Tokyo Damage Report

Gothic bar Heaven


vanished empire


featuring DJ CHIHIRO. – on the left, with the face.

This band sounded like Skinny Puppy if Skinny Puppy only used ‘General MIDI’ sounds.

Every song went like this: disco drums, no snare, four basic punk chords (one bar each) with some distorted synth melody over the top nonstop the whole time.

They had a song where the chorus was: " I WANT! TO BE! VAMPIRE!"


These guys were pretty wretched. They were all genki and trying to feebly "rock out." It was like Loverboy or something. Why were they on the bill?

The only cool thing about this band was that the guitarist – with his bleached hi-top-fade and his blue coveralls was a dead ringer for PIGMEN’s singer. Actually that’s not even cool – it’s embarassing for PIGMEN. Which is funny. And cool.


This band had the raddest concept, like one of those old Marvel "WHAT IF. . .?" comics.

What if Rob Halford and Nina Hagen did a band together?

(also, that huge bruise on Rob’s inner thigh? That’s not the scar from some rough trade, that’s a really pretty tattoo of . . . a squid!)

Above, Mr. Halford weilds his light-saber.

This picture has "Generic Extensions Vynyl Bustier Girl" straddling an exercise ball. "And one! And two! And left! And right! Grip with both legs, people. C’mon!!" It’s the Goth-a-robics portion.

(actually it’s the beret of the girl in front, but WTF, I can dream, can’t I?)

This guy above, was totally un-neccesary, but he fit the dress code, and plus the Union said they had to hire a 5-man crew.


I didn’T get a picture, but Rob Halford also had these genius-level Clown Shoes . Like, Patent leather Doc Martens with enlarged toes. Fuck!


Below: Nina invents a new dance move: the Extension-Bang.

I should probably comment on the music but who cares?

CUSTOM MUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Custom Mummy in the house!!!! It’s been literally 4 years since I saw them. Fuck yeah!!!!

Custom Mummy is the industrial offshooot of the famous "doll-head-chamber-music band" Maple Mummy. Honestly I prefer Maple Mummy’s delicate tones, but if you haven’t had any kind of Mummy in 4 years, you’ll take what you can get.

Here’s Akira, putting his foot up on the table and fiddling with some bits. He committed the Gothic Doll Head Faux Pas of showing up to the gig with the same hairstyle as the DJ in the first band. (‘sheer coincidence!’, he assured me).

Bass mummy got a very important call in the middle of a song:

But she couldn’t hear because Akira was knob-twiddling too loudly:

The "cellphone call in the middle of the performance" is one of the traditional forms of Japanese humor – used in breakdance contests, DJ battles, standup, bluegrass hootenanies, koto festivals, Butoh dances, etc. Here is the thing: it never. Gets. Old. I am not being sarcastic here – "cellphone call in the middle of the performance" has somehow gone beyond cliche to become a tradition, like Thanksgiving or Your Mama.

Anyway, I really like this band and I hope that "Mardi Gras Giant Head music" will become like Christian Rock: one copy-band for every existing genre of real music.


This lady, one of the posse of shin-grabbing, snaggle-toothed single moms that swarm the stage when DJ Chiro’s on . . .she had a birthday event.

The classic "Beer-gut pierced Mission District Lesbian" on the right made me homesick for San Francisco. I was like, "Fuck cakes, I want a burrito with mad salsa verde."

The other dj was the lovely and talented sumaQ – in case you’re wondering what the kanji spelling is, it’s:


She usually runs the CHOCOLATE CHIWAWA used clothes-and-ill-novelties store in Kouenji.

Recently, homegirl’s been doing some DJ stuff. She told me her first-ever DJ set consisted of playing a full speech by TOGO KEN – Japan’s Harvey Milk. Apparently dude got to be an official candidate in the general Prime Minister Election, which means they had to let him on TV with the rest of the douchebags. Dude gave a manifesto of gay rights to 1,000,000 people and blew everyone’s fuckin’ minds. Anyway, SumaQ’s performance tonight was not so, er, conceptual. She did some obscure Gothic/darkwave stuff that people almost danced to!

No comments

No comments yet. Be the first.

Leave a reply