Tokyo Damage Report

search strings!

for those of you who don’t know what a search string is . . . when you go to ‘google’ or something, and you type in a phrase and ask google to search for webpages on that topic? well, my friend, you just typed in a ‘search string.’

and when you visit the sites that Google brings up in response, that website’s ‘stat tracker’ programs send your search string to the web page’s owners. and that’s how come i know that 15 people came to my site every god damn day looking for ‘FAKE DICK URIAN TEST.’

so, here is a list of ALL the funny search strings i got in 2003. . .(it helps if you read it out loud as if you were reading some Byron or Dante epic, but it’s not totally vital)




elf japan

yaoi manga – fake

maxim spore face surgery

"man ho" gay

Bundling fetish

mailbox pranks

fake Louis Voutton

pictures completely naked sumo wrestlers

Mentally insane based dialogues

humping tights

dogwalker advertisment

lyrics to cindy lopper

the hulk coloring picture

irish porn stars

mullet killed on a roller coaster

japanese wedgie

"gucci fanny pack"

gay flirt with men in rear vision mirror

masonic grotto pics


"gay pirates" music

video of Japanese School Girls Hit By Train

big bottoms, big bottoms, talk about mudflaps, baby she’s got em

gay breakups

seagull vertebrae pictures

Freud castration

bitter breakups

rude not to return phone calls emails dating

the incredible shrinking man, freud

to rent plants in tokyo

soapland gloves

cocaine cut with bisquick


dreadlocks for balding men

Christian skits on gossip

skits for volleyball

lady shystie

pictures showing maggots eating necrotic flesh

incarcerated male XXX personal ads with photo

japan mud schoolgirl

pirate tshirt

24 hour Robo Shop in Tokyo

satire berkowitz

boxing gloves fetish

freud terror


Incredible Hulk Nude

panda tattoo japan

fellatio thesis


the twelve days of quanza

how to deal with breakups

stupid skits

"asian fetish" feminists

dirty dishy wives

free comedy skits for teens

Male stewardess uniform

ask women kick nuts

mud flaps pictures vagina

Lolicon Hentai
(this is awesome just because I thought it said LINCOLN HENTAI)

Limbaugh Pretty Woman

hello kitty decorating

freud crawling

derriere Jennifer Anniston Oprah

indian comedy skits

rush limbaugh hates catholic

Fuck Rush Limbaugh

pretty girl einstein stove urban legend

new idea gumball vending machine

women in grindcore

"Blue Booger"

anime paizuri

Honk Kong Phooey Midi File

taxidermists punk

bullying girls groin kick*

funny quadriplegics penis sex stories

bestio poetry

jerry falwell and iron maiden

"Kick guys"

hip hop fakers boobs and ass

rush limbaugh and paula abdul

golda maier woman bio

japanese slang term fat

"woman vs man" wrestling

rude breakups

vegetarian sarcasm

"american top 40 rap"

homer incredible hulk

Dali Schmuck

White women getting married to black men picks

printing fake restraining orders

jewish, skits, funny

fob pranks

Tom Arraya Pinochet

gothic personals w4m

green envy etemology

"chocolate shake", recipie

surreal fucker

"avoid thinking about sex"

avoiding breakups partner

scary men who rape and stalk message board

bozon france flood

denzel pranks

galaga theme song -ringtone

"sound effect" cum

penis machine stimulator TENS UNITS

internet dating for losers

looking for self surgical castration instructions video

comedy skits for girls

punk advice

hentai choose your own adventure

women fetishes

inspiration satire poster

gay armpit fetish

cocaine addicts nude pics

porn or pop japan

"happy to break up with her"

rush limbaugh compared to john boy and billy


what kills finger nail bacteria/fungus

chinese women gold diggers

punk hello kitty pictures

limp dick humiliation stories

Sarcasm politics

PreTeen Pageant Advice, Rules ETC.

crowd surfing panties

christian skits about temptation

punker stove operation

hijras dating

pitbull game fights caught on tape

old bags arguing satire

punk kitty napkins

"gay bar names"

japanese chikan stories

Count Grishnacht

japanese women wedgies

Video Game Characters Nude

a japanese on the computer free game where the cartoon clothes come off as you play

Rush Limbaugh is an evil scumbag

siamese twins cocks

lesbian japanese dictionary

alternative rock puddle of muddle





so as you are reading this, ask yourself. . . which is weirder:

a) that someone typed these in to google?

b) that Google thought I would be able to help them?






"dad’s huge cock"

lawn pranks

anti-circumcision stickers

"astronomically small"

dumm cop stories


freaks losers and punk chicks . (!)

skits aerobics .

gut busting enema deaths .

sophisticated pranks .

pig-nose bondage .

blackbeard giant schnauzers .

enema stories long tube high .

i walk around with yayo all up in my nasal .

redundant foreskin .

girl forcibly stripped audience .(!)

castration directions .

play wrestling with socks on no shoes .

gothic wedding marriage vows "I do" .

falsies on heat

japanese miniskirt glasses

emotion of eunuch community

slayer rush limbaugh

corey haim freebase

mullet extensions

inter racial murders

"kissing her ass" sister .

