Tokyo Damage Report

signifying rabbi AKA schooly D solves the Middle East crisis

Way, way down, in the ghetto deep
The badass pimp stepped on the signifying rapper’s feet
And the rapper said, Nigga can’t you see
You’re standin on my motherfucking feet?
The badass pimp said, Sure I ain’t heard a cocksucking word you said
You say some more, I’ll be standin on your motherfucking head
Yeah that’s what he said
Cause every day, when the sun go down
The badass pimp come and kick that rappers ass all over ghetto town
But the rapper got wise, started using his wit
And said man, I’m gettin tired of this kick-ass shit
So early, early early the very next day
The rapper said, mister pimp, mister pimp I got something to say
There’s this mean, big bad faggot comin your way
He talk about you so bad, turn my hair gray
Listen, listen to what he say
Listen to this mister badass pimp
This what the faggot said
He said, you know your daddy and he’s a faggot
And your mother’s a whore
He said he seen you sellin asshole door to door
Yeah that’s what he said, listen to what else he said mister badass pimp
He said, your granny, she’s a dyke
And your other brother, he’s a faggot
And your little sister Loo
She’s so low she sucked the dick of a little maggot
Yeah that’s what he said
The badass pimp was mad
Jumped up in a hell of a rage
Hopped in his Caddy and loaded his 12 guage
Caught up with the faggot on 55th and Vine
Said you faggot, it’s gonna be your ass or mine
The faggot looked at the pimp, and saw fear in his eyes
Said motherfucker, you better go fuck with somebody your own damn size
The pimp made his move, and thought he was fast
The faggot side-stepped him and kicked him in his ass
They fought all that night, and all the next day
That faggot kicked that pimp’s ass in a hell of a way
Me myself I don’t know how he survived
Came back to the projects more dead than alive
And the rapper, standin up on one of those tall ass project buildings
He said, DAMN somethin smells
He said, mister badass pimp look live you’ve been through hell
As I told one of my hoes before you left
I should’ve kicked your ass my motherfucking self

 

 

 

Anti-war bloggers and human-rights activists are going about this anti-Gaza-massacre-protest thing all wrong.

Israeli politicians seem to enjoy all the human rights complaints. For years they’ve been telling the citizens this narrative:  “The whole world hates Jews for NO REASON, and we are the only ones protecting you from the world. You need us!” The more tsk-tsking Israel gets, the more power local elites get.

 

TL;DR:  they drink your sweet sweet tears, liberals!

 

So if you can’t shame them into digging the groovey human rights of Palestinians, and you damn sure can’t over-power their military with your retweets, what is left? The obvious solution is to turn the various powerful factions (political parties, football clubs, religious kooks, army/secret-police goons, and settlers) against each other.  After all, these factions  have been growing more and more powerful for a decade now, while regular Jewish Israelis are more and more scared to even speak their minds for fear of being labeled a “terrorist sympathizer” and stomped by a mob. As public debate and democracy go downhill, the various ambitious leaders must ALREADY be wondering “Hey, we already took over the country thiiiis much *streteches arms* without even trying, imagine how much MORE powerful we could be if we stopped sharing the power with all these other rightist factions . ..  who aren’t Real Jews like us because (insert reason).”

 

All the leftists need to do is give the rightist ego a little shove.  It’s exactly as foretold by, of all people, SCHOOLY MOTHERFUCKING D, in his song Signifying Rapper. In addition to having basically the most cuss words of any song not on Rap-A-Lot records, AND in addition to having the most crushing Led Zeppelin beat since Rhyming and Stealing, updating African folklore (google Signifying Monkey) into the Philadelphia projects . . . ., this song also can solve the mid-east peace crisis.

 

 

Put another way, it’s exactly BECAUSE the rightists have such a lock on all the levers of power. . . the left can make the right do what it itself cannot.

 

 

The divisions between rightists are already there.  Settlers are united in their hatred of Palestinians, and love of sweet sweet government subsidies, but divided into two groups:  super secular army-vet guys, and super duper religious. What if someone were to spread the word to the super religious settlers that, starting next year, the government was going to take all the subsidies away from them and give extra subsidies to the secularists? And, like, vice versa?

 

 

These settlers have been honing their techniques of intimidation harassment and small-town terrorism for decades on their Palestinian neighbors . . . but have no experience in TAKING it, because they’re protected by the IDF.  imagine if they brought all of that grudge-wielding hatred to bear on each other??

