldn’t stand being a beggar, so in the end, she cut off contact with the hosts. Once in a while, he would call her and invite her to the club, but she only said, “I don’t want to see you anymore!” and hung up. She is still out there somewhere, living alone, isn’t she? But I like to think that for a brief time, we helped her live out a woman’s dream.


would you want these guys to teach you about fashion??


 

CHAPTER THREE:

LADIES WHO ARE CRAZY WITH JEALOUSY, AND LADIES WHO CAN ENDURE IT


 

EIGHT LADIES ASSEMBLED IN ONE ROOM.

 

A host club can be a soothing place for the ladies, but also it can lead to their destruction, can’t it? To me, obviously it’s ultimately a healing place for women if they know what they’re doing; the problem is, most customers have no idea how to date a host! They make mistake after mistake, always looking for love in the wrong way. The ladies who have it in the back of their mind that they’ll find true love are especially in trouble! Hosts are, incidentally, very popular. And yet every customer wants to monopolize a host, and have a private, secret relationship with him:

 

“I’ll only meet you like this!” is what the host is expected to say, so that’s what he says. At least that’s the way I did it! But, don’t you believe it: not just hosts, but all men say such lies.

 

Only a woman who has been cheated on can really understand what a man means when he says, “Baby, you know I love only you, really!” He keeps goddamn saying it even though he has a wife and kids at home. That’s just men’s sex drive; there’s nothing anyone can do about it. So, women should really think about my words before dating a guy!

 

Meet Mr. Kazushi, the number one host at my club NEW LOVE, He’s only twenty:six years old but he is a stone pro! He can make a customer fall for him in one evening. And when you do that to every customer in the club, you’re in trouble! To hosts, there’s a line between “meeting in the club” and “dating.” And offering to cross that line is the most potent weapon in our arsenal, so most hosts use it as a last resort. But, Mr. Kazushi deploys it at the beginning! And that’s what keeps his customers coming to the club. The man undeniably has a passion for business! I’ll leave it at that.

 

One time, Mr. Kazushi he caught a cold and went home to lay down. The cold didn’t go away, so he stayed home from work. The customer who had requested him got very worried and called him at home ? she thought that was appropriate because she was his special girlfriend. But in fact, every customer of his ? in the club and out of it — , thought the same exact thing. It takes a Number One host to pull off a feat of that magnitude ? he must have felt really proud.

 

Like an idiot, she figured, “If I don’t go wish him well, he’ll die!” so she drove to his house to check. What’s more, eight women did the same exact thing, which is even more scary than it sounds. At first, they came one by one, and each withdrew thinking, “I’ll check back again tomorrow.” He was lucky; not one of them met any of the others.

 

But another day, a customer coming to wish him well ran into another lady doing the same: “Mr. Kazushi, are you doing ok? Wait, who is that?” “It’s not what it looks like! She’s just here to wish me a speedy recovery.” “Um. Well. How do you do?” While this conversation was unfolding, yet another woman walked in. And another. And another!

 

Mr. Kazushi broke out in a cold sweat. Now he had to be the mediator ? it was no time to be sick! By the time the fifth woman arrived, he was soaked in sweat from head to toe, while all the while trying to entertain his guests with bad jokes. But the atmosphere grew more and more ominous.

 

The doorbell rang yet again ? finally the eighth woman had come. “He’s been waiting for me to save him,” she must have been thinking! At last, all the women were arrayed before him in full force. Here is where it starts to get really interesting! At first the women kept each other in check. But as you’d expect, it was not long before they realized they were all in the same boat, and they began to console each other. From there it was a short step to colluding with each other, and then on to accusing Kazushi!

 

“Oh my goodness, what you’ve been through! For the sake of seeing me, he must have neglected you terribly!” “Quite the reverse, you’re the one suffering here! You must have endured so much from him!” “Yes, he is the one who is bad!” and so on, in the fashion of an eight-man ambush. It no longer bore the slightest resemblance to a get-well visit!! What’s more, Mr. Kazushi had to stay in bed all week!

 

According to Mr. Kazushi, each woman had her respective weak points. The first time he dated them, he would search for that point, and confirm its existence. Thereafter, he would attack it, and that’s how he was able to ensnare so many ladies. So, to give you a better idea of the gigolo’s business mind, let’s line up the ladies’ weak points:

 

  • office lady.

She was never scolded by her parents as a child, so I’ll give her a scolding

 

  • hostess

She hates her job. I’ll let her complain all she wants.

 

  • massage lady

She hates her job, plus she begs to be alone with me. I’ll give her that, too.

 

  • soapland lady

She despises her customers, and how disgusting her job is. I’ll let her complain all she wants.

 

  • porn star

She misses having “regular sex.” I’ll give her only the most mediocre sex possible.

 

  • office lady #2

She hates her job and boss. It sounds as bad as the soapland lady! I’ll just listen and say, “Oh no he di’int!” until she’s done.

 

  • university student

She has no taste! I’ll let her go shopping with me.

 

8. insurance saleswoman

She likes to consult with me about her work, and likes it when I say, “How did you close that account?” or, “That’s not the proper way! If it were me, I’d. . . .” She’s easy to satisfy.

 

Do you get it? You also have a weak point like that, don’t you? It’s a simple technique to use – by flattering their respective weak points, he got eight ladies in his room at the same time. (mr. Aida seems to have completely forgotten that this was a bad thing) If you want to charm YOUR man, it’s an easy knack for you to acquire as well.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER ONE: Gently and classily tell the man your special weak points ? what he can do to please you, and what he should never do.

 

 


 

A JEALOUS FRENZY ERUPTS INTO ATTEMPTED MURDER

 

“Silent and constant endurance” used to be considered important for women’s aesthetics. But nowadays, those women are few and far between, am I right? However, there was one customer who behaved that way. She was a hostess around twenty years old. Let’s call her Hitomi. After her work, she’d come to NEW LOVE, and quickly fell for Mr. Kazushi, who was our number-one at the time. He was one of those guys who would only date ladies with really pretty faces, but even he was charmed by Hitomi, and soon they moved in together.

 

At first, she was really glad. After all, she’d had to outwit many rivals in order to obtain a Number One host! She still came to our club, but soon found that she couldn’t endure seeing Kazushi with other ladies. But after all, he was at work! So naturally he couldn’t help drinking and talking to whoever wanted him. Not only did she quit coming to our club, but soon she ceased going out altogether. She’d come home from her club and silently wait for Kazushi to return home. But, after work it is normal for hosts to go drinking with customers who are giving them an allowance. Even on his days off, he had respons i bilites to top-paying customers. Often he didn’t come home at all ? it’s tough being Number One, isn’t it?

 

At those times, Hitomi would just sit at home, waiting and thinking. Most women who are dating or married to a gigolo beg them to quit, but in Hitomi’s case, she just waited quietly, because she loved him so much. She didn’t even complain. But gradually her mental state grew strange. Kazushi noticed it, of course ? she couldn’t speak articulately, and even her apologies for this were inconsistent and incoherent! She was on the dope really bad. Japan is a pretty strict country, but there are still places where you can get drugs. From comparatively weak dope like Marijuana to things with more extreme effects like LSD, speed, heroin, and cocaine, there is a lot available to a young lady. Whether it was the influence of drugs, or simply to get his attention, she had also started cutting her arms.

 

It seems that Hitomi started with sleeping pills, and then moved on to illegal dope. I don’t know if she was just lonely, or if she was confused by her lover, but in any case her heart gradually became more and more unbalanced. Whether you’re a man or woman, it can be bad living alone. You find yourself thinking the same thoughts over and over again. You want to quit but you can’t stop thinking them. And in Hitomi’s case, the man she loved was out, playing around with other women, so she developed a jealous heart.

 

One day, an incident finally occurred. Kazushi came home one morning after work, and started to change out of his work clothes. Suddenly, Hitomi collided with him from the back. In that instant, he felt as if his back were burning with intense heat, he said. She was gripping a knife in her hand, and when she pulled it out of him, blood spilled everywhere. At that point, she sunk weakly to the floor, crying, with an utterly exhausted expression on her face. Luckily, he got to the hospital and was patched up without any complications. Still, it took more than ten sti t ches to close the wound! He didn’t lose his life, though. It seems as if she wasn’t really trying to kill him, am I right? Incidentally, when people are driven into a corner, they will eventually lash out, and hurt themselves or their partner. But this is only done to demonstrate the extent of their love.

 

W as Hitomi driven to such extreme violence because she tried to endure silently, like a good, traditional Japanese daughter. . . . or was it just because she loved him so much? E ither way, she shouldn’t have been so patient with him ? she was bound to snap sooner or later! If your boyfriend is a gigolo, there is simply no way to monopolize him. If you can’t endure that, then it is better to break up with him. If you carry the “silent endurance” routine too far, both people will get hurt in the end. But then again, that’s fundamentally what love is about!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER TWO: it’s important to grin and bear your partner’s faults, but don’t take it too far. Eventually someone is going to snap, and then there will be injuries.


 

PRODUCING A SOCCER TEAM OF ABORTED FETUSES???

 

At NEW LOVE, there’s a host named Aoyama Ryou. He’s a great guy and really popular, so he’s been Number One more times than I can remember. Understandably, there’s been an uncountable number of cases where he’s gotten a customer pregnant. One time, I said to him, “Ryou, you’re trying too hard! You already made enough babies to start a baseball team!” – – to which he replied without missing a beat, “Boss, if they were all born, I could’ve started a soccer team.” I think it would’ve been good if he kept all the babies he made, but he chose to go the route of abortion. “If that’s the case, he should never have gotten anyone pregnant to begin with,” the reader with a kind heart might say. But if a man and a lady have some love meetings, I have to admit, eventually there will be a baby!

 

Ryou wasn’t just playing around with his ladies; he really liked them, so that’s why they got pregnant so often, he used to say. And when they got pregnant they showed their most essential deep nature, for better or worse. Some would say, “I’ll have it but only because it’s yours!” Others would take the first opportunity to declare, “I’ll raise it myself so you should give me the support money.” When he’d ask them to get an abortion, some would go into a frenzy, saying, “It’s no joke! Take care of your responsibility!”

