This event took place on July 4th.
While you foolish Americans were eating tubs of fireworks deep-fried in mayonaise, I was seeing naked jellyfish-women fighting crab-monsters at DEPARTMENT H – (a monthly fetish party for middle-aged Tokyoites. It’s kind of a exhibitionists-vs.-voyeurs battle where everyone wins. . . . if you’d like to go, the website is here.)
First, as usual, Margaret, the MC, introduced herself!
Then the go-go boys appeared and took their turn on the catwalk:
Then – sudden geisha dude!
Followed by – (Nancy Sinatra) / (Piet Mondrian) / (Rugby quarterback) in a three- way tie!
Here’s a close up : have you ever seen a drag-queen composed of LIVING , SENTIENT COTTON CANDY???
The Geisha was joined by what appears to be Madonna?
Then this dude shows up and basically wins:
SO! It’s an odd bunch of drag-queens: there is no lip-synching, no drama, no scandal. They do a turn on the cat-walk, and then mingle with the crowd, taking pictures.
It’s more like the guy in the Donald Duck suit at Disneyland, if you think about it. Maybe it’s because eveyrone is in their late ’40s? Makes me feel un-hip because I have no idea where the new queens go to do their thing. . .
SECOND ACT: the stripping bondage admiral!
You heard me.
First, the Admiral (pictured above in both my camera and another spectator’s camera!) lost her eaptulets, replaced them with a totally tiny pair of nipples, and then proceeded to swing around:
Eventually there was more nudity, but you get the idea. It was like some sort of clown-trapeeze act but with bondage ropes, and vaginas instead of poodles.
THIRD ACT: CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
The referee, of course, was Eva Braun:
her cleavage was prosthetic styrofoam. And instead of a Nazi riding-crop, she’s got . . . a futon beater. I hope that both of these trends catch on in the general public.
The emcee, as always was TAKAO NAKANO, and his friend. . . Blue-Brain Pincher GUy.
There were two fights going on at the same time: one was JELLYFISH VS. STRAWBERRY GIRL
THEN THEY kidnapped some woman from the crowd, and she transformed into a power ranger and had to fight CRAB LADY!!
The JELLYFISH – VS- STRAWBERRY match was all about T&A, but the CRAB LADY VS. BOOB RANGER match was more technical grappling.
above, the audience member completes her transformation.
I have to emphasize that both fights were going on AT THE SAME TIME.
ACT FOUR: KIGURUMI
KIGURUMI is the Japanese word for ‘full Mardi Gras-style face mask’ . The creepiness is outstanding.
The first kigurumi act was these three creatures, frolicing and dancing to pop.
This was followed by . . . .a KIGURUMI STRIPTEASE.
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), my camera ran out of batteries just after this photo was taken. Perhaps it committed suicide.
Anyway, you get the idea.
The rest of the night passed slowly, with tired perverts drinking and shuffling around in their manacles. There was a monstrously long talk show on stage. The only other thing was an older man – famous for being Japan’s #1 masochist – being dragged on stage in a leather horse-mask and nothing else. He looks like he’s in his ’60s and his entire back is covered in one giant Tom Of Finland tattoo. His friend explained that he (the masochist) was such a freak that he had cut off his own nipples and mutilated his own penis so badly that doctors had to insert a new tube in his taint for him to pass urine through. After a dramatic pause, the friend went on to exclaim, "What’s more. . . he’s also GAY!" Anyway, the poor dude was lifted up so that everyone could take photos of his mutilated genitals, and the emcee said, "He has requested that everyone yell DIE, YOU DISGUSTING PERVERT, DIE! a few times. OK, on three!" Anyway that was how 4 AM went down.
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