Tokyo Damage Report


 Oh shiiit! A 12-band show! Basically it was 2 shows in one: a crusty/jappacore show, all infiltrated with a ‘70s pogo-punk show. I have not seen so many good bands on a bill in many a year. I blew off GAUZE to come to this motherfucker. All the bands are middle-aged, pissed-off uncles. All these scary, sketchy old-school hardcore guys crawled out from mysterious places to attend this show. It was kind of like a re-union, a real rad vibe.

Made me think about old-guy punks though. Back in the day, the punk critique of pop AND heavy metal is that they weren’t about real shit: they didn’t confront the BRUTAL REALITY and let the listener escape into a fantasy land of dragons or demons or discos or whatever. So it’s rad that these old bands don’t give up or sell out. . . but at the same time, if they are REALLY about KEEPING IT TRUE TO REALITY and shit, they should have middle-aged songs: DIAPER ARMAGEDDON! FORGOT TO PAY THE PHONE BILL GODDAMN IT I THOUGHT I ALREADY PAID IT THIS MONTH FUCKIN’ ARMAGEDDON!  THRASHING ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION! HERNIATED DISC FUCK SHOULDN’T OF LIFTED THAT COUCH MY FUCKIN’ BROTHER IN LAW GOD DAMN IT. . . .
Come to think of it, they should just play country music covers.


anyway, click on the bands’ names to go to their official sites and tell them TDR sent you. For some reason these crusty punks are generally on fuckin’ myspace.

Missed ‘em. But you can see their photos here.

Old-school BURNING SPIRITS style Japanese hardcore.  The guitarist from LIFE, the drummer from DSB and the singer, who is a trip – He always looks like Genghis Khan, if Genghis were about to jack Mel Gibson for some of that scarce gasoline and then split the loot with Tina Turner. I sort of imagine that he’s got a house full of some esoteric  material – medival Chinese torture history books or all the original Beagle Diaries from Charles Darwin or some shit, and you’d be like “?!????” and he’d be like, “What? You thought I was just a thug?” I dunno. Aside from the drummer, no one in this band was really trying hard.

Really simple 1-4-5 oi-punk, but without the call-and-response choruses that make that genre tolerable for me. They always get some people pogo-ing, so they’re fun like that. They all seemed tired, this time. The guitarist was even heckling the drummer for fucking up.

WARHEAD(from 京都) ??? or maybe OUTSIDER??
This band played generic 1981 English hardcore, not like Discharge, but like some band that might have had an Exploited poster on their wall. I never really liked English non-discharge hardcore, but for a while Exploited had this thing where their songs were so simple, so one-note-ish,  and so long, it became kind of a james-brown-ish groove, kind of a hypnotic polka. But WARHEAD didn’t copy that part, so whatever. Their singer did some comical poses and made a face exactly like Yoshio from ASSFORT, which was cute but also kind of awkward. Who bites a facial style???

Tom and (the) boot boys are kind of the “mascot” of the Tokyo hardcore scene – the pogo-punk band that even burning-spirits guys love. It’s because they are so incompetent. The singer is this charismatic drunker (‘drunker’ is Japanese English, so roll with it) who can barely stand up, but is more entertaining than 90% of the “intense, hawd-coah” singers, because he actually looks the crowd in the eye and heckles them. He introduced every single song as ATTACK OF PUNKS! LET’S GO! This band is notorious for never being able to get through a song, but tonight they took it to a nother level – the bass player did not show up. For a second, they had the HAT TRICKERS’ bass fill in, and  the guitarist spent a good 3 minutes trying to TEACH HIM THE SONG , ON STAGE, while the singer kept yelling ATTACK OF PUNKS! ATTACK OF ALCAHOL! CHAOS! GO GO GO! And then they played the song, and the bassist kept playing after the rest of the band stopped, so the singer was like (in Japanese)*”are you trying to make us look bad? You’re out of the band!” and got all Simon Cowell on his ass. Then the bass player finally showed up and they rocked out for a while, it was an attack. Of punks. And nudity. And underpants. And falling face-first into drums and speakers. There was a good 2 minutes of delay between each song – the singer would remind us that this was  LAST SONG! FOR REAL! ATTACK OF PUNKS! LET’S GO! And the rest of the band would try to figure out how to play the song, then after the song the singer would try to kick the bass player out. The audience loved every second of it.

