Tokyo Damage Report

cps, cunts JAPAN, coffins, carre, sine, hardcore dude, hair stylistics

 August 21 @ 20000V.

"WET PUSSY GETS WILD"  show, put on by Cunts Japan.




 Carre played noise – a mix of harsh ‘power electronics’ and blissed-out ambient whooshy stuff.  Always kept a really low-pitched oscilator going as a foundation, which is the kind of noise I like.

 Their set slowly segued from one emotional vibe to another. Limited old-school drum machines used tastefully. The only crap part was the guitar. No guitar solos, dude. (dude was wearing the Uyoku cap, above).

Below: the dudes’ electronics seem to explode with noise!





With guitar, drums, sax, and not one but two moogs, I expected SINE to be some Hawkwind clone. In fact, they had a pleasant mix of styles – any given song would feature a Hawkwind part, plus a heavy PROG bridge and a mercifully short reggae breakdown as well.  Most of the songs’ main riffs were rhythm-based, repetitive chants, rather than Hawkwind’s chord-progression-based bits. Everyone in the band moved around and got down, the drummer in particular looked like he was having the time of his life, all smiling and pounding overhand. The only weak link was the singer, who had a really terrible voice and a Panama hat and looked like he should have been Dungeon Mastering instead. "Your 3d level cleric gets attacked by a Wave Modulator! Roll saving throw vs. oscillators or suffer 3d6 reggae damage!"


The best guy was Mr. Stripey Shirt:  Check out his insaaane rig:

 What’s that smack-dab in the middle of all this ’70s gear ?

IPHONE. I see you trying to hide it!  I’m calling you out, motherfucker?!?!? 

BUSTED, dude! SO BUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still, I can forgive my man: the sounds he got from that rig were so dense, organic, full of rich harmonics and blissy while still being overpowering. .. 

Below, the other moog:










 CPS is always insane but for some reason tonight they doubled the intensity. Within the first song, the singer had dived into the crowd, poured garbage all over himself,  Writhed in the mess on the floor, and thrown a dozen porno DVDs into the crowd.










 These guys have been doing this for ten years. They have no illusions of getting a record deal. They don’t even try to tour overseas in tiny punk clubs.

They go out once a month and beat themselves up this bad for basically free, to an audience of 25 people. Why?






CUNTS: possibly the most inept band in the world. Imagine Masonna meets Spinal Tap Mark Two.

The cunts played a 10 minute set that began with a mouth full of vomit, and ended with the singer getting wrestled to the ground by some fed-up green-shirts in the audience.

The singer had his cheeks bulging out all chipmunk-style, and started the set with headlong stagedive . . . not for the purpose of crowd-surfing, but to reach the bathroom in the back of the club to puke! "Well now," you say, wouldn’t it of been more hardcore if he puked on the audience?" Yeah, but these are the politest cunts.

Anyway, they are a noise band. The drummer has both front teeth missing. His noise kit is basically the drums of the Stray Cats with a "contact microphone" on the hi-hat, which is run through a distortion pedal that somehow makes it sound 3 times as shrill as a regular hi-hat. He only plays blast-beats. That is the whole set-up, and it was thrown together about 4 minutes before they went on stage.




 Below, the audience: amused as hell.

The guy laughing his ass off on the right, in the carcass t-shirt, is the most awesome DJ ever :  in between bands, he played :

crotchduster, wu-tang unrelasesed demos, Slayer break-core, and le scrawl. Fuck! I don’t think other DJS should even be allowed.

 They were both so drunk they could barely stand. Below, the drummer tries to get the singer to speak but the singer is holding on to the speakers for dear life and can’t get any words out.

 Below: he sat like this for literally 50 seconds, staring into space with drool coming out. Yes, the drummer has lost his stick and is playing the snare with his palm.






 My one complaint about COFFINS was that the Jamie Hernandez-lookalike vocal didn’t move around enough. But he totally rocked the fuck out this time.

COFFINS are playing less doomy/hellhammery stuff these days – they got a bit more like early BOLT THROWER, but with more evil and less chugga chugga.


It was during this set that I had a major epiphany: coffins need to cover my war side 2 in its entirety.










Hardcore dudes: some kind of suicidal tendencies parody devoid of hostility OR actual thrashing. They just played rock music. huh?

Below: if you observe carefully, you can see that the singer’s lucha libre mask – the eye-holes are actually located inside golden muscles of a wrestler’s silhouette.

 below: the guitarist brought sheet music to the punk gig. The vocal is chiding him for taking too long to sight-read it.

 below: not only did they do a cover of circle jerks’ AMERICAN HEAVY METAL WEEKEND  (who has ever done a cover off WONDERFUL? even the circle jerks never play that!)

as if that was not random enough, the vocal is sight-reading the lyrics off of his iphone teleprompter.

As you can see from these examples, HARDCORE DUDE are not doing an obvious, Weird-Al-ish parody of american hardcore. Their parody is much more conceptual and idea-based.  Almost as if they were mocking the inability of Japanese to “get” American hardcore. Probably not that smart though. but still. Great idea.




 Aside from wearing a parliment-funkadelic t-shirt and having a cool band name,  this guy really had nothing to set himself apart from the average noise artist.


order his cds here – sample cd titles: I WAS GAY, BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE SHIT.

he seems to have some connection with VIOLENT ONSEN GEISHA. anybody know what the connection is exactly? is it the same dude?

 His style was more dischordant than CARRE. Um, whatever. I was tired and left.

I went to a new burrito place that opened up down the street. – not only did it take 15 minutes for the guy to make it, but there was no. Rice.

It was gristley carne asada, cheese, more cheese, and fried potatoes wrapped in a tortilla. WTF?  The final slap in the face? they had the nerve to call it THE AMERICAN BURRITO.

well, fuck you too, gringo! My wet pussy did not get wild with that burrito.

7 comments Tags: , , , , , ,

7 Comments so far

  1. Colin August 27th, 2009 8:55 am

    Great photos.. I walked past that venue that night but did not fancy heading alone and paying that in for some bands I did not know! I will know in future… Looks amazing I got to say. Keep up the great work, excellent blog.

  2. kurt August 27th, 2009 1:31 pm

    Lucha mask of Los Brazos. Famous lucha family. Lost their masks years ago to Los Villanos, I believe. Find some Brazo de Plata (Super Porky) on youtube.

  3. fizgig August 27th, 2009 2:49 pm

    I think Hair Stylistics is indeed violent onsen geisha, never heard it, but I always assumed it’d be good

    maybe it was one band too many that night

  4. Sarah August 28th, 2009 8:44 pm

    The Cunts sound sort of inversely fantastic.

  5. kellen August 29th, 2009 4:27 am

    I’m surprised you didn’t comment on the NOISE trucker hat. In copenhagen, I spied a similar hat!!

  6. admin August 29th, 2009 4:41 pm

    @kellen: nice! “hat solo!” Those two gentlemen should start a band. They could contact-mike their hats.

  7. paul May 15th, 2010 3:34 pm

    Sure you know this by know, but Asolutely….  Violent Onsen Geisha and Hair Stylistics are the same guy. 

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