Tokyo Damage Report

Insane Clown Posse on Sarah Palin


I was suprised to learn that ICP had a new monthly column in The Economist magazine, even more so when I learned that they were political consultants with a wide range of views on policy matters.


Here’s an excerpt:


THE ECONOMIST:  So, gentlemen, what is your analysis of the Palin phenomenon?
SHAGGY:  She a drama queen.
VIOLENT J: Yeah, a drama, a uh,-
SHAGGY: Ain’t nothing new to her!
VIOLENT J: Yeah, you can go to any club in East Detroit and find 6 bitches just like that.
SHAGGY:  They drink too much, say the wrong shit to the wrong hoe, the second hoe is like “fuck yall”, and then the first hoe spend the entire rest of the night running around to everyone in the fuckin’ club, ruining eveyrone’s buzz, talking about “Did you hear what that bitch said to me? You need to kick her ass!”
VIOLENT J: Yeah! They do that every week,  Any normal bitch can go to the club, dance, get fucked up, make sweet love to a clown, go home, go to bed, no problem. It’s only THEM that always wind up in some shit, but  they have ab-so-fuckin’-lutely no idea that THEY are the problem.
SHAGGY:  Right! These bitches are a dime a dozen. The only thing they are good for is, you nod you head, pretend to listen to their bullshit, give ‘em a line of blow, get some head off ‘em, and then run away and let them bitch to someone else. That’s like the universal policy.
VIOLENT J: That’s 100% common knowledge in Detroit. That’s the beginning and end of how to interact with these species of hoes.
SHAGGY:  You don’t make ‘em vice-president. You don’t make ‘em governer. And you for damn sure don’t give them a million dollars to write no fuckin’ book that they can’t even fuckin’ read!
VIOLENT J: I’m not knocking her, though. The drama queen is a vital part of the ecosystem of the hood. And Palin is real hood.
SHAGGY:  No threats!
VIOLENT J: I’m just saying, why do all these Detroit drama queens get NOTHING and this one bitch gets everything?
SHAGGY:  Yeah, if they’re starting some sort of government welfare program for dramatical bitches, they got to include everyone. A sign-up sheet. Have a website. A booth. Do something!! KnowwhatI’msayin? If they gave all the Detroit welfare money to one bitch, you know, can you imagine? She would be DEAD, man!
VIOLENT J: Stabbed to the head like a million times! Check on fire from all the friction of hands tryin’ to grab it.
SHAGGY: The whole block on fire. Ain’t no way to run a damn welfare program!
VIOLENT J: You know what I think the problem is, Shaggy?
SHAGGY:  What?
VIOLENT J: Republicans don’t go to the hood enough. They don’t go to clubs. They don’t come to the hood enough. We should start like a tour, like a safari or something, bring ‘em in, show ‘em how common these tramps are.
SHAGGY:  Ha! They’d break their necks trying to figure out who to give a million bucks to next!

 THE ECONOMIST: Thank you and good day.

SHAGGY: New album drops February 20th, man!  "CLOWN$$$ HAVE FUCKIN’ FEELINGZ 2!"

VIOLENT J:  Peace!


4 comments Tags:

4 Comments so far

  1. Brian December 1st, 2009 8:37 pm

    I heard Sarah Paliln’s daughter is a Juggalo.

  2. kindall December 1st, 2009 11:46 pm

    duuuudddddeeeeee, they make Palin look like a fucking genuis. Where are they when I channel surf through the block of news channels.

  3. kindall December 1st, 2009 11:50 pm

    and is she the first or second type of hoe and are they saying she is too hood or not hood enough. what Is your thoughts Damageson.

  4. Candice December 3rd, 2009 2:28 pm

    This is right up there with Shane McGowan’s new gardening show. Only the gardening show’s real and not straight from the mind of our fearless leader Schultz.

Leave a reply