 

And what would the IDF even do to stop it, without appearing to take sides and thus turning mere rumors into reality?

 

Another example: allegedly the ringleader of the kindnapping-torture-murder of Mohammed Abu Khdeir is a member of both an extreme religious group AND Israel’s most racist football firm.

 

That’s a civil war just waiting to happen: football hooligans love casual dress, partying, pumping iron, and banging sluts at terrible electro discos. the Haredim (AKA Ultra-Orthodox) hate all of those things. A classic jocks-vs.-nerds fight waiting to happen. How hard could it be to tell the Haredi group, “The ringleader said you’re some nerrrrrds!” and then tell the football firm “The ringleader said that you’re all going to go to hell for being shitty Jews, and you’ll be there right next to the Arabs.”

 

Other rifts in the power structure waiting to be exploited:

 

Ashkenazi (European jewish majority, AKA the rich, establishment Israelis)  vs Mizrahi (Arabic Jews AKA new working-class immigrants hoping to earn respectability by being the most violent anti-Palestinian rioters/lynchers but who not so secretly hate the arrogant and condescending Ashkenazi).

 

 

Rifts INSIDE IDF:  tell the Mizrahi that all the promotions are going to the Russians who clearly don’t deserve them, and vice-versa. Watch morale and discipline crumble.

 

Variation on the ethnic theme: Allegations that an off-duty Russian Israeli IDF captain was spotted at a hotel with the wife of a Mizrahi Lieutenant who was risking his life on the front lines of Gaza: classic J. Edgar Hoover shit.

 

Similarly, Shin Bet (I guess, the equivalent of the FBI) vs. Mossad (=CIA). Not sure what existing resentments those guys have to exploit. Maybe someone can tell me?

 

Racist football gangs vs. other racist football gangs.  I mean, they’re SUPPOSED to beat each other up, that was the whole point of hooliganism! Just wait until the most racist team plays the second most racist team. . . . How hard could it be to get a bent ref in there to hand one team a completely unfair victory in the last 3 minutes of the match?  Jesus, that’s a no-brainer.  200 skinheads in the hospital, 200 more in jail, zero Palestinians lynched.

 

OH! Here’s a last one, and maybe the most fun: the Haredim vs. everyone! They don’t have to work (religious-study welfare), they don’t have to serve in the army (which is expected to die defending them when they provoke Palestinians), and best of all: many of them ARE NOT ZIONISTS.  Any goyim who ever had to read The Chosen in high school, knows what I’m talking about:  there’s some passage in the Torah which supposedly says “Israel can’t be officially re-established until AFTER the Messiah comes back.”, so these hard-core literalists feel like the Israeli state is blasphemous, which puts them somewhere BEYOND Fatah (the Palestianian sorta-government in the West Bank).

 

The question is not, “how do we provoke a civil war between haredim and everyone else?” but more like, “How has this not ALREADY become a civil war?!??”

 

There’s a million and one hilarious ways this could go, but the first scenario that comes to mind:  “Hey, Haredim!  The Gummint is so proud of the (secular, non-european) Mizrahi for oppressing the Palestinians, they’re going to take all your yeshiva money and subsidies and give it to Mizrahi on welfare! Starting next year!”

 

The icing on the cake: think of the hasbara! (no, it’s not a ‘70s cartoon company, it’s a Hebrew neologism for “propaganda”, spread not just by the government but by “independent” newspapers, American pundits, and legions of part-time social media worker-bees).  The hasbara people are among the world’s best trained, best equipped, masters of verbal warfare, misdirection, evasion, sophistry, cunning and trolling.   But the whole hasbara system, with its many components (paid government workers, Joe-schmoe internet trolls, pundits, “journalists”, and “community organizations” like the JADL . . .each of which has different vested interests) depends on them having a common cause, a common opponent, to keep them from sniping at each other.

 

So once Israeli rightist elite factions start fighting EACH OTHER, the hasbara system will also be directed inwards, magnifying divisions, spreading rumors, using all their techniques which they’ve been perfecting on arabs and left-center Jews, and helping tear the whole system apart without any further effort.  It’ll be a Godwin’s Law orgy.

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  1. […] Means, means down, within the ghetto deep The badass pimp stepped on the signifying rapper’s ft And the rapper stated, Nigga can’t you see You’re standin on my motherfucking ft? The badass pimp stated, Positive I ain’t heard a cocksucking phrase you stated You say some extra, I’ll be standin in your motherfucking head Yeah […] Tokyo Damage Report […]

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