Tokyo Damage Report

WORST TEN ICE CUBE LINES

I’m not talking about lines I don’t agree with what he’s saying. I’m talking about rhymes that don’t quite work, or metaphors that are rediculous, or general awkwardness.

 

OH, and my cube TOP 20 LINES  list is here:

 

I’m not trying to diss – sometimes the most awkward, failed rhymes stick in your head for a long time BECAUSE they’re annoying.

On the other hand, sometimes  really "technical, lyrical" rappers can fit 20 rhymes in 2 bars and you have forgotten all 20 in 5 seconds later  – because you’re too busy trying to concentrate on his NEXT 2 bars.

 

Anyway, on with the show:

 

1 – Me never eat from the tree with the apple/

I’d rather have a Snapple.
I live in the sun/
But you shrivel up like a raiSUN.
Bobby Seale said, “Please make it rough, bro.”/
When god give the word, me herd like the buffalo.
 

– – ENEMY
For some reason ENEMY has most of the boner lines from the whole LETHAL INJECTION album!
Also he makes the drug, “Crack, uh…” rhyme with the ethnic group “cracker.”
And makes Mohammad rhyme with vomit. . . .
 

 
2 – Everywhere I go, I se several/
Brothers with she-deverils.
– CAVE BITCH
 
3 – (you act like ) Mr. Big/
But in reality, you’re shorter than a midge
          TRUE TO THE GAME
Seriously, Cube? Big and Midge???
 
           
4 – Yo turn him over with a spatula/
Now we got Kentucky Fried Cracker/
– WWRONG NIGGA TO FUCK WITH
 
5 – Just because you got a badge/
You think Ice Cube is gonna wave the white .. . .flad-ge.
– AINT NEVER GONNA GET IT
 
6 – Mr. Law had to hit me in the jaw/
Because I called them faggots/
With guns and badg-ets????
– WHO GOT THE CAMERA
 
It seems like anything involving the police is enough to make Ice Cube pull a rhyme boner.
 
7 – Get my gun and Put an end to the devil/
So get a fuckin’ shovel!
          HORNY LIL DEVIL
 
8 – He makes superhero rhyme with Ferrigno.
also
When I bring the noise/
From here to Illinois/
Motherfuckers love it when I do what it do-esss
– JACK IN THE BOX
 
It might be considered poor sportsmanship to pick on recent-era Cube, but fuck it.  This was such a "Wha? Huh?" moment.
 
 
9 – Ice Cube coming at you at a crazy pitch /
And the statue of liberty ain’t nothing but a lazy bitch/
She won’t spread her crack for the black/
And yet you’ll call it racial/
If we try to rape the hoe/
– – THE PREDATOR
 
This was a trifecta: a rhyme that didn’t work, hating on Whitey, plus making gang-rape a metaphor for liberation.  He just tripled his offense-productivity.
 
10 – we like to roam/
Through yo’ muthafuckin’ home/
 like a comb/
and find the money that’s gone/
– ASK ABOUT ME
This is like what? OK, you’re doing a home invasion, like in CAN’T TRUST ‘EM or  AMERIKKKA’S MOST WANTED. But. . . roam through your home like a comb? Not WITH a comb (fine-toothed or otherwise) but LIKE a comb? LIke how combs normally roam through homes, in packs or singly? Huh? And find the money that’s gone? What?  Did the brush already jack it?
 
 
BONUS: this one isn’t good or bad, it’s just baffling:
 
I’ll send your head to the taxidermist/
Won’t be satisfied until my head’s on a Thermos.
– PUSHING WEIGHT
 
 

What’s your favorite worst Ice Cube line? 

 

7 comments Tags: ,

7 Comments so far

  1. james November 4th, 2009 9:27 am

    haha…these are good…have you heard of the site “Snacks and Shit”? It’s got tons of rap lyric gems.

  2. admin November 4th, 2009 5:50 pm
  3. Brian November 5th, 2009 1:40 am

    He’s got this Gangsta Fairytale track, and though it’s a fun and clever song, the first line is:

    Little boys and girls, they all love me
    Come sit on the lap of I-C-E

    This is straight directed at a couple little kids.

  4. admin November 5th, 2009 7:12 am

    @brian: If you listen to the whole song, the kids are asking him for a story! “Do some shit about the kids, man! The fuckin’ kiiids!”, they cry. To refuse would be rude. And if there is one thing Ice Cube is NOT , it’s rude.

  5. François November 5th, 2009 8:42 pm

    Was this “Enemy” track produced by Muggs or what ?
    Sounds straight out of Cypress Hill for me (Insane in the brain especially comes to mind)

    I may miss some historical west coast rap (hi)story somewhere, but well, that’s the feeling I got.

  6. Xray November 13th, 2009 12:43 pm

    You shouldn’t be, so damn material
    And try to milk Ice Cube like cereal

    -I Ain’t Tha One
    -Straight Outta Compton

  7. Droid February 21st, 2015 4:54 pm

    Worst has to be when he fills us in on his bathroom activities in Steady Mobbin:

    First:

    “Grumbbin’ like a motherfucker
    Greasy-ass lips, now I gots to take a shit”

    Then:

    “Went to mom’s house and dropped a load in the bathroom
    Jumped back in my low rider
    Comin’ out feelin’ about ten pounds lighter”

    Excellent.

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