Tokyo Damage Report

2010 fall random photos / engrish

spotted in – where else – Shibuya:

Below, the order of bands in the lineup makes for unintentional poetry on a punk flyer:

Mustang Pai-pai Rapes Pimp!

Worst headline ever.

I should point out that pai-pai is breasts.

If you haven't envisioned that scenario, now you have.




We don't want to make seats because you guys shouldn't sit for free. Everyone needs to be either going to work or shopping to spend their money.

But we don't want you scum leaning on the walls because that's what juvenile delinquents do. Solution?


Fuck i love this country *pauses while everyone sings Kimi Ga Yo*

Speaking of traditions:

Below: BLUBERRY-ONLY vending machine (tachikawa)

Ah, Don Quixote, you scoundrel. Where would we be without your enigmatic yet oddly vehement Engrish?

The beauty leg trencker (goblin version).

Also the NEW sleeping beauty-leg spats (also goblin version).


The ominously-named FOOT PEEL PACK EASY AND SURPRISE. What happens when you peel it off? Wait and find out!

best part:

it's not foot peel.

it's FOOT PEE!

Below: possibly the most low-self-esteem product slogan ever:



It's funny because it's name what it looks like!










below,  the kokuminshinto (new peoples' party) delivers a speech in Shibuya.

The flag reads, "No voting rights for foreigners"


Well, duh, you say! No country on earth lets tourists vote in national elections. What a sensible lady!

But. The Japanese definition of "foreigner" is so broad it applies to people born here, whose parents were born here, and whose grandparents were brought here as slaves.

So basically "No voting rights for foreigners" means "no voting for descendants of slaves."

see also: zainichi

Lots of right-wing sucklords like to speechify here in Shibuya because it's a big tourist spot and hence they can insult lots of passing-by foreigners without the foreigners knowing.


below: if the name of the salon is phrased as a  command, don't count on getting the haircut you asked for!

You can almost picture the stylist shaking her fist as she mutters, "Mull itttt. . . !"


4 Comments so far

  1. François December 28th, 2010 6:08 am

    As always, lotsa lolz.
    The "goblin version" seems to be a direct translation of 小悪魔, the standard-setting magazine for wannabe whores (full name: Koakuma Ageha)
    It's probably not in purpose, but it feels actually pretty well adapted.
    "Goblin: an ugly or grotesque sprite that is usually mischievous and sometimes evil and malicious" (Webster)

  2. admin December 28th, 2010 7:58 am

    @framcois] yeah, see also Zappa’s “Gobblin’ Girl”. In english, a better translation would be a “Li’L Devil.”

  3. matthieu January 1st, 2011 2:05 pm

    The Kamikaze hair salon is in Shibuya and it's written with the kanji of ''hair'' (which is also ''Kami''), so it's already a word game. You should explain that if you want to be honest.

  4. Steve January 4th, 2011 8:56 am

    The "do not dig for fear of snapping underground wires" poster has to be my all-time favorite! I wonder if any gruff blue collar dudes are disheartened by the look of absolute terror on the telephone's face.
    Also WTF leaning bar? That sounds like a real dissertation topic- how pedestrians are slowly gaining freedom in an uptight society. I used to live in Hong Kong, and let me tell you that it was no picnic (well, unless you were a domestic worker: ), having been babied by Western park benches for most of my life.

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