Tokyo Damage Report

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Below , my new gun. I bought it for shooting roaches.

No, I'm serious, kid. It shoots roaches!

Actually I only WISH I could say I bought it on purpose. Actually I came home from vacation and it was just. ..  .like that.

Some little fella crawled into my squirt-gun and couldn't get out!

Below: a new beard trick that I call "The Fake Beard."

Not only does it tempt passers-by to try to rip it off my face, but also it allows THIS to happen:

Also, the photo below, taken in an airplane restroom, shows the effects of high-altitude and low atmosphere on the fragile beard environment:

Below, a birthday present I recieved.

It commemorates my ever-swelling beer-gut, which in recent years is pooting out of my abdomen like an enraged puffer fish.

Things to keep in mind:

The japanese name for puffer-fish is FUGU (河豚)

The literal translation of 河豚 is "river pig."

The fish has a beard.

Also : I finally broke down and bought a "nerd cabinet" for all my nerd-stuff.


On the top shelf alone is a fucking gold-mine.

From left to right:

the "harikari scorpion", stabbing itself with its own poison-tail

the "curing tone-deaf-ness" powder drink mix for those important karaoke nights

the "affair-stopping" powder drink mix that you can put in your husband's morning coffee,

a mini-bottle of ST. VITUS BRAND whiskey

a pro-wrestler in the form of a blender,

and a commemmorative coin given by Hirohito.

Most of this stuff above is just dumb, but check out Underpants Salariman copping a feel of Disembodied Boob Torso Lady.



Also, on the bottom shelf (above),  next to the plush turd in the corner, is a MOE  NAUTILIS. Wtf.  Only 100 yen at the porno-store year-end sale.

At the top shelf are the SEX GUNDAMS i made

Below them is the official 25th-anniversary GAUZE lighter, next to the hello kitty vibrator

Below them is a stuffed upside-down radish, some monsters from the bulk-bins at mandarake, and a ceramic ass, created to commemorate the abortive  mid '90s OUTLAWED ASS OF DENMARK  rock-opera.

We only recorded the first hour of opera before calling it quits to watch the OJ trial.

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5 Comments so far

  1. Tim Drage January 2nd, 2011 9:55 am

    Beautiful collection!

  2. Bread January 3rd, 2011 3:05 am

    I think the last time you posted your picture you looked like Stephen Colbert with pink hair. Time sure flies.

  3. Hugh Codding January 3rd, 2011 12:07 pm

    The GreenPoint Mortgage pirate rubber duck really adds to the mix. 

  4. william January 24th, 2011 6:56 am

    hey i have read your blog on and off for a while and think it's very funny, I am coming to Japan (tokyo) soon, if you would maybe like to go for a beer or something if you're not too busy

  5. Mammon悪 February 7th, 2011 7:44 am

         GREAT blog dude. 
    best one on Japan as far as I can see, and a lot of work has gone into it. 

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