Tokyo Damage Report

department H : bodybuilder version


like I said before – department H is tokyo’s exhibitionist- voyeur – gay – straight – fetish party. I always wondered why people here are so low-key. I never see drunks or people obviously on drugs. Even the people doing s/m or body piercing do so in a very quiet, "Oh well, another day, another dollar!" kind of way.


Maybe it’s because everyone here is in their late 30s or 40s!


so, where do young pervs go??

anyway . . .



the Emcee, Miss Margaret, wearing her famous Silver-Surfer-As-Sexual-Asparagus costume, introduces tonight’s guests:

an international crew of bodybuilders!


These guys were awesome because , even though they took bodybuilding very seriously, they were totally and deliberately goofy – striking silly comic book hero poses, and totally trying to steal attention from whoever had the microphone.

After the bodybuilders got introduced, the drag queens came on one by one, like Marge Simpson here. . .

Usually the queens do a fashion catwalk into the audience. but this time, the bodybuilders carried the queens up and down the catwalk! and some of the queens were bigger than the musclemen, which was pretty funny.


This dude with the ’80s speedmetal haircut was some Kung Fu champ, carrying a guy dressed like an Anime princess. If only regular society could be so ecumenical. . .

These guys’ sense of humor was so profound i could have watched them all night. it was not the serious preening of models, nor the anxious camp of drag-queens. the only thing i could compare their attitude to was pro-level air guitarists.

a cameraman came on the catwalk to take pictures of a muscleman. but then another muscleman came in front of him all like, "no! take ME!" and then another muscleman stepped in front of HIM, and so on. . .the poor cameraman could only retreat down the catwalk until there was no more room to stand, and he fell down on his back!





You know historical re-enactment societies , like Civil War dress-up guys or whatever? well this catfight took it way more back in history!

ancient egypt, above, was the ref, for one thing!

ancient Rome, being introduced by Takao Nakano (japan’s John Waters, for once not in his Divine-meets-cockroach-meets-Wonder-woman costume)

and her opponent below –

the barbarian horde! possibly Huns, or maybe a relative of Ghengis Khan?

Rome starts things off with a boot to the Hun’s cooch!

here’s my favorite thing about catfights: the millions of dollars in state-of-the-art camera equipment.

here, Rome tears off the Hun’s mask (top right corner)

I have no idea!


never mind her boobies – check out her facical expresion! who can figure such a thing out?








our narrarator – a bedouin of several genders. a gender-bendoin if you will.

a shoeshine boy gets treated roughly by a princess

Honestly i couldn’t figure out a thing they were saying so i bailed after that.





Yay! a masochist in a full-body flourescent-snakeskin mummy suit!

This is SHIBARI, the traditional rope bondage. But he’s spicing it up by tying her to a rotating hook in the ceiling.

A romantic kiss, and then . . .

she spins on the hook! (also now she has a plastic bag over her head for asphyxiation)

now – spinning while blacklights make her mummy-suit flouresce.


Now he whips out the god damn electric shock-clubs, and zaps her while she spins.

Then for the finale, he adds some fiber-optic glowing cables which spin in the opposite direction from her body, creating this wonderful floating-egg / 2001 space-fetus image.






This guy was the raddest. He didn’t speak the whole time. I don’t even know if he could SEE. I thought that dudes with Carnivale-sized Sailor Moon masks over their real heads was the most creepy, but my man here took things to a whole nother level. That is perilously close to Ed Gein territory.


Onan Sperm-maid, the Anime Princess guy, and Margaret return to emcee the talk-show part of the show.

Above, new Akihabara idol-group CUTIE PAI. They also played a live show tonight, but no cameras were allowed. They were terrible. Like, the middle chick was lipsynching but didn’t move her lips. They did have one good song, called PLAYBOY PLAYBOY PLAYBOY PLAYBOY PLAYBOY PLAYBOY PLAYBOY NO!!

This is a pretty average picture of the Department H menagerie. Middle-aged Dirty Cop, some guy in an Italian Opera mask, and his friend the junior-high-school PE student with a ball-gag in her mouth, and then some gay exhibitionist dude that looks like Keith Richards.

This couple was promoting some kind of cyber/ s/m party.

Rad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s the moustache that makes it. The gentleman on the left is wearing a very gay parody of the costume from some specific traditional festival.

Here’s me throwing up the Dub with my pal, who works at a Ginza fetish bar. She was also the inflatable-vynyl creature from last month’s Department H – the costume that looked like a Jim Woodring creature.

This woman in a cat costume was clawing and pouncing on the chinese acrobats’ silk scarves. for , like, a long time.

Last but not least – a naughty nurse!!! You gotta have a naughty nurse.


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  1. 兎 April 11th, 2012 11:34 pm

    This place looks really interesting :)

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