Tokyo Damage Report

reup: “adult english” book.

originally posted Jan 30, 2005

that is the title of the book. Also, the subject.

from the pick – up (" How about that! From behind, your ass really looks great!")

. . . to the suave bedroom talk ("Lift up your butt. I can't get them off ")

. . . . to the tender expression of subtle feelings (" Ha ha, doing it this way pushes all the fat up to your belly. ")

. . . to the sexy invitation that ladies cannot resist (" Let's make the bed right away!")

. . . ADULT ENGLISH is the perfect guide for anyone who wants to get their ass kicked by an english-speaking person!

I could type the best bits, but somehow it is funnier ("So grim, so true, so real!" as metallica would say) if you can see the original pages.

 

 

—- ADULT ENGLISH. (subtitle: "porno smallbook speaking, let's go!")

 

—- part one: DAILY LIFE AMERICAN GONAD TALK.

 

—- men on women

 

—- men on men

 

—- women on men

 

—- ????

 

—- part 2: courtship

 

—-

 

—-

 

—- part 3: fooling around

 

—- Western women LOVE it when you compliment them. . .

 

—- . . .

 

—- . . . but, in this book, the women "compliment" guys just as much!

 

—- you will have to imagine the Power Point Presentation he is giving. Complete with laser pointer.

 

—-

 

—- PART 4; ENGLISH ORAL EXPRESSIONS

 

—- this is probably the only part of the book that is accurate.

 

—- dude, figure it out.

 

—- if any phrases in this book catch on in RL, I really hope "Let's make the bed right away" does. Can we all agree to try this next time?

 

—- PART 5 "YOU MEAN, COITUS?"

 

—-

 

—- Now we know what Smoove B. wrote, before he started writing for The Onion!!

 

—- train now leaving on Track Number Sex.

 

—- don't ask me. I have no idea.

 

—-

 

—- PART 6 ROMANTIC THINGS TO SAY AFTER SEX

 

—-

 

—-

 

—- PART 7:BREAKING UP

 

—-

 

—-

2 comments Tags:

2 Comments so far

  1. what May 25th, 2011 2:21 am

    Octopus pussy, purse-string pussy, reverse masher???wtf??? This book was written by a lunatic! (or someone on drugs) (or both)…

  2. Sarah May 27th, 2011 3:44 am

    I just can't understand what the Viet Cong have to do with it.

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