Tokyo Damage Report

DOOM: dot (.), coffins, snowline, songs from thousand downfall, zenocide, sithter


THE NOISE UNDERGROUND #3
@ earthdom,


snowline

They played very generic atmospheric-post-hardcore, mostly in 6/8. for those of you who do not know what atmospheric post-hardcore is, don’t worry. you are not missing anything. A. P-HC is bands like ISIS or OLD MAN GLOOM that make the audience sit through like 10 minutes of quiet, repetitive music in order to hear "the loud part" — it is pretentious and wrong. Why do you make the audience wait so long for the rocking part? And when you finally DO play loud, you only do it for 8 bars, and then it’s back to quiet again. fuck that. get it right: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THE QUIET PART. (they respond: "the audience will like what i TELL them to like! I am an ARTIST!!!")

Jesus. I tend to picture all of these bands as stern, unloving, super-uptight Christian parents: "All good things come to those who wait, Sweetie. I could buy you that bicyble, but you’ll enjoy that bicycle more if you have to work for it. Get a paper route or something. No elbows on the dinner table! This is the Lord’s house!"

anyway this band had a lame interpretation of a lame genre, made even lamer by the sound-lady’s decision to set the mixer to "99% bass guitar." (the bass guitar played a total of, i think, 2 notes during the whole set.)

 

SONGS FROM A THOUSAND DOWNFALL

These guys started off quiet so i assumed they were another band like the first band and went outside to buy fig newtons and earplugs. came back in 10 minutes later to find they were still playing the same exact 4 notes. But in a good way. basically this band is Ravel’s BOLERO: they gradually build one chord progression for 15 minutes, working their way to an unbearably heavy climax. The one guy started headbanging in his chair, which made me feel sort of sorry for him. This band was kind of rediculous but kind of cool, too ^ they made me rock out against my better judgement.

Here is the rediculous part: they only played 2 songs. each song only had 4 notes.

the first song was : E — D- C- B.

the second song was E- EFLAT – C- B.

for those of you who were not in high school band, that is THE EXACT SAME NOTES except one note is changed by half a step. i was like, you gotta be kidding me. They probably have a flyer at Kinkos right now being printed up : SONGS FROM THOUSAND DOWNFALL’S NEW ALBUM, OUT IN FALL: E -D-C- B FLAAAAAAT!!!!! FEATURING ALL NEW NOTE." and then in the Impact font, underneath: "CAN YOU FUCKING HANDLE IT????????????????????" THE FLATNESS OF THE B???"

also, the progression of the first song (the song where they play D instead of Eflat) is the exact same as the Led Zeppelin song "Babe I’m Gonna Leave You," which made me picture Robert Plant singing for the band: 5 Japanese guys trying to be very heavy, serious, and spooky, with one white guy all pounding a tamborine wearing a blouse and yodeling. that would have been SO FUCKING PERFECT.

  • Other ideas i had for a singer for this band:
  • a really short, bald guy who would enter from the back of the club with no microphone and tap each audience member indvidually on the shoulder and then whisper to them, "Can you handle it? Yeah, think about it!"
  • The crazy middle-aged guy in Yoyogi Park who goes to the most crowded section of the park every Sunday and screams "With Or Without Youuuuu" acapella for 5 hours every Sunday, by himself. Actually that guy would be an improvement over most singers of most bands.
  • Flavor Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaav.

 

 

DOT (.)

dot started out with a 10 minute no-drums drone-and-feedback instrumental.

with a flute.

IT was really good- they’ve added a synthesyzer guy that just makes old-school-analog whooshing noises. Rather than being gimmicky, it gives their sound more depth. The drone song in particular had hella layers and enough harmonic overtones to keep the one note interesting for 10 minutes. The lady (right) was checking her own cellphone during the song. Which i totally busted on her : "You’re using your cell DURING YOUR OWN SET???" She was like, well, you know, and kept on texting.

The drone song was cool. I can imagine some Dot fan thinking "Whoa man this is so avant garde!" but really it went down more like this: "Crap! we still owe the label two 7"s, and we are out of songs. Quick, let’s just feed back for 10 minutes and call that our new hit."

Then they played more tunes. The new songs seem to be a little faster and more groovey, with some odd meters as well. Basically everything about this band has gotten better.

The bassist’s wife had to go to a mandatory corporate drinking party, so he had to bring his kid to the live show. The kid is 4 years old and incredibly obsessed with pro wrestling. He spent the whole show in the bar area attacking everyone. He was held upside down, twirled, twisted into a pretzel, and tickled but he just wouldn’t stop. Frankly he was the star of tonight’s show and the bands were an add-on. I wish I could show you a picture but dude might grow up to rebel against his father by being a respectable businessman, and so i don’t want to jeapordize his future by posting any bizzarre photos of him on the interweb.

 

 

XENOCIDE

 

They played some fairly boring fake CORRUPTED style songs. just vocals, drums, and guitar. all their stuff sounds exactly the same but it never really achives a groove. Plus it is impossible to take a decent picture of the singer.

 

COFFINS

 

Dot had the worst sound of all the bands tonight. I tried all the usual tricks one tries in a Tokyo club: earplugs out, earplugs in, earplugs WAY in, fingers pressed directly against eardum . .. nothing! there was no way to hear what notes anyone was playing. Luckily i was too drunk to care.

 

 

 

SITHTHER

 

No, that is NOT the lady from Gallhammer.

 

I asked the bassplayer (above) what the name means – it sounds like a wonderful portmonteau of Zither, Sister, Shitter, Slither, and Sifter.

try this 3 times fast: MY SISTER’S ZITHER SLITHERED INTO THE SIFTER’S SHITTER.

Anyway she said it was Sith, like from star wars, with the English "-er" ending added to make it mean "one who does Sith." Like, you know, how a linebacker is one who linebacks, or a rocker is one who rocks?

Of course, my next question was, Are all your songs a rock opera about space lasers? (A: no)

but still, as far as bands without a rock opera go, SITHTHER did a pretty good job:

 

 

In fact i have no memory of this band at all, thanks to the club’s too-lenient ins-and-outs policy, as well as its proximity to a liquor store. Back in the ’80s, I used to read Flipside magazine – the L.A. punk zine – and every show review would degenerate into a discussion of how wasted the reviewer was. i used to HATE that. And yet now I do the same thing. At least I’m living in a real city.

 

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