 

One of them was very stoic about it. When he told her, “I’m very sorry, but I’m not ready to be a father right now,” she just silently nodded. He made an appointment for them to go to the clinic together, but she went earlier, to get an abortion on her own, without telling him. The next time they met, he said, “You went by yourself?” She smiled and nodded. “Please forgive me,” he said, and bowed his head. At that instant, a huge flood of tears erupted from her eyes, and she collapsed into his chest. She’d been stretched to the limit, and his words had snapped her like a string. I’m afraid that she really did love him. She decided to go on her own to spare him the burden of watching her abortion. When a woman acts with such silent strength, we men are always at a loss for what to do. Mr. Ryou, too, couldn’t help but cry and hold her close. To men, a woman who is strong and quiet in equal measure is such a precious thing.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER THREE: men have a weakness for a woman’s silent affection. If you can love quietly, you will become a stronger woman.

 

( Jesus, this fucking guy. )


 

THE CRYING PROSTITUTE WHO SAYS, “PLEASE DON’T GO TO THE BROTHEL!”

( “soapland” or “soap” refers to a kind of brothel where naked ladies give you a bath and then some sexing)

(fuzoku refers to the Japanese sex industry, as opposed to the nominally sex-free host/hostess business)

 

You’d never expect it, but the truth is that most hosts have never been to a fuzoku place! Every day at work they’re surrounded by females so they wouldn’t think about going out of their way to pay money to be with yet another woman! But, there are some gigolos who by some chance, wind up going to a fuzoku and get hooked on it.

 

“OMG! She did this and that to me! I was so surprised!” young Mr. Chiba once said, af t er his first time.

 

What in the world did he expect her to do at such a place, I wonder?!? To gigolos, women are subjects for him to service. So for him to be serviced by a woman can be leave quite a strange impression! Some hosts totally lose their cool when the fuzoku lady starts to service them. They frantically try to give her pleasure, then leave in quite a hurry! I t ’s a consequence of our lifestyle. “I paid the money and serviced her! Why did I bother going at all?” H e ’ll say to himself afterwords, while cocking his head in thought.

 

This happens even to very seasoned, professional hosts. Their only relationships with women are on a business level, so even if they go to a fuzoku, they’ll shrewdly try to win her heart just out of habit. Sometimes they even get her to follow them home! If that happens, the next development is that she’ll start coming to my club, or perhaps become their steady girl — Of course the best PATAAN (pattern) is that she’ll become a regular customer, right?

 

It’s often said that prostitutes are the most kindhearted, lonely girls. The fuzoku industry runs the gamut, from “light” jobs like hostess, to more “heavy” jobs such as pink salons, image clubs, fashion health, and soapland. But in any case, the harder the work, the more kindhearted the lady, is what they say.

 

In my experience, too, the soapland girls are the most kind. They work so hard at their jobs, and when they leave their store, they ask only to be treated with the same respect as anyone else. There’s actually a lot of gigolos living together with soapland girls. The Yoshiwara neighborhood is famous for soaplands, as is Kabukicho. But I have to admit, Kabukicho’s quality is no match for Yoshiwara’s. Once they start dating, she’ll generally say something like, “Whatever you do, please don’t go to soapland!” Even though she’s touching so many unknown men daily, she’s jealous of her boyfriend going there! It appears to be a mutual antagonism between soap ladies.

 

I’m afraid that women who have emotionless sex on a daily basis will demand real affection from their partners, much more than regular girls. “I’m giving you all my love, so you can love only me in return!” is their true feeling. Therefore, if they’re living with a guy, they don’t really demand physical love from him so much. They just want to be together with him. So, compared to everyday girls, soapland girls will work much harder to win his heart. But sometimes, their kindness goes too far, and becomes obsession.

 

Mr. Ryou, too, had a customer who worked at soapland. They wound up moving in together, but she was very old-fashioned. She would meekly do everything to please her man. She was very popular at her job, too, and made quite a good living. But she was also quite a lonely, clingy girl. First, she would not forgive Ryou for staying out after work. “Come straight home, ok?” she’d request, with a pleading face.

 

If he told her about a friend of his that went to soapland, she’d start crying and wail, “Please don’t ever go there yourself!” H e decided to bear with the stressful relationship , but. . . j ust like a salariman, a gigolo wants to let his hair down and relax a bit after work. Especially with a stressful job like ours, where we deal with people all day long!

 

One day, without telling his girl in advance, Ryou stayed out all night. He’d drunk quite a bit of alcohol , so he forgot to call her too! Now, Ryou was a huge baseball fan, and had his own team. On his days off, he’d always be enjoying a good game. But when he came home after his night of drinking, he found that his favorite glove and spikes were in the trash bin! As you expect, he snapped! He broke up with her right there . Being kindhearted is a great thing, but you don’t want to bind up your partner! Even if your man is not a professional gigolo, it’ll lead to a breakdown.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER FOUR: you shouldn’t bind your man with too many restrictions. If you mistake clinginess for affection, he’ll soon find he can’t even breathe, and he’ll escape!


 

THE GIRL THAT SPENT $100,000 AND THEN FLEW AWAY

 

Pick up a newspaper and you’ll find many stories of people ruined by money troubles. At my club, too, there are a lot of customers who lost all their money!

 

This one housewife, she married a company president, and he put her in charge of the family finances, didn’t he? Every day she spent around $2000 of that budget at my club! In her handbag she had a fat roll of bills, and when she’d get drunk, she’d flash it at the host to impress him. Every now and again, she’d ask for a certain host and, just like that, give him an allowance of $10,000. And not just a host she was really hot for ? any gigolo nearby might receive the money she scattered around! One day, she stopped to consult with me: “Boss, can I ask you something?” she said. “It’s terrible, but my husband seems to have caught on that our savings are dwindling.” Well, what did she think would happen, spending money like that! “What shall I ever do?” I had no answer. I never meant to let her spend such dirty money gotten through deception.

 

“Well, we’re in trouble now, aren’t we?” I replied. I made a very sympathetic face, but inside I thought, “Great! We’re going to lose one of our biggest customers.” It’s all too common : women with no sense of economics don’t last too long at a host club! They mistake their husband’s hard-earned money for their own, use it recklessly, and then get caught. How many cases of this have I seen where this was grounds for divorce? Really rich people know when to call it quits, because they are knowledgable about finances!

 

At our club, we have an “accounts receivable” system. If you are a fat customer, you can pay all your bills at the end of the month ? often this is around $100,000, isn’t it? Of course, the luxurious customer who arrives every time in a Mercedes Benz will wind up spending even more! On the other hand, some customers suddenly stop showing their face around the club come the end of the month. One time, I had a bad feeling about this, so I made her usual host call her. “Bad news, Boss. She flew away!” When we say “fly,” we mean someone with outstanding debts who goes into hiding . We tried telephoning her but it the number was no longer in service. Quickly I made him go to her house to collect the money. If a host can’t collect an outstanding debt, it comes out of his pay, so he has to furiously collect them! But in this case, he was already too late ? the customer had moved. In such an unlucky case, he has to give up. Hosts can also get ruined over money!

 

Now, a few weeks after she moved, the host ran up to me, calling, “Boss! Boss! Have you seen the newspaper?” Sure enough, there was a report of a woman who escaped with $100,000 in unpaid bills. “They arrested her for fraud!” he said. But it wasn’t only fraud: she had no less than seven prior convictions for shoplifting and luggage theft! As you would expect, I was furious that I had not been able to see through her cute facade back when she was a regular! Recently, a lady who was indiscriminately generous to the gigolos was in the TV news: she got arrested for embezzling $1,000,000 in cash. Women who play with dirty money are bound for trouble!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER FIVE: no one likes a lady who’s using ill-gotten money! You should learn to distinguish right from wrong, and how to use money intelligently.


 

THE CUSTOMER WHOSE DAUGHTER BECAME A PROSTITUTE

When a woman doesn’t pay her debts, I have to directly confront her with a severe attitude. But, we aren’t Yakuza, so we can’t “Pluck the chicken” (force a person or business into bankruptcy and take all their assets by intimidation) buuuut. . . we sometimes can introduce them to the manager of a soapland, so they can make a living that way. To put it in a vulgar way, that kind of lady is said to be “sinking in the bath!” I can’t say anything bad about women who voluntarily choose that life, but I would never force a woman to work there. But there was this one case. . .

 

Mama was a regular customer of ours. She came in so often that she couldn’t pay her “accounts receivable.” We went to her house to collect, but she said, “I am unable to pay, so it’s a problem. Honestly, a s soon as I get money, I’ll give it to you,” she said with her head bowed. There was no way to collect. “I’m really very sorry, please wait a while. I’m begging you!” she said, and left. Two weeks later, we phoned her : “I’ll have the money in a bit. I made my daughter go work at the soapland!” was her casual reply . The family was only the mother and daughter, so how in the world could I know what they were thinking? She was selling her daughter’s body to pay back money that she herself pissed away ? I couldn’ t believe it!

 

In feudal times, sometimes poor farmers would, in desperation, sell their children’s bodies. Even in my childhood in the countryside, people often told stories of this. But, it seems it is still going on! And some of these people are customers of ours. Really, it makes your heart ache.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER SIX: don’t be under the thumb of your parents. If your family makes an unreasonable request, clearly turn them down.


 

THE HOST WHO WAS FORCIBLY MARRIED TO THE LOVER OF THE BIG-SHOT.

 

Our story begins with a customer, a young lady who became the “kept woman” of a wealthy married man, and many years passed in luxury.

 

Back in the old days, it was normal for a nobleman to have a concubine. After the war, it was still common for a rich man to have “Number one wife” and “number two wife.” And I’ve heard of cases where a man, his wife, and his lover live together. But nowadays this kind of high-quality man doesn’ t exist anymore, and besides, there are very few women left who aspire to be kept in this way. Today, such lovers are compelled to hide their shady existence at all times. There are people who receive money from their lover, and never have to work, but in the end it’s a lonely feeling, isn’t it? We have many customers in just this situation. Getting money from a rich man doesn’t satisfy them, so they come to the club in search of something that will!

