Tokyo Damage Report

2008 winter engrish

december New Year engrish bonanzaaaa!

Below – the Boy George store:

Below: guess what this is?

Yes. You can find it at Yoyogi JR Station, and I think Shinjuku station as well! Great for making vacation soviniers. Suvineers. Souvineirz. Fuck.

Above: the Comwell group’s stand-up comedy seminar.


Above, KNT! It’s not dirty. They do group tours.

Wait, that makes it worse.

Um. Below the logo it says, "tour box."

They just keep digging the hole deeper, don’t they?

Men’s Shop found in akihabara. Details at eleven.

Below: can you spot the next president of the US??

above, the OI dental clinic. Lots of skinheads joke about giving someone "Dr. Marten dental work," but this guy is actually doing it. hard core!

Seriously, though, skins have like a dozen synonyms for that – ‘boot sponge’, ‘curbing’, and so on. What kind of total pussy bases his whole fighting technique on "kicking a defeated opponent who is already down"?

Shaved pussy, that’s who.

Shaaaaaaaaaaaved pussy.

Above , more Japanese sarcasm.

OK, so there’s this rapper PIES. or PILES, or something. His catchphrase is "I’m a goon!"- and he has several necklaces as evidence of this. Goon being ‘street’ word for a stick-up kid.


My favorite necklace is a black ski-mask made out OF BLACK DIAMONDS (perhaps coal?) with GOON on its forehead.

Now we travel across the mighty Pacific Ocean and find –

Pinky pink girlie-wrulie baby diapers . . GOON style. They came on the market at the same time as PIE’s new album. Is it a promotial tie-in? Is it for parents (like me) who want to raise the toughest motherfuckers in pre-school? Or is it something more personal for Mr. PIE?

Let’s take a closer look at his album .. .

OK, I think I see the issue here. That’s the BEFORE photo.

Because of his bowel situation, he’s SPONSORED by a Japanese diaper company. As a way of ofsetting his spiraling diaper costs, he let the company choose his catchphrase. A savvy businessman, our Mr. PIES.

In the near future, we’ll see this ad (the AFTER photo) :

goon website here.


First of all, this hair salon means "THE HAIR" french. Classy!

But what if I can’t speak Japanese?

Well then! OK!!!


After all that Engrish, it’s time for some good old American:

. . . the tiger-stripe briefs aren’t too bad either.


Below, !!!!!

It’s another only-in-Japan treat: the Pet Paw Shower – because your doggie can’t take his shoes off when he comes in the apartment.



Below, I’m pretty sure me and 100 other people already posted this, but you really can’t be too ghetto:

That’s right: it’s a beastiality rebus! "Whale Bonin’ Island." I think we’ve all been there at one time or another.

But, on a gas tank of a moped?


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