Tokyo Damage Report

funny Japanese surnames

 

I decided it was time for me to learn Japanese names. I used this helpful site:http://www.h2.dion.ne.jp/~inkan.z1/sei.htm , which lists the top 5000 most common Japanese family names. I'm studying the top 1,000 for now. . .but in the process found some really awesome family names. Keep in mind that the translations I'm giving are very literal and not the way that native Japanese would think of the names. (Like how Americans don't really realize that Schwarzennegar means 'black plowman') But it's still funny!

 

野尻 - Nojiri – WILD ASS

宮脇ーMiyawaki – PALACE ARMPIT

生駒 - Ikoma – LIVING SPINNING-TOP or LIVING PAWN (!!)

森脇 - Moriwaki – FOREST'S ARMPIT

高谷 – Takatani – TALL VALLEY

熊倉ーKumakura – BEAR WAREHOUSE

妹尾ー Imoo- LITTLE SISTER'S TAIL

麻生- Asou -MARIJUANA LIFE

毒島 - Busujima – LITERALLY POISON ISLAND, but they must have figured that was too rude, so they changed the pronunciation  of ' poison' from DOKU to BUSU, but BUSU means UGLY WOMAN, so frankly I don't see how that is an improvement.

粕谷 -Kasuya- SAKE VALLEY

香取 -Katori- TAKE THE SMELL

毛利- Mouri -CONVINIENT FUR

鶴見 -Tsurumi - LOOKS AT CHICKENS

亀井 - Kamei – TURTLE IN WELL

尾形 - Ogata -SHAPED LIKE A TAIL

横尾 - Yoko'o – BESIDE THE TAIL

長尾 - Nagao – LONG TAIL

目黒- Meguro – BLACK EYE

丹羽 – Tanba – MEDIOCRE FEATHERS

有馬 - Arima – EXISTING HORSE

宍戸 – Shishito – HOLE IN MY DOOR

酒井 – Sakai – WELL FULL OF SAKE

大沢 – Oozawa – BIG SWAMP

馬場ー Baba – Literally 'horse place' but it's pronounced like Grandma, so Japanese people find this one funny.

尾崎 - Ozaki – TAIL CLIFF

中尾 -Nakao – MIDDLE OF THE TAIL

三輪 – Miwa – THREE WHEELS

福沢ーFukuzawa – LUCKY SWAMP

熊沢 - Kumasawa – BEAR SWAMP

寺沢 -Terasawa – TEMPLE SWAMP

相沢 – Aizawa – SWAMP PARTNER

金沢 - Kanazawa – GOLD SWAMP

宮沢 - Miyazawa – PALACE SWAMP

吉沢 – Yoshisawa – LUCKY SWAMP

5 comments

5 Comments so far

  1. Francois June 14th, 2011 7:20 am

    Love your way to read those !
    One small correction: 宍戸 means "Meat door"
    Funny family names I've encountered are
    葛生(くずう) = Living arrowroot, but reads like garbage
    御手洗(みたらい) = Mitarai is the little fountain you wash your hands before going to the temple, but it reads お手洗い too, so that's toilet for you.
    Japanese people find those too funny too. But you probably don't find those in the most popular names.
    I personally like the ones with animals :
    牛木(うしき) = Tree cow
    蛯原(えびはら) = Field of shrimps
    鹿村(しかむら) = Village of deers
    青柳(あおやぎ) = Blue willow, but the unusual reading of 柳(やなぎ) makes it sound like "blue goat"
    And it goes on and on…

  2. admin June 14th, 2011 5:54 pm

    @francois: once again you amaze!

  3. Steve June 15th, 2011 1:00 pm

    Just the other week I saw 熊倉 written somewhere and had myself a good laugh.

    毒島 is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. It’s like, pretty much anyone with a minimal knowledge of Chinese characters (majority of E.Asia?) is going to be laughing their head off at that. Could this be the Japanese equivalent of “Weiner”?

  4. Johan July 4th, 2011 8:45 pm

    My peronal favorite among japanese names are:
    鼻毛 read はなげ means nose hair
    御手洗 read みてあらい exact same kanji as おてあらい which is toilet

  5. Zenichi September 24th, 2012 11:25 am

    Came back to this page to show a friend, and you forgot my all-time favorite. Swamp Ass. 沢尻.

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