Tokyo Damage Report

reup : “hardcore” drag show.

HARDCORE at CLUB ACE Sep 17, 2004

This was a weird gay event because fully half the audience was straight girls, from artschool or wherever. Why? Partly because everyone here loves costumes, partly because of the historical influence of kabuki, partly because of a YAOI-ish ‘these guys get to love boys, like I do, but with an agency and freedom we as women are denied, therefore I fantasize about them’, and partly because art school girls WORLDWIDE are huge hags.

The performances were, I was told, somewhat weird even compared to regular dragqueen stuff. Rather than some guy singing Madonna and strutting around, you’d get some guy singing some old Japanese festival tune in a deliberately bad, andy-kaufman-esque way.

Or a guy dressed as a housewife wielding flyswatters and insect spray like martial arts implements.

Plus there was A LOT of jokes I couldn’t even begin to understand.

Apparently this is just a ‘tokyo thing’ : making every damn fetish event into a fucking talk-show. my pal from Okinawa said, ‘we don’t play that.’

After the drag show, the ‘tom of finrand’ leatherboy dj played a set of ‘girl rock’ from the early 60s, a genre I didn’t even know existed, and then he took sex questions from the audience for half an hour. my friend wouldn’t translate, except to say, ‘it’s about the asshole.’

Japanese people are funny when they say asshole because they put the accent on ‘hole.’

As-sa – HOU – ru.

Haha! Then one of the go-go dancers got up and showed the pearls he had surgically implanted in his penis. This guy was my age and just totally tan and covered in tattoos and naturally wearing sunglasses indoors.

Then we all bailed to the neighboring bar, ADVOCATES and got to see some more, er, ‘traditional’ drag shows: a BRITNEY medley sung by 4 queens who strutted to opposite corners of the room to sing their respective numbers . . .actually it was like a hip-hop cipher, they kept passing the mic. After that there was more dancing. There’s HELLA foreign gays on the street in 2-chome, but there was like NONE at the drag bars. Weird. Everyone was smiling too.

Then we went back to ACE and saw a movie about safe sex, and another drag show even weirder than the first, because now everyone was just DRUUUUUUUUNKKKK.

There was a Marylin Manson kind of gal who did a striptease WITH HER WIG, and some guy who was in drag as a straight b-boy. The b-boy was all watching tv and reading porn, but then a voice came out of the tv telling him to jack off, but whenever he got going, the channel switched to ‘popeye the sailor man’ and he got frustrated and then the voice engaged him in this lengthy Socratic debate for like 40 minutes and then suddenly he charged screaming at the audience, the end.

Sorry to give away the plot like that, I’m a spoiler that way.

But you know what was just as fun as the drag show? the drunks outside. See, unlike a straight bar, every guy who wants to get laid here, CAN. So if you see a homo outside the bar at 3 am, it’s only because that guy DELIBERATLEY prefers drinking to sex. And when all the gay bars are located within 4 feet of each other, at 4 am you will see a higher concentration of UTTERLY OBLITERATED MOTHERFUCKERS than you will ever see anywhere else. Just, ass-drunk shirtless dudes stumbling out of 7-11, their numb fingers unable to grasp their snacks.

Ok, you say, I saw that at this frat party, blah blah blah. No. this is some new and different shit. This is like queens unable to stand on 6 inch heels, tumbling into catatonic businessmen guys who are talking excitedly to the telephone pole.

 

—- EMCEE for the HARD-CORE dragshow at ACE. That's right, it's nina hagen!!

 

—- the back of the nest. Jesus Christ!!

 

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—- Butt-related sex q-and-a with dj eddie.

 

—- the guy second from left showed us the pearls sewn into his penis.

 

—- BRITNEY SPEARS NIGHT at ADVOCATES

 

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—- miss margarita

 

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—- the Gayest Sunkus In Japan

 

—- more EMCEES – we're back at ACE now.

 

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