Tokyo Damage Report

we need a new word


The English language needs a new word:

the word for the particular kind of relief one feels when one awakens from a blackout to discover that one has NOT blogged, tweeted or otherwise internetted any un-take-backable opinions.



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5 Comments so far

  1. doug October 8th, 2009 11:36 pm


  2. szaszha October 10th, 2009 7:50 pm

    i think we already have one: miracle

    “last nite i was so fucking trashed. i woke up outside my room in the hallway desperately clutching my wireless mouse. i looked to the computer and saw three empty sake bottles and four 16oz beer cans strewn around it. i thought, shit, what have i done on the internet now? it was a fucking miracle that i only posted a craigslist personal ad that could be quickly deleted. yet somehow a feeling of nagging fear persisted throughout the day.”

    *true story*

    mostly i’m too tired to wordinate right now. wait… i just did

    wordinate: to make up a new word

    “i kept trying to wordinate but couldnt come up with anything. i started drinking, thinking it would help, then i woke up in the hallway outside my room, desperately clutching my wireless mouse…”

  3. szaszha October 10th, 2009 8:07 pm

    wait. a kind of relief?

    ethylirious: to be relieved that you didnt drunk blog/tweet/text/etc

    “i awoke hanging out of my bedroom window. i could see a pile of vomit in the grass below, some of it streaked down the side of the building. my head was pounding and my soul was filled with terror but i was ethylirious when i realized i hadnt posted anything i shouldnt have”

  4. Shelby Cobras October 11th, 2009 11:07 am

    “Intercent”. A mix of the words “internet” and “innocent”. Duh.

  5. Jack Jack January 18th, 2013 2:39 pm

    When a middle-aged man who refuses to age gracefully gets a facelift and ceases to look human but is appropriate for elite crowds in Nashville or Branson, he has a kenirogersroasters.
    "Look at grampa and his pretty-lady eyes! His kenirogersroasters gives him distinction and implies that he is monied."
    Know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em, know when to pin them back into your receding hairline.

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