Tokyo Damage Report

sochi aint shit

 

 

I’m going to Sochi,  to give Putin a trophy

The crowd is all saluting  for the way that he blows me

Homie sucks like a Flowbee , calluses is on both knees

He’s grody he’s lonely , wants to show me his goatse

Judges gave him a 9 –    The deepest throat of the winter

But deducted one point, because my man is a spitter

“Don’t cum in my pot (russian for mouth)” is what he always said

So I gave him an “instant Gorbachyev”

She was Head of state but still couldn’t get a date

Then she had the bright idea to repress the gays

All the competition was locked in a cell

Now Miss Vladimir has all the cock to herself

 

SOCHI  AINT SHIT

VLAD GET THE DICK

(we don’t love them tricks!)

SOCHI AINT SHIT

VLAD GET THE DICK

(talking about my penis!)

 

she wants to see What is lurkin’   all up under my merkin

Don’ t got a pussy riot but I got a    boner disturbance

I unholster the serpent ,she grab a hold and start jerkin

Putin’s moaning and flirtin -bitch bend over and start twerkin

I put a whole lot of work i, now I’m hosin I’m squirtin

I’m wreckin that rectum;  reckon it’s over its curtains

Now will you go put a shirt on? Better go see a surgeon

’cause that aperture  looks like it’s  totally hurtin

Putin said “Nyet,” Drank the load and kept slurping

I was nuttin and bussin   so hard she got a concussion

she drank it all up,  just like a White Russian

 

Olympics is nothing, but graft and corruption

50 billion in taxes For roads that don’t function

Hotel over the budget, but still under construction

where’d the money go, I don’t know, Go ask Snowden or something!

The commode isn’t flushing, the ceremony disgusting:

Just a unicycle bear eating moldy old Funnyuns

Meanwhile people so bumming , they’re selling manhole for cash

That’s not a gay joke, They sell the covers for scrap

Just to feed all their children,  cause their taxes was tapped

By the evilest villains ,they’re stealing them billions

And they’re building new prisons For the gays and the Chechens

For athletes that is protesting Journalists who ask questions

Want to do to them What you did to Circassians!

Distractin’  attention onto stranger s and  scapegoats so

embracin the church and blame it all on the rainbow

Now gay bashin is in fashion with  the national pride

While you’re robbing them blind and slashing their rights

Cameras in the pipes, there’s spies in the showers

Surveiling the boners, just in case one is homo

 

SOCHI AINT SHIT

VLAD GET THE DICK

 

you’re an anti-gay bigot , just      because you aint felt my dick yet.

Cold getting indignant, because your manhood is a figment

You got a scandalous pickle, far from a hammer and sickle

Hung like the smallest matroshka          With one damaged testicle.

Put away and belay that shit,  it’s absurd and and irrational

I’m gay and persuasive,   like the third international

Homos  you were hating now you’re connecting my dong to lips

Get busy like Tatlin,  and  start erecting my monument.

I was pumping like Gazprom  I’m hung like a mastodon           .

With a latex bra  and some colorful Pampers on

He played my dick and balls like  a triathalon

I gave him a medal for choad guzzling brain work

He got the silver I got the  gold cause I came first.

Then snuck with his blue bucket his ducats and his vodka

Dosvidanya, don’t say I didn’t warn ya

There’s a chance of  crabs or perhaps a rash on your pee-pee

just spray it with Febreeze, thanks for the meat sleeve.

By the way I’m havin’ this  Yacov Smirnov CD.

 

SOCHI AINT  SHIT

VLAD GET THE DICK

 

Something he said to me one day, something he said to me . .. !

“I practice butthole surfing every day, I’ma win it!”

“But Vladimir, that’s not even in the Olympics!”

Man fuck them old limp-dicks, The sponsors is pimping

The athletes is whoring while   The contractor’s grifting

Meanwhile the IOC, profits from the bribery

Just for saying that, the FSB uhhhh they opened a file on me

Plus they got Rule 50, shut you up in a jiffy

You can get black-listed if you raise a black fist up

Plus your medals get ripped up, politics is forbidden

That’s why nobody’s cheering when their country is winning.

The whole façade is Potemkin               Just a cog in the system

So ignore the gay-bashing                      Just say your sponsor’s terrific

But if you try to address it                         You might  get arrested

Free speech is for hooligans                   And gays all molest kids

 

 

SOCHI AINT SHIT

VLAD GET THE DICK

 

Pass the Johnson quit hoggin it , Face first like tobogganist

She suck like an octopus    ,on the root like a botanist

every body in Moscow is , stretching   out  that esophagous

speed this line up,    it’s getting monotonous

hosing disposing and deep  throating a lotta jizz

two gallons o cum !  just like 2001,

you want that big black monolith, right where your tonsils is

the breakfast of champions       word to Kurt Vonnegut

keep it Kandinsky, yo you’re keeping it Communist

you want that Red Wedge          all up  in your naughty bits

 

so deep that it hurts you Deeper still it converts you

Now you’re trickin in red square             In a wig and a girdle

Vladimir had a rear  that was queer and so versatile

It was reversible,           more tricks than a circus do

he knows I’m an ass-man, so he’s wearing those chap-pants,

in the club for a lap-dance, get   more butts than an ash-can

Caught on the dash-cam giving head in a Lada

Called it Vlad TV, now it’s a headline on Pravda

And it ain’t kompromat, it’s more of a compliment

5 kopeks a load: She’s  the Moscow Laundromat,

Pay me the rubles,  and you can pound that ass Round town her

name is The Louge                because she go down so fast

And it aint cool runnings           More like Dudes Cumming

Cus when Putin’s in effect yo you can wreck it for nothing

 

SOCHI AINT SHIT

VLAD GET THE DICK

4 comments

4 Comments so far

  1. Timmy February 10th, 2014 12:52 am

    it’s as if MCD, Jello, exile.ru, and Dan the Automator had a baby… いいね!

  2. Timmy February 10th, 2014 12:53 am

    err, I meant *MDC

  3. Max February 10th, 2014 3:10 am

    Good stuff!

  4. MyDogPopper February 11th, 2014 4:49 pm

    i remember when you drove a B 210
    no, it was a volvo something

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