Below , my new gun. I bought it for shooting roaches.
No, I'm serious, kid. It shoots roaches!
Actually I only WISH I could say I bought it on purpose. Actually I came home from vacation and it was just. .. .like that.
Some little fella crawled into my squirt-gun and couldn't get out!
Below: a new beard trick that I call "The Fake Beard."
Not only does it tempt passers-by to try to rip it off my face, but also it allows THIS to happen:
Also, the photo below, taken in an airplane restroom, shows the effects of high-altitude and low atmosphere on the fragile beard environment:
Below, a birthday present I recieved.
It commemorates my ever-swelling beer-gut, which in recent years is pooting out of my abdomen like an enraged puffer fish.
Things to keep in mind:
The japanese name for puffer-fish is FUGU (河豚）
The literal translation of 河豚 is "river pig."
The fish has a beard.
Also : I finally broke down and bought a "nerd cabinet" for all my nerd-stuff.
On the top shelf alone is a fucking gold-mine.
From left to right:
the "harikari scorpion", stabbing itself with its own poison-tail
the "curing tone-deaf-ness" powder drink mix for those important karaoke nights
the "affair-stopping" powder drink mix that you can put in your husband's morning coffee,
a mini-bottle of ST. VITUS BRAND whiskey
a pro-wrestler in the form of a blender,
and a commemmorative coin given by Hirohito.
Most of this stuff above is just dumb, but check out Underpants Salariman copping a feel of Disembodied Boob Torso Lady.
Also, on the bottom shelf (above), next to the plush turd in the corner, is a MOE NAUTILIS. Wtf. Only 100 yen at the porno-store year-end sale.
At the top shelf are the SEX GUNDAMS i made
Below them is the official 25th-anniversary GAUZE lighter, next to the hello kitty vibrator
Below them is a stuffed upside-down radish, some monsters from the bulk-bins at mandarake, and a ceramic ass, created to commemorate the abortive mid '90s OUTLAWED ASS OF DENMARK rock-opera.
We only recorded the first hour of opera before calling it quits to watch the OJ trial.5 comments Tags: beard, figures, schultz —