Tokyo Damage Report

more songs from the upcoming CURMUDGEON WITH A BLUDGEON album

48        Saxophone Solos Fill Me With An Un-nameable Dread
49        Fight For Your Right To Nap
50        The Mariah Carey Xmas Carol Slow-Jam Album On Trial At The Hauge For War Crimes
51        The Japanese Men’s Volleyball Team Builds A Whole Cabinet Out Of Butts
52       Is There Any British Dance Trend That Americans Won’t Fall For? (Learn From History, People!)
53      Never Enough Bookcases
56      Weird, Baldy-Ear, No-Goal-Havin’ Motherfuckers (Talkin About Cats)
57      Nobody Can Convince Me Stevie Wonder Has A Good Song
58      Or A Bearable Song
59      Why Would You Eat Mayonaisse (If You Wouldn’t Eat Cum)
60      Lament of the Return of the Itch of the Wang-Rash
61       Bon Jovi Beheaded By ISIS Like Five Times In A Row (How Would That Even Work?)
62      Hey Plasmatics Soccer-Mom, Slow Down With The Blonde Highlights (You’re Freaking Out The Squares)
63      Anthony Bourdain Gitmo Manowar Rectal Feeding Fatality
64      Sasha Fere-Jones (Reviews The New Album By A Leaking Woman’s Butt) (It’s Not An Album (He’s Not Reviewing It))
65       It’s OK, I’m Wearing A $10,000 Watch
66       Suede Boots Are An Idea No One Should Have
67       It’s My White Priviledge (To Hate Australians For No Good Reason)(Actually Several Good Reasons)
68       Fretless Bass With Chorus (Brings The Sadd)
69       Let’s Turn A Fun Bike Ride Into A Grueling Ordeal To Teach Our Little Kids Bullshit Lessons About LIfe (Because We’re Terrible Parents)
70        Q: Are We Inconcievable Tools? A: No (Because We’re Not Rahm Emmanuel)
71        If A Fat Grandpa’s Turds Had A Twitter Presence AND An App, Would You Buy More Of Them? (People Making $800,000 A Year Say ‘Yes’)
72        I Went To The AT&T Store Because You Overcharged Me And Your Response Is To Try And Sell Me MORE Stuff (You Are A Dick In Regards To That)
73        Short Songs And Long Titles (That’s The Curmudgeon With A Bludgeon Promise)
74        Can We, As A Family, Please Stop Calling The Cat ‘Vadge’?
75        It’s Not “Shut The Police”; It’s Either “Fuck The Police” or “Shut The Fuck Up” (You’re Damn Four Already, You Should Know This)
76       Jerkwater Mutants (Abound In This Town)
77       Why Must I Wait For A Million Pretend Cars (You Tri-color Fascist?)

78       People Used To Actually Think That “Soooooo Fiiiine” Was The Highest Praise (History Has Since Vindicated Me)

79       Miss Grace Jones Bites Half The Population’s Neck Off (I Ain’t Even Mad)
80       Robert Smith Beheaded By ISIS (Beheaded By Bearded Al Gore (Beheaded By Morrissey (Beheaded By Wendy O. With Multiple Chainsaws))))
81       When My Son Came Out The Woumb, The First Sound He Heard Was ACE OF SPADES (And His Own Screams)
82      Step-And-Repeat On Your Nuts, Front 242
83      All Singer-Songwriters Fight All Power Balladeers To Death With Mittens (Also, Geysers of Poisonous Stingrays)
84      Don’t Try To Fuck (When I’m Alphebetizing Comics)
85      The HELL You Didn’t Just See That Light Turning Green, Mister!
86       All Muzak Everywhere Replaced With Venom, Forever
87       Diamanda Galas Disembowels Madonna (With A Hole-Punch (Over The Course Of Two Weeks))
88       McMansion Made of Meat
89       Yippy Dog vs. Manhole Tentacle
90       90 Songs And I’m Still Pissed (The Fuck Is My Problem?)
91       Who Buys Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick Deliberately Intending to Take Home, Leave On Countertop Overnight, And Have For Breakfast? (I Married Her)
92       My Will Specifically Instructs The Funeral Director To Blow His Mom
93       In Junior High, Some Hessian Said At His Funeral, He Just Wanted Them To Play Slayer’s Black Magic Over And Over (I’m Still Down)
94       Think You’re Antisocial? Try Being A Prime Over 10 Trillion
95       Be A Pharmacist At CVS (And Then Suicide)
96       Only A Dingus (Tolerates Bossa Nova)
97       Hipster Compactor
98       Conspiracy Theories Have Gone Downhill Since Lyndon LaRouche (Step It Up, Wingnuts)


2 Comments so far

  1. Stim March 21st, 2015 3:46 pm

    So I was browsing through old music and I found a band that I think took a page out of the Adjetive Noun playbook, for three songs at least.

    Keep on putting out the good work man!

  2. sephim April 3rd, 2015 5:48 am

    None of those songs are the same thing over and over with a guitar break, the concept has clearly been missed…

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