Tokyo Damage Report

sayonara sale!

In the past month, i’ve spotted not one but BOTH of the things I’d been waiting a decade to see:


1) a RUN-DMC parody t-shirt. . . . that ACTUALLY SAID RUN-DMC.

2)  an African woman with an Asian boyfriend.


As a result, I feel that my Japan experience is complete and I’m going to fuck off back to California at the end of this month.

I have no idea if anyone reads this anymore, but I’m giving away a bunch of free shit if you come to my house and haul it off.


I’m talking about:  a ton of English novels, furniture, bicycles, blender, gas table, refrigerator, crappy stereo speakers, hundreds of rad and tasteful CDs, a vacuum, full-length mirror, AND a  damn Roland Juno keyboard!

If you want that stuff you’ll have to get your ass out to Musashi Koganei (on the chuo line) BEFORE THE 28TH.

It’s all free though.


if you want it , email me in the comments.

As for what’s going to become of this site, I have no idea. Obviously I’ll keep TDR up although  I won’t update it anymore.

From now, I want to start a new website devoted to satire.  political satire, music, random drunken rants, ideas for books I’d like to read but would never take the time to write,  ideas for fashion trends, etc.


I guess what I’m asking is, do you think I should do my next site also with wordpress?


Or should I use a different blog thing?


I’ll tell you right now, no facebook or fucking twitter. fuck that shit.

OK, thanks for reading, and if you know anyone in Tokyo that wants a free CD or keyboard or mirror etc. let them know.




41 Comments so far

  1. snooze September 10th, 2014 5:16 pm

    Yeah use wordpress for your next blog. Got any ideas about the name of the new site?

  2. Brian September 10th, 2014 6:52 pm

    Dude! I’ll give you a call and take a bicycle and that keyboard.

  3. Alex September 10th, 2014 8:13 pm

    Hey, you should try out jekyll or octopress next time. But whatever is okay, fuck twitter and stuff though.

    Re free shit: any study material? Books, easy to read novels/manga. Anything of use really.

  4. cube September 10th, 2014 9:12 pm

    RIP TDR. It was rad.

  5. ortho September 10th, 2014 10:54 pm

    Thanks for your (ludicrous number of years) of Tokyo stuff. Have always enjoyed it. Good luck in California!

  6. Max September 10th, 2014 11:39 pm

    Good luck on the move, though I’m sorry to see TDR closing.

    I use WordPress too. I don’t know if there are better blog services out there, but I don’t even know what that would be, honestly. I guess I don’t like paying the domain mapping fee, is my only complaint.

    Thanks for creating TDR and updating it for so long. It’s been one of my favorite sites for years now, even if your output slowed down dramatically. I started reading right around after you went to those shows in Korea. I found your blog because a different blogger had seen you at one of those shows and did some trash talking (I think about a hand puppet or something) and linked you. I thought TDR was tons more interesting and have been reading ever since.

    Maybe someday I’ll get to visit, and if I do I’ll definitely try to find time to visit some of the places in the Guide.


  7. Tzench September 13th, 2014 7:11 am

    TDR will be greatly missed. Thanks alot! I’m greatly looking forward to the new site.

    Is this site built on wordpress? I thought it was some homemade HTML from 1996.

  8. Sarah September 14th, 2014 3:50 am

    Thank you so much for all the time you put into this blog. It’s been a great read and I still go back over my favourite entries from time to time (my God, the Design Festa performance with the bunny costume that came to pieces…) I wish you a safe trip back to the States.

  9. 古山田咲郎 September 14th, 2014 11:05 am

    Nooo! Schultz! Stop it! Don’t do what you’ll eventually regret. How can a sane human being leave Japan?

    (I’d admit hat sane human beings should get out of Tokyo though).

    As for your new blog, has TDR not been exactly “website devoted to satire. political satire, music, random drunken rants, ideas for books you’d like to read but would never take the time to write, ideas for fashion trends, etc.”? Why not continue?

