Tokyo Damage Report

secret plans revealed!



So the reason I haven't been doing this site recently is, I was re-mastering all my old songs.

Hundreds of them.

It took years!

In some cases, I had to rip from cassette-tape masters.

In other cases, I had digital files in obsolete formats that had to be converted WITH TIME TRAVEL.

In still other cases, the digital files I'd previously archived DIDN'T FUCKING WORK because the archives THEMSELVES had been declared obsolete by the software manufacturer.

Years of  frustrating effort and nonstop worrying that I'd lose/break/forget about some ancient and obscure CD-R/cassete/ HD before I had the chance to archive it properly.

And then I had to re-rip a dozen more cassete-masters where the Dolby switch or the tape-speed was wonky BUT I HAD LOST THE 4-TRACK.

Borrowed a 4-track.

It didn't have the AC converter.

Found a converter.

But the polarity was reversed.

Fixed the polarity with sottering gun.

Then the earthquakes came.

Then, just out of sheer bloody-mindedness, I decided to REDO from scratch about 30 ancient tunes where the music was great but the recording quality was, let's say, not quite up to snuff.

In all cases , I had to re-mix all 500-odd songs from scratch.

And what's worse, actually LISTEN TO THEM  to make sure the levels were OK.


Which (the listening, if not the other efforts) lead to sudden and, in retrospect, quite predictable case of burn-out and months of  drinking.

And so on. 


But now it's FUCKING DONE.    The fucking master plan is IN FULL EFFECT; 24 years of songs, all in the same place, same format, all ready to go.


So, on to the next step: I set up a bandcamp page. We'll see if that's better than using this site to distribute.

Anyway, the bandcamp header looks like this: it's a close-up of this .99-cent guitar that I recorded all the original tunes on. The cheapest piece of shit that wound up playing the most ambitious tunes of my life. Just sheer hubris. Nobody told me that it was impossible to do that!!!



 Of course, There's still plenty of music available for free here on ths site, as well.


Anyway, if you are into funny / satirical / proggy music please visit the Schultzzz bandcamp page, and / or tell your friends.  Yes there are songs about Rhombuses, dung-beetles,  mall cops,  love songs to the toothless,  Flamenco-death-metal instrumentals, and of course raps about Gertrude Stein vs. Oprah.


The music is free to play and download, but Bandcamp makes their money by taking a cut of sales, so to encourage people to buy, they put a cap on the number of free downloads per month. Which is reasonable.


For now, I just have 3 or so albums up there. But just for the record, here is my whole fuckin'  curriculum;

Unless otherwise noted in bold type, all albums are one-man-band style.

1             the E-Z-Boy history of Man LP (87~89)
2            trump v. boredom!  LP (89)
3     Phil Collins naked – a real letdown DEMO (89)
4            Bombastic flamingo invasion! EP
5            all this hype about shit!  LP (90)
6            what the spoken word Jazz?!? EP
7            P.E.T.E.R. (Purgatory embraces these esoteric remnants) tunes 7” 
8            let us now praise anus men  LP(90)
9            Botched brunch EP
10          apes will tear us apart   LP(90)
11          Haranguein’ Da Joint   LP(90)
12   The Faculty  – demo one  and demo 2
14          major stereotypes EP
15          pheeding phrenzy of the madd phat   LP(90)
16           I support violence against pubic hair  LP (91)
17          Readers digested EP
18          deff speedo jam 1999   LP(91)
19   Snout  – demo
20          a fine bag of meat   LP(92)
21          Penis smut veneer 7”
22          Women who love men who hate women EP
23          Tv songs EP
24          rhubarb scumster  LP (92)
25          “what is ape compression ?” (a 30 second covers EP)
26          bowel goblin infestations of the late Rennisance  LP (92)
27          Loop Funk Erm 7”
28          noisejazz EP (AKA boppin’ the hamper with “entrenched” vincenzo applebottom)
29          nipplez del spellcheck  LP (93)
30          karaoke metal attempts EP
31          Mr. Pangolin’s fungal adventure  LP (93~94)
32   Adjective noun demos: dead victims of a no-good society . . .of death!!!  And : b@nk of @merica
33          grunting in obscurity  LP (94)
34          A brief history of vats vol.1   ROCK OPERA
35    Finger Lickin' Grout – Outlawed Ass Of Denmark, parts I~III ROCK OPERA
36          dad-blasted rotifers  LP (95)
37          Freakery beats EP
38           Suddenly last sphincter   LP(95)
39    Finger lickin’ grout –  demo
40           Belinda Carlisle and the enchanted stick insect ROCK OPERA
41   Phil Collins Naked – Figs: a three-day rock opera EP BUT ALSO OPERA         
42          23 grind EP (AKA grindin’ the night away with “lungless” p.d. gramaphone and Twaddle Unit)
43          Buckminister Fuller Suite EP
44          choice selections from the autobiography of Wilt Chamberlain
45         bruise fondle   LP(96~97)
46          4-track proggg attack EP
47          Epic jams EP
48          loopy larnyx castaways 7”
49          The martyrdom of st. chuckles EP
50          Lieberman’s preposterous rock opera ROCK OPERA
51  Fish supply failing –  demo
52          Grafted emu stampede DOUBLE- LP
53          the "long-awaited noise album"  LP
54          excuse me while I outrank your baboon piss!   LP(98)
55          18-98 (eighteen from ninety-eight) LP (98)
59    Fish supply failing – blottalgore LP (99)
60    Busuchan – defrag my heart LP (2000)
61           Stalin claus Superstar 4 DISC ROCK OPERA WTF (2000)
62           forgot to get a rap name LP (2001)
63   Finky Bink$ – Charlie bucket; cosmonaut LP (2001)
64   Puny humans – no one will ever understand our genious (sic) LP (2002)
65   Amino assholes- collected works vol. 1 LP (2002)
66            Ookubo sutajio fukubukuro LP (2004)
67            Criminally insane project LP (2004)
68   Panda fucker  maniac revolution –  demo (2004)
69   Bouninjoutai – Tokyo aizo LP (2005)

3 Comments so far

  1. sephim December 15th, 2012 6:30 am

    I knew you had a back catalogue, but god fucking DAMN…

  2. Max December 18th, 2012 2:20 am

    Reading this list of album names is already more entertaining than any music I’ve heard from mainstream radio in a LONG time. I also enjoyed the super long old school rap from a couple of weeks ago. I lost my copy of “Society for the Prevention of Humanity” a long time ago, and I do not see it on the list…

  3. admin December 18th, 2012 3:01 pm

    @sephim; Guess I should have been clearer . . . none of these “seven inches” or “EPs” ever got released. The songs are real, though.
    @max; thanks! society for the prevention of humanity is last on the list, but I used the Japanese title (bouninjoutai). You can still DL the whole thing by clicking on the “my music” link at the top of the page.

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