 

(deeeyamm)

 

There’s a gigolo named Kazama. He, too, was a concubine for a while! As for the rich lady who chose him, well, let’s just call her “The lover of Japan’s national treasure.” ? he’s too much of a bigshot to use his real name. I’ll leave it to you to guess who I’m talking about! She’d been his mistress for 20 years, and he was getting really ancient. “He still won’t leave his wife for me! He won’t have kids and make a normal family with me!” she thought to herself. I guess that’s why she started dating Kazama. She was really crazy about him, wasn’t she? She’d come in every day, and give him such an allowance! Eventually she started feeling real love for him.

 

One day she came to the club and, without warning, suddenly said, “Kazama-chan! I made us be legally married! I wrote your name in my family register down at the courthouse!” Kazama stared at her dumbfounded with his mouth open. He’d broken out in a cold sweat, and eventually managed a nervous laugh.

 

“You’re joking?”

 

“What are you saying??? Of course I’m serious! It’s fine, darling, I did it all for you!”

 

“But, I never signed the documents with my official seal!”

 

“But that time I visited your house, I kind of borrowed your official seal. So that’s how I made our marriage officially legal. Thanks for that!” she goddamn said, placing his official seal on the table gently. If nothing else, you have to admire the woman’s guts!

 

Her obsession with Kazama revealed an insane part of her that she’d kept hidden until now. But it was only because she wanted a normal family so badly that she became obsessed. After that, this story gets even longer and more painful. Let’s just say he suffered a 10,000,000 annoyances at her hands. She was sturdy enough to pick up the pieces of her life after the inevitable breakup, I think. In the end, women have to be very sturdy to just survive!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER SEVEN: Women have to have a robust, sturdy will to live. So, it’s important to get a partner who shares your pace of life.


 

AT MY CLUB, A HOUSEWIFE TURNS INTO THE PERSONIFICATION OF “WOMANHOOD”

 

Recently the gigolo-club-management law has changed, so we can no longer stay open all night. Therefore, we split the club into two parts. Part One is open from evening until 1 AM. Part two is open from five AM until around 10. Naturally, the main customers of Part Two are hostesses and prostitutes, who work all through the night and want to relax afterwards. But there’s some housewives there, too! They get up early to see their husband off, and then take their child to school, and then gallop off to the gigolos!

 

Housewives are always playing the role of the wife and mother, so naturally they demand a place where they can be a lady to their heart’s content. T o them, the host club is a pretty cool place, isn’t it? When they first come, they are very tentative and reserved, but as they get used to the club, they often suddenly explode with pent-up energy! In the end, performing the roles of wife and mother every single day must be a lot of stress.

 

At ORIGINAL LOVE, there’s a host named Junpei. This guy, he’s so popular with the housewives. One customer in particular picks him every time ? she’s thirty-one years old, has kids, and is married to the president of a design office, so she has plenty of money, doesn’t she? At one point, she was coming in almost every day. He asked her about it, and apparently her husband seldom came home anymore ? he’d stay out all night at some Ginza club.

 

“Well, h e’s the president of the company, so he probably has to entertain a lot of clients.”Junpei suggested. “Fuuu….” She muttered, while puffing on a cigarette and making a bitter face. “He’s found a good girl, I bet.” She had conclusive evidence of an affair, and in any case she wanted to confront him. As you can imagine, Junpei tried to stop her. Nevertheless, she fairly spat her reply, “He brought it on himself!”

 

She was really trying to win Junpei’s affection by lavishing money on him, and even started meeting him outside of the club. It appeared she was trying to get revenge on her husband. One time in a frenzy, she tried to take Junpei back to her own home! If they weren’t careful, her husband would catch them. But, that was kind of crazy. She really thought to pay her husband back by showing him her affair with a young and virile gigolo! Put another way, she wanted to hold a mirror up to his own behavior.

 

From Junpei’s point of view, it was easy to see how the housewife was using him. Naturally, he became quite cold to her – He was trying to do business, not get in a fight over a lover. Not long after, she came back to the club all full of bluster: “I divorced him!” B ut then after that, she stopped coming. Since she had already avenged herself, she had no reason to come to the club, it seems.

 

This is a case of someone using a host club incorrectly! The customer who has a family, should use the host club to lubricate the stress of family management, then return happily home to that family, and live happily ever after. She should come in, have some laughs as if she was a young lady again, play around for an appropriate time, then return home and take her children to kindergarten. Of course, she should exist harmoniously with her husband, too! We feel really good about serving this kind of customer.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 8: the more that you take care of your family, the more you’ll be able to enjoy the host club. Family life and your own playtime can be compatible and consistent!

 


 

THE GANGSTER’S WIFE THAT CHOSE THE YOUNG HOST

 

Kabukicho is Japan’s most infamous Yakuza neighborhood, so naturally there are a fair number of gangsters’ wives around, too. We call them Nee-san. I know I already wrote about this, but you really have to be careful of them! I tell the hosts this many times a day. But it’s difficult because they’re usually really gorgeous. I myself, time and time again, before I even knew it, I found myself on the brink of going somewhere with them! Especially the high-ranking gangster’s wives, they have a certain atmosphere about them. They look like Iwashita Shima, an actress who is famous for her gangster roles.

 

This one Neesan was a regular customer of NEW LOVE. She’d arrive with a full entourage of two black cars with tinted windows, accompanied by five or six young thugs! She would look really magnificent in her Japanese-style fashion; even more striking because she was surrounded by all these really stern guys! Deeeyammn! It was like a procession. Guys have a weakness for this kind of dangerous, yet dignified woman.

 

She’d always request our Number One, and then we’d show them to their secluded table in the back of the club and leave them alone. The young thugs would sit at a different table, drinking sake. When it was time, they’d pick her up and leave the same way they arrived. One time, she gave her host a present: a new BMW. Naturally, he knew this was going to be trouble. “Take it back!” he said. She didn’t especially want to have an affair with him, she explained. He was cute and he always took such good care of her, so she wanted to give him a little reward. But still, it would look bad, wouldn’t it, to receive this kind of present from this kind of lady. What was she thinking? You have to be careful not to cross the line. But on the other hand, for him to return her gift could be interpreted as disrespect, too! I could only stand on the sidelines and watch in suspense to see how she’d react.

 

Some younger hosts who can’t tell right from wrong wind up getting along far too well with their Yakuza-wife customers, and as for the person who has to deal with the consequences, I feel sorry for him! Because often that person is me! I have had on occasion to go to the gang’s headquarters to apologize. I’v e had my ass kicked too, BOKO BOKO style.

But, it’s easy to understand why a guy would fall for them, in the end.

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER NINE: Men have a weakness for 毅然 women. (women who have a dauntless, resolute attitude). There are always men collected around the periphery of a lady who has this kind of captivating atmosphere.


THE LADY WHO HAD A LOT OF TRAUMAS.

 

I’m grateful to all the customers that bring the money to t he club, but there is a difference between real rich people, and those who are temporarily rich, but still lowbrows at heart. Just because they have money that week, they think they can come in and be a big-shot, but it’s easy to spot the pretenders.

 

We had this one customer Ms. M, right? The first time, she came in with two helpers, and only spent $100. All in all, a very ordinary customer. But next time, she came in alone, wearing such garish Western clothes. Armandi, Fendi, things like that , which she wanted to show off. Her spending was also much more luxurious! She’d fling around two ? or three-hundred dollar tips . And not just the host she chose , either , but other hosts that helped him entertain her. I was worried about her spending so much, so I asked her about it. “My husband is the president of a prominent real-estate concern,” she responded. “And he lets me use our savings however I want!” she goddamn continued, just as if a hundred women hadn’t wrecked their marriages in exactly this way.

 

As time went on, her spending got more and more wild and uncontrollable: $8,000 or even $10,000 bottles of Kamyo Crystal. Of course, as a businessman I was glad to have this business, but I knew it wouldn’t last. One day, as she was ordering another bottle, she said, “Hey, can you loan me some money?” Since she’d always paid her debts, I said, ok, sure. That was that time. The next time, she didn’t pay for anything!

 

I don’t like turning people down flat, so I let her continue one-sidedly borrowing money. But it was quickly turning into a large sum! I called her house, and her husband answered!!! When I explained the situation, his only reaction was, “Is that so? I understand.” After a few days, I met him at the Shinjuku Hilton. “I’m very sorry, but this is all the money I can pay you this time. I give you my word that I will repay all of it soon, though,” he said, politely handing over an envelope stuffed with cash. He looked very athletic, and later told me he used to be a rugby player. “She’s got a problem, doesn’t she?” he blurted out.

 

Her father is in the Yakuza, and her mother ran away when she was very young. Her father put her in the orphanage! Then,when she was four years old, she was sent to live with Kineya Ichimon, who was famous for performing traditional shamisen songs. She was lucky insofar as Kineya’s family was high-class, and respected in the community. She should have been happy, but it was not to be. From an early age, her stepfather would molest her. Her mother had flown the coop, and her real father, who was pretty angry at the mother , didn’t want anything to do with the child of his ex. So she had nowhere to turn when her stepfather would drag her into the bath-house behind the family mansion.

 

In any case, she was still a child and didn’t even know what was going on at first. Of course, her step-mother must have known about it, but in such an old-fashioned traditional family the wife would never directly confront the husband. And from that point, he abused her terribly. Besides rape, he also burned her arms with cigarettes. When she was in her second year of middle school, she was already pregnant by him and had to get an abortion. She couldn’t take it anymore , and ran away to Tokyo to begin working at a soapland. Of course that is very difficult job, but she couldn’t even consider returning home. She continued working there until her first marriage, to the illegitimate child of a famous movie star. But she never adapted to a housewife’s lifestyle, and she reverted back to working at soaplands.

 

I t was there that she met her current husband. From a normal person’s point of view, he did her a huge favor by marrying her. And again, at first their marriage was satisfactory. But by this point, she really was so damaged that she didn’t know how to lead a normal lifestyle. Cooking and cleaning were foreign concepts, to say nothing of washing clothes! The house was a mess ; she was spending money like crazy, buying rings and fur coats. Naturally, her husband was very concerned.

 

She would start crying like a baby, while apologizing, “I’m so sorry, so sorry!”. And yet, ten minutes later sh e was acting very nonchalant again. You could say she was an emotional roller coaster, being angry over nothing sometimes, and other times crying for no reason. It was like dealing with a child at those times. Her husband couldn’t stand idly by any longer, so he took her to a psychiatrist. But the psychiatrist had her popping ten kinds of pills every day! And she would vomit them all up when her husband wasn’t looking.