    I actually had been checking back once in a while all those months, unfortunately not much too read or comment here. But be assuered there’s still people out there interested in your stuff!

  10. Ivy September 15th, 2014 1:19 pm

    use wordpress
    i love tdr thanks for cracking me up for years
    please direct to your new site when its up!

  11. langong September 18th, 2014 11:11 am

    Why not keep this same blog with TDR crossed-out and follow by IN SATIRE STYLEs or something like that, so you don’t have to spend time switching shits.
    Was you kicked out by the Jap authoritates again?
    I hope I’ll find out whatever new shits you’ll be throwing on the web now and again
    Anyway goodluck with whatever endeavours ahead.

  12. Neil September 20th, 2014 5:38 pm

    Meester Schulz,

    Thank you for keeping me sane in Tokio. We arrived about the same time and your ‘how to find an address in Jp’ was invaluable. Been reading ever since and am truly impressed by what occurs between your ears.

    Keep spreading that venom!

  13. Tiff September 22nd, 2014 4:25 am

    Holy shit no, I’ve legit been reading this blog since I was in high school which was shamefully about 8 years ago… which is about a third of my life?!

  14. rezzz September 22nd, 2014 10:15 am

    TDR was awesome and unique, been reading it for yeeeeaaars. A shame to see it go.

    Educational too. Kanji damage is incredible and useful.

  15. ruben September 23rd, 2014 6:04 am

    i very recently discovered your kanji-damage website, and found it incredibly useful and generally awesome. now, i have to admit i didn’t even know this blog existed before today, but i must ask, would kanji-damage still be up and running in the foreseeable future? i’m not nearly done going through it, and would be very sad to see it and all it’s contents deleted from the internet… the very reason i’m on this blog today in fact is because it seems that stoped loading properly and only shows the plain text…

  16. matt September 23rd, 2014 11:28 am

    I came here to check as well, I’ve been using Kanjidamage religiously since February and still use it everyday. Before I found Kanjidamage I was honestly too intimidated by all the kanjilearning resources available throughout the internet but the kanjifacts section and the way kanjidamage is laid out helped me get started and has been one of my most used Japanese study resources. I certainly hope it remains available it’s an amazing resource and thank you for creating it!


    i very recently discovered your kanji-damage website, and found it incredibly useful and generally awesome. now, i have to admit i didn’t even know this blog existed before today, but i must ask, would kanji-damage still be up and running in the foreseeable future? i’m not nearly done going through it, and would be very sad to see it and all it’s contents deleted from the internet… the very reason i’m on this blog today in fact is because it seems that stoped loading properly and only shows the plain text…”

  17. Mata September 23rd, 2014 11:19 pm

    Good luck on the move!

    Hope you keep Kanjidamage operating, though. It’s really great for studying kanji but something broke in the design a couple days back and now the site is all messed up (I suspect the image hoster for the site went ahead and died or something).

    Something to look at if you intend to keep it alive.

    I’m using it every day to study kanji and I like the online version better than the offline one.

  18. Arturo September 24th, 2014 12:25 am

    Hi, I’m actually a kanjidamage student and love it! And like matt above this said, I came here to check what’s up with the site (the css file seems to be missing).

    If you still have a bicycle I’ll be very happy to take that burden from you, haha, just let me know when and where!

    But seriously please, please keep kanjidamge running!

  19. admin September 24th, 2014 4:18 am

    @artuo, mata, matt: Yes, Kanji Damage IS broke! I have emailed Henri the programmer and hopefully I will hear back from him soon. It’s probably something trivial, like they did an update of the code and it fucked up something in the formatting.

    @everyone who left good wishes: thanks for reading, and I’ll be back probably in a month or so. Got a ton of half-finished satire in the tank.

    RE: keep this blog or make a new one: sure, it would be simplest to just keep this blog and maybe change the title. I guess I thought maybe a different blogging platform would get me more readers, like maybe since i started TDR maybe someone invented a new high-tech blogging system that would reward quality instead of quantity, but maybe the internet isn’t that advanced yet?