Pedicure humor .

christian skits and human videos for teens . (!)

incredible hulk alcohol drink .

Finger anus toddler stories .

Lemmy’s greasy hat .

women collect life insurance from there morbidly obese men .

African American cosplayers .

abortion skits .

punk plumber?,definition .

ishkabibble bible .

japanese dictionary fart .

"mafia" "rap" "suspenders" .

rush limbaugh pagan OR heathen .



used japanese panties .

how to deal with breakups .

(i just like how those two were right next to each other.)


anus of woman in corea with picture .

(this is also good because i thought it said,

"anus of woman in HER CORNEA.")



irresponsible dating .

david plotz Busted Flush .

japanese girl’s nose fetish .

japanese blowing job .(!)

incredible hulk smile picture .

asian white "death rock" fat girl .

non porn women fights . (!)

nude naked incredible hulk .

(because if he’s just nude, it’s not that hot.)

" against gospel music" .

string puppets, ninjas .

Agoraphobic Nosebleed tee shirts .

japanese men grope .

(there’s a video i’d rent. . . japanese men groping Agorophobic Nosebleed shirts. hubba hubba!)

hydrogen humor . (!)

christian skits death .

Freud and the Phalanx Symbol . (!)

Pantera Latex Gloves .

"asian-american women" and stuck-up .

japanese culture and pornography .

photos of the different look of vagina between girls and woman .

punk rock hello kitty coloring pages .

lego weird models gross .

traditional japanese tentacle porn – requests!!

(i love how it’s ‘traditional’, like they were doing it back in the samurai days, between tea ceremonies or something…)

child feeding tube pump backpack .

matey bubble bath slogan

tokyo pubic vending .(!)

waki waki fetish .

young girl farting free .

"humiliation""worms eye"

fake dick for urian test

. (i like how this ‘search string’ comes up every other day, ALWAYS MISSPELLED THE SAME WAY!!)

sexy girl graffitti characters .

what is the most popuar fishing game in the us

.(you mean there’s lots of popular fishing games already? and no one even told me ????)

White Thugs Personal Ads .

japanese guys speedos .

lego gundam blueprints

"dungeons and dragons" porn cartoon .

renuzit penis can .

lesbian farting .

walrus sexual fermions . (!)

dating ads with drug use option . (!)

korean breakdance battles .

"black people" at goth clubs? .

psychosis islands .

catfight wedgies .

sperm speedos jacking .

Cute Dwarf Ultraman .

aristocratic sarcasm .

(is this like ‘sophisticated pranks?’)

yokel stories



please keep in mind that, in addition to being search strings, these are also ALL names of Japanese punk bands.





destroying romance and love

centurion and hostile environment and pictures

how to build a lego ziggurat

redundant foreskin

skit blood carpet Bob and Tom comedy

sloppy wookie retired poop

young innocent eunuch

beastiality syncopate

Lego Hitties

"thumbs up" "picture" "mullet"

selling rostrums

wacky, Japanese, farting

cat digging claws in thigh dreams

drinking and breakups

The Incredible Hulk knitting patterns

rules of a gold digger

how to become a female gold digger

kogal thighs 1 1.54%

is internet dating for losers

mormons guns violence

pictures of japanese kids on pocket bikes

ghengis khan rhyming slang


incredible hulk headboard

kids g-rated bondage


skank spanker

vibrator sound effect

motherfucker humor


rush limbaugh liposuction

dreams about snakes eating or wrapping around me

poop spooged all over my balls diaper

"Asian" "female" "occult" "dating"

doctor merkin prostate

"Bon Jovi is bad"







q-tip fetish

The effects of eating pastrami and before swimming is bad?


flying rectoms

crazed punk gerbil number

Japanese poop diet

lyrics for the song zookeeper booty drop

incredible hulk scrubs

(does TLC know about this??)

top ten reasons to date a snowboarder

um, excellent question . . oh, wait. . . you said ‘DATE.’


"slapstick" AND "glue" AND "chair"

leather codpiece gay

Dr. Dre transvestites

incredible hulk gloves – with noises

abortion God skits

Pictures of some girls with a big booty when there wearing there tights on.

testicle kicking is o.k.

short stories of booger eating fetish by women when no one sees them

most perverted perversions

christian corny skits

japanese and cute pixels

buddha life’s a bucket of shit

"up a butt"

the aquarium dismemberment plan 2 0.

disgusting things seen in cheap hotels

tokyo tickle culture

virgina monolog (!!!) and feminism

armageddon gerbil kinky

louis voutton rapper

moss skits

incredible hulk bowling ball

painful Whitehead in ass crack

"women" "treat" "ugly" "men"

bay bear castration

kissinger pissing

Cute Dwarf Ultraman

Stories romance elves

clear blue orca inflate fetish

slop ozzy quake

boson screen dump

japanese mount fuji hentai (!!!)

crossover totem mite

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