 

But out of all her bad habits, the most troubling to the husband was sex. She loved sex. Now, a woman who likes to fuck is not an especially bad thing, but she couldn’t go outside without picking up some strange men. Always walking up to them on the sidewalk, captivating them with her voice. It’s even possible that she had been searching for a partner at my club !

 

Her husband, having explained this far, let out a huge sigh. “Boss, I’m asking you, what should I do?” He turned to me with a bewildered expression, earnestly begging for my advice. What could I say? “To begin with, give me the rest of the money next time!” I said, and left.

 

But there’s lots more women with trauma, and life is very difficult for the men in their lives. My gigolos often come to me for a confidential talk when they get in trouble with such a lady. Sometimes a psychologist can fix the wounds of her heart, but mostly they revert back to their old ways. As for me, naturally I think the host club is the best place for such women to be healed!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER TEN: anyone at all can suffer a wound to their heart. No one chooses to get their heart scarred, but a lady can still choose what kind of life to lead.


 

THE LADY WHO KEPT BUGGING HIM FOR FELLATIO

 

I have had ample time to see how women have transformed over the past thirty-three years. When I first started gigolo-ing, the undisputed rulers of the club were the Unfaithful Housewifes, which we called “YOROMEKIMADAMU” (the tottering madams). This lifestyle was quite fashionable once. Since I opened my own club, though, the yoromekimadamu have been decreasing, and instead the mizu shobai customers have been steadily increasing. Recently, at last, very normal office ladies and college girls have finally started coming in! Host clubs are finally seen as legitimate.

 

But over the years, more than the customers’ jobs have changed. It’s often said that the traditional Japanese lady is very formal and shy. Back in the day, even if a customer wanted to sex a host, she would restrain herself from asking for it. She’d patiently wait for the man to invite her to the sexing ? it was considered very ladylike. Even today, most good girls don’t try to hit on men. They know what behavior is required to perform their role. They hint; they flirt, and then they wait! That’s the problem facing PURAITO (polite) girls, they still have to wait for the guy to make the first move. So it’s not so different from traditional Japan.

 

But gradually, our young customers are becoming bolder . Perhaps “bold” is a bit of a euphemism, if I were being more direct I’d call it “cheap.” For example, getting drunk and taking off their pantyhose under the table. If it was just the pantyhose it would be fine, but some customers are going all-nude. NO matter how drunk you are, that is not right! “Knowing how to drink gracefully” is a requirement for the good girl. And then there are other customers who are recklessly stroking the gigolos. It’s fine if it’s just a pat on the chest. And I understand that sometimes alcohol is necessary for free communication. But if it results in willy-nilly groping of the cro t ch area, I think there’s a rule about that, isn’t there? It’s a host-club, not a groping-club.

 

One time, there was a customer that always requested the same host, who was pretty popular at that time. She whispered in his ear, “Hey, If I pay, will you make me to do the fellatio? In the toilet? Because you’ll get three hundred dollars?”

 

Naturally he politely declined, but he was a little worried that she misunderstood the nature of the club. She was like a dirty old man going to a legitimate massage parlor and demanding sex from the masseuse! When a customer is this desperate, the hosts tend to think she must be very unpopular. She can’t get a date on the outside, so she comes here and we make her feel glamorous. But when she starts thinking she is so glamorous that it is really our privilege to sleep with her, she’s mistaken!

 

Whether you’re a man or woman, when you get drunk you can expose your true nature. I should hope that the people who get drunk at my club all have a fascinating true nature to share!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER ELEVEN: The good girl never parties so hard that she acts the goat. When she gets drunk, people find her notions fascinating rather than embarrassing.


 

CHAPTER FOUR: THE REQUIREMENTS FOR BEING LOVED BY A GIGOLO


 

MEN REQUEST THE HIGH-QUALITY LADIES

Out of all the customers of our club, who is the most popular with hosts, do you think? The beautiful girl? The good conversationalist? The kind lady? Consider this for a moment: which is it? Well, after all, it’s actually what we call “the hi -klass lady.” Ask anyone and he’ll tell you he likes class. Me too, I love a clasy lady. I guess it’s the fault of this mizushobai business, but we are attracted to ladies with a lot of class. Elegance, refinement, huge wads of cash money, call it what you will.

 

It’s difficult to describe a high-quality lady in terms of appearance. It’s more of an attitude that they learn from their parents. Her choice of words, her posture, her general demeanor, her whole manner is hi-class. It is especially easy to see in her drinking habits and table manners: they say you can tell someone’s sexual performance based on how they eat ? like an animal or like a human. It doesn’t mater how beautiful she is, if she eats like a slob, we’re can’t get excited about her. Similarly, even if she’s a very plain woman, if her table manners are elegant, men will come her way.

 

Sometimes women will get drunk and start laughing like GA- HA ?HA- HA ; like a dirty old man. Or sitting on the sofa with their knees apart. These kinds of women are AUTO (out!). You have to be prudent at all times, pay attention to your posture, and clothes, keep everything in place, or you’ll do something low-class. Class is not something you can turn off ? in fact, true class is only manifested if a lady keeps her composure even when things get rough. A classy lady will only express her real opinions or show her true face very rarely, which makes it that much more precious to us men. It is burning with sexiness! And of course this is not just hosts; average men feel the same way.

 

And as much as we dislike the vulgar women, I have to say that a vulgar woman pretending to be classy is the worst! The search for classiness is an eternal theme of womankind.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER TWELVE: be hi-class!

 


 

GORGEOUS MR. MATSUNO ’S ADVICE

 

Mr. Matsuno, the ex-husband of movie star Sawada Ayako, came to work at my club. As you are well aware, after his divorce he was struggling to support himself. When they first married, Ayako already had a child. She always played very glamorous, hip roles but off-screen she was a harried single mother. She had to work very hard to support her child. Matsuno was her manager at the time, and he was moved by her struggle, and wanted to help her, so he married her! But, after she married him, her life continued to center around her child and career. He still felt like an employee, rather than a partner. She was the star and he only had a supporting role. On top of that, she was a full Chinese zodiac calendar older than him. So they separated, didn’t they? It seems like there was no longer any love or trust between them. (ed. Note: Aida omits the part where he beat up his wife and caught a d.v. charge)

 

Matsuno naturally lost his manager’s job, and moreover was exiled from showbiz altogether. I was acquainted with him, and knew of his struggle, and so I could not stand idly by! He was really in dire financial straits, grasping at straws, you could say. That’s when I approached him with my job offer.

 

But there was a condition: he had to get plastic surgery.

 

Actually, I recommend that to all my hosts! If you want to be really successful in this field, looks are important. The baby boy born without any flaws is not going to have a problem, but most guys should get a little surgery. I can understand the objections, but in the end that’s the professional thing to do. If you’re not prepared to make sacrifices, you’ll never get anywhere in life. Matsuno heard my advice and decided to get the surgery. I booked him into Ootsuka clinic, which was very fashionable in those days, very hi-class, lots of advertisements. Considering how broke and outcast he was, Matsuno actually felt relieved to have the surgery ? it was like becoming a new man, wasn’t it? Even now, he’ll ask the customers, “Should I have had it done?” and they always say, “Absolutely!”

 

He likes to say, “The transformation was seventy percent mental!” That is to say, if you change your outward appearance, your way of thinking will also transform. He could go to work each day with a cheerful attitude. He wasn’t upset by little things anymore. At least that’s his experience, and it’s a persuasive one, isn’t it?

 

After that, he was able to get back in showbiz too, albeit in the role of “the butt of the jokes”. Originally he was a very serious man, but he was able to accept these undignified roles because he had more self-confidence now. Nowadays, in addition to being a host, he’s a singer, a pro wrestler, adult video actor ; he is a man of a thousand faces, you could say. His wrestling name is “gorgeous!”

 

He’ll even ask producers, “Do you have any work for me?” knowing that they’ll give him something undignified. That’s how dedicated he is to work. He’s a man who has seen the bottom of life, and resolved to never go there again. As for me, I never meant for his career to go so far! I had no motivation. But still, if the surgery helped him do things besides hosting, it was not a waste.

 

In any case, looks are not just important for hosts, you know! The person who still sticks to the opinion of, “Beauty is only skin deep,” can’t be very happy about their own appearance! If you young ladies are wondering if you should get surgery or not, come by my club and talk to Gorgeous!


the exciting conclusion of Mr. Aida's RULES OF BEING A BETTER LADY:

 

one of these dudes is a female! guess.


THE LADY THAT BECAME THE WIFE OF A NUMBER-ONE HOST

Here’s another story about Mr. Chiba ? after all, I’ve known him a long time! For a period of time, he was actually married. Not to a customer, but to an elevator girl from the Odakyuu department store.She looked like Matsushima Nanako , a traditional Japanese beauty.

 

The first time he saw her, he thought, “Can there really be such a gorgeous woman in this world?” If even the number-one host thinks that, you can tell how pretty she must have been. Her father was the educational director at a prominent university, and she herself was not just a pretty face ? she projected an atmosphere of cosmopolitan smarts. Naturally a mizushobai hustler like him would have a weakness for an urbane, classy intellectual like her.

 

They dated for a time and then he proposed to her. He met her father at a restaurant. As you can imagine, they were from two very different worlds ? a gigol o and a professor. When she had told him, “I want to marry a host,” he sure was surprised, wasn’t he? But he figured he should n’t judge Chiba without at least meeting him one time. They met near Kabukicho, which was a good idea. We hosts like to be on our own territory. If it was elsewhere, he would have withered. Chiba was frankly still quite nervous, but he explained the situation and managed to get the father’s consent. Later, the father would exclaim, “I never knew there was such a reliable, hardworking man in the mizushobai business!” Most people think we’re all conscience-less hustlers or something!

 

Naturally there are polit e hosts and dishonest hosts, but to get to the Number One ranking, one has to have manners at least as good as a salariman or civil servant, if not better! Mr. Chiba captured the interest of this very square professor in one shot, and thus secured permission to marry.

