So the reason I haven't been doing this site recently is, I was re-mastering all my old songs.
Hundreds of them.
It took years!
In some cases, I had to rip from cassette-tape masters.
In other cases, I had digital files in obsolete formats that had to be converted WITH TIME TRAVEL.
In still other cases, the digital files I'd previously archived DIDN'T FUCKING WORK because the archives THEMSELVES had been declared obsolete by the software manufacturer.
Years of frustrating effort and nonstop worrying that I'd lose/break/forget about some ancient and obscure CD-R/cassete/ HD before I had the chance to archive it properly.
And then I had to re-rip a dozen more cassete-masters where the Dolby switch or the tape-speed was wonky BUT I HAD LOST THE 4-TRACK.
Borrowed a 4-track.
It didn't have the AC converter.
Found a converter.
But the polarity was reversed.
Fixed the polarity with sottering gun.
Then the earthquakes came.
Then, just out of sheer bloody-mindedness, I decided to REDO from scratch about 30 ancient tunes where the music was great but the recording quality was, let's say, not quite up to snuff.
In all cases , I had to re-mix all 500-odd songs from scratch.
And what's worse, actually LISTEN TO THEM to make sure the levels were OK.
Which (the listening, if not the other efforts) lead to sudden and, in retrospect, quite predictable case of burn-out and months of drinking.
And so on.
But now it's FUCKING DONE. The fucking master plan is IN FULL EFFECT; 24 years of songs, all in the same place, same format, all ready to go.
So, on to the next step: I set up a bandcamp page. We'll see if that's better than using this site to distribute.
Anyway, the bandcamp header looks like this: it's a close-up of this .99-cent guitar that I recorded all the original tunes on. The cheapest piece of shit that wound up playing the most ambitious tunes of my life. Just sheer hubris. Nobody told me that it was impossible to do that!!!
Of course, There's still plenty of music available for free here on ths site, as well.
Anyway, if you are into funny / satirical / proggy music please visit the Schultzzz bandcamp page, and / or tell your friends. Yes there are songs about Rhombuses, dung-beetles, mall cops, love songs to the toothless, Flamenco-death-metal instrumentals, and of course raps about Gertrude Stein vs. Oprah.
The music is free to play and download, but Bandcamp makes their money by taking a cut of sales, so to encourage people to buy, they put a cap on the number of free downloads per month. Which is reasonable.
For now, I just have 3 or so albums up there. But just for the record, here is my whole fuckin' curriculum;
Unless otherwise noted in bold type, all albums are one-man-band style.
1 the E-Z-Boy history of Man LP (87~89)
2 trump v. boredom! LP (89)
3 Phil Collins naked – a real letdown DEMO (89)
4 Bombastic flamingo invasion! EP
5 all this hype about shit! LP (90)
6 what the spoken word Jazz?!? EP
7 P.E.T.E.R. (Purgatory embraces these esoteric remnants) tunes 7”
8 let us now praise anus men LP(90)
9 Botched brunch EP
10 apes will tear us apart LP(90)
11 Haranguein’ Da Joint LP(90)
12 The Faculty – demo one and demo 2
14 major stereotypes EP
15 pheeding phrenzy of the madd phat LP(90)
16 I support violence against pubic hair LP (91)
17 Readers digested EP
18 deff speedo jam 1999 LP(91)
19 Snout – demo
20 a fine bag of meat LP(92)
21 Penis smut veneer 7”
22 Women who love men who hate women EP
23 Tv songs EP
24 rhubarb scumster LP (92)
25 “what is ape compression ?” (a 30 second covers EP)
26 bowel goblin infestations of the late Rennisance LP (92)
27 Loop Funk Erm 7”
28 noisejazz EP (AKA boppin’ the hamper with “entrenched” vincenzo applebottom)
29 nipplez del spellcheck LP (93)
30 karaoke metal attempts EP
31 Mr. Pangolin’s fungal adventure LP (93~94)
32 Adjective noun demos: dead victims of a no-good society . . .of death!!! And : b@nk of @merica
33 grunting in obscurity LP (94)
34 A brief history of vats vol.1 ROCK OPERA
35 Finger Lickin' Grout – Outlawed Ass Of Denmark, parts I~III ROCK OPERA
36 dad-blasted rotifers LP (95)
37 Freakery beats EP
38 Suddenly last sphincter LP(95)
39 Finger lickin’ grout - demo
40 Belinda Carlisle and the enchanted stick insect ROCK OPERA
41 Phil Collins Naked – Figs: a three-day rock opera EP BUT ALSO OPERA
42 23 grind EP (AKA grindin’ the night away with “lungless” p.d. gramaphone and Twaddle Unit)
43 Buckminister Fuller Suite EP
44 choice selections from the autobiography of Wilt Chamberlain
45 bruise fondle LP(96~97)
46 4-track proggg attack EP
47 Epic jams EP
48 loopy larnyx castaways 7”
49 The martyrdom of st. chuckles EP
50 Lieberman’s preposterous rock opera ROCK OPERA
51 Fish supply failing - demo
52 Grafted emu stampede DOUBLE- LP
53 the "long-awaited noise album" LP
54 excuse me while I outrank your baboon piss! LP(98)
55 18-98 (eighteen from ninety-eight) LP (98)
59 Fish supply failing – blottalgore LP (99)
60 Busuchan – defrag my heart LP (2000)
61 Stalin claus Superstar 4 DISC ROCK OPERA WTF (2000)
62 forgot to get a rap name LP (2001)
63 Finky Bink$ - Charlie bucket; cosmonaut LP (2001)
64 Puny humans - no one will ever understand our genious (sic) LP (2002)
65 Amino assholes- collected works vol. 1 LP (2002)
66 Ookubo sutajio fukubukuro LP (2004)
67 Criminally insane project LP (2004)
68 Panda fucker maniac revolution - demo (2004)
69 Bouninjoutai – Tokyo aizo LP (2005)