  20. Arturo September 24th, 2014 7:24 am

    So good to hear Kanjidamage is getting fixed!

    FYI WordPress released version 4.0 early this month, may be is worth checking, but for reaching a wider audience (apart form facebook and twitter) I’d suggest doing a couple of very good, short, youtube videos to get people hooked to your blog too.

    About the bicycle, it there still a chance? I’d gratefully take it (I’m about an hour away from Musashikoganei by train).

  21. admin September 24th, 2014 10:46 pm

    @artuo: KD back to normal. as normal as KD gets, anyway. re: youtube, i understand the youtubes can be fun, but then I have the same problem of: how do I get anyone to watch my youtubes? Do a couple of catchy semaphores? I’m not trying to be a complete smartass, i realize that if done correctly your idea could work, but I feel like I’m missing something because I’m old.

  22. UglyJoe September 26th, 2014 4:15 am

    Wow, I haven’t commented here in a long time. I help you setup that forum in the pre-wordpress days, and then it got hacked by some script-kiddies, remember? Ah, memories.

    As far as the new blog goes, I would probably stick with WordPress. There may be alternatives, but they all basically do the same thing. Stick with what you know, unless you really hate WordPress by now.

    Getting more readership…hmm…since Twitter is right-out, as per your conditions, what about duplicating the occasional post on Medium ( It’s a sort of user-curated blog site. I’ve discovered a few good blogs through it by writers who occasionally post their best work and have a link back to their full blog at the end of the article.

    Good luck with the move!

  23. moof September 28th, 2014 3:21 am

    Nope, nobody’s done any better blogging software than wordpress thus far. And it’s always chock-full of security holes, too. Sigh.

    I do agree that neither Facebook nor Twitter are remotely appropriate for the sort of stuff you write, where you might have multiple paragraphs, the horror.

  24. Rick October 1st, 2014 11:45 am

    Been an occasional visitor for years now. Came for the MP3s at first, and stayed for the awesome photography and interesting rants. All things must end, of course. On to bigger and brighter things. Best of luck to you, sir.

    BTW, a Twitter feed doesn’t have to suck. All it needs to say is “Hey, assholes. New post here at [link].” Boom. Done. Those people who use Twitter as an RSS feed are happy.

  25. sephim October 2nd, 2014 8:31 am

    It will be sad to see all this go up in smoke, but a change is always good.

    That said, there is a mountain of knowledge here that I wouldn’t have found otherwise, not without learning Japanese anyway, and its large library of tunes has always kept me coming back along with your rants that I admittedly 100% don’t understand.

    I look forward to the next venture.

  26. Quintasmic October 4th, 2014 6:24 pm

    Hey man! Shultz! I came to this site before I went to Japan in September 2005… you had a Tokyo Travel Guide. Holy shit I never thought I’d see the day you would end your Japan experience. Thanks to you I know about Rikai-Chan. AND WAY MORE CRAZY SHIT THAN I NEED TO KNOW!!
    Your reviews are rad, your writing style, badass, and your website, gnarly as hell. You’re gunna kick ass at whatever if you approach it like you did this site. HEIWA!!

  27. Some Asshole October 5th, 2014 6:44 am

    I used this site as a reference when I went to the Nihon way back in 2008, and I checked back in today because I wanted to recommend a few passages for a friend of mine who is taking a trip.

    Anyway, having information from a website that was not commercial bullshit and actually cared about how crazy the city is (why anyone like me really goes)was invaluable. Probably it was not your goal, but thank you for your time and dedication.

  28. dirk October 7th, 2014 10:54 pm

    aaaw i’ve just come back after sporadically checking your site over probably the past 10+ years(i think? it could be more or less) and the idea of you not being in Japan makes me sad!

    thanks for the great writing, and for making me even more psyched about Japan than I already was way back when!

  29. HSSL-TYO October 19th, 2014 6:13 am

    thanks for everything. I’ve learned more about modern Japan through TDR than 10 years of college.