 

As for his new wife, she adapted to the lifestyle pretty well. Even though he was always going out, she never got mad or even complained. When he had to go out on dates even on his day off, he’d just tell her, “I’m going to work, see you later!” S he’d just smile and wave. Naturally she had some idea of what “work” was, but she didn’t get jealous. She had the sense to see that complaining about his being surrounded by adoring women would only deprive him of his livelihood. In this way the first four years of the marriage passed uneventfully and prosperously. They even had two children, a boy and a girl, within a year of each other. Incidentally, his daughter is now the number one hostess at a Ueno hostess bar! I guess it runs in the blood. . .

 

Anyway, after four years, their relationship became gradually more and more strained. As always, Chiba was very popular at the club and couldn’t help but have pri vat e meetings with the customers. His wife would still see him off as he left the ho us e, and then continue to clean, cook, raise children, and single-mindedly wait for him to return at some point. I guess she got tired of that? After four years, she uttered her first complaint: “You! I don’t especially need your money, and I’ll be satisfied with a poor lifestyle. So, why don’t you quit your job . Any other job is okay with me ? a fisherman, a manual laborer. Just please quit being a gigolo!” That was all she said, but her heart was full of conflict.

 

As you can imagine, Mr. Chiba was quite moved by this. It turns out that she’d been bearing with him for years, but had reached her limit. But being a gigolo was the only thing he could really be proud of, and he was quite famous for his work, so it was not possible for him to quit so easily.

 

“I’m sorry, baby, but I really enjoy the job I have now. Please try to understand my feelings!” He received her consent and continued to work as a host. She never complained again.

 

Then one day, he got a call at work. “ It’s from your wife, ” said the assistant. She must have been in quite a state if they would call him away from a customer with whom he was having a very pleasant time, he thought, so he raced to the phone. “ S ave me,” she called in a fragile voice. Naturally he rushed home, and as soon as he opened the door, the smell of gas hit him. His wife was lying motionless on the floor , next to the oven . He called an ambulance and, luckily, there was no permanent injury. But clearly, his wife had become neurotic, and thereby plotted to commit suicide. In these circumstances it was impos s ible for him, as a dutiful husband, to continue gigolo-ing. So he moved out! Soon after, they got a divorce. At that time, she said to him, “Please take care of yourself” ? she was worried he would work too hard and neglect his health!

 

She tried her absolute best to play the role of the number-one-host’s wife, but finally, she could not tolerate it. But she was dignified and high-class to the end. Even today she will sometimes meet him and go out to dinner.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 15: good girls don’t complain at the drop of a hat. If you don’t open your mouth unless it’s really important, you will win the heart of your man.


 

QUIETLY PUTTING THE MONEY IN THE WALLET

Men are really all spoiled children, aren’t we? We’re always calling on women to save us and support us. But, a real “can-do girl” , well, we find her difficult too! A host named Mr. Matsunaga had a wife who was really methodical and efficient. Every day, Matsunaga would come home, take off his suit jacket and hang it in the same place, with his wallet in the same pocket. Since he’d usually stop on the way home for some sake, the wallet would usually be quite empty! The next morning, he’d put on a clean suit. And, as he’d do so, he’d invariably discover the wallet in the pocket of the new suit. And there would be money in it! It seems that his wife was in the habit of helping him out w hen he wasn’t looking, wasn’t she? She didn’t ask him what he was spending it on, nor did she ask him to even curtail his spending!

 

In the end, they divorced.

 

That’s what we mean when we say that being with such a “can-do girl” is a ticklish situation! They’re so efficient, the human feelings are missing. It’s hard to explain , but I feel that such a lady can’t express her emotions properly. Normal couples were made to fight, curse each other, and express the full emotions of women and men. If a guy is spending too much, it’s normal for the wife to rebuke him, isn’t it? But if he really needs money, it’s also an expression of love for the wife to bail him out! But if she always smiles and gives him money for no reason, we husbands are prone to think, “This is kind of ill!”

 

But a “detail-oriented gal” can be just as difficult to deal with as the “can-do gal.” We like our ladies to listen carefully to us, and comprehend what we say, and have a good head on their shoulders. But, the woman who is pretentious, or seems to think she is the smartest one in the room, is not going to be very popular! This applies to a lot of the high-end hostesses in ( Tokyo’s ritzy) Ginza district.

 

I n the most popular Ginza clubs, many men come in ? from the most high to the most low. So, the hostesses have to learn to talk fluently about a great variety of topics. From how to fry a potato, to economics and philosophy, if she can’t speak with great ease about it, she loses her job. But if she is more knowledgeable than the men, she won’t be able to do business, either! A top-class hostess knows well how to navigate this fine line. The customers aren’t paying to hear her opinion, after all; they just want a lady who is capable of understanding theirs! That’s why not just any pretty lady can be a Ginza hostess. Especially not one who pretends to be a show-off expert but is actually ignorant! Such a woman should quit, shouldn’t she? There’s a lot of male customers who want their hostesses to be a little dumb.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 16: women who are pretentious or who do too much for their men are given a could shoulder! It’s important to understand what your partner says, but if he is asking something bad, say no, and if he goes over your head, admit it to him.


 

ACTING COOL EVEN WHEN YOU ARE BEYOND TERRIFIED.

 

Whether you’re a husband or just a lover, the most awkward thing about fighting a woman is when her hysteria awakens. She is so utterly helpless! In the case of hysteria, most men simply have to give up. “It’s no use trying to reason with her!” they say, right? And the circumstance most likely to awaken the hysteria is, of course, when she discovers his infidelity!

 

No matter how much he explains or what logic he uses to justify his affair, she doesn’t hear a word he is saying ? it is the hysteria! Eventually, he says, “Whatever, I don’t care anymore!” and runs off to his mistress for consolation. If there were no love left at all, it would be simple to end it . But if she still likes him even a little, she has to keep a very cool head indeed if s he wants to save the relationship.

 

Men have affairs more casually, they say. Also, men tend to go ahead and do what they want recklessly, which has been known to cause problems regardless of the affairs. That is why it is important for the woman to keep a cool head, in spite of (and especially!) when she is deeply deeply angry.

 

You see, to men, the silent treatment is even scarier than being yelled at. It’s an effective technique to make a man apologize. In addition, it makes the man reflect on his own actions and criticize himself! The same technique applies when he gets down-sized during a corporate restructuring. You shouldn’t follow him around the house, yelling, “You!!! What are we gonna do now? You can’t pay for Hiroshi’s school! It would be good if you could put food on the table once in a while!!” He’s already depressed! In fact, you’re both probabl y shocked, confused, and don’t have a good idea of what to do. He might even be contemplating suicide. You should keep a cool head, and definitely not get hysterical. In any case, the situation will improve soon.

 

In my own case, I spared no efforts in the marriage, but in the end it looks like my wife is in control, isn’t she? Because she has such a cool head!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 17: the hysterical woman will lose. The angrier you get, the more important it is to keep a cool head. If you can have patience and move at your own pace, you can control your man.


 

THE PROSTITUTE WHO BOUGHT A MANSION FOR THE MOTHER WHO THREW HER OUT.

 

At our “Morning-Service” clubs, most of the customers are fuzoku. To get rid of the stress of their jobs, they spend a lot of money, drink a lot of alcohol, and party in an un-elegant manner. But one of them was actually very magnetic! Kobayashi Megumi was a regular customer, but we just called her Meg.

 

Her mom was a hostess who dated gangsters, drank like a fish, and shot dope. Moms was always in jail, so young Meg was shuttled between the orphanage and her grandmother’s house. When Moms would get out, they’d live together, but even then Moms was only concerned with booze and dope. She would telephone her Moms to see if she could stay at home that day, but just from hearing Moms talk, she would know the answer: “Today she’s got the overdose-voice,” or “Today she’s got the drunk voice.”

 

As a child, she always thought she was about to die, “If not today, surely tomorrow,” she would feel. Anyway, that was elementary-school-age Meg. I don’t know how many times she cut her wrists, but she still has the scars today.

 

While she was still a teenager, she ran away, came to kabukicho, and started working at a HERUSU (“health,” meaning, massage parlor). She was tall for her age, so they believed she was legal. You might think, “Poor thing, her body will waste away from working as a fuzoku.” But Meg was different. For the first time, she was making money for herself, having enough to eat, so she was grateful.

 

She had been having a reoccurring dream – she would smell her Mom’s perfume, which would make her chest feel severe pain. A feeling of terror would overcome her, as if her chest was being squeezed in a vice. A feeling of dreadful isolation would grip her, as if she was being caught in a titanic undertow, down to the bottom of the ocean. And without being aware of it, she would be crying. She was scared to sleep at night. But, contrary to what you’d think, becoming a fuzoku made these dreams instantly stop.

 

Eventually she decided to work at a harder-core fuzoku shop, a soapland. She was so exhausted every night, but she was happy. That’s when she started coming to our club. She had been working very hard, and saving money since she was a teenager. Her motivation was clear: When she was young, she was desperately poor. And even though work was often dangerous, she never thought of quitting.

 

In her mid-twenties, she bought a mansion for the mother that threw her out. “Why would anyone do that for such a useless mother?” is a question that a normal person might ask. I myself asked her!

 

“I wanted to show her how far I’d come, I guess. With the money I earned from hard work, I could accomplish things that she never could.” She replied, with a spooky, vacant look.

 

At that point, she was earning about $40,000 a month at the soapland. Even for a prostitute, that’s a lot. Every day, she might have up to 18 partners. She’d meet a customer for the first time, talk to him, wash his body, and then have sex. After you do that 18 times, your body becomes very run-down. What’s more, when she was 21, a scammer swindled her out of $70,000. But even then, she never quit. She went back to work, and saved enough to buy a mansion for her useless mother. You have to admire that kind of fortitude.

 

When Moms was sick, Meg paid for a good doctor, the best hospital, although it might seem unnecessary. When Moms was on her deathbed, Meg bought her a $3,000/day private hospital room. She later told me she had some regrets, though. Naturally, I asked her to tell me more: “After she recovered, I wanted to take her to a hot-spring. When I was a girl, we didn’t go even once. That’s why I spent so much money on the hospital. But, it would have been better if I had said kind words to her, and I massaged her back as well. If I’d done that, we might have been able to go to hot springs together.” That’s the kind of story that could make you cry. I don’t know another woman that admirable.

