Tokyo Damage Report

PSYCHOHOLIC REVOLT: cracks, dildos, spiderz


Overall this show was wack. Only three bands, but the price was higher than a five-band show. As if through some twisted logic, the set-up times between bands were stretched out maybe triple the normal times, as if to compensate for the lack of bands: "Well, it takes the same amount of time, so. . . " Plus the people were kind of standoffish and unfriendly. However, the dancing made up for it! Read on. . .


these guys came out in matching leopard-print bathrobes, and then stripped! Psychobilly dudes all Rocky Horror style. The music was slow, grinding ’50s, more like the Cramps than like some fast, wild Eddie Cochran stuff.

the gentleman on the right was so boss — there are very few people on the Earth that get a haircut shaped like a human vulva, and then think, "Damn, this is boring. This is just the most square vulva-shaped haircut evar. what can I do to really spice this up?" and then gets a big 666 tatooed on the side of it. You can’t see but on the other side of his head he has some pig testicles just straight-up stapled to his temple.

Definitely the most scary thing about the band is everyone had the haircut of the In Living Color guy: shaved on the sides, dreds on top in a little pony tail. I think that was the part that freaked me out the most. Someone in the band had made this equation:

Sweet Translvanian Transvestite Plus Elvis Plus Living Color Hair Plus Japanese = total statisfaction. Oh, plus we’re called dildos.



No costumes? No customized wood bass with skulls and three-dee flames shooting out of it? I dunno. Psychobilly without a gimmick is like glam rock with no makeup and small hair- pointless. It’s not like anybody listens to it for the musical value! Although I did rather like homey’s "metal on top, kind of ’50s on the bottom" gee-tar. Sort of the Mullet of the guitar world.

Plus the guy on the left. That is his real hair. Incredibly he was NOT in a band.




They are zombies!

They have capes!!

The loud rock vibrations soften and tenderize your brain, so it becomes succulent and ripe tasting like a fine fois gras!!

The music was an indistinct blend of anthemic, singalong punk and rockabilly. But they performed vigorously and everyone had fun — but the main part of the show was not the band, but the dancers!

The dude on the right is making a priceless face.

Turns out the national Psychobilly Dance or whatever is just punching people. I think it’s called "rumbling." New-school hardcore kids think they invented it, but they didn’t. These guys just plant their feet square on the ground and throw blows. Fists are swung sideways to avoid head injury. It started out hella violent, but the only thing the ‘billy guys like more than punching is cigarettes. So by the second band they were all winded and wheezy: "Must. . . Keep . . .Punching. . .. Zombies . .. will . . .eat me. . . Must. . . Keep. . . . Punching. . . "

That’s also why most of these pictures are opaque!!! It was basically like we were inside a giant, rocking cigarette for 5 hours.


In the beginning of the show, there was some static in the pit – The ‘billy guys vs. modern-day working-class construction dudes who saw them punching each other, and thought it was a real fight, and tried to join in.

It’s unusual to see the rumble-dance, but even more so becuase everyone looks the same and has the same exact hair. It seems like it could be ONE REALLY FAST GUY, FIGHTING HIMSELF!!!

then they have this one dance move, above,called Four Guys Just Whale On A Motherfucker For Nothing At All.

The shows are, as you would expect, 99% dudes. But the 1% of women who do go are so much more gorgeous than women from other rock-styles. I was scared to ask for a picture of the ‘billy girls on the off-chance that these dudes were straight, they might get jealous and Rumble me something awful.


malt’s beer and what looks like white rice = pukeabilly!


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