  30. A Reader October 19th, 2014 5:36 pm

    I have been reading your site for over ten years. You and Masamania were some of my favorite sites to read when I was in High School.

    Thank you for making the Internet interesting!

  31. szhszha October 26th, 2014 12:21 am

    wish i was in japan to take that juno off your hands! i look forward to your continued satire, even if it takes place from a less interesting venue. but, fuck wordpress even as much as fuck facebook and twitter! godawful, all of it. keep doing what you’ve done with random and raw html and css, as much as possible. the new internet is ugly and i miss the days of the home despot. yes, we still read your site and no it shouldn’t be modernized to some hip colbert report wordpress bullshit!

  32. MechanicalPencilGirl October 26th, 2014 8:51 pm

    This was the last of the blogs I paid attention to. Before shit got lame on the internet. Guess this means I’ll have to go to Japan myself for music and stuff. Masamania is still around…sort of.

  33. UncklePucker October 27th, 2014 3:09 pm

    I quietly started reading Hello Damage when I moved to Tokyo with the military 12 years ago. I left Japan 8 years ago but my heart is still there, and I still read your shit when I need to remember how wondrously Japan brings together the sublime and the vulgar.

    You rock.

  34. Riley October 28th, 2014 6:36 am

    Thanks for everything man! Especially the tour guide, I had an awesome time in Tokyo a few years ago thanks to that thing, I would have had no idea what to do without it.

  35. Horgh666 November 6th, 2014 10:31 pm

    Dude! I only recommended this blog to just about everyone I know! Sad, sad indeed that it’ll be nothing but an archive soon. Guess it’ll be fun to check back in ten years and see what is still up and running in Tokyo.

    Time capsule and all that.

    I discovered a fuck ton of places to scope out during my brief vacation time in Kanto (I wish Kobe and Osaka were as insane as Tokyo sometimes, Himeji does get boring at times).

    I always made sure to let you know if some place had changed location or just plain suffer the fate of all places in Tokyo, that of one day being replaced by a Mandarake.

    Okay, that’s just Nakano Broadway Mall (Have you seen the place recently? Mandarake is buying it out!)

  36. fizgig November 18th, 2014 7:32 am

    Still reading here. You’re the sort of non-native I wish I’d run into in Tokyo (not the Danny Choo otaku wannabe twats you usually see). Thanks, and the best of luck to you, sir!

  37. Mesut S Sarpkaya November 26th, 2014 11:57 am

    I really loved this site. It’s bad that you’ll not write anymore. I’m a Japanese Literature & Japanology student by the way.

  38. Muzuhashi December 3rd, 2014 10:26 pm

    I, too, have been reading TDR on and off for about a decade, and have always loved it (well, apart from one or two of the gig reviews, anyway – I have to confess I skipped some of those…).

    Also, I’m a bona fide graduate of the University of Kanji Damage, which basically taught me Japanese, and which I recommend to anyone who’ll listen. If nothing else, you have to keep KD up and running, and the more time goes on, the more of a reputation it will acquire, I think.

    But anyway, whatever you do, good luck, God bless and don’t let the bastards grind you down!

  39. davide December 22nd, 2014 11:23 am

    NOOOOOOO Schultz.
    Hey post here the link to whatever shit you’re getting into!
    CIAO from italy!

  40. François January 13th, 2015 10:37 am

    Ah, shite !

    Schultz left the Toke ! It’s been a while I didn’t check TDR, so I’m late on the news. Hope everything’s good for you and the whole fam’ back in Cali.
    I’ll still be checking on this site and for news from you now and then anyway.

    Cheers from the Frenchie, who is actually back in Japan now, but in the nice town of Bum-fuck, Shizuoka-ken.

  41. mashimo January 15th, 2015 12:22 pm

    don’t use wordpress.
    don’t buy server space.
    wp is the past.
    use a system that’s fast and for which you won’t need to install a thing.
    I’d suggest, for paid platform: Squarespace, for free platform: Tumblr.

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