 

Nowadays, she’s retired from fuzoku, and lives off the rent from the mansion she bought. She’s still in her thirties. She still comes to LOVE sometimes, and we always make sure she has a good time. She didn’t really have a family of her own, so she likes the family atmosphere we provide. Once she starts drinking, she doesn’t stop. When we open up, she is there. Nor does she leave to visit another club when we close ? she just comes back here the following day. She did that for over ninety to days! Finally, I scolded her about it; “If a woman goes out and plays everyday, without even taking a bath, she should bring a change of clothes, ne?” And I handed her some panties that I’d bought for the sake of the scolding!

 

But, for her part, she never did anything nasty, no matter how much she drank. She had a pure heart and a charming laugh. She was a woman who chose her own life and made her own money! A charming lady indeed.


 

WOMEN ARE WOMEN NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY GET

 

For women, aging is a big problem, isn’t it? They can only get by on their looks in their 20s, or at most their early 30s. After that, they’re no longer seen as female at work. In the end , they’re just called “Ma’am.” But they don’t feel like a “ma’am!” If they’re married, the second they have children they aren’t a lady anymore, they’re a mom. After awhile, even they forget that they’re a lady. Especially if they stop having the sex! But, I think they still want to be a lady. That’s why lots of older women come to the host clubs. In fact, some of them are really hot stuff! They have a really traditional polite attitude, and the wisdom which comes from age. They listen carefully to the hosts’ stories. You could say that they really know how to age gracefully. When it comes to customers, some old ladies are really remarkable.

 

The customers over 50, we call “agatta hito” ( the person whose menstruation is over), but sometimes when they go to the host club, they start menstruating again! When it comes to ladies, if the people around them can make them feel like a real woman, the effect is huge, right?

 

Occasionally, a young customer will bring her mother along. Sometimes they’ll even fall for the same host! And the hosts have been known to accommodate both of them. This is known as “oyako donburi” (parent-and-child- mixed meal). Even if they wind up competing for him, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Because they’ll try their best to be glamorous, and improve themselves in the process.

 

Once we even had a customer over 70. she loved to dance, but she had a bad heart condition, didn’t she? So every time, she’d bring her pacemaker along and dance with the hosts! Her feet were weak and she couldn’t dance so rapidly but even so, she looked like she w as enjoying herself! She couldn’t walk down stairs unassisted, so the hosts would even walk with her all the way to the sidewalk to make sure she was safe. She had a huge smile on her face the whole way, too. Once outside, her family was waiting for her with a wheelchair. She was one of our most satisfied customers!

 

Women are women, no matter how old they get. Whether you’re in your 70s or even 80s, if you play around at the host club, you’ll have a good time. Don’t be shy. The gigolos won’t make a poor face when they see you! If they did, they wouldn’t be pros!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 21: as women get older, they should still pursue enjoyment as women. (rather than as wives or grandmas, or workers).


 

GIRLS WHO ARE GOOD LISTENERS VERSUS GIRLS WHO ARE GOOD TALKERS

 

 

Both the “good listener type” and the “good talker” type of girl are popular with hosts. Fundamentally, we are in the communication business, and we have to polish our talking skills very much. So when we meet a customer who has also taken care to polish her skills also, we’re grateful!

 

When we say “good listener,” we don’t just mean someone who nods politely and says, “ Y es, yes, mmm . ” We mean someone who presents the speaker with an environment where they feel comfortable talking about anything. T hey also say that a good listener has a smiling face. Someone who is always cutting in with, “ Ok but you know what?” . . you can’t say they’re a good listener.

 

Naturally our customers are paying money for hosts to listen to them, but you can’t enjoy a conversation where you just jabber on by yourself. Rapidly tossing phrases back and forth like “catch-ball” is the best way. But before you get that far, first you have to learn how to listen!

 

A “good talker” means simply that you have a lot of ways to express yourself. You use gestures and facial expressions to illustrate the story you are telling, and you know how much to touch your partner to maintain a close rapport. We Japanese are pretty poor when it comes to “body touch” and body language, but it is really important to being a good speaker.

 

Lightly resting your hand on your partner’s shoulder or knee, or giving their hand a squeeze, this makes all the difference when you are trying to communicate your message. Of course, being too clingy is against the rules, right? It’s like the way a child sticks to his mother. If you think about it that way, the woman who can communicate by expressing her maternal side is more likely to be loved than the lady who acts out the child’s role. More than hosts, all men will be charmed by you if you can behave maternally, so long as you aren’t a pushy Mom!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 22: the lady who communicates well is always popular. If you can set your partner at ease, you are even better off.


 

CHAPTER FIVE

THE KIND OF GIRL WHO IS ABSOLUTELY NOT POPULAR.


 

THE GIRLS WHO DEMAND THE SEX

 

Recently, Japanese have become much more broad-minded about sex. Girls, especially, have been released from the stiff, formal roles, and that’s a good thing, isn’t it? But to men, women being pushy about sex is not always a good thing. If you think about it, s ex should be saved for last, right?

 

At our club, too, there are customers who want to speak really frankly about the sex! If they see a bunch of hot gigolos, they get really excited. But I can understand their feelings , b ut in the end, such a customer ruins the mood of the club. It’s more sexy to hint at things, but tease her by making her wait. (literally, “to make this kind of behavior be smelled, while at the same time delay the teasing!”)

One can enjoy many types of good conversation, dinner and drinks, dates, and so on, until the feelings accumulate and she gives herself to the man. That’s way is more proper for ladies, right?

 

The ladies who request the number-one host, they have a lot of rivals, but still each thinks that she will be the one to win him. But, for women who want to KIPPU (keep) a man, there are many rules about sex. But the most important rule is, give it up quick. (literally, “first, try to give your body”)

 

This rule is effective when dealing with an unpopular guy, but in this case we are talking about hosts! If you have sex with them only once or twice, it means nothing. There’s lots of them who think of sex is on the same level as, say, “Hello! How are you?” To them, if they have sex with a lady even one time, their interest in her suddenly and drastically diminishes. “It’s a different thing from love,” they explain.

 

Hosts often say, “The more I like her, the less easy it is to have casual sex with her.”

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 23: You should make sure your man is sufficiently in your power, before having sex. Sex that a woman demands is totally different from sex where a woman convinces a man it’s his idea to seduce her.

 


 

THE WOMAN WHO CAN’T TAKE A COMPLIMENT

 

I’m always saying to my gigolos, “No matter what kind of guests come in, let’s flatter them .” That’s no problem when it comes to the pretty or charming ones, but it can be difficult otherwise, right? Well, actually, no!

 

If you’re trying to make a pleasant connection with your partner, you can always find something good to say about them. For instance, “Those western clothes suit you really well. Only (insert name of celebrity) wears them as well as you do!” Even if it’s an older lady who is rotund with a face like a toad, you can try to compliment her fingers: “ XXXsan, your fingertips are really pretty. So delicate! It looks great!” or some goddamn thing like that, while gently stroking her fingertips. And it’s not just “mouth technique,” either. A real pro will manage to find something that he honestly believes is pretty to compliment. There’s not a woman alive who doesn’t like flattery, so not only will she be happy, but she might discover a new beautiful part of her self. In that way, you can polish the woman and make her shine.

 

Often the women that come for the fist time are really uncouth and low-class, but even they can become glamorous, little by little, if they come in often enough. Because the host teaches her about her hidden gorgeous points, through flattery. There’s a lot of cases of this! And naturally, the more glamorous they become, the more self-confidence they have outside the club. If you think about it that way, the host is playing the role of a KAUNSERAA (counselor). This is especially important in Japan, where most guys don’t know how to give compliments. The women who goddamn say, “I only get compliments at the host club,” is comparitavely large. Kind of sad, isn’t it?

 

The customers who are wearing BURANDO (brands) that look bad on them, or trendy makeup which does not suit their face, and so on, they don’t know their own glamorous points yet. The hosts will gently set them straight about what looks good on them: “Your look today is great, but Ms. XXXXX, there are other clothes that will suit you even better, yo! For instance. . . .”

 

This way, the lady who listens obediently will be able to come in next time, wearing clothes which are not a mistake. On the other hand, the lady who replies, “Whatever! I like these clothes!” . . . She will wind up continuing to wear clothes that don’t flatter them, They’ll miss out on a lot of compliments from guys that way, won’t they? It’s important to listen to people’s opinions.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 24: ladies can become beautiful simply by being complimented by men. If you can’t take a compliment, you’ll suffer, because compliments help you discover new beautiful parts of yourself.


 

 

LONELY LADIES AND LADIES THAT TRY TOO HARD

 

When you hear the phrase, “solitary man,” you imagine a cool rebel guy like actor Takakura Ken, right?

But when you hear the phrase, “solitary girl,” you imagine a shameful woman, right? Living in poverty or something. It’s not cool to be lonely. It’s possible that that kind of person might exist. In fact, many of our customers are like that! The women who are visiting for the first time, usually they have been hurt by a man. But the regular customers often bring their friends, and are very cheerful. It is a PATAAN (pattern). These kinds of big-spenders who bring lots of friends are called EDA (literally, branch. Figuratively, a support). But occasionally customers come in alone. We try to give them a big welcome, but sometimes they have a dark feeling about them.

 

You can generally tell right from when you first meet them. Usually this kind of lady can’t express herself properly or confidently. She wants to hide inside of her mental walls. She’s obviously got something she’s hiding , but no idea the best way for her to get it out of her system. But in any case, she emits a NEGATIBU OORA (negative aura). Because of that, she is not popular with men nor women. I guess the host club plays the role of a temple at which they can make a pilgrimage!

 

We’re always telling this sort of customer, “Never mind, you didn’t need her/him/it anyway!” or “Don’t try so hard, it’s not important anyway.”

I wish they could express themselves more confidently. These kinds of ladies seem to be all curled up inside a brittle shell, and it’s disgraceful. They really seem to be trying hard and getting nowhere.

 

Regular guys complain about another type of lady, too: “The girl who is trying too hard is unattractive,” they say. At work, too, such women don’t have any intimate friends. They’re attempting an impossible performance; trying to be someone they are not. Just like men who put on a false show of bravado to cover their own weakness. Let the guys have a monopoly on such foolish behavior. Don’t try so hard. If you are a lady who is doing what “the real you” wants to do, you will always shine!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 25: the solitary lady is a shameful waste. If you like yourself, others will like you. If you put on a false show of bravado, you’ll get hurt in the end.

 


 

THE LADIES WHO ARE BAD AT “ AMAE”

 

As I look at my customers, I think, “A superb customer is one who is good at AMAE. (amae doesn’t even remotely correspond to an English word, but it means something like, to depend on or rely on someone . It can have both good and bad meanings, depending on if the AMAE is appropriate for the situation or not. What’s more, if you say a man is bad at AMAE, it means he won’t ask for help even when he needs it, but if you say a woman is bad at AMAE, it means she is too needy. That’s as simple as I can goddamn make it) ”

 

Of course hosts are complete professionals at taking care of women, flattering them and so on, but to console a woman excessively is kind of a sad feeling! But frequently, a customer will keep her head bowed, but flick her eyes up at the host and sigh, “I’m so lonely!” in a wheedling, high-pitched voice. That goes beyond AMAE, that’s just whining. When I talk about amae, I am referring to a method of communication. Amae means entrusting your partner with your deepest secrets and worries, to foster a closer bond. And to have this close bond means that she must also be good at helping hosts! That’s good amae.

 

For example, men sometimes want to rely on a woman for help or sympathy, but we’re no good at it. The man in trouble might put on a false show of power, frowning, yelling, giving the silent treatement, and so on. So women have to have a really good eye to see if he’s actually asking for help. Then, instead of offering to help him, you should instead ask for HIS help: “I’m in a jam! I’m in big trouble.” If you do that, he’ll feel solidarity with you, rather than shame for being the weaker one. “Yeah, we’re really in trouble now!” He’ll say. It makes him feel at ease.

 

If you’re good at amae, your host will say, “you tried everything but you’re still in trouble. I think you showed me your weak point!” and she will have his sympathy. But if you simply demand his sympathy with no subtlety, he will say, “Whatever. You can keep talking all you want.” Crying, too, is awkward. A politician recently got in trouble for saying, “Crying is a woman’s weapon,” but most men secretly agree with him.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 26: a good girl knows how to both ask for and give sympathy. She thinks of amae as a form of communication.


 

THE SHALLOW GIRL

 

Often, when one is in love, if one sees a hitherto unknown aspect of one’s partner, one loves them all the more. But as you find out everything about them, they quickly become dull. Your love can’t grow any further. That’s why you shouldn’t show everything to a man so soon. Some of our regulars are generally cheerful, but sometimes they’ll come in with a sad face, and this makes us worried. So we’ll listen to them, and ask them, and eventually find out that they are concerned about their husband’s affair. “Oh, so THAT’S what this is about, ” we’ll say. O r, “She has this whole other part of her life!” we think, and look at her in a new way. She seems like a more full, 3-dimensional person.

 

Hosts are always saying, “I like a hajirai girl!” Hajirai looks like the (Japanese) word for shy, but the hajirai girl is different from shy girls who are bashful with strangers , and different from girls who embarrass easily . Hajirai girls have a rich inner life which they keep mostly hidden.

 

So, when we say “hajirai girl,” we mean someone who has mastered the technique of revealing her inner depths slowly and provocatively.

 

As women get older, they accumulate burdens and regrets in life, don’t they? These hidden pains make an older woman mysterious and deep-seeming to humans. When a man sees a woman with secrets, he resolves to uncover them. Therefore, when we say “ Deep inside of a woman,” we don’t mean anything nasty by it ? it’s a compliment. If anything, a woman with no secrets seems boring and shallow to men, and we find it difficult to get excited about her.

 


 

 

THE FEMININITY LEARNED FROM GAYS

 

The people known as “gays” and “homosexuals,” can be usually found in a neighborhood called Shinjuku ni-chome. There’s many specialized gay shops there, too. But, in Kabukicho, too, there’s still a lot of gays, and some of them come to my club. There’s many different kinds of gays: those who like men who look like themselves, and then there are those who only like NONKE (straight guys). On top of that, there are DEBUSEN (fat specialist) and HAGESEN (bald specialist) gays too. Really, the variety is amazing. It’s a very deep, cryptic world they live in!

 

And of course the popular gigolos are popular with gays, too. But our hosts are fundamentally straight, so they don’t fall in love with those customers. They do become really close friends, though!

 

If you were to see one of our gay customers, you’d say, “He’s more feminine than a lady!” Because they really do play that role intentionally. A lot of these guys are really manly at work, but as soon as they get off, they show their “real face.” In other words, their real “performance” is during the daytime! The extent of the performance is different from man to man; some even go so far as to get married. It’s a hard life! So, to unwind, they come to ni-chome or to my club.

 

It’s quite a release for them, isn’t it? They can become finally feminine. They pay attention to all the details of femininity, and fuss over the hosts so much. Some even help out at the club. They’re not real girls, but they’re ready to do everything girls do.

 

They enjoy chattering with the hosts. This one gay is always goddamn saying, “That girl over there, she doesn’t perform the female role at all well!” or, “Women are all fundamentally like movie stars! They should act the role of girlishness, and at all times consider how to improve the performance! Those that don’t will never be popular! Forget about it!” This lifestyle sounds exhausting, but, as he puts it, “The life lived while constantly changing the speed is exciting!” So you can see, that if a woman is loved by even such strict gays, she will be popular with regular guys too!

 

Gays always check the details of women’s clothes and behavior, and are always practicing the details themselves. They develop a very discerning eye for feminine things, and are generally much sharper than real women. If a gay is charmed by a lady, she can tell that she’s really above-average. On the other hand, if a gay really dislikes you, you’ve got some work to do in the makeover department!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 28: the good girl can play the female role. At all times consider what is the most feminine thing to do.

 


 

 

THE FEMININITY LEARNED FROM DRAG KINGS??

 

Earlier, I mentioned my “onabe club” called NEW MARILYN. My daughter is the manager! Onabes are born female, but they feel wrong being women, so they decide to live life as men. My onabe hosts inject male hormones, and appear more manly than most guys! Although they are often mistaken for REZUBIAN, it’s not the same thing. Lesbians think of themselves as women who like chicks, so they don’t change their gender. Likewise, onabes aren’t the same as HOMO or NYUUHAAFU (new-half). Homos are men who like men! And new-halfs are men who become ladies!

 

Our Number-One host at NEW MARILYN is named Hide. Hide really acts mannish! Her first love was her kindergarten lady teacher! In junior high, she’d quarrel with her dude friends over who got to date the chick, and ever since then she’s been living as a man. Ever since she started working for us, she’s been popular. Even hi-class soapland ladies and the daughter of a hospital manager choose her! I asked her what is her secret for charming the ladies and finding their weak points, and she said, “Well, Boss, it’s like this : I refuse to pamper these bitches!” And they love it, don’t they?

 

She’s secretly living with a lady who used to be a hostess. In other words, quite a normal girl. From her point of view, Hide isn’t just macho and cool, but Hide also knows women’s thoughts and emotions more than men, because Hide’s a lady! It’s like the best of both worlds, except they can’t have normal sex. Male to female surgery is much more easy: all they have to do is cut off the male part. But there’ve been new-halfs who die from taking too many hormones. So they have to be really careful of the danger.

 

In the case of onabes who want surgery, they have to build a thing, which is comparatively difficult. One can get it done overseas, but not yet in Japan. So in Japan, even amongst the fiercer onabes, to have a PENISU is rare. That’s why I say they can’t have normal sex. but as smooth, smooth lovers, they are absolutely the equal of men.

 

Also, there’s a popular onabe called Shunpei. He has even been on tv, he’s quite famous actually. He’s t a ll and used to do ballet, too. He used to often perform with the National Ballet Troupe at their shows. O f course she had to perform with women ? getting in the shower room afterwards must have been tough! Naked ballerinas are not a bad thing, but it could be very tiring to remain polite if one is a man inside! She says she used to claim menstruation so she could use a private bath off to the side.

 

That’s what you’d call a “real gentleman!”

 

When she walks through Kabukicho, she is approached by the fuzoku ladies: “Hey, older brother! You look handsome! Won’t you come back to the club and spew in a great girl?” they say. She replys, “Yo, I ain’t got shit to spew with, bitch!”

 

One time she was married. To a new half. If you think about it, it makes sense ? the roles are the same, aren’t they? Just reversed, is all. She separated from the new half, but her next lover was ? get ready ? another new half! A dancer, in fact. Really beau t iful , I also was attracted kind of !

 

They lived together for a time but ultimately separated. It seems they had a lot of household rules ? the onabe’s toothbrush had to be blue, and the new-half’s had to be pink, and so on. But they had fun: they would always go to the bar and drink TOROPIKARUKAKUTERU (tropical cocktails), from both sides of the bowl, with their respective straws. ? blue for the onabe, and pink for the new-half. Then they’d look at each other and whisper, “We’re giving ourselves away!” At any rate, these guys ? or should I say girls ? had a lot of shared experiences like this.

 

“I don’t want to have surgery and entirely become a man, nor do I want to go back to being a girl. I’m fine the way I am now!” is the image that she projects. As far as being unable to have normal sex, she has plenty of other experiences to make up for it, she says.

 

Incidentally, more than normal people, these guys have a hard time admitting their true feelings to family and friends. Also, they have a very difficult time accepting who they are, to themselves. Even Shunpei. W hen she was young, always thought she’d commit suicide. “I can’t live as either a man or a woman so I should just die,” she’d think. It was a very grave situation. But, once you accept yourself, you’ll get more respect from others as well as enjoy your life more. Onabes who have firmly decided to be gigolos 24/7 . . .they shine brighter than most people

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 29: it’s important to accept yourself. People who can admit the truth to themselves appear shiny to others.


 

GIRLS WHO CAN’T PARTY WITH CLASS.

 

Of course, a host club is a place where one pays to let one’s hair down . But naturally there are rules, even for parties. Hosts hate a girl who ignores these rules. The person who drinks alcohol and gets wild, so to speak, can go too far! There are even customers who get in fights with hosts as a result of drinking! “XXXkun, you really don’t like me, do you? You like YYYYchan!” they’ll say. It’s awkward! And yet it’s really cute, so we can forgive them. But if they overdo the drinking, they start a cting just like a dirty old man. No good!

 

You should keep your economic condition in mind, and only drink within your budget. Hosts are tired of customers saying, “I don’t have that much money!” after they get the bill. As long as we’re discussing money, hosts hate a girl who doesn’t know she is supposed to pay for dates. Normally the man pays, of course, but don’t for a moment think that that is natural. Sometimes you should pay, and sometimes him. But to refuse when a guy offers to pay is just terrible. There are ladies who have such a policy but they must all be frigid.

 

It’s normal to bring a friend to the club, but some customers bring two or even three fri e nds. The evening starts off pleasantly, but as they get drunker, they want to be alone with the gigolo who is waiting on them, and touch him. It becomes a woman’s battle. To bystanders, it looks disgraceful. So greedy and avaricious and drunk! Those kinds of women are usually hated by their own gender. And make no mistake, guys tend to notice things like that. If a woman is trusted by her own gender, she’ll get trusted by men, too!

 

The lady who makes fun of the HERUPU (helper) is also no good! The helper is a host who accompanies the customer and her chosen host to their table and talks with them for a bit. Young hosts often help more experienced hosts, in return for learning techniques of conversation and smoothness. T he helper is really trying hard to add to the atmosphere, or so he thinks! But o ften the customers are only aiming to sleep with their chosen host, so they want the helper to leave. Of course, the host likes having the helper around, because he keeps the customers from getting too frisky. But when the helper talks, the customers might ignore him or have a bad attitude. T heir chosen host obviously notices this and decides that the customer is ugly and useless.

 

Incidentally, everything I’ve mentioned so far in this segment is something that hosts talk about at the club. But, as you know, your friends in the real world might share the opinions of the hosts, so be careful!

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 30: the girl who doesn’t know the party rules will be hated! Whe n you party too much, you show everyone your true face. Guys like a girl who can enjoy herself elegantly.


 

AFTERWORD

BOTH MEN AND WOMEN REQUEST THE LOVE


 

THE FONDNESS BETWEEN GIGOLO AND CUSTOMER

In the mizu shobai business, they have a saying: “We love our customers, but we are not in love with them!” It means, they love the customers, but they don’t have a relationship with them outside of business. But at the host club, it’s not limited to that. Of course we love ladies as customers, but we love them as women as well! The customers fall for the gigolos, but often the gigolo can’t help loving her back. Can you really attract him or is he just acting? That’s part of the fun of going to the club!

 

But in practice, if they go beyond a mere “customer and host” relationship, the host can be quite fierce to the lady! For instance, if her manners are not correct, he will say, “Hey, XXXsan, you’re acting low-class!” Or if she is drinking too much, he will warn her, “Let’s quit for today, ok?” and whisk away her glass. If she is making fun of another customer, or criticizing the attitude of another host, he’ll say, “Knock it off!” or “Don’t act smart!” and really let her have it. The reason is, if he really likes a lady, he can’t hide his true emotions from her. “I only fight with girls I like,” they say.

 

In other words, ladies, the stricter he is with you, the more he likes you. And if you really like him, you’ll listen to his criticism and take it into account.

 

But even if you do wind up dating a host, that doesn’t mean that you’ll necessarily be able keep him or to marry him. It’s just what we call “koi wo tanoshimu,” (enjoying the feeling of love). As opposed to the very similar expression, “koi wo suru” (loving each other).

 

For example, if a lady has a lover at home and they’re getting along, (or even if she has a husband at home, and he is bringing home the bacon for her), she will still try to be really good friends with a gigolo. This kind of lady has a “koi wo tanoshimu” attitude. The host is just someone she can play with, isn’t he? “Koi wo suru” is different – if you don’t “koi wo suru” with your gigolo, you’re not going to enjoy coming to the club. Please don’t misunderstand me ? I am not talking about having an affair. I’m talking about a Platonic love that comes from the heart if you really like your gigolo. Nothing worse than that! But on the other hand, many women are able to balance their home life and life with their sexual lovers, too. I guess you could say that the woman who has had many types of relationships is more beautiful for it.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 31: If a lady has felt many kinds of love, she will become more womanly. The lady who loves many men Platonically is not really cheating on her husband.


 

 

WHY DO WOMEN GO TO HOST CLUBS?

 

Men and women are different, and they spend money in different places. Men can go to a fuzoku , a bar, or a club, and escape from their everyday existence. But ther e are almost no places for women who want to escape. That’s why host clubs are so venerated by the ladies! Not only that, but regular customers gradually become more beautiful because they are groomed by the hosts. You could say that they study lots of things with the hosts! How to start a conversation, the proper treatment of men, How to dress more glamorously, and so on.

Working women have no chance to study these things at the office! Even when they’re in public, it’s the same problem ? they have to keep up their TATEMAE (generally translated as “public, not private, self” or “outward face”). In contrast, the host club is a more intimate, private place, where they can express their HONNNE (the counterpart of TATEMAE ? the “real self”. The thing that westerners do 24/7 ? not! How did that rumor get started any damn how??)

At any rate, it is a place where the ladies can experience something beyond their everyday SHICHUEESHON (situation).

 

Gasping with surprise, “I am really such a glamorous lady!” she will discover . I know lots of customers who have improved their looks and attitude as a result of being a regular gigolo-visitor! All the money you spend here; if you think of it as an investment, it’s not that expensive. Just like stylish clothes, makeup, going to beautiful places and having wonderful experiences all should cost money. Women should have the freedom to manage their own money, after all.

 

If I had to quickly answer the question, “Why do women go?” I would say this: women get more pretty, more knowledgeable, and more feminine. They are polished by the gigolos. It’s just like any other female investment ? beauty parlors, nail salons, shopping ? something that the ladies do to feel pretty.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 32: you should invest in your own beauty.


 

THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEMSELVES GET LOVED BY OTHERS

 

For a woman to be beautiful, she has to meet this condition: she has to love men. That means, don’t just think, “I want to be loved” all the time, love your partner, too! But love is difficult, isn’t it? Sometimes even couples who really do like each other and work at the relationship nonetheless break up. Likewise , there are many cases where one partner tries to love the other but instead winds up being possessive and smothering them. If you really love someone, you’ll believe in the love so strongly that you won’t need a lot of rules or jealousy. Fi rst you have to have confidence in yourself, that you are worthy of fidelity! Only then can you believe in your partner.

 

Some women goddamn say, “Where did you go last night?!” every single time, but it is possible for you to not yell this! He might feel guilty anyway, and make an excuse for staying out. But it is possible for you to not yell at him for that, either. Even if it’s pretty obviously a lie, you should answer “Oh. So that’s why!” and you’ll enjoy life more. What’s more, if you know yourself, it becomes easier to have confiden c e in yourself. That’s why beautiful women are never insecure! And they can love others better because of it.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 33: if you have self-confidence, you will be more able to love. And if you can love a man, you will appear more beautiful.


 

 

JOINTLY OWN A DREAM WITH YOUR MAN

 

If you already have a boyfriend, or a husband, you’ll get along better if you share a common dream. All the successful hosts have big dreams, too! Such as being the Number One, or opening their own host club, or even amassing enough capital to start their own corporation. And the customers that support him share his dream. So when he wins, it’s like they both win! Those customers know that if he gets famous, it will have an exquisite flavor.

 

Of course, such a relationship is not limited to gigolos and customers. If you really love a man, and he’s sad, you’ll cry too. If he gets a promotion at work, you’ll say “Go for it!” too. In other words, you’ll reward him from your heart for his efforts. Of course, if you compliment him all the time, it will sound hollow. And if he says something utterly irrelevant, you can scold him: “What kind of idiotic thing are you saying?” But if you work hard to realize his dream and it comes true, your happiness will exceed his.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 34: If you see the same dream as him and you suffer together to work for the dream, no matter how many years it takes, you’ll be happy together. That’s undoubtedly the most exquisite flavor that a woman can taste.


 

 

BOTH WOMEN AND MEN REQUEST THE LOVE

 

Even today, many customers come to my clubs. Women in gorgeous, sumptuous clothes, and some with plain garb. Women who come alone and those who bring their friends along. They are working as housewives, office workers, corporate mangers, and fuzoku, respectively. Whatever the case, they have a lot of daily burdens. But the instant they set foot in our doorstep, they become a queen. They’re surrounded by men in elegant suits and ushered into a private booth, where a gigolo sits beside them. The sake arrives just in time, and the conversation begins. At the host club, every woman is a queen! But, that alone is not why the ladies come.

 

They come because the gigolos love them! The gigolo flatters and entertains a lady from his heart! Whatever kind of lady, married or single, everyone wants to be loved. The same goes for men. The number one hosts didn’t get there entirely on their own strength ? they got there because they were loved. And not just hosts, but regular guys, too, exhaust themselves at work for the sake of their family, so they want some love in return. And because they get the love, they continue to try their best on the job. (regular guys are whores too!) (love is a commodity to be bartered!) (the ultimate purpose of love is helping worker productivity and increasing shareholder revenue!! ) If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this business it’s that both men and women request the love. That’s why I have affection for all my customers, and they seem to love me in return. If the customer loves the host, he’ll return it. That’s why I named my club LOVE.

 

BETTER LADIES’ RULE NUMBER 35: if you love, you’ll receive love in return.


ok, you have finished the book. to reward you for making it all the way through, here is a cupon:

ten bucks off a gigolo!


2 comments

2 Comments so far

  1. Chris January 22nd, 2010 10:22 am
  2. szaszha January 24th, 2010 1:15 am

    man, steve. this is heavy shit! the part about the hosts getting wacked by yakuza is especially gripping. i thought i had read all of your site, even the old home despot stuff, but i managed to miss this somehow. what a hidden treasure! its so amazing when you translate books like this. literature like this just does not cross my path in american bookstores, or even on the internet most of the time! i really look forward to your future translations. and you should feel free to put more “editor’s notes” in, because it really puts shit in perspective for the rest of us gaijin, plus your shit is always funny and poignant. brah fucking voh man!

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