Life just wrecked the place. Everyone in that band is a genius. All the pretty girls that came to the stage for DISCLAPTIES and HAT TRICKERS left the building for LIFE. I don’t think it’s sexist to say that, the less females like a band, the better that band is.

Hat Trickers got hellllllla folks dancing, probably the most of any band. All their songs sound like SHAM 69, if SHAM 69 were all zombies who were also from clockwork orange. All their fans have huge hair and sing along with all the words. I’m  not really a fan of anthemic British pub-rock, probably for the same reason I’m not a fan of bangers and mash, or footy on the telly.  But their mischevious long-nosed antics have made a fan of me.

My first-ever show in Japan was right here at ANTIKNOCK, : framtid, dsb, assfort, and gauze. So it was rad to see the same band in the same place 8 or 9 years later. And they are still scary as fuck.  Framtid could do a cover of ACHEY BREAKY HEART or SHADOW DANCIN’ and make it so heavy that cops would drive past the venue and crash their car into a pole. Framtid just killed everyone in the place and then killed us some more and for an encore, they double-killed us and used our bones to overthrow the military-industrial complex.
After the show I spotted the drummer at the 7-11. We were at adjoining registers when I busted some “politeness kung-fu” moves and paid for all his shit before he can react.  I was all HIIIIYAH! And exact change hit the countertop.

below, singer Makino in the middle of the crowd.

Order play ramones-speed pogo-punk with aw  whatever. Order got hosed. Even the best, heaviest band  will sound like pet shop boys  . . .IF THEY PLAY AFTER FRAMTID. I got no idea what the show promoters were thinking with this lineup. The only people who should go on after framtid should be like people that got condemned in a court of law, because that shit is a slaughter.

OUT SIDER (???) maybe WARHEAD???

Being 3 bands after framtid means you maybe live. But on the other hand, by this time my buzz was hellllla blown. Reality crisis came through, though. They invigorated motherfuckers with lyrics about nuclear death and starving orphans. The guitarist was so crusty he had crusty lederhosen OVER HIS REGULAR CRUSTY PANTS. That’s double the amount of pants in certain places!!!

8 comments Tags: , , , , ,

8 Comments so far

  1. Jo (los angeles,ca,us) June 1st, 2009 4:14 pm

    awesome Schultz!
    its also been that long that i have been enjoying TDR!
    FRAMTID kill! Shin(drums) is a really nice guy!
    woulda loved to see this show live. thanks for bringing it to us!
    really appreciate it!

  2. fake June 1st, 2009 5:44 pm

    “framtid” == “future” in swedish, FYI.

  3. kisoku June 2nd, 2009 12:22 am

    I am pretty certain the guy with the red mohawk and red wifebeater is the singer for warhead, saw them a few years back at bears.

  4. admin June 2nd, 2009 3:35 am

    @ fake: I heard that rumor, but wasn’t sure it was true!
    @kisoku: Warhead it is!

  5. Wysefool June 4th, 2009 11:03 am

    I’m still wondering – which story was drug fueled and which one was a dream?

  6. admin June 4th, 2009 6:02 pm

    Oh – my bad! Everyone was right – the POLYURETHANE PRANKS IN FAST FOOD RESTARAUNT one was a dream.
    The TEMPERMENTAL SNAKE-AND-DOME ORACLE COMBO one was the result of, uh, ‘off-label useage.’

  7. Connor July 24th, 2009 8:39 am

    Hey man I’m thinking of coming over from England for a Casualties show at Shinjuku Loft on October 4th but i need some help about how to go about it could you e-mail and gimme some advise about the place


  8. admin July 25th, 2009 1:03 am

    @ Connor: google “新